#2445 - Bert Kreischer

[00:00] Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! [00:12] Hey, does your red light therapy really help your fucking eyes? A hundred percent. I'm doing it. Are we rolling? Yeah. [00:17] My eyes are so fucked. I can't see Joe. Get one of the Gary Brecca beds for your house. Well, there's a bunch of companies that sell them, but you want a really powerful red light bed? I did it this morning. Dude, it changed my vision. When I'm in the shower... [00:31] I can't read shampoo, bath gel. Whoa. Like, I'm like, dude, why do they need to be small? Can't you just make it big as fuck so everyone can see it? They're not that small. Well, I can't see them. And then I'm getting out naked, putting on readers to see what I'm fucking. I've washed my hair with conditioner so many times. [00:51] Yeah, mine was getting bad. Mine was getting where I needed these fucking things, which I haven't picked up in months. I heard you say that. And I was like, dude. Changed my life. [01:01] and I did the red light bed every day, every day, until I Googled how much it costs. That thing's fucking expensive. It's expensive, the real one. But Whitney got one that's not that expensive, and it's fixed her eyes. She got one that she just sits in front of every day for like 20 minutes or something like that. I love that. Oh, dude, it's amazing. But the big ones, the beds, they help your whole body recover. [01:23] Let's put that into perplexity and say what is the benefits of – [01:28] Powerful red light therapy.

[01:31] I use AI so much now. In the beginning, I was resisting it so much. Then perplexity came on as a sponsor. And now instead of searching things online, I just ask the phone. I just pull up the app and ask it a question. I don't have to type anything. And then it gives me an answer. And then I could say, well, what's the benefits of it? And then it'll list out the benefits. And then I'll say, what are the cons? And it'll list out the cons. Like, is there any people that disagree with this? Perplexity? Yeah. [02:01] I got one. [02:03] My questions are always like, they're always more like, [02:07] About me. [02:30] had the greatest run. [02:32] Like out of all generations around. [02:35] My generation, Gen X, had the greatest run. We got great childhoods, right? Right. We got to experience cell phones. We got to be impressed by the cell phone. Right. We had 9-11, which wasn't great, but it was a time when the country healed, right? Everyone wants a big tragedy like the JFK shooting. You want that moment where you walk by a bar and they're like, [02:52] What are you doing? Like you haven't heard? We got one of those. Right. With the pandemic, which is insane. Right. We had our music play better. We had rock. We had I mean, just the Internet took off. So we got to experience that. I think my generation Gen X is yours, too. Right. Yeah. So I asked that to chat GBT and I was wrong.

[03:13] What do you mean? The greatest generation is actually labeled the greatest generation. It's my grandmother, your grandmother. They experienced horse and buggy. [03:23] They then went, they saw cars. They saw television. All within the time they had horse and buggy, they saw people land on the moon. I mean, all that shit. Telephones. [03:35] Who got fucked with the baby boomers? They were just old enough to not understand cell phones. They got fucked. Millennials got fucked. Millennials got real fucked. [03:44] Yeah, I don't know about the greatest generation. I think you're correct. I think the passage of the Internet, like the Internet going through our lives and cell phones. I experienced VHS tapes first. Then I experienced answering machines. That was a big one. Caller ID. You know who's calling you. You can just duck people. That was crazy. I remember when caller IDs showed up. I remember when Star 69 showed up where you could block your caller ID. [04:14] back that were pranking you. Yeah. Like, hey, motherfucker. Like, what? What's going on? Dude, we got prank calls. My kids didn't ever got prank calls. [04:22] Like they never understood what a prank call was. The Jerky Boys. [04:26] The Jerky Boys were fucking amazing. [04:28] Dude. Those guys were so funny. Those recordings were so funny. You know who did a great fucking prank call recording? Who? Greg Fitzsimmons. Really? Oh, my God. It's hilarious. He did this one we called a rental car place, and he said that the car was on fire because they went to the gas station, and they filled up pots and pans with gas, and they put it in the back seat, and fucking Bobby's smoking, and now the car's on fire.

[04:58] What do you mean the car's on fire? [05:00] It's... [05:01] You can't do that anymore. Dude, Greg, you know when people go like, what kind of music do you listen to? And you talk to a real musician. You talk to the Black Keys, right? And then you go like, what do you guys listen to? They're like, have you heard of the Velvet Thud or something? Right, right. They've got some obscure rap. And they're like, that's what you need to listen to. When people say... [05:19] I listen to Sunday Papers. That's Fitzsimmons and Gibbons podcast. I go, you're real comedy fans. Those are the two funniest human beings alive. Ever. Greg Fitzsimmons. [05:30] When I got ready for Lucky, I brought him on the road with me. I was like, dude, I trust you. [05:34] Just tell me where I'm sloppy. Tell me where I'm lazy. Tell me where I'm leaving jokes. And that first night he was like, [05:40] You got a minute. And he went through my whole hour. He's like, I think you're leaving this on the table. Dude, those motherfuckers are the funniest dudes alive. Yeah, Greg's awesome. We started out together. We started like one week apart from each other. [05:53] For real? Yeah, literally. We went on the road. God, in the early days, Greg and I traveled everywhere. We did open mic. We would drive to Rhode Island and do open mics together. [06:05] He was a great example of the first dude I ever saw talking about his family on stage. [06:09] And it wasn't nerdy. Right, right, right. Him and his son ran a train on his wife. What? It was a great joke. He was like, I had my first threesome. [06:18] It was with my son, so it's a little awkward. I'm fucking Greg's joke. He goes, my son was breastfeeding. I was getting her from behind. [06:26] We had to high five in the middle. But I remember hearing that. Remember being a dad as a comic was off limits? Right, right. And I saw that. I just had Georgia. The second person I saw, the first person was Greg. The second person I saw...

[06:39] I mean, I'm talking just at Georgia. [06:42] was Louis fucking CK. [06:44] I went and worked the road with him. [06:46] And he was doing all the material for that fur special that popped for him. [06:50] And he was talking about his kids and he was just like... [06:53] My daughter's a cunt. And he goes, I know you're not supposed to say that, but what else do you say to someone who won't put their shoes on? They're a cunt. We're trying to leave the house, and they won't put their shoes on. Imagine if you wouldn't leave. And it was just like, and it was like, I'm sitting there. [07:04] You know, lost in like what I thought was stand-up was like some imitation of Dane, you know? And I'm watching Louis going like, this is something totally different. [07:13] Yeah. [07:15] Those guys, best prank call I've ever heard. [07:17] Sidebar, Brendan Walsh. [07:20] Brandon Walsh is a funny motherfucker. Brandon Walsh. What's he up to? I don't know. I think he does like... [07:25] Like, he's always been like more... [07:28] More art comedy, you know, like more like performance. He does these podcasts where he puts a neck brace on a wig and giant glasses that he plays a character. He's a funny dude, man. Do you remember Austin guy? He was an Austin guy. Yeah, he was. He was. I remember he was on your podcast. I remember him telling the story. I think about this all the time. A circuit city had closed by his house. [07:52] And he lives in Silver Lake. Do you remember this? Oh, that's right. He made a prank. We told everybody he was turning into a Whole Foods. And he got everybody so excited. Oh, Whole Foods is giving you Silver Lake. He just did it for himself. Yeah. So that he could be at the coffee shop and hear people talking about Whole Foods.

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[11:49] Leave me alone. And she's like, do you know when to do this later? He's like, don't worry about it. And then you hear a marching band come in playing Alua, Alua. And he's just trying to hold her on the line. Dude, I was crying. That is like, like, you know. [12:04] Not to get too meta about it, but comedy has become so, and I'm a part of this, self-promotional and put it on. I've got to take it. It's a new show. When you see someone like Brendan or like Greg and Mike who just do it for the pure... [12:17] just to make themselves giggle. [12:19] Yeah. It's so beautiful. Gillis is like that. Yeah. Yeah. [12:23] Gillis, I always think he's just like a... [12:27] Like my favorite Shangela story that I will further, until I die. We're doing... [12:35] We're doing Fully Loaded the first year. And Shane's on everyone. Mark's on everyone. Nicky's on everyone. It's like, stop it. It's the best year we probably did it. No offense. [12:44] And [12:45] Shane sees my daughter, Georgia, being a PA with her friend, Daisy. [12:49] And the very last night, Shane walks up and he's like, you guys sneaking beers? [12:54] And they're like, no. He goes, oh, come on. [12:55] I'm not going to rat you out. I'm like, no, we're not. And he's like, come on. You're 18 years old. You're on tour. It's our last night. [13:02] You guys are sneaking beers. And they're like, we're not sneaking beers. He goes, I can smell the beer on you. And they're like, we've been sneaking beers. And he goes, okay. And he just sits down right next to me. He goes, George is sneaking beers. [13:14] Did you know she was sneaking beers? No, I had no idea. Shane just fucking ratted her out. She's your daughter. Yeah, you're getting hammered every night. You're not going to notice like dad's drunk. You won't even know if we're drunk. She would. Yeah, she. It's funny because I go to like her college and other dads, you know, party.

[13:34] And she's always like, [13:38] kind of low-key about it. Dads will bite beer cans and kill them and shotgun beers. I know, that's what dads do. Really? Yeah. Which dads? I don't mean these dads. You're in a different school zone. That's what dads do, and I'm always like, you know what? [13:55] is what I do for a living. [13:56] I think I could fucking murder these guys. [13:58] She's like, ugh, Dad. [14:00] I'm like, oh, you like him crushing a beer and shotgunning it? Fucking like a microdose. What are we talking about? [14:07] Mm-hmm. [14:08] What were you telling about, Jamie? I'm sorry, but right before we get started, you were telling me about something. The... [14:18] REM sleep or a little lucid dreaming sleep communication. I got to figure out where I put it. [14:23] I sent a DM to someone about that, I think. [14:26] So I got to tell you before we find that. So Eddie Bravo calls me the other day and he goes, did Burt Kreischer lose everything? [14:32] And then get it back. I go, what? And he goes, yeah, it was so confusing. He was on Shannon Sharp Show. And Shannon says to Bert, what was it like? You lost everything. And then you had to build it back. And he goes, it seemed like it wasn't true. I go, it's not true. And I go, did Bert go along with it? He goes, yeah. I go, what? [14:54] And I couldn't wait to talk to you about it. Because I could totally picture someone saying to you some story that totally never happened. [15:02] And you not wanting to be confrontational. So you just go along with it. Is that what happened? 100%. 100%. The fucking whole show. How did you not say that never happened? He just caught me off guard. He caught you off guard. I was like. Did at any point in time you say, I should probably say this never happened. No. I was like, he was like, you lost everything in my head. I was like, I did?

[15:26] He was like, but you made it all back. And I go, I did? Where is this coming from? [15:32] And I just was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Why did you say that never happened? I don't know. I didn't even know what I said after. He's like, how did you do it? And I just was like, I don't know, Shannon. I just focused and really started. Like, I have no fucking clue. I should not be allowed to talk on microphones. I literally... [15:48] was like, [15:49] I don't know what I said even after it, to be honest with you, but I was like, I guess he has it in his notes. [15:56] So I was like, yeah. So someone must have Googled the Bert Kreischer, probably some Reddit thread. Bert Kreischer lost everything, I guess. And like, you know, the stories about you online. [16:07] are more prevalent than the true ones. So you just go, I guess that's what... [16:11] Be heard. [16:12] And you just went with it? I don't know. That's so weird to do. I was, I had no, I was like, in my head, I was like, [16:20] Trying to think, maybe he was talking about like, you know, I had development deals when I got into the business. [16:24] Yeah, but you didn't lose them. They gave you money. No, no, no. It just never became a show. But then, no, but I'm saying, like, maybe I was in my head, I was like, maybe he's thinking that, like, you know, I had a lot of development deals early, and then I didn't for a few years, and I worked the road, and... [16:36] Maybe that's what he was saying, and then I made him back. I don't know. I was like— But even when you worked the road, you worked the road, then you had the Travel Channel show. There was no period where it made sense. By the way, that is the least of my fish to fry on that fucking show. I got in so much trouble. That show, every clip you do goes viral. Every—I just am like—

[16:57] When I got done that, I haven't felt this in a long time. I was like, wow. I was like, I think I'm going to get a lot of texts when this airs. Well, it seems like he wants that, right? He's got a lot of people on the show that talk a lot of shit. A lot of people, like Cat Williams famously. That episode was fucking amazing. We talked about that. He just went in on everybody, including me. That's why I got him on the podcast. He said, Joe Rogan won't have me on. Has the same funny of three motherfuckers. Unfunny. [17:27] Suckers. [17:28] I was like, dude, I love Cat Williams. What are you talking about? He's the best. I'm like, I never met him. Yeah. I had never met him before. It's like, it wasn't that I wouldn't have him on. It's like, I didn't even know he wanted to come on. I would have had him on. [17:39] That interview with him was epic. Amazing and accurate. The thing about his shit talk is it's not... [17:46] He's not lying. No. No. [17:49] It's, you know, it's [17:52] When I got out, I was like, it's... [17:54] I [17:55] I don't mean this with disrespect, but it's Les Shannon, I think, more his producers, because he's got cards. So I think the producers are like... [18:01] What clip's going to pop? I think they go online. Right. They try to find controversial subjects. Like he brought up, I told you he brought up one. He's like, Bert. [18:10] you think Kevin Hart's just lucky. I was like, I said that fucking 12 years ago. [18:16] And it was just, it was all it was. And I know I'm even, but it was, this is what it was, Joe. It's like at a time when I, we won't, none of us were making money, not you, but like the younger companies make money and you're online, you watch Kevin and you know, Kevin knows I love him, but Kevin's like, I'm the hardest working motherfucker. I'm the hardest working. And in my head, I was like, we're all working hard. Like I, but a lot of people, you know, we're just, you know, waiting for a moment to, to, to get in front of people. And then I was like, and then I had an agent.

[18:44] Very casually, like not mine, but at a thing goes, you know, Kevin should mention how lucky he got. I said, what do you mean? [18:50] I was like, you know about fool's gold, right? I was like, no. [18:53] He's like, well, that's the beef between Kevin and Cat. His cat packed a gun in his luggage to go shoot fool's gold, and he got detained. And they were in production, and they're like, we need someone small and black to fit these clothes. We already got clothes for them. Yeah. And he's like, get Kevin Hart. [19:10] And that... [19:11] was the story I wanted Kevin to tell because that as a comic, you can kind of put your head around that. And I've, and I've, and by the way, I did not do a good job of explaining it on Shannon's show because it's like, I, you know, I'm a fucking talk out of my ass, but like every comic has had these like moments that skyrocket them. Right. These moments that pop and I went through it and I think you'll understand it now. But for me, [19:35] It was the machine story going viral. For Bill Burr, it's the Philly rant. With Bill, that Philly rant just put him in the next level. Jim Jeffries, he gets punched in the head at the comedy store in London. His manager happens to be a guy that knows the Internet, Brett Vincent, posted on MySpace, goes viral. Every comic that pops always has that. Tom, as I was telling this to Tom, he goes, yeah, it was me, Netflix. [19:58] He was like, "Tom got on Netflix." I mean, I didn't even realize this. Tom said it to me. [20:03] He got on Netflix when there were two comics on Netflix. [20:07] Bill Burr and Tom Segura. Bill puts his special out there like, "Did you like Bill Burr? You might like Tom Segura." And Tom's like, "If Comedy Central had bought my hour, I would have been fucked." But instead, I sold it to this small streamer, Netflix, and the only other one they had was Bill Burr. And so, as comics, I think sometimes, and you know how much I believe in luck, it's easier to hear about someone's luck

[20:30] where you go, "Oh, that is crazy, that happenstance." I mean, we've said it about you, and I know you probably disagree maybe to a certain extent, [20:39] I think the greatest thing that ever happened to you... [20:43] was... [20:44] That getting kicked out of the comedy store, that period of time where you had to reevaluate yourself and you created this, what you have. And you read. I mean, you would speak to it better than I could. But I think as comics, we look at you reinventing yourself and reimagining yourself and making it your own fucking entity and creating this podcast, which is. [21:04] changed all of our lives. [21:06] That moment, and it must have been tough to lose your agent, get kicked out of the comedy store, and have to figure things out. [21:13] that we all got, everyone got behind you. Everyone was like, that's my guy. I mean, I'm curious what your feelings about that are. [21:19] Okay, if your New Year's resolution was change everything and be a new person, good luck. So instead of pretending you're going to meal prep kale forever or do morning cold plunges, here's one actually realistic thing, AG1. [21:34] AG-1 is a daily health drink that supports your energy, gut health, immune health, and helps fill common nutrient gaps. Just one scoop in cold water each morning and you're off. It's got over 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food ingredients in there. So instead of guessing whether you need a probiotic or a prebiotic or sorting through 10 different bottles of pills and powders, you can just do one scoop and get on with your day. It's great because it feels like the grown-up move, but for once, it's actually really easy.

[22:04] like 30 seconds, and you'll notice the steadiness that sets you up for the day. Not wired, not crashing, just functional human being energy. I partnered with AG1 for years, and if you want to give it a try, head to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. You'll get the welcome kit, a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2, and AG1 travel packs for free with your first subscription. Just head to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan, [22:34] started. [22:35] - I mean, that certainly had an impact. [22:38] You know, it was also the Mencia video where people could clearly see that I was right. Yes. And then we were all a victim. Like, we were all hiding at the store. Like, when he would go on stage or he would be in the back of the room, if you were on stage, they would flash the light to let you know that he was in the room. You know how crazy that is? That there's a guy around that steals so much that they have to flash a light whenever a comic's on stage. And then comics would just start doing crowd work. [23:05] Yeah, it was insane. It was crazy. So all the comics knew that what I was saying was the truth and it was proved. [23:15] by, like, the consequences of someone who was already successful, right? So I was already on Fear Factor at the time. I was already a known person. And I lost my agent, and I got kicked out of the store. That video, that video was... [23:27] akin to the Philly rant, Jim Jefferies getting... Is that a viral moment for you? It was also how well Red Band put it together, too. Because he's such a good editor. He's so brilliant. It was music. He went back in time. He spent a lot of time working on that. It was...

[23:45] A work of art. But it was the first time that someone was held accountable because we don't have to name names. But we all know people who snuck through and still kind of have careers, although greatly diminished impact. Because when they go on stage now, people are excited to see them because they're famous. And then that immediately goes away when you realize there's nothing there. They have no material because they have to write for themselves now. Yeah. [24:15] off you see the early specials with like great jokes and really funny and then you see like what is this nonsense towards the end it's just like weird fucking like nonsensical rants on thing it's bizarre to watch but that's what happens when you get exposed and you have to do your own shit and there's a few of those guys floating around out there oh yeah oh yeah it's crazy because [24:45] Yeah. I'm not supposed to smoke cigars. I mean, I could text my cardiologist and see what he says. I heard cigars are good for you. I heard they're good for your heart. They gave them to Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah. Look what happened to him. I could have one cigar. If you're going to smoke one in here, I mean, yeah. That's what I'm saying, dog. Come on, son. What are you doing? Just do it like old school Rogan where any time I smoked weed, you had to pull the camera away from me. [25:08] Because you're on the travel channel?

[25:15] moment where things, but it's like an accumulation of those moments, right? It's, you know what it is? It's like, you get that moment, like I'll use Burr as an example, because, you know, [25:27] Only because I've talked to him about this specifically, but like he didn't love the Philly rant because right away everyone thought, oh, that's his thing. We're going to we're going to heckle him and he'll go lose his shit. So he didn't love it. But the thing is that that goes viral. Yeah. [25:41] And then you Google that person, and you're like, who is this? And then you see a body of work that's undeniable. And you're like, oh, Bill Burr's my guy. You know? For Shane, I mean, in my opinion... [25:55] It's that YouTube special he did. And then you see Gillian Keeves. You see all his sketches. It was also him getting kicked off SNL. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Him getting kicked off SNL was huge. Yeah. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. If he was on SNL, he got buried on that show like a lot of people. But instead, he gets kicked off. A bunch of people are mad at him. And then they're like, well, what did he actually say? And then people start looking into it. And they go, oh, he was just fucking around. He was pretending to be a racist guy in Chinatown. Yeah. That was the bit. [26:24] Like he was just – they were just talking shit on a podcast. [26:27] And then he releases that special, and you go, oh, he's actually a great comic. He's a dude. He's a special Olympics joke. [26:34] He's got so many good jokes. His special Olympics jokes, we were in the bus one time. [26:38] And, uh... [26:39] My cousin Andrew goes, [26:41] Has anyone known Shane Gillis? And I've known Shane for a while. I have hysterical emails that he sent me back when he was, like, just, like, an open mic or whatever. Uh-huh. Like, going, like, hey, man, I feel like we connected. Yeah.

[26:54] They're the... [26:55] Greatest, Joe. Ugh. If he knew that I was – he'd be – [27:00] I should face him and go, hey, can I read your emails on Joe? He'd fucking lose his shit. They're so fucking hysterical, Joe. I'll send them to you. And so I go, yeah, I love Shane. I love Shane. The day I met him, he goes... [27:12] He's like, yeah, I'm supposed to go up with my girlfriend tonight. And I was like... [27:15] But it was like 10 in the morning. We were drinking Fireball. And he was like... 10 in the morning? Yeah, we were doing... I used to do calling sick to work shows where we'd go to the club. You were drinking Fireball at 10 a.m.? He was like... That's what he said. He said, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend. I said, what's your girlfriend's name? And he goes, Big Tuna. And I went, Big Tuna? He goes, she's a big girl. And I was like, yeah, I figured for the name, Shane. And then I fucking... From that day on. But that Special Olympics jokes. When he... We listened to it on the bus. He's like, what do you think? Should we race them? I mean, it... [27:42] We were crying fucking laughing. That's like one of my favorite jokes I've fucking ever heard. He's got a lot of great bits, but especially the creek in the cave. [27:51] And that was like people got to see. They're like, oh, OK. Well, this is what he does. He touches on that third wire. Yeah. The third rail, rather. And it's like, you know, it's funny. It's really funny. And they were trying to label him as this horrible racist that Saturday Night Live hired. But, you know. Anything but, from my opinion. But that happens, man. You're going to. [28:16] You know, you're going to get attacked. There's always something. There's always something that a comic says where someone's going to get mad, especially in this day and age. People are just looking for things to get mad. But almost always it helps them.

[28:28] If they're a good comic, almost always. Like Tony Hinchcliffe, it blew him up. Like almost always when something happens, you get attacked. People start looking at you. Actually, this guy's really funny. And then they become a fan. Yeah. Because you're just getting so many more eyeballs. The people that are looking to hate you, they're going to hate you no matter what. But there's going to be a bunch of people that are all like, well, what's going on? And then they look into it. I mean, that happened to me during COVID. I gained 2 million followers in like a month. [28:58] a month when they were trying to pull me off of Spotify, when all these music artists were calling me a vaccine denier and removing their podcasts. [29:08] Removing their music, like when Neil Young and – was it Joni Mitchell? Yeah, Joni Mitchell. They publicly removed their music from Spotify because of my podcast. [29:20] Are they back? Yeah. [29:22] I don't know if Joni Mitchell is, but yeah, Neil Young is. I don't even think Neil Young actually owned his music, which was funny. I think it was just like a ploy. [29:30] I mean it's like I think he probably believed a lot of things he was saying. He was just misinformed. He just didn't understand that I was actually talking to people that were legitimate scientists that turned out – [29:42] They were right now. Now we know. Yeah. But back then it was like there was this hysteria about it. And a lot of people that were very skeptical started tuning in. And then the whole fucking CNN thing when they turn me green, like all that shit just that helped. I don't know if I could have like I'm not good that people always go, you know, if they're talking about you, it's good.

[30:02] All press is good press. But anytime anything negative comes out about me, it fucking devastates me. I don't like I could not have gone through what you went through. You just don't. I just don't read it. If you don't read it, you're fine. Like, how do you because like you come up in my news feed all the time and and like and I I'm. [30:20] I'm such a fucking idiot that if I'm scrolling through Google News and I see my name, I go, oh, what's that? And then I'm like, God damn it. You can't do that. Last time I did this show, greatest experience, great hang, lucky streaming number one on Netflix. I'm so fucking happy. I'm in my bed going, things are going good for the big guy. Hit on Google News and it's like a picture of me and you. It was like, Burt Kreischer, Joe Rogan. And they're like, Burt Kreischer ruins the Joe Rogan podcast. I'm like, motherfucker. And it was an MMA fucking journalist. [30:50] damn it. I was like, oh, and then you see it and you're like, well, it can't be that bad. I'm going to read it. And they're like, oh my God. But then my daughter, Georgia, said something very profound to me. She was like, why would you allow that? I'm sure that guy will write that same article after this episode. I'm sure he will. I think the guy also has a fucking football feed. He said I ruined the... Anytime I do something, there's someone that says Burkhrusha ruined it. And I'm the only one that reads it. And my daughter, Georgia, goes... [31:20] Literally looked at me and goes, did you have fun with y'all? [31:23] I went, yeah, I had a blast. I love being around Joe. She was like, then fuck it. [31:26] She goes, your experience is the one that matters the most. [31:28] She goes, "Why would you allow someone [31:31] to dictate your memory of an event.

[31:34] Thank you. [31:34] And I was like, who the fuck raised you? [31:37] I was like, I don't know. Well, you were on the road. She probably raised herself. [31:42] That's why she's so wise. She had to form her own opinions. She had to read books. Yeah. She had to actually form her own opinions and think about things rationally, having a father like you. You can't pay attention because the vast majority of people live miserable lives. That's Thoreau's quote. Most men live lives of quiet desperation. There's a lot of people out there that are very, very sad. [32:02] Very unhappy and looking to make something negative. They're always looking to be a critic. [32:10] Which is fine. That's their prerogative. But you don't have to read it. [32:28] Like, if you're going to listen to the good, you've got to listen to the bad. And I was like, well, I don't want to hear the bad, so I just want to hear the good. And then Jamie and I were talking about this outside, but, like, you have a social media team who's posting, like, your claps. Like, they're posting, like, the nice articles. And I'm like, don't even post that. Because, like, I don't even, like, just stay out of it. If people like it, let them like it. Yeah, let people have their own opinions. That's the best move. I don't have anybody that does that. I don't have any of that shit. [32:58] stuff on Instagram? Yeah, on Instagram, if I post it, it's from me. Really? Yeah, always. Yeah. And then there's the Joe Rogan experience page that the staff does. But that is just a clip from the podcast. They take an interesting clip where someone says something, it's put up with no context. It just says, you know, episode, blah, blah, blah. That's it. I try to do it as like,

[33:19] natural and neutral. You like it, you don't like it. If you don't like it, don't listen to the next one. [33:24] It's okay. So what is your... [33:26] What is the impetus for you to post something like, like when, at what point do you decide to share your life? Well, I just feel like if there's something I think someone will think is interesting or something that I would like to see, if someone puts it on their feed, I'll put it in there every now and then. But I don't post that much because I don't read that much. I stay off. [33:46] I don't think it's good for you. I think it's not. Not only do I not think it's good for you, I think it's genuinely bad for you. [33:52] And it gets in the way of all the other stuff that I like to do. I'm busy, man. I'm busy. There's a lot of interesting shit to pay attention to in the world. I'm not one of those things. I don't like paying attention to me and reading me. And I don't want to go online and see too many car crashes and people getting shot and animal attacks. Tommy and I have the worst fucking text message chain. [34:22] a truck. He'll just send it to me. And then I'll send it to him. And we'll always try to one up each other. So when I find something absolutely horrible, someone says me something absolutely horrible, I send it to him. [34:32] And then we just that's like my main source of like trauma online is my Tom Segura text message chain. But other than that, I pretty much stay off. I don't think it's good for you. And I feel way better. I started doing it a few months ago. [34:48] It's like a force of habit. Like I'm looking at it all the time. Let me just not look at it today. And then I did it another day and another day. I'm like, God, I feel better.

[34:56] I feel better. Like I genuinely feel better. It's like I'm getting over a cold or something like that. And so I said, all right, well, obviously, like engaging. Definitely don't read anything. Like definitely don't like read when people say things about you. Definitely don't read when you post something, read the comments. Don't do any of that. You know, people get wrapped up in it. You realize like people are just trying to take you down. There's so, I mean, not all of them. A lot of people are supporting you. [35:26] hates you. You're going to think about that one person, which is nuts, but it's just human nature. It's crazy how that algorithm works is that... [35:34] It's just like if there's someone in the front row that's not laughing. Like last night I had a, I don't know, it was at the bottom of the barrel, and I don't know how rape came up. It always does. And I was like, well, there's no phones in here. Let's go. If I'm going to go for it, it's in this room. Right. [35:49] And there was a woman that did not like it. [35:52] And she was a little vocal in the crowd. You know, the bounce was like, yo, you know. [35:56] He was working this out or whatever. And she's like, I was told to shut up. And the rest of the night, I'm watching her out of the corner of my eye going, [36:04] God damn it. And then I just dug holes and holes and holes. And at one point the whole audience is chanting rape. I'm like, oh, this is bad. But but it's but it's it's a. [36:16] It's funny. And then also it's like, listen, say you're some fucking dude looking for a connection in life. And you go to my page and you leave a hundred comments. And they're like, you're the best bird. I love you. When you come to Cincinnati, I'm going to be here. Tampa, I'll be there, man. I'm going to drive.

[36:30] And then the one time he's like, you're a fucking bitch. And then I reply. He's like, oh, I guess that's how I get the cat to come outside. [36:35] You know, so that's why I don't read any. Whitney was going into, you know, the Whitney thing about Miss Rachel. I don't know who Miss Rachel is. I found out who she is today. One point eight billion views on how to say mom and dad. [36:51] And I was like... [36:52] It makes sense, man. Well, she's an educator for neurodivergent kids. Is that what it is? [37:00] Yeah. [37:01] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. [37:31] to get 200 in rewards within 21 days. That's CodeRogan in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. [37:57] When you're a small business owner, you're always looking for the next big thing. Whether you're a gym owner looking to expand, a store stocking up for a busy season, or a restaurant owner planning a new menu.

[38:08] You'll always need capital to grow. [38:10] But traditional banks are making it harder than ever to secure a small business loan. [38:15] That's why thousands of business owners trust Cardiff for same-day funding. [38:19] Their online application takes less than five minutes and won't impact your personal credit score. [38:25] With over two decades of expertise, it's no surprise business owners keep voting Cardiff, America's favorite small business lender. [38:33] If you've been operating for at least a year and are earning at least $20,000 a month in revenue, [38:37] Apply now for up to $500,000 in same-day business funding at cardiff.co.rogan. [38:44] Again, that's cardiff.co slash rogan. Cardiff. Borrow better. [38:49] I watched a couple of videos. Pull up some videos of Miss Rachel. Because after people were dragged, by the way, the worst fucking people were going after her. People that I know that are comedians that are just unbelievably shitty, dishonest, disingenuous human beings. Bad faith communicators. People that just like completely distort anything about the person. And it's just because she's successful. It's a giant part of it. [39:19] making some crack about Miss Rachel because she was watching it with her kid. She didn't know what the fuck it is. [39:24] So here's Miss Rachel. Let me hear what this sounds like. [39:27] letters and have two really special guests. Did you hear it? No. No. [39:32] No, not at all. I don't hear anything in my own microphone. Can you help me count that? Do you hear it? I don't hear you, Bert. There we go. There we go. One, two, three.

[39:46] three [39:48] Four, four must be the number of the day. [39:52] The dinosaur eggs are hatching. Wow, how many dinosaurs do we have? [40:02] One, two, three, four. Okay, pause. [40:08] So [40:09] Why would you go after this? Like, this is like a little kid show. She must have been bored. There's nothing different from this. Blue's Clues, in my opinion. It's a show for little kids. Yeah. Like, I don't get it. I don't know. Maybe she was just trying to write a joke and thought she'd get some traction, I guess. Maybe she took two instead of one. [40:27] She got a little extra energy. I don't know what she's doing. [40:34] All of a sudden, she's like, fuck Miss Rachel. [40:39] because she didn't understand what it was, she said, and then she took it down and apologized. [40:43] You can't apologize to the mob. They come for you. They come for you. And she learned. And I texted her. I said, listen, I love you to death. You've got to stop going back and forth with these people. You can't do that. It's not – they don't – this is not a genuine conversation. They don't care if you're – like if you were a person and you were someone's friend and you started shitting on Miss Rachel and someone said, actually, that's like for kids with learning disorders – [41:05] And you'd be like, oh, fuck, I didn't know. And that would be the end of it. And then we'd laugh. [41:11] But these people are not looking for a real conversation. They're just looking to destroy your life. And then so many people are like, she lost her career. Career is over. But you weren't going to see her anyway, you fucking cunt. Like, what are you talking about? You weren't going to pay to see her anyway. Stop saying her career is over. It's not doing a damn thing to her career. You just want it to be over because you live a miserable fucking life, which is why you're on threads 12 hours a day. It's so funny you say that.

[41:41] I just read something negative about Whitney on threads today. I was like, what does she do? Bro, threads is the worst. And then I saw the Miss Rachel shit and I watched the video. [41:49] I had two kids. [41:50] I don't know. I look at that as I go, that's nice. If threads is like for people who have already been like humiliated on Twitter and they're trying to find a new crowd – [41:58] It's very weird. [42:00] Very, very, like so much negativity. Not that Twitter isn't. Like Twitter is super negative too. I haven't been on X. I try to look at the news only. I try to look at news and things that people are exposing that's in the news, which is very interesting. Speaking of which, what was that thing that you found? [42:17] So this is very strange. This is about people being able to communicate in lucid dreaming. Yeah, whether or not it's true, I guess. We'll find out later. Scientists report first ever communication between two humans during sleep. Oh, I'd love this. [42:30] Scientists say that science fiction may be coming closer to reality. According to reports, California startup claims it successfully enabled two-way communication between people while they were lucid dreaming. Participants were asleep in separate locations while researchers monitored their sleep and transmitted a coded word designed to be perceived inside a dream without waking them. The system reportedly relied on sensors, wireless communication, and wireless communication. [42:55] And specialized software to detect dream states and relay the message. The company's founder says that what once sounded like science fiction could soon become a part of daily life. No independent – but they're not saying what happened. No independent scientific replication has confirmed the results yet. Still, the experiment builds on real research showing that interaction between lucid dreams is possible. But what is the interaction? The coded word, I guess, was it. Did they relay the coded word to each other? They both got the coded word?

[43:25] I found out this was posted on Instagram yesterday or something. I Googled it. [43:31] Press release was from 2024. Breakthrough between... [43:35] Breakthrough from REM Space, First Ever Communication Between People and Dreams. So this is the article about it in Business Wire. [43:43] Lucid dreams occur, participants are sleeping in their homes. Brain waves and other polysomnographic data were tracked remotely, specially designed, developed apparatus. When the server detected the first participant entered a lucid dream, it generated a – how do they detect that someone's in a lucid dream? Because a lucid dream is a dream where you're aware that you're dreaming. Yes. It generated a random REMO word and sent it to him via earbuds. [44:13] He repeated the word in his dream with his response captured and stored on the server. [44:18] What? [44:19] Eight minutes later, the next participant entered a lucid dream. She received the stored message from the first participant and confirmed it upon awakening. Okay. [44:30] Huh. [44:32] It sounds like they're saying it in the room and the person's grabbing it. No, they're sending it through earbuds. [44:40] Yeah, they were both in their own houses, it said. Yeah, so they receive it through earbuds. He says it in the dream, and then she receives it. [44:49] No. [44:50] Huh. Well, you got to wonder what is happening in dreams. Dreams are very bizarre. Have you ever lucid dreamed? Yeah.

[44:57] Yeah, not – I mean I've done it a couple of times, but I haven't on purpose. And I've always wondered why not. Like why haven't I read books on lucid dreams? Why haven't I tried to do it? [45:06] I think it's something that just happens. No, you could actually do it. There's guys that practice lucid dreaming. I mean, I lucid dream pretty extensively. Yeah? Ever since, I remember when you came out with AlphaBrain, one of the first things you said would help with lucid dreaming. Oh, if you take it before bed, it definitely helps with lucid dreaming. Yeah, and I remember saying I didn't know what lucid dreaming was at the time, and then I found out I was lucid dreaming. And I've lucid dreamed my whole life, [45:36] Once I knew what it was, I could stay in a dream and, [45:39] and I could go back into dreams. [45:42] I could restart a dream that I just had, go back to sleep, and go, I'm going back in. Really? Yeah, yeah. It sounds crazy, and I know it sounds like horseshit, but I never knew what it was. I never knew what it was until AlphaBrain. There's actual techniques that people practice, and apparently they give classes and courses on how to do lucid books written on it. There's real techniques on how to lucid dream. I don't know why. When I'm tired, I just want to go to sleep. I go hard all day. When I crash, I just crash. [46:12] fucking around experimenting while I'm sleeping. I just want to go to sleep. My lucid dreams primarily are [46:18] Either, like, I realize I'm dreaming. I go, I'm asleep. I'm dreaming. This isn't real. Oh, shit. I'm in control. And then a lot of times it has to do with fucking.

[46:29] I'm like, oh, I don't have to put a condom on. This is great. This is fucking. I can't. I'm going to bang all these fucking chicks in this room. And then one time I had a lucid dream where I was like. [46:37] I knew I was dreaming. I was outside. I had to go up these steps into an old cottage, one of those old Hollywood cottages, and [46:44] And I was like, I gotta have sex with anyone I want. [46:47] And in my dream, I was like, oh, pick your wife. How cool is that? And then I went to this cottage. I know I fucked my wife. How cool is that? I know. I could have fucked her in real life. But a lot of my dreams back in the day, when I first started lucid dreaming, I would always decide to fly. [47:01] And I remember I had one right after we, the first time I ever tried Alpha Brain. [47:07] I had one [47:08] And I was doing a photo shoot on Melrose. [47:13] And I was like, [47:14] I don't want to be here. And then I was like, wait, I'm dreaming. This isn't real. I was like, I'm going to fly home. And so I just left up in the air and started flying over Hollywood and then over the hills. And then I was like, wait, I have no idea. I have no frame of reference for where I am. [47:26] I was like, it's getting dark. And I was like, where's the 101? And then in the dream, I just started, kept flying. And then I'll wake up shortly thereafter, but it's a lot of, like, a lot of sex and a lot of flying. [47:40] A lot of people breathe underwater in their dreams. Never breathe underwater. Yeah, they breathe underwater in their dreams. They fly. Flying is, like, really common. I used to have, like, crazy fucking dreams. Like, wild dreams. I sold a TV show to Comedy Central about my dreams. Like, I've had dreams where I wake up laughing. [47:56] or wake up crying. [47:58] Like, I have such insane fucking dreams.

[48:02] But, and I, no one ever wants to, no one ever wants to hear you. I would have dream, joke dreams, like real joke dreams. Like I had a dream, this is a real dream I had. [48:11] Where I was on stage. [48:13] And I was in a dance position like this. And I know this sounds horseshit. It's a real dream. [48:20] And the curtain's drawn, and I look around, and I see I'm standing on stage with four or five dudes that are all in Klan outfits. [48:28] And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I look down and I realize I'm in a Klan outfit. [48:31] And I'm like, motherfucker. [48:33] And I'm like, I got to get off stage and the curtains draw back and I hear and it's an all black people. [48:39] And I hear the voice of God go, "Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the click clack clan." And we started tap dancing. And we were so good that the black people got to their feet and they started cheering and we're like, "Oh my God." And so yeah. And that was a real dream. I woke up and I wrote it down. I used to write down all my dreams, voice text them. I used to voice text them all. [48:59] I'd have dreams about you and Stanhope and Joey Diaz. It was like my whole world. I used to think to myself, like I dream about Shaq the other day. [49:10] I was like, I wonder if Shaq ever dreams about me. [49:12] I bet he doesn't. I bet he doesn't. [49:16] Who's the, who's the, who's someone you've had a dream about recently? I don't really have dreams, too many dreams about people, not people that I know. What are your dreams about? My dreams are weird, man. Like, let's dig into this. I had a dream that I came on the podcast. I had to talk about because it was the absolute strangest, most realistic dream of my life. And it was a dream where I encountered these beings that were not human.

[49:43] And it was insanely realistic. They were very human-like. I think there was four of them. They were tall and thin, and they looked kind of... [49:53] They didn't look human. Their heads were too big. Their eyes were too big. And I can't remember. I think they had teeth. I don't remember. But I remember they were joking with me. Like, they scared me? And they went, ah, just fucking around. Like, trying to get me comfortable with... [50:08] who they are. And they were [50:10] communicating with me somehow or another through thoughts. And I was really freaked out because they seemed very, very real. It didn't seem like any other dream that I had so much so that I woke up at like three 30 in the morning and I just lay in bed for an hour trying to go back to sleep. And I couldn't go back to sleep. I was almost like, I'm not asleep. I'm wide awake. And so I went to the gym and I just worked out at four in the morning and I worked out for like [50:40] over [50:41] I got in the sauna, did the whole thing. And then I came to work. I was like, I have to talk about this right away because it was so strange. It was one of the only dreams that I've ever had that did not feel at all like a dream. [50:53] It felt... [50:54] Like I was encountering someone or something that was trying to get me comfortable with the idea of encountering them. [51:02] It wasn't like a dream. I was in the corridor of something that seemed like – [51:12] It was...

[51:13] It was not... [51:15] like it was from here. It was like from somewhere else, but it was almost like it was very oddly lit. Like the walls were lit. [51:23] in a very strange way, but it was almost like it was this corridor, but it had a feeling almost like it was organic, like it was alive, like it was a living thing. It was very fucking strange. What if that was something that you did... [51:37] In fact, it's experience that was taken out of your memory and then it's stuck in your memory and you're dreaming about it. [51:44] I don't know. I mean, you could maybe all day long, right? And so – [51:48] My feeling was that I had – and this is, again, it clearly was – I was dreaming, right? So it clearly could have been just a dream. But what it felt like was that it was an actual encounter with intelligence that wasn't human. [52:05] That's what it felt like. And it felt like these things were not, [52:10] They were not us. [52:12] And maybe they were what a human will be someday. [52:17] Because they were human-like, but they were very slender. They were very thin. And they were wearing these suits that were almost like rash guards, like what surfers wear. [52:28] But a strange fabric, like it looked weird. And it was the color of their skin. But it was clear that they were wearing something. It didn't appear that they had any genitals. [52:37] They had no muscle tone at all. They were just thin, thin. [52:41] And they were communicating with me and looking at me. And they were close, like where you are right now. And I think, like I said, I think it was at least three of them. I think there was four of them. But I remember there was one that was going like, like, joking around with me, like trying to scare me. And it felt to me after they did it, like, relax.

[53:03] Like, this is okay. [53:04] Like, don't be freaked out. [53:06] Whatever this is, don't be freaked out. And then I woke up. And then there was also this weird reptilian element of it. There was like a barrier. They had a barrier and they were feeding like with – they were like pouring food to these things that almost like was letting me know – [53:22] The protection between you and this horrific danger – [53:28] That's out there in the world, in the universe, in life is very, it's very thin. There's very thin protection. There's not much protection. It was just like a, like a barrier, like a simple barrier, like a, you know, like a fucking a blockade they put to keep a crowd from passing through an area to let you know you're not supposed to go here. It's crazy. It's crazy. Crazy. How much you how long ago did you have this dream? A few months ago. [53:53] But isn't it so wild that something that didn't happen can be locked in your memory and then you're like, God, it affects you almost like it did? Well, now it's like a memory of my recollection of the memory, which is odd, which is memories in general, which is why people distort memories and change them and make the past something that's not real. You know, you've talked to people that – yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we all do it. I do it on podcasts. Yeah, everybody does it. But this was different. [54:22] Whatever this dream was, I mean, look, there's a lot of confusion about what happens during sleep. We don't exactly know why you have dreams and what's the function of it, what's the purpose of it. But this one was different. It was much more realistic than any dream I had ever experienced before.

[54:45] Like the interaction between me and these creatures, these beings, was very different than anything I'd ever experienced in a dream. The point like I felt it physically. [54:59] And I woke up. I can sleep on a bag of rocks. I can just go to sleep, dude. It drives my wife crazy because she struggles to sleep. And if we got on a plane, I just I just cock out because I'm always going. So like when it's time, when it's downtime, I don't have a problem sleeping, dog. I can go to sleep. I'll sleep on a roof. I can sleep. [55:20] I couldn't go back to sleep, which is really weird for me. I mean, I was wide awake at four in the morning, you know? [55:28] And I'm like, okay, I'm going to the gym. Because I laid in bed for a whole hour trying to go back to sleep. And it's just a dream to go to sleep. I'm like, dude, just get up. You're not going to sleep. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm up. [55:40] I'll just go work out. Like, maybe that'll help me go to sleep. Nope. I was wide awake. [55:45] Wide awake. I wasn't even, most of the time when I'm working out, I'm either watching music or watching fights on TV. I didn't even do that. [55:52] I was just by myself in silence trying to make sense of it. [55:56] Just doing chin-ups and dips and trying to make sense of whatever the fuck that was. Because it just didn't seem like a dream. It felt so real. [56:05] It felt so real. [56:07] And when I've talked to like my UFO friends, like Jesse Michaels, who's like really into UFOs, he's like, I think you had a real encounter. I'm like, I don't know.

[56:16] I don't know what it was, but it certainly felt like a real encounter, whatever it was. Do you listen to anything while you sleep, or do you sleep in the silence? Oh, I listen to podcasts, so I'll have dreams. While you're sleeping? Always, always. That's so ridiculous. I listen to... It's so unhealthy. I listen to a podcast about Rasputin last night. I listen to... You ever see his dick? They have his dick pickled in a jar. Are you serious? Yeah. Dude, he was the... Yeah, the guy was hung. You know, he was just fingering chicks. Are you sure? I don't know. I think he was fucking... It's not in the... With a giant hog like that? I think he's putting it to use. Find Rasputin's hog. [56:46] Yes, I am. I would love to see his dick. You'll see it. That's his dick. Oh, my God. Look at the size of that hog. [56:52] By the way, that's limp and dead. Imagine what that thing looked like when it was hard. [56:57] Look at that guy's face. Look at the size of this cock. [57:01] Look at this cock. [57:02] Big old fucking pickle. That's a big dick. [57:06] Like, again, this is like a dead man's dick. So there's no blood in it at all. Imagine what that thing was like hard. [57:14] Big old Russian dick. Big old axe handle. Thank God that wasn't my dream. So he was, you know, he was like, what does it say? Rasputin's alleged genitals were sold in 2000 for $8,000, still surrounded by mystery with some experts believing it might actually belong to a bull. Shut up. They had a hard time killing him. [57:35] Yeah, they'd try to poison him, right? They'd shoot him at the end and then throw him in the fucking river. Well, Russians are different white people. Ah, that's the joke I missed last night. What? In the bottom of the barrel, they were like, Trump versus Putin. And I was thinking about Rasputin, but I was thinking, but I was like, Russians are hard to kill. And then I just went on to...

[57:55] What was his thing? He was like a spiritual advisor? Joe, that's a great topic. I'll tell you everything you know. Yeah, he was a self-described holy man. [58:05] He was from 1869 to 1966. He was from Siberia. So he gained significant influence with Tsar Nicholas II after 1905, rapidly earning the trust of both Nicholas himself and his wife, Alexandra. He became a healer, in quotes, for their hemophiliac son, Alexei. What was happening was Alexei was getting given aspirin. [58:25] by the doctors. And Rasputin came in and was like, "Yo, get the doctors away from him." And he was a hemophiliac. He had internal bleeding. And when they removed the aspirin, which is a blood thinner, the kid started to heal. And so the Tsarina said, "He's magic." Even like at one point the kid was going to die and he wrote a letter and he said, "Your kid's going to be fine. I had a dream about it, but get the doctors out of there." And the doctors were always giving him aspirin and that was what was injuring the kid. All the royalty at that time were hemophiliacs. [58:55] What? Yeah, because of the inbreeding. That's why they didn't have chins. Oh, God. They had long noses, and they were all hemophiliacs. Oh, God. And so... [59:03] But what's crazy is the Russian... [59:06] So she loved Rasputin and would write letters to Rasputin that kind of sound a little sketchy. But then... [59:12] All of Russia started thinking this healer has an end to the czar and the czarina. So all of a sudden, this healer is running the country. What they didn't know, they couldn't tell anyone, no, our kid's a fucking hemophiliac. [59:25] They couldn't tell anyone that because then they looked weak. Oh. And so in a weird way, Rosputin got kind of thrown to the wolves because they couldn't tell him why they needed him. That she wasn't fucking him. That their marriage was intact. How do you know she wasn't fucking him? That big old giant dick. I don't know. The guy was laying pipe. He might have been. He probably was. She wrote a letter that says, like, kiss your... Like, she wrote a letter and translation was like, kiss your cheek gently. Oh, yeah. Some shit. Yeah, he fucked her. It was Catherine the Great that fucked a horse.

[59:55] that yeah didn't she die fucking a horse i think so i went to that barn and when i was in russia we went to that barn if you you inbreed you know multiple generations in a row and then give them ultimate power they're gonna start fucking horses i mean what what [1:00:10] What kind of life is that? What kind of weird world is that? You're born royal? It's insane. You know what I'm watching again? What? [1:00:17] Game of Thrones. Started it all from the beginning. Are you serious? Fucking amazing. We're on season two now. You wait, your family? Yeah, me and my wife. It's so good, dude. We did it with the girls on vacation. Bro, whoever that dude is that played Joffrey, that guy should get all the awards. Yeah. He's so good. His transition from being like a shitty kid to an evil king is fucking amazing. The way he plays Joffrey is fucking [1:00:47] God, how good that show is. It's one of the greatest shows of all time. But you'll never... It's so good. You'll never see him as anything other than Joffrey. It's a problem. Yeah, that's a problem for a lot of people that have significant... Like Kramer. [1:01:01] Two things. A couple things. This is the other thing. Do you know he wrote a book and didn't mention that in the book? Really? Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, somebody read the book. One of the comics read the book. He's like, I'm waiting for that to come up. He goes, he never fucking brings it up. What's the title? [1:01:17] It's never the fucking biggest thing that's ever happened. The biggest thing that ever happened in my life. Not only that, it was the first cancellation, the first public cancellation. Was that really the first cancellation? Oh, yeah, through viral video.

[1:01:29] The first public cancellation through viral video. [1:01:32] Because I remember that night because I think I was at the improv and then I came over to the store. Oh, I do remember that night. And Brent Ernst was at the store. He had just come over from the laugh factory. He goes, bro. He goes, I was just a laugh factory. He goes, Kramer was off the rails. He goes, he went nuts. He got heckled. He started yelling the N word at these fucking people in the audience. I go, no. He goes, dude, it was fucking crazy. He goes, he was bombing and they were heckling him. And then he starts dropping N bombs. [1:02:02] No way. He goes, yeah, I don't know what the fuck he was on. But he did a set at the store. He seemed a little speedy, a little elevated, and then left the store, bombed the store, and went over to the Laugh Factory. And that was that night. [1:02:18] He was at the improv the weekend before, and I was there. And he was doing stand-up, but he was doing... [1:02:25] of [1:02:26] version of Kramer, a version of like crazy and he fell on a glass. Oh, he broke the glass and cut himself. But everyone laughed and I think everyone's like, "I think he's bleeding." But it was like really off. Well, he was doing really off stuff from the jump. Like he came to the store. [1:02:43] Think he just decided to start doing stand-up because Seinfeld had been counseling for a long time want to start doing something again And he started doing stand-up, but he didn't have any material. Yeah, he would just kind of fall down. It was weird He would like pretend that something went wrong and like try to do the mic stand and slip and fall is very odd which is also

[1:03:02] My theory that I've been telling everybody about Chevy Chase. Ooh, I'd love to hear this. [1:03:08] Everybody is talking about what a terrible person Chevy Chase is. And there's all these videos that come out of him screaming at people and being mean. I saw one with Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and him. [1:03:20] Where it's like right when they're promoting Caddyshack. Yeah, he yells at some other guy, right? Some other guy that's on the set? [1:03:26] And this is my take on it. [1:03:29] I want you to pull up the – [1:03:31] like a compilation of Chevy Chase's Pratt Falls. [1:03:36] Okay. Chevy Chase has to be in constant pain. Has to be. He has to be in constant pain and almost 100% has CTE. Chevy Chase used to throw himself down flights of stairs. He used to throw himself off the stage into chairs and tables. He used to like slip, go flying through the air, land on his head. The most... [1:04:04] ridiculous pratfalls. [1:04:06] The most aggressive, violent pratfalls you've ever seen. And he did this for years. Yeah. For years. Like he was in a car crash multiple times a week for years. Wow. [1:04:18] Yeah. I mean, maybe he had a shitty personality already. Well, I think he was also that first generation of what fame is. [1:04:25] Like, he was the most famous person to ever come off SNL, ever. Like, his walking off SNL was like, get ready for a movie star. And I don't think we'll ever, I won't ever understand...

[1:04:36] the level of fame he had. [1:04:38] At the time. Like his fame was like, and this is also, I mean, like, look, I love Burt Reynolds. But Steve Martin was super famous too, and he's not a cunt. No. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't think that's it. I want you to see these videos. I don't know why I can't find a compilation. [1:04:53] I can find a bunch of videos of it. I know there's a compilation because I've seen it. I just typed it in, and the video that pops up only has – it's a four-minute video of him on Johnny Carson. [1:05:03] No, I know. I'm telling you. There's a bunch... [1:05:08] There's a bunch. Joe Ford. That was Joe Ford Fell. [1:05:12] Right? [1:05:12] So he would, yeah, because Gerald Ford was kind of like Biden. He would fall all the time. So here is, dude, look at that. [1:05:21] You know how hard he falls there? Go back and watch that again. Watch how hard he falls when he does this. This is him doing this Christmas thing. [1:05:29] What happened? [1:05:32] The Christmas thing that you just showed. I'm telling you, I just accidentally disappeared. [1:05:37] Hmm. [1:05:38] Joe. [1:05:39] You can find it. [1:05:41] Okay, watch this. Watch this. Watch them fall. [1:05:45] Boom. Head first. [1:05:48] with the tree, falls down, barely stops his fall, [1:05:52] Chevy Chase, worst wrestling moments from Saturday Night Live. Like, this is just... [1:06:00] This is him just stumbling around. This is nothing. [1:06:03] But there's videos of him. Therapy session? Therapy session?

[1:06:06] Okay, obviously that chair is going to break. [1:06:14] No, this is not what I'm looking for. See if you can find it. Find it and get back to us. [1:06:19] But I know there's videos of him literally flying off stage, landing on his back, slipping legs up in the air, landing on his head. Yeah. I had to fall off a ladder for a TV show one time. They're like, we need you to fall. And they had a crash pad. [1:06:35] It's [1:06:36] You get four steps up a ladder, you're high as fuck. Well, even if you have a crash pad, your head... [1:06:41] is wobbling around, right? So your brain is sloshing around from the impact. This is one of the things that people don't realize, like football players get brain damage from getting hit in the chest. [1:06:52] So CTE you can get from riding a jet ski. [1:06:56] From bouncing on the waves. It's your brain walking, fucking bouncing around off the walls of your skull. From roller coasters. You can get it from everything. You can get it from a lot of things. Repeated, subconcussive trauma. But he fell and landed on his fucking head. Yeah. And if you find the video that's a compilation, there's a compilation of people like the worst falls of Chevy Chase. And it's crazy. Really? And he did this for years. That was his thing. Slip and fall. [1:07:26] tons of coke. [1:07:27] All those things. So slip and fall, allegedly, tons of coke. Allegedly. Allegedly. [1:07:33] I mean, I don't know. [1:07:34] I mean... I've read some books. Yeah, but the book on... Do you know what happened when Bill Murray was here? When he was talking... Bired?

[1:07:40] Are you talking about Bill? I love that book. So when he read Wired, he read – so the guy who wrote Wired was Bob Woodward. Bob Woodward was the guy that was involved in Watergate. He was the naval intelligence officer who became a journalist, and his first ever assignment was to take down the president, which is very suspicious. Like Tucker Carlson told me the whole story behind it. I was like, what? The people that broke in were all FBI. The whole thing was a setup. It was to set Nixon up. [1:08:10] They've already gotten rid of Spiro Agnew, who was his VP. They got him on, I think, corruption charges. I forget what it was. Didn't Kennedy put the bug system in there? [1:08:20] It was the president before that put the wire... [1:08:23] the wiring inside the room, right? [1:08:26] What room? In Watergate. Didn't... No. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, it was a setup... [1:08:33] Nixon was not involved in the setup, but they told him about what happened, and then he was involved in the cover-up. That's how they got him. Oh, okay, okay. That's how they got him, and that's how he got removed from office. And the recordings were from his office, right? The recordings were from the Democratic Party. So he was recording the Democratic Party. He was secretly recording the opposition party, but he didn't do it. [1:08:55] So the FBI did it, and then they brought it to him knowing that he would cover it up, and that's where he committed the crime. Like instead of coming out and saying, hey, some people have recorded these people. Even if he did that, they would have said he was involved. But the whole thing was to get him out of office. The reason why they wanted to get him out of office is because he was publicly and privately stating – at least publicly.

[1:09:18] amongst other people that were in the White House and that he knew who killed JFK and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Because, look, JFK had just been killed. He ran against JFK in 1960. [1:09:30] 60 or 62? 62? What year was it? Either way, I think it was 60. He ran against JFK. [1:09:37] And then JFK gets assassinated, and now he's the president. And when he's the president, he was publicly stating or privately stating to different people like he was going to get to the bottom of it, and he knew who killed JFK. He was like investigating it. He was interested in it, obviously, because he was worried they were going to kill him. So then they set him up, and they removed him from office, and they put Gerald Ford in as his VP. Gerald Ford was also on the Warren Commission. [1:10:01] Like the whole thing was a giant setup to get rid of the most popular president in the history of the country. You know, and everybody's like, oh, Nixon's a crook. Nixon's a crook. I'm not a crook. That was all like his gigantic propaganda PR campaign to remove Nixon from office. It was all a deep state operation. Wow. Nixon won the presidency like the widest margin of anybody in history. [1:10:25] He was the most popular president in history. And in today's days, we think of Nixon as being a crook and a scumbag. But he didn't even do it. [1:10:32] He was just involved in the cover-up when they brought it to him. [1:10:36] It was like, what is he going to do? He's running for president again to reelection, and they're saying, hey, these guys – they busted these guys recording things. Cover it up. [1:10:46] And so that's how they got him.

[1:10:48] And what was his post-presidency like? So what do you mean? Let me finish. Oh, sorry. Before I go any further. [1:10:55] Bill Murray is here, and he said he read the first couple pages of Wired. [1:10:59] And he goes, [1:11:00] He put it down. He goes, oh, my God, they framed Nixon. [1:11:04] That was the first thing that he said. [1:11:07] He said because the version that Bob Woodward told of John Belushi, his very good friend, was so wildly off. He goes that time where John did that speedball and died was probably the only time where he ever did that. He goes he was a total lightweight. He would have a couple of drinks and he'd be drunk. He wasn't a guy who did drugs all the time. He goes it was all bullshit. Are you serious? Yes. Yes. [1:11:30] Do you realize guys like Chris Farley literally idolized John Belushi because of books like Wired? Exactly. Exactly. And, well, the difference is Chris Farley really was doing drugs. Myself, I idolized John Belushi. Right. I read Wired when I was in college and was like, dude... [1:11:47] I mean, there's so many aspects of my personality that I draw from a book like that of like the way he was comfortable in an agent's office and P-12 shots I get because of John Belushi. Well, I'm sure he did all those things and I'm sure he partied. But like the version, this exaggerated version of just being completely out of control on drugs was fake. [1:12:10] And this is according to Bill Murray, who is best friends with him. He's like, it's not true. It's like if somebody tried to write something about you and I read it and I was like, this is not bird at all. So his initial thought was, oh, my God, they framed Nixon.

[1:12:25] Jesus Christ. And they did. They did frame Nixon. [1:12:28] See if you can find the video of Tucker Carlson explaining to me. [1:12:33] How they frame Nixon. I have a copy of Wired in my tour bus. Yeah, don't read it. I'm going to get rid of it. Bob Woodward is an intelligence agent. [1:12:40] 100%. He was naval intelligence. And then he left from that, which he never really leave. And then he became a reporter for the Washington Post. [1:12:49] And his first job was Watergate. Which is nonsense. It's fucking insane. There's no way. A senior reporter would be covering the most important story. You wouldn't give it to a rookie whose first assignment was... [1:13:01] And what about Bernstein? What about him? [1:13:04] I don't know. Because didn't they write it together? Yeah, they did. I mean, I don't know anything about Bernstein. And the Deep Throat was there. Did we ever find out who Deep Throat was? Yeah, listen to this, though. This is seven minutes long. [1:13:13] This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew, the number one brand for better sex. Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. Blue Chew Gold. Blue Chew has made it easy for 5 million men to get hard, but now they've made it easier to get horny too. Blue Chew Gold gets your brain and body on the same page fast. Other options just help blood flow, but Gold combines [1:13:43] and two, boost arousal and intimacy. So for a good time, go to BlueChew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third free with promo code ROGAN. You also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Blue Chew is number one for a reason.

[1:14:12] This episode is brought to you by Chime. Chime is bringing something fresh to banking. J.D. Power just ranked them the number one choice for new bank accounts in America, and that's not a small thing. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, [1:14:42] cash back on a category that you actually pick yourself. [1:14:47] Your savings rate, nine times the national average. That's crazy high. Go to chime.com slash Rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for more details. [1:15:13] Watch the thing. Let's listen to some of it because it's interesting. [1:15:16] And that's what it is. It's their tool. And they're perfectly aware of that. [1:15:21] I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer. I mean, I've been around the New York Times a lot and there are a lot of really smart people there for sure. Even now, I would less so now, but there's still, I think, smart people there. There are, I know some. [1:15:34] And they know. [1:15:36] But they think that it's worth it because they're bringing information. I don't know what they think, actually. But no, they're tools.

[1:15:45] And that's like the one thing that you're not allowed to be, even if you think the power is good. Like maybe they all support the agenda of the U.S. government, destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population. Maybe they're on board with that. [1:15:57] Even if they are, they shouldn't do it. [1:15:59] Because the job of the media, the press, is to... [1:16:03] keep power in check. [1:16:05] You are... [1:16:07] kind of like the seat belt. [1:16:09] Right. You make sure that things don't go too far. So and they're not doing that. They're acting as a willing handmaiden. When do you think that's switched? [1:16:20] I think it's been the case for a long time. [1:16:23] I mean, if you look at what happened to Richard Nixon, which I, of course, did not understand at all. Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA and... [1:16:33] With the help of Bob Woodward, who was a Washington Post reporter who had been a naval intelligence officer recently. [1:16:40] working in the White House, working in the Nixon White House. [1:16:44] And then he shows up. [1:16:46] Like a year later, and he's this brand new reporter. He'd never been a journalist at all. [1:16:52] Naval Intel officer, the famous Bob Woodward, we all revere, [1:16:57] And he's at the Washington Post. And somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of the Washington Post. He's the lead guy in that story. [1:17:04] Well, I worked at a newspaper. I've been in the news business my whole life. That is not how it works. You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on the biggest story. But he was.

[1:17:16] He was that guy. And who is his main source for Watergate? Oh, the number two guy at the FBI. [1:17:22] Oh, so you have the Naval Intelligence Officer working with the FBI. [1:17:27] Official... [1:17:28] to destroy the president. [1:17:30] Okay, so that's a deep state coup. What else? How would you describe that? If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say? [1:17:36] And yet the way it was framed in the way that I accepted for decades was, oh, this intrepid reporter fought power. No, no, no. [1:17:43] This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, [1:17:45] was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind, to... [1:17:51] Bounce the single most popular president in American history, Richard Nixon, from office before the end of his term and replace him with who? [1:18:00] Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren Commission. Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon's vice president? Well, because Carl Albert, the Democrat Speaker of the House, told him you must choose him. We will only confirm him. [1:18:14] when they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasion, Spiro Agnew of Maryland. [1:18:21] So you have a complete setup, like an absolute... [1:18:23] Gerald Ford... [1:18:24] the only unelected president in American history, actually sat on the Warren Commission. [1:18:29] Something else that I accepted at face value until I looked at it, I was like, that's completely insane. You didn't want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation of the assassination? Okay, you're fake. Yeah, he was on the Warren Commission. [1:18:41] And so, [1:18:42] Sorry for the long story, but the point is that happened in front of all of us, but the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it. The people who broke into the Watergate office building from which the name is taken, Watergate.

[1:18:56] I think it was six of them or seven of them. [1:18:58] All but one was a CIA employee. [1:19:01] That's real. It's like, look it up on Google. So the whole thing, Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in American history in the 1972 election. [1:19:14] He was the most popular by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity, the most popular president. [1:19:20] in his reelection campaign, and two years later he's gone. [1:19:23] Undone by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI, and a bunch of CIA employees. You tell me what that is. [1:19:31] Those are the facts. Those are not disputed facts. That's not crackpot shit. That's just look it up. [1:19:36] So why did they want to get rid of Nixon? [1:19:39] you know there are a lot of theories on that I mean we don't [1:19:45] First of all, we don't need to know motive. [1:19:47] to know what happened. They, meaning unelected federal employees, got rid of Richard Nixon, which is the most... [1:19:54] anti-democratic way to make a leadership change that there is. [1:19:58] Okay? [1:20:00] I should just say that I actually kind of believe in democracy. Obviously, it's not working well. Obviously, it's ending globally. There will never be another liberal democracy, unfortunately. But I'm attached to it because I was born here. I really believe in it. And it's better than any other system. So that's why I'm pissed. [1:20:15] What was their motive? [1:20:17] There are a lot of theories on this. There's an amazing conversation. It's on tape. [1:20:22] between Richard Nixon when he was still president, I think it was in 1973, and I think it was Richard Helms, the head of the CIA, though I may have fucked that up, but it was the head of the CIA, and I think it was Helms.

[1:20:33] And Nixon says... [1:20:34] I know why they killed Jack. [1:20:38] So Nixon was a student of history, obviously a flawed and complicated person, but a very, very smart person. [1:20:45] And he was really interested in why this guy who'd been president, just one president before him, [1:20:50] was murdered. [1:20:52] And he didn't think it was a lone gunman who was mysteriously assassinated two days later by another lone gunman. Like, it's so obviously bullshit. And he knew that. And he said to the CIA director, and you can listen to the tape, it's on the Internet, is... [1:21:06] Totally silent. [1:21:07] On this question. So I think there was the impression, I don't think I know, that Nixon understood that the bureaucracy was really in control of the country. It wasn't elected officials. And that's a massive threat. [1:21:20] because it's true. [1:21:23] That's good. [1:21:25] Dude. [1:21:26] Yeah. That's all media. Yeah. All media takes their slant and their angle and decides they're going to dictate it their way as opposed to – I don't even know – [1:21:35] I don't even know of a journalist that... [1:21:37] Yeah. [1:21:38] I mean, there's no one that sits objectively and watches anything anymore. [1:21:45] No, not in mainstream media. No, absolutely not. You saw what they did with the photo of that kid who got shot, that pretty guy who got shot in Minneapolis. MSNBC doctored his photo and made him better looking, fixed his teeth. [1:21:57] Squared his jaw. Gave him a tan. [1:22:00] You haven't seen it? No. Please pull that up. We showed it yesterday, but we'll show it again today, the before and after.

[1:22:06] It's in the text that I sent. It's fucking crazy. [1:22:09] Look at the difference. [1:22:11] What? What? [1:22:12] Yeah, it's him on the left. He looks like Ari's brother. [1:22:15] On the right, he looks like some fucking handsome CrossFitter. [1:22:19] But look at the difference. [1:22:21] Look at the teeth. [1:22:23] Look at the nose. They shrunk his nose. [1:22:25] They widened his jaw. They shrunk his chin. [1:22:28] It's crazy. [1:22:30] They decided he was too ugly to be sympathetic towards. [1:22:33] So then – [1:22:36] Man, this... [1:22:37] Kind of bums me out. I mean, I always kind of had hopes up that if I turned on the news, I'd hear some objective rant or some objectiveness of anything. [1:22:49] But there's none. Yeah, you've got to go independent. You've got to go to Glenn Greenwald and Michael Schellenberger and people like that, Matt Taibbi. You've got to go to independent journalists. They're the only ones that are going to give you the real deal. People that are connected to giant corporations, their jobs distribute the news, they're not going to give you. They're going to give you a narrative that's approved. Who was Deep Throat? [1:23:09] Because deep throat was exposed. They did eventually expose deep throat, and it's even more shocking when you find out who deep throat was. [1:23:17] I saw the movie. [1:23:19] That's a different movie. That's about sucking cock. That was a good one. Well, the name Deep Throat was because in nod to the movie. Oh, for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [1:23:29] Yeah, the movie came out first. [1:23:32] Deep Throat was W. Mark Felt, the number two official at the FBI during Watergate.

[1:23:38] who secretly provided key information to Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward. So the FBI was involved in the break-in. The number two official at the FBI was the guy who was providing information under the name Deep Throat. [1:23:51] So the FBI did it. [1:23:52] They did the whole thing. [1:23:55] Is that your phone? Yeah, I'm an old man, Joe. I'm an old man. It's the FBI. He's done FBI too many times. Who's calling you when it's on Do Not Disturb? It might be the FBI. Spam risk? Should I answer? No. No. [1:24:07] Why is it? I don't understand. I put it on a disturb. I have no idea, Joe. I'm old. They're hacking it. They probably do. That's a weird ring, though. It's an old man ring. [1:24:17] Because my wife doesn't answer her fucking phone, so I turned her ring to that, so she changed my ring to that. [1:24:21] We're two old fucking people. So then what's the fix? How do I trust anyone? You have to trust independent news, independent media that's not connected to any corporation. Because as soon as you're connected to a corporation, you're connected to advertisers. As soon as you're connected to advertisers, a giant percentage of advertisers on television is pharmaceutical drug companies, major corporations. [1:24:44] So you have things that you're not allowed to touch. [1:24:46] That's why you never hear anything in all the news about vaccine injuries. [1:24:50] Never. Never hear about all these people that are having strokes, all these people that are – the rise in heart attacks, the rise in myocarditis, particularly amongst young people, blood clots. That's what we were talking about. I got vaxxed like four times. Like boosters from W. Johnson, Johnson, Johnson. Mm-hmm. [1:25:07] And that's the first thing they say when they start looking at blood cuts. They're like, did you get vaccinated? And I was like, yeah, four times. Even doctors are like, fuck, you didn't need to do it four times. Yeah, well, I don't know why you did that. Because you had to get into a goddamn concert.

[1:25:19] You didn't have to have four of them to get in a concert. First one was real early. [1:25:24] Like I had it when you had gotten canceled for getting it. They're like, just... [1:25:28] Just Mexican people. And I just went in with a mask on like, hola. And got a fucking shot in East LA because I had to go shoot a movie. [1:25:35] Oh, wow. They're like, do not show your fucking face. And I was like, I won't, I won't. Why not show your face? Because it was like, it was back when it was like, it was just, what was it? Not needy workers. What is it called? [1:25:46] Remember the first round of work workers? It was like people you need in the country, you know. Right. Essential workers. And then I was shooting a movie, so they got me a pass to get it. Oh, so you got it when you weren't supposed to get it. Yeah, way early. Way early. Interesting. And then... [1:26:02] And then I got it. [1:26:03] I had to get it again. [1:26:05] In Serbia... [1:26:07] For a movie? Yeah, and that's when... They made you get it again? Again. Yeah. And then I got it when I came home, and then I got it one more time. Moe Amor told me he had to do it. He had to get boosted before they let him do his Netflix series. [1:26:18] Yeah, that makes sense. Doesn't he make sense? Like, why? Meanwhile, he'd had COVID. He'd recovered. [1:26:24] He had COVID when we were all doing those concerts, when me and Chappelle and him and a bunch of other guys were doing those pandemic concerts. [1:26:33] He got COVID. So there was no reason for him to get boosted. I got boosted four times. I got COVID 11 times. God. I mean, it's like fucking. It's so crazy. It's crazy. I had COVID when I was shooting Free Burt. [1:26:45] I gave it to a bunch of people they were like you gotta cough and I was like ah it's fine do you want to get tested? I was like no I'm not getting tested my wife asked me to wear a condom I was like we're good guys and then I gave it to one of the dudes I think and the dude was wearing a mask he was the only one that got it shout out to

[1:27:06] Yeah. [1:27:06] My buddy. Well, he probably had gotten boosted a bunch of times. I should tell everyone to watch Free Bird on Netflix. I should say that. But keep going. Can I tell you something I'm obsessed with and I've been dying to talk to you about? [1:27:18] - Thank you. [1:27:20] So like... [1:27:21] I've been watching a lot of UFC lately, and I want your perspective because I'm thinking of this globally. Like Jordan, they compare Jordan and LeBron James, right? Right. And they compare Tom Brady to Joe Montana. And the big argument they always say is, well, you know, Tom Brady couldn't play in the league Joe Montana played in because the rules were different. They got fucked up left and right, right? Okay. And, like, concussions and there was no roughing the passer. You could hit the quarterback late, all that shit. Right. Right. [1:27:51] Well, what about UFC? Because [1:27:53] Like, how would, say, and I don't mean slanderous, I'm just curious, someone like Tank Abbott or Dan Severinsen or Hoist Gracie, how would they fare against, say... [1:28:04] The fighters that are fighting today. [1:28:07] Well, it really all depends on whether or not – I think Tank Abbott would do really well. I think Tank Abbott would do really well because the heavyweight division is the most shallow division. Like would he do really well against the guys like Cyril Ghosn or Tom Aspinall? Probably not. But he didn't do really well against guys like Maury Smith, the real elite strikers of the day. But Tank Abbott was a fucking huge man.

[1:28:37] power and he would brawl. And anybody who brawled, look at Derrick Lewis. Derrick Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the UFC. And he's not... [1:28:46] like the most highly skilled guy in the sport. He's just a really big, powerful guy who has unbelievable knockout power. And he's still – [1:28:54] Relatively successful even today. I mean he has the most knockouts in the history of the heavyweight division, but tank abit would still fuck a lot of people up in the lower ranks of the heavyweight division Dan Severin would still take a lot of people down and beat their asses because he was an elite wrestler like those kind of skills Mark Coleman would take a lot of people down and beat their asses those skills that they have like the elite wrestlers and the really powerful punchers they would always do well Hoyce Gracie um [1:29:20] If – first of all, if he was fighting in the UFC, he would be fighting without a gi. So that would be different, right? So he relied on the gi a lot because – [1:29:30] He would get a hold of guys and they would grab the gi, like instinctively. And he'd be like, "Great." Like that's what he wanted. And then once he went to the ground, I mean, it was like a man and a child. Like his jiu jitsu was so good. And for the time, no one even knew jiu jitsu. So he was a black belt against white belts and he was just tapping out everybody. Nobody had a chance. In this day and age, that's just not the case anymore. Hoist Gracie still [1:29:58] If he was alive today, or not if he was alive today, of course he was alive today. If he was competing today, if he was a young man competing today, he would still give hell to a lot of people in an appropriate weight class if it went to the ground because his jiu-jitsu is so good. His striking was always a means to an end. His striking, he would go at a distance, he would kick at your legs, but his whole thing was about closing the distance, getting you to the ground, strangling you, getting you in an armbar.

[1:30:25] Tapping you out a triangle jujitsu. So he was a pure jujitsu fighter. And if it went to the ground today, he would still give real problems to a lot of fighters because he was that good. He was that good on the ground. And today with the difference in training partners, he'd be even better. Yeah, I'm reading this book by Wright Thompson. You know that dude? [1:30:46] He wrote Pappyland. [1:30:48] No. But he's talking about Jordan in this book and how at 50, Jordan had a hard time. [1:30:55] Like going to the next phase of his life. He still was like, what if I put him on? What if I put, I want to go, you know? Of course. He's a champion. It happens with fighters, too. Oh, yeah. I mean, you go back to Shannon Sharpen. He's doing better now financially than he ever did. [1:31:10] But I bet he traded all just to be. Yeah, it's the glory of sport. It's like there's nothing else like those highs. Yeah. Those highs, especially for a fighter. When you're like Justin Gaethje this weekend who beat Patty Pimblin. Oh, my God. Crazy fight. That guy, when it was over, the happiness that he had, the smile on his face, he was so – I mean, he was just in a high like nothing else in life. It's hard for those guys to put that away. It's hard for those guys to let that go. Yeah. [1:31:40] How did you not have your identity about your career? [1:31:46] Because I know you pretty well, and you never really – like, it's tough to disconnect your identity to your career or your dreams or your hopes, which I think fighters, it's easy to understand. Athletes, it's easy to understand. But I think it happens with comedians and actors and even podcasters to say, how did you not do that? Well –

[1:32:03] I don't know. [1:32:04] Um, [1:32:05] I recognize the pitfalls in it, but I also recognize that at the end of the day, you're just a human being. And I think I've said this a million times, and I'm sorry I have to repeat it, but I think... [1:32:15] brutal workouts are what center me. [1:32:18] It's the one thing that centers me more than anything in life because I do to myself. I humble myself all the time. Like I break myself. I break myself down all the time so that like when life comes or like all that other stuff seems like something I do. It's fun. It's great. It's but I'm just me. I'm just a human being. I'm me in the 10th round when I want to quit and the bell goes off and I know I have to hit the bag for three more minutes. You know, like I know who I am. [1:32:48] I don't need my career to tell me who I am. And I have enough fuck you money that I could just sail off into the sunset. Bye-bye. Do you think you will? No. [1:32:56] No. No. I like this. Yeah. It's fun. I thought about it. I've thought about a bunch of things, doing different things. [1:33:01] If I had multiple lives, I would live a bunch of different lives. Oh, tell me about one. I'd be a professional pool player. [1:33:08] That's what I would like to do. [1:33:10] Yeah, I'd like to go on a tour. [1:33:12] play professional pool. If I just had like a year to really practice, I think I could do it. [1:33:17] It's just... [1:33:19] There's no way. There's no money. There's no time. So I just have to keep that one in my head as a hobby and make sure I don't get too addicted to it. [1:33:27] you know. [1:33:28] My problem is I get addicted to things and then I just like obsess on them. And then the weird part of my brain that focuses obsessively on things, it would just overcome –

[1:33:39] all the rest of my life and it would just be this one thing that I think of. I allow that in bursts. Like I allow that like when I was getting ready for my comedy special, my live special, that was my whole life. I didn't think about anything else other than doing that set. Like when I go hunting, I don't think about anything else other than getting in shape, shooting perfect arrows, getting ready to hunt. I allow myself these brief moments of obsession, but I have to be careful. I have to be careful with my brain. [1:34:06] Your brain's fascinating. I wish I listened to you more. [1:34:09] Like when we were younger... [1:34:11] You said stuff that I just was like, that's not right. Like what? [1:34:15] It might not be right for you. No, no, no. That's the thing. I wish I had. I remember one time you're like, you're working too hard. Your focus should be less famous. And I was like, what are you talking about? And now I'm there. I'm like, oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. That's why I took the Spotify deal. I was hoping I would be like 10% less famous. Yeah. [1:34:34] That was my idea. I was like, good. Less people watch Spotify. Less people listen. How many people are going to go over there? Like Jamie kind of freaked out at the beginning because we lost half of our audience like right away. He's like, we lost half the crowd. Like, so what? Who cares? Good. I'll be less famous. I wanted to be famous so bad. Well, it's because you weren't. Yeah. And so I already was. So I kind of had a perspective like this isn't what everybody thinks it is. It's just weird. You know, like the glory of it. It's all fake. [1:35:04] you. Like, it's kind of crazy. Like the people that love you should be the people that know you. You know, that's a good thing. If the people that know you hate you, but the rest of the world loves you, then you're in an Ellen position, right? You're in this weird position where you're a fake person, where everybody thinks you're one thing, but you're actually another thing.

[1:35:23] So the people around you don't like you. And then when the water breaks and everybody starts talking – all the staff start talking shit about you and you realize like, oh, she was a monster. [1:35:32] I think I had the benefit of having some fame to realize like, oh, this is not. Also, I think about things a lot. I don't just accept things for what they are. Something's happening. I'm like, OK, but what is this really? What is this really? [1:35:47] You did listen a little because I remember the one time I called you when you were on a motorcycle in Vietnam. [1:35:53] And I was like, bro, you got to quit that job. And you're like, what? And I was like, you got to hear a funny comic, man. You're a funny dude. You're great on podcasts. You don't need to do this. [1:36:01] Like the world's changed. This is holding you back. [1:36:04] Thank God. Thank God. You know, it's like I always say, like, thank God I had the right people in my life at the right times. Because there's so much about, like, I'll tell you, like, you know, with the blood clot thing, they said, you know, [1:36:16] I never, every time I got sober, it was always to like, just prove I could get sober for a month, you know? Right. And just be like, I'll take a break, get healthy, get good blood work. I'm back at it. This is the first time I've ever looked at it like I never looked at how often I [1:36:31] I was disrespectful to my health. [1:36:33] Like how often I was like, like get in the airport and be like drinking at six in the morning. Like, fuck it. [1:36:38] And now that I'm forced to fly sober, I get in the airport and I go, I'll have egg whites. [1:36:44] egg whites, you need the yolk. No, you can't have too much iron when you're on blood thinners. Oh, God. This whole fucking thing is a nightmare. But they said sober for six months. And then I had a really interesting conversation with my trainer and with Leanne over this conversation. They were like, you know what's so funny is they don't see my lifestyle is partying and everything is disrespectful to my health because I work out, because I get blood work, because I'm sober for every now and then. They were saying...

[1:37:10] It's disrespectful to people that... [1:37:12] that just stay online and scroll and don't live their life. [1:37:16] That's what's disrespectful. How so? Like if you if you're just like you come home and you lock into video games and you don't go out and you don't really connect with people and then you wake up and you scroll for three hours and then you light a cigarette and you go to work and you come home and you play video games, you're not living your life. And they're like, Leanne was saying the other day, she's like, you know. [1:37:37] So don't, don't like, like get excited to start drinking again, but make sure that you can measure that, you know? Get excited to start drinking again is a wild thing to say. Oh, I mean, I'm looking forward. But how is it disrespectful to people that are watching you? No, no, no, no, no. I meant, I meant, you know, people that aren't living, like people that are leaving comments and like shitting on girls, skateboarding, going, you should wear a bra, whore. Like guys that aren't living their life and not spending their time out with family and living their life. So what's disrespectful to them? [1:38:06] I'm lost. You said it's disrespectful to them? No, no. They're disrespecting their own life by not living. Okay. By not getting in the gym, not going out, not going and having dinner with your wife. So how is your life, you disrespecting your health, doing anything to them? [1:38:20] No, no. I think I was just two parallels. Like I was looking at health thinking in hindsight, [1:38:26] Like how many times I just, you know, burned the candle at both ends. Didn't think like how fragile life actually is. Oh, yeah. Well, you're very durable, unfortunately. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Summer means fun and making memories, but it can also feel like you're in survivor mode with packed schedules, keeping the kids entertained, and chaotic routines. That's not so fun.

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[1:40:26] and save up to 30% your first year. That's lifelock.com slash J-R-E for 30% off. Terms apply. That's part of the problem. You were able to do that and show no bad health markers. You were drinking all the time. You got your blood work done. Your liver's fine. You're like, look at this. That's great. I remember you were super nervous when you first started getting blood work, but then you're like, it turns out it's fine. Yeah. Yeah, you have great genetics. [1:40:56] My grandfather died at 53. I'm 53. And then you start seeing people die. [1:41:03] And you're like, shit, man. Yeah. Like, this blood clot scared the fuck out of me because people die from this. They die from it. It's not... Yeah. It's no joke. And then you're like... [1:41:12] Well, fuck, that was just me flying. Did they make you do a D-dimer test? No. So a D-dimer test is when they test your body for clots, for microclots. So apparently a lot of people that have got a ton of boosters, they have microclots. And there's one of the things, there was a Canadian doctor that was one of the first guys to get canceled for saying that the vaccine was causing clots. Because he was one of the first guys that was doing a D-dimer test on all of his patients. [1:41:42] Vaccinated patients, the vast majority of them were having these microclots all throughout their system. [1:41:48] And it was being caused, in his opinion, by the vaccine. And boy, eventually his business wound up getting burnt to the ground. He lost his medical license. He lost his practice. It was a crazy story. And he was right.

[1:42:03] He was right. And now it's pretty mainstream, like that discussion of it. And, you know, [1:42:08] Even doctors who used to prescribe boosters don't prescribe them anymore, which is kind of crazy. [1:42:28] Antibody rate now? Like, why is COVID not as dangerous today as it was then? Well, the thing that happens with viruses is they become less potent but more transmissible. And that becoming more transmissible allows the virus to spread. And being less potent means it doesn't kill the host. So it's actually better for the virus to be more transmissible but less potent. And that generally happens in time when people develop antibodies and people develop, you know, like a resistance to it. [1:42:58] So what happens is the virus just becomes easier to transmit but less potent. [1:43:03] Wow. Yeah. That's why the variants over time got less and less. Like the Delta variant was actually pretty strong. But after that, they started dropping off. And then Omicron was pretty nothing. And then they stopped naming them because it really wasn't just a couple variants. There's there's hundreds of them. They don't even know how many. And a lot of it is because they vaccinated during a pandemic. And one of the things that virologists [1:43:28] throughout history, we're always saying is you never vaccinate during a pandemic, because when you vaccinate during a pandemic, you actually encourage variants. Right.

[1:43:38] Because the vaccine realizes, especially when you have a leaky vaccine like COVID. So what a leaky vaccine is a vaccine that doesn't stop transmission and doesn't stop infection. What it does is it gives you some protection through antibodies. But that allows you to get the cold and then the cold realizes, oh, this guy's got these antibodies. We'll just work around that. And then people who had antibodies to the original wild virus, once they got vaccinated, [1:44:07] This variant would... [1:44:10] see that they were or wouldn't see but it would have a different pathway because the the the their original immunity was to the wild virus the original antibodies was to the first virus that doesn't even exist anymore so your body didn't recognize these new variants so people get coveted even more easily i know i butchered that if you're a virologist but there's a guy named [1:44:34] Geert Vanderbosch [1:44:37] And he is a vaccine specialist. He's a virologist. And one of his specializes in vaccines. And he was one of the early people saying this is madness. This goes against conventional thinking. You do not vaccinate during a pandemic. [1:44:53] Jesus. I'll tell you what. I've had COVID a bunch. Nothing was like the swine flu. [1:44:59] You told me that remember in 2009, right? Dude, you got it bad. I had I thought I was gonna die. I've never been that sick in my life shallow breathing

[1:45:08] I mean, it was... [1:45:11] And I had to fly to Mexico because I was doing a gig. And I was like, I got on the plane. I always drank on planes, had two drinks. And I was like, I'm a death's door. And I fucking... [1:45:22] To this day, I've never been that sick in my life, and I don't know how it didn't kill me. You never drink when you're sick. Oh, no shit. It is the worst. It's so bad for your immune system to drink when you're sick because you just give your immune system this new thing to fight while it's already involved in a fight. [1:45:37] I got on the plane with Leanne. We were flying to Mexico, and I was like, I'm not that bad. I remember being cold. I remember it hit me like a ton of bricks that night. I was like, I'm getting fucking sick immediately. It was like, bam. Back then, you weren't even taking vitamins. [1:45:52] No, I wasn't doing anything. Yeah, that's the problem. And this is the other thing, the big problem that I had during the COVID thing. It's like I knew people were getting over COVID. It wasn't killing everybody. And they were making out like everybody who was going to get it was going to die. Everybody unvaccinated was going to die. But I knew people that got it and weren't the healthiest people, and they were fine. So I'm like, well, what the hell is going on? Like, what is it? And how come nobody's talking about vitamins?

[1:46:22] And then if you brought it up, you're a conspiracy theorist. You're a crazy person. But everyone listen. Because you brought up, I'll never forget the day you brought up vitamin D. Yeah. And I went to Rite Aid that day to get vitamin D. [1:46:36] And it was gone. I mean, the fuck? It was like it had been looted. There was no vitamin D to be found. And it was like, I think it was like D3 or something. D3 and K2. And they were gone. With magnesium is the move. D3, K2 and magnesium. [1:46:54] All together. Do you know what's so funny? I have rosacea on my cheeks. [1:46:58] Um, because I guess you got it as you get it when you're older sometimes, um, [1:47:01] And the cure is ivermectin. [1:47:03] That's hilarious. They were like, you should get on ivermectin. I said, you mean horse tranquilizer? Horse paste. Horse paste? Yeah. Horse dewormer, like what CNN called it. But it's so great. It was the first thing. They're like, have you ever heard of ivermectin? I was like, I'm friends with Joe Rogan. Are you kidding me? Don't put me on CNN. They'll make me purple. Yeah. Well, the crazy thing about that CNN thing is I mentioned a bunch of other things that I took. All of them were very effective. There wasn't one thing that I mentioned. I mentioned IV vitamins. [1:47:33] IV NAD, IV vitamins, and then the big one was monoclonal antibodies. And monoclonal antibodies, they made it really hard for people to get after that because people were just saying, oh, I just need to get monoclonal antibodies and I'm better. Bro, I shipped monoclonal. We were using a telemedicine nurse, and it was a part of a nationwide service that you could send people a nurse,

[1:48:04] And the monoclonal, the IV vitamins thing, it always existed. But the monoclonal antibodies, they added to it once COVID came. And... [1:48:11] I can't tell you how many people that I sent nurses to, people that I didn't even know, people that were friends of friends, my mom's friend. And I'd say, give me the address. Tell me who they are. And I'll send it to them. And I paid for all of it. And I did it to like at least 100 people. No bullshit. Really? At least 100 people. Yeah. Actors who are like super liberal. I didn't out any of them. They would send me a DM. Hey, man, I got COVID. What should I do? And I said, where are you? Tell me where you live. I'm going to have someone sent to you. [1:48:41] I just send someone to them. [1:48:43] And then they'd come back and thank me. Very few of them ever thanked me publicly, but a lot of them got the service. And a lot of people that weren't famous people, just like my friend's mom or my mom or my uncle or my cousin, someone got COVID. They're doing really bad. I'm like, tell me where they are. [1:48:59] And I did it, I'm not lying, I did it to like 100 people. I spent a lot of money doing it. How much would something like that cost? Thousands of dollars. For real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [1:49:09] Yeah. [1:49:10] I did it for people I didn't know. I did it for people I had never met. I did it for people that were famous that I never met. I just said it was easier to me for just to send them to them. [1:49:20] Leanne was the first person to get COVID in our house. [1:49:23] And I had a joke. I used to have a joke about it. She had COVID and she gave me a handjob and I didn't get it. I was like, that's how intimate our handjobs are. That's hilarious. And she got it. And I remember doing, I remember I called you and you were like, get her the NAD. You gave me the whole fucking list. And we got it. She got it.

[1:49:40] Over it. [1:49:41] Right away, we ended up... [1:49:43] Right away. And we're like, cool, we can go skiing. No, no, no, no. And then we all got it. You're not ready yet. You can't think you're done. Georgia gave it to me. She goes, I remember we were at the, Georgia gave it to me. And I remember we were sitting at the dinner table that night at our ski place. And she was like, started crying. I go, baby, don't cry. It's fine. Listen, it's totally fine. She was like, you're high risk. [1:50:05] You got to think of it as like, it's over. The bad part's over. But now your body's in recovery. [1:50:13] or doing anything crazy. I went skiing the first day with COVID. [1:50:17] thinking, you know, it's just me. The mountain was empty. I was like, it's just me. I don't really have it. I'm fine. I tested negative. I remember I tested negative. I was like, I'm just hungover from last night. [1:50:27] And when I got down, I tested again and I tested positive. And I already had my tour bus come and grab Georgia and Leanne and drive them back to L.A. So it's me and Isla. Isla was like... I only got it because I stayed up late one night drinking and playing pool till like 5 o'clock in the morning with my friend John Shulman. I remember you telling me that. You're like, it's more... [1:50:47] You said you were more run down. That's why you got it. I was exhausted because my friend John, John Shulman, shout out to John. He makes pool cues, like awesome pool cues. He lives in Florida. And I talked to him back and forth online, but I never hung out with him. And then I made an appointment to meet him at a pool hall. And we met at this pool hall. And we played pool until like 5 o'clock in the morning laughing, having a good time. [1:51:08] And then –

[1:51:10] I got back to the hotel. I was, like, really tired. I was like, boy, I fucked up. I went so hard. Like, we were out, and I had a bunch of margaritas. And it was late. You know, it was late at night. And then in the morning, I just felt like shit. I took a hot bath. I felt like shit. I had a gig that night. I did a gig that night. I did an arena with Tony Hinchcliffe and Laura Bites. We did an arena in Florida. And then I flew back home. And on the way home, I was cold. I was like, God, why am I so cold? Is this airplane cold? [1:51:40] I go, I might have COVID. Maybe you should sleep in another room. Because she had gotten COVID and gotten over it. Which, by the way, when she had it, I fucked her. I didn't even think about it. I was like, I'm trying to get it. I never got it. My whole family got it. But I've always been the one who's always cold plunging, always sauna, always vitamins, always working out. She works out, too. But it's like she got it. And my kids got it. And I was home. I hugged them. I'm like, Daddy, you're going to get it. I'm like, I'm kidding. Shit. I never got it. [1:52:10] didn't feel that good. So when I worked out, I just took it light. I just went through the routine like nice and easy, not pushing myself. And then the next day, still don't feel that good. Nice and easy. And then the third day, I'm like, I feel pretty fucking good. And I went pretty hard. I'm like, feel great. And it was done. I never got COVID. And then that one time I got it, [1:52:29] And then I didn't get it that bad. The one day I felt like shit. I got all the meds and then, you know, a couple days later I made that video and I put that video up. [1:52:39] That was honest. It was like, I got COVID. I got all this medicine. I feel better now. They didn't like the idea that this healthy person was saying you could get over this. And also a healthy person that's in their 50s was saying you can get over this and you don't need this radical experimental medicine that they're trying to push on people. And so that's just another example of the mainstream media that's not there for the news. Because if they really were there to inform people, they would say, well, what did he do?

[1:53:09] him because they're fucking compromised. They're all compromised by the people that pay their advertising budget. The amount of money that pharmaceutical drug companies spend on mainstream media is fucking preposterous. And they don't do it because they're trying to convince people to sell drugs. They do it specifically because they don't want those media organizations to criticize any vaccines or any pharmaceutical drugs. You never hear them talking about there's no mainstream big [1:53:39] medication and if there is it's because that company is probably about to go under and a new company is asking them to talk about it. [1:53:47] It makes me, I mean, I've always said, and people think I'm a fucking idiot, but I don't trust sleep apnea machines. [1:53:53] Well, sleep apnea machines work. I know, but I think they overdiagnose sleep apnea machines because there's a kickback. There's got to be a kickback. Well, there probably is. There's a, you know, look, sleep apnea is a real thing and it's really fucking dangerous. But is it, is it as, I mean. [1:54:08] People die. Everyone's got it. [1:54:10] Well, not everyone has it. A lot of people snore, but there's ways around. There's mouthpieces you can use to keep your tongue from closing your windpipe. You know what I do? I put a mouthpiece in, and then I use mouth tape. I've been using mouth tape. You know, hostage tape? Yeah. Yeah, I use that stuff. I put it over my mouth, and I sleep, and I breathe through my nose. [1:54:29] And I feel so much better when I wake up. I mean, significantly better with less sleep. Like if I have five hours sleep with hostage shape, I feel better than if I have eight hours sleep without it. Really? A hundred percent. You feel different. I don't know why. I'm sure –

[1:54:46] Okay, let's find out. What is the science behind breathing through your nose while you sleep? Why is it better? Like, what is the science behind it? I don't know what the science is, but I know that a bunch of health experts, they recommended it to me. It's like, take my mouth shut. That sounds so stupid. Yeah. I did it. [1:55:04] And then the first night I did it, I woke up and I'm like, whoa, I feel great. Like I feel significantly better. And now I do it every night. So I put a mouthpiece in and then I put the hostage tape over my mouth. So the mouthpiece just holds your tongue in place? Exactly, because I have a big tongue. I have a big tongue and I have a big neck. [1:55:22] The problem is when you have big neck muscles, like football players, a lot of them, most of them have sleep apnea because all those muscles, they constrict the walls of your throat. So there's all this tissue that didn't exist before. And then you have this fat tongue. So I can't sleep on my back. If I sleep on my back, it's like – That's me. Yeah. Yeah. [1:55:44] Okay. Breathing through the nose during sleep offers key health advantages over mouth breathing. It filters and conditions air for better lung efficiency and promotes deeper rest. Nasal passages filter dust, allergens, and pollutants while warming and humidifying air, protecting the airwaves from irritation. This reduces dryness in the mouth and throat common with mouth breathing. [1:56:04] I got that. I wake up, my mouth's so dry, my tongue's like a finger. Reduce snoring and sleep apnea risk. Nose breathing keeps the tongue positioned correctly against the palate and jaw forward, maintaining an open airway that minimizes snoring and sleep apnea episodes. Mouth breathing allows the tongue to fall back, obstructing airflow, which definitely happens to me. Improved oxygenation. Jesus. Oxygenation.

[1:56:27] Ox... [1:56:28] oxygenation and relaxation. It boosts nitric oxide production for better oxygen uptake and blood flow, supporting deeper sleep cycles and parasympathetic nervous system activation for relaxation. This leads to fewer awakenings and higher sleep quality. [1:56:44] For me, I know for a fact it helps for a fact. [1:56:49] For my personal feeling, when I wake up in the morning and I tape my mouth shut, I feel way better. Really? Yeah, like way better. I snore like crazy, but I don't notice it. The only problem is you have a beard. So the tape will slip off with a beard. [1:57:03] Maybe I'll just get denture cream and put it on my lips. You ever do that? We used to do that with people when they were sleeping. Squeeze your lips together? How do you open them then? Oh, you can't. Oh, Jesus. When people would pass out in our Trinity house, we'd put denture cream on their lips. Oh, boy. And then they'd wake up like, that's fucking terrifying. That's terrible. Don't do that. I'm still kind of stuck. I'm still stuck on this concept that... [1:57:27] With corporate money, we lose... [1:57:29] Not as much freedom of speech or freedom of opinion. Well, you lose objective reality from people that are supposed to be giving you information. Right. So they're not giving you reality. What they're giving you is a filtered narrative that has been promoted by major corporations that have a vested interest in profiting off of this narrative being pushed forward. Like if you don't get the vaccine, you're going to die. [1:57:55] Right. Yeah, that was a big one. And that was why they attacked me. Why they attacked me was because like I showed that there's something different. Like, oh, look at this healthy guy who's in his 50s. It's really obsessed with health, works out every day. And look how quick he got over COVID.

[1:58:09] This isn't this thing that we're pretending it is. We're pretending it's a plague. It's not. It's like a bad flu. And again, for me, it was like, and look, I've done this. Like I said, I did it for a lot of people, but just IV vitamins. I've sent people to be. I did it for Bill Burr. Bill Burr was here and he was sick and he was coughing. And this is like long after the pandemic. It's like 2024. And he was doing a show and I came to visit him. He's like, I can't get over this cold. I go, listen to me. I go, I'm going to give you this number. I'm going to give you these people. [1:58:39] Get a hold of them and schedule an IV mega dose vitamin trip. You want high doses of vitamin B. You want high doses of D. You want high doses of C and zinc. You want all those things together, and I guarantee you you're going to be fine. So he was sick for weeks. He couldn't get over this fucking cough. He calls me like a day later. He goes, dude, I can't fucking believe how good I feel. He goes, Dr. Joe Rogan, I'm calling you every time I have a problem with this again. [1:59:09] when Dana White had COVID, he threw some eucalyptus on the rocks in his sauna and he couldn't smell it. And he goes, oh my God, I got COVID. He goes, the first thing I did is call Joe Rogan. [1:59:20] He called me up, and I said, I'll set you up. We're going to get you monoclonal antibodies. We're going to get you this. We're going to get you that. Boom. One day later, he's better. [1:59:28] That's the reality. It's like your body needs tools to let your immune system function at its optimum. And one of the best tools is nutrients. Vitamin D is amazing for your immune system. And it's not just a vitamin. It's a hormone. And it's a hormone that we don't get because we're not in the sun enough. The best way to get vitamin D is sunlight. The second best way is supplementation. And it's really easy. You just take vitamin D supplements.

[1:59:58] which makes it absorb better and I take it also again with magnesium and do that and I also took zinc with um uh what is this called? [2:00:09] It's an ionophore. Quercetin. So I take zinc with quercetin. Quercetin aids in the zinc absorption in your body. I take all these different things. But also, I'm on the ball. I know what I'm doing. But they didn't say that. They said he's taking horse dewormer because they were trying to shame me, and they were trying to make it look like I was a fool, and they were trying to turn all these people that were terrified about dying from this plague against me. Is that what's happening? [2:00:39] Thank you. [2:00:39] you know, [2:00:40] It, like... [2:00:42] the money behind podcasting and podcasting kind of changing. You know, like podcasting has gotten a little more corporate where the where I feel. I don't know if you see it in what way. Well, it's like, I mean, I look to the Golden Globes and who was nominated. And those were all I mean, I think they're all [2:00:58] you know, corporate, corporate podcasts. Yeah. Let me, let me help with that. Um, so here's the thing. A lot of people say, why wasn't Joe Rogan nominated for the golden globes? And like, why did it, you know, Amy Poehler went, [2:01:08] I didn't submit. [2:01:10] Bye. [2:01:12] So they asked me to submit to be nominated for the Golden Globes, and you had to pay $500. And the $500 is like for paperwork or whatever. I said, no. No. [2:01:23] I go, I don't care. I already won. Like, you can't tell me I didn't win. I've been number one for six years in a row. All of a sudden, you're going to have a contest in front of all these people wearing tuxedos, and you're going to say, now I'm not number one?

[2:01:33] Like, fuck off. [2:01:34] You can't – like I don't care that I'm number one, but I am in fact number one. [2:01:40] So if all of a sudden you have a contest to decide who's really number one among us, like that's amongst you. You're allowed to have your opinion. You like Amy Poehler better than me. That's great. [2:01:50] Oh, that's so fucking funny, Joe. Do you know how many people have been... [2:01:55] Like ride or die for you. Like the fact that Joe Rogan didn't win the fact that, and I've heard that so much that it's so funny. You just didn't submit. Yeah. They asked me to. [2:02:06] Yeah, it was like one of like six candidates. They took the top people. They basically just took the top people to charts, but which, you know, it's fine. First of all, Amy Poehler's podcast is pretty good. I haven't seen it. It's pretty good. I'm sure it's good. It won. I'm sure someone must love it. If it sucked, they would give it to someone else, right? Dax is really good. Like there's some great podcasts out there. I don't know who was even nominated. I don't even know who was in. I just know that Amy Poehler won and a lot of people were upset. Yeah. [2:02:32] She's had a podcast for six months and she won. Great. You gave it to a famous person, which, you know, in that world, that's what they do. They give it to a person that like is going to look. You give it to Amy Poehler amongst their circles. It's not going to have any criticism. There's a lot of really good fucking podcasts. There's some great. I don't know if amongst her group, if I listen to all of them, I would decide that hers is number one. But I just know that I didn't submit. I don't want to be a part of that. I don't care. [2:02:59] You're just a group of people that just decide all of a sudden that you're going to give an award out.

[2:03:04] You got a trophy? Fuck off. Dude. [2:03:08] I'm sorry. [2:03:09] This, okay. So when we did the show and everyone's like, are you looking for a season two? And obviously that would be great. But you know what I said to Leanne the day after it came out? I said, I think I already won. I think I got everything I wanted. I did something I'm proud of. And people responding to it, people like, the texts I get are people that will never promote it on their social media. Ron White loves it. Ron loved it. When Ron came in last night. [2:03:36] And the first thing he said to me was, I watched your show. I watched every fucking episode. Yeah, he binged it. He binged it with his girlfriend. I was like, Joe, you know how I feel about Ron. I'll get emotional. He's like my guy. And Ron's not a bullshit artist. He's not. If Ron loved it, he loved it. And he came in and he was ranting and raving about it. That's all you need. Just do your best. Yeah. All these awards and all this shit. Awards for art are crazy. It's insane because it's not, it shouldn't be a competition. Well, it's also so subjective. [2:04:06] loves. It is her favorite music. But she's a 15-year-old girl. I can't say it sucks. Because it doesn't suck. It's just not for me. You know what I mean? That's why awards for art are crazy. This is the best. To who? To a group of fucking people that we deem the gatekeepers of all that's appropriate? So when did you come... I'm always fascinated by you.

[2:04:36] when you were on news radio? [2:04:37] Oh, no. Well, this radio thing was hilarious. Because that's one that I can say, for people that haven't watched it, I would say, binge that show. It was such an amazing piece of art, we would say. But always, respectfully, always in the losing category. Like never, always in the losing category. My friend Lou, he was one of the writers on news radio. And he would show up for the table read with a t-shirt that had the number of our rating on it. [2:05:07] up and the number was 88 and I was like 88 he's like I'm like fuck I was like god because we got moved nine times yeah the course of five years like I remember like one of the things that just like social media poisons people back then it was Variety and the Hollywood Reporter so all of the cast would be sitting around reading Variety about how good Sex and the City was doing and the single [2:05:37] and Seinfeld. And Paul Sims, the producer of NewsRadio, would call it a shit sandwich because you would have these two really good shows in between these shows that were not that good. [2:05:46] They would call it Caroline and the shitty and like everybody was upset. And so they would read these things in variety. They'd look at the ratings and they'd get all upset and start getting pissed off and that show sucks. Why is that show doing so well? Why aren't we on Thursday night? And I remember saying, oh, last time I checked, I'm on TV.

[2:06:06] I go, do you know we're on a TV show? Do you know how few people get to be on a sitcom? Yeah, we're not number one. Well, good. Then no one knows who we are and we get to be on TV and we get to have fun. And some people enjoy it. We're making so much money. Like, how can you be upset? [2:06:21] We could not be on TV. Like, yeah, we're not number one. Yeah, we have a really good show that's not being recognized. It eventually was recognized when it went to syndication. So news radio really only got popular in syndication. Oh, when it was on A&E, buddy... [2:06:35] I don't think I've ever enjoyed a TV show. Out of every TV show I've ever watched, and I was late to Friends. Look, it was no Game of Thrones, or even Queen of Dragons, or whatever the fuck, the other one, House of Dragons. Yeah. That's a pretty good show, too. But when I discovered news radio, I was like, you guys had everything. [2:06:53] Every... [2:06:54] character. It was not just one character. It was five different- Are we back? We're back. Okay. We've been having this problem where we crash a couple hours into a podcast. But it was such- It was five personalities, six personalities, all working- [2:07:14] In union – [2:07:16] Different at different speeds. It was really good. It was such a fucking great show. Paul Sims came from the Larry Sanders show. So he was really good, you know, and it was just a brilliant guy. And the writers were amazing and the cast was amazing. But it was the perfect scenario. So we went through without everyone getting famous. We put together a great show and then we fucking sailed off into the sunset. It was perfect for me because I never wanted to do it again once it was over.

[2:07:46] I thought maybe I'll make my own show and it'll be good. But working with these writers and like some of these writing teams – [2:07:53] It was really interesting. Writing teams are generally one brilliant guy and then the other guy who writes things down. And then they both get deals. And then I would wind up with the guy who wrote things down. So I got one of these writers who was a writing team on Seinfeld and the team broke up. And then I got this guy and he wrote this fucking script that was so bad. It was so bad. I couldn't believe how bad it was. I was like – and then they were trying to pretend they're excited about it. I go, did you read it? I go, this is fucking terrible. [2:08:23] from news radio, which is a really good show. And most of these shows are terrible. And most of the guys that I knew that were doing terrible sitcoms were living in hell because they were doing these like corny ass and all they wanted to do is like figure out a way to make themselves feel better. So they spend money or they party. And that's what they were doing. They were all just partying and spending money and not enjoying their work. Their work was terrible. It was hell. [2:08:47] So, [2:08:48] I kind of realized early on that this trap of like chasing the number one ratings and all that shit, it was just stupid. It was just nonsense. [2:08:58] And then, you know, Fear Factor was number one for a while, I think. I think it was. It was hugely popular, whatever it was. And that was weird, too. It was like, well, that's also strange. That was a game changer. People want to talk about it. It was just like this thing that was everywhere. It was very strange. This is how you can tell how big a show is. Tell me if I'm wrong. I can remember what night it aired. On Monday nights?

[2:09:19] Fear Factor? Was it Monday night? I don't remember. I think it was Monday. [2:09:23] I don't remember. I remember the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was Monday nights. [2:09:29] I remember Seinfeld was Thursdays, right? Yeah. That's the thing about TV now, which is so bizarre, is like... [2:09:39] When I pitched this show, have you seen Slow Horses? Yes. I love it. I love it. So when I went to Netflix, they were like, we want to do a show with you. I was like, great. And they're like, what's the show? I said, it's my family. It's I'm Bert Kreischer, George and Isla. [2:09:52] Leanne, I'm a comedian. I'm me. Everything's the same. Nothing changes. I don't have a job. I'm this guy. And they're like, okay. I go, but it's meet Slow Horses. [2:10:02] And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? I said... [2:10:05] All I can tell you is I don't want to do episodic. I want Slow Horses. I said when I watched Slow Horses, and this is why Ron's compliment was so kind, because I created the show so that me, Jared, and Andy, I should include them. Explain Slow Horses. Slow Horses is Gary Oldman. It is a spy thriller. They're a group of low-grade spies that all kind of got put into an office off to the side, but they don't realize how important their office still is. They're still very ingrained in all the shit that the big office is doing, but they're the B team. [2:10:35] So the big office is constantly fucking with the little office. So how is your show like Slow Horses? The day I watched Slow Horses, I'd watch Slow Horses. [2:10:42] the week before I went in for this meeting, and I watched the first episode of Slow Horses, and at the very end of that first episode, I hit pause, I looked at Leanne, I said, we're watching every fucking episode until it's over. Right now, we're not moving. We're going to watch all of them. And I did that with that and Black Doves, and I said to Netflix, I said, I want to make this...

[2:11:01] where that first episode is not episodic. The Chrysler's got a horse. The Chrysler's got a dog. It all goes together. I go the first episode at that last line I say. [2:11:10] The very last line of that first episode, I want you to look at the person you're with and go, I'm watching all fucking six. [2:11:15] and so it's an arc. It's a six-story arc. It's basically a two-hour and 30-minute movie that you can stop at any point, and the compliment I've been getting is the one Ron gave me. It's like I binged it. I watched all of it. That's great. That's a smart move for a comedy to do it like that, like it's one big story. [2:11:35] Black Doves is great, too. Black Doves. Great. Black Doves. Black Doves. When we did the premiere in L.A., [2:11:42] Netflix came up to me and shout out to Netflix and they were like, you know when you pitch this we had no idea what you were fucking selling us like when you said black doves and and slow horses like that those are your comps and then they were like we watched that first episode and they're like you fucking did it like you made a show where at that very end of that first episode at that moment. [2:12:02] And the very beginning of the second episode, I have a joke about you, but I thought I'd throw one in. You gave me a little love in your special. I gave you a little love back. And so at the very end of that first episode, I wanted it so that you go, oh, this guy's fucked. I got to see how he gets out of this. And, uh, and I, that's the, the compliment I've been getting from people is that they watched all of them. They binged it. And that's like, I was like, cause you know, you try to do something a little different and, uh, yeah. [2:12:30] And that's why when you said that, you didn't submit.

[2:12:34] I fucking connected so hard. So I was like, I, I didn't, I don't need it to be. It's not going to be the number one show on Netflix. It's never going to be the greatest show they ever made. There's too many good shows, but the fact that, [2:12:45] People have liked it. I go, I think I won. I think I got the thing I wanted. Yeah. It was just like, I got a text. I'm going to share this. And I apologize, Luke, if this sounds weird. [2:12:56] Luke Combs texted me last night. Now, he's not like a – he's not a social media guy. He just texted me. He's like, dude, I just watched your entire show. Luke Combs. And I'm like – He's cool as fuck. He's cool. I've hung out with that dude a few times. As fuck. And he's understated. He's the guy. He's fascinating to me because he's the guy – we just did a podcast. He's the guy that – [2:13:15] He goes into the room and he's not going to talk to anyone because he doesn't want to bother you. He's one of the biggest stars in country music. He's one of the most talented guys. Very humble. And he's very humble. And he's like, I did the CMAs and I saw him and he just, he stays to himself. He doesn't. And I was like, wow, what a slick dude. And he's like, no, I'm not trying to be slick. I just don't want to bother anybody. Yeah. And so when Luke Combs texted me last night. [2:13:36] I fucking, I texted Leanne. I was like, can you believe, like, that's not the guy you think. Right, right. [2:13:42] It's a real compliment. Not from a cheesy ass kisser. A real dude. He's not lying. He really liked it. The first person to text was Chris DiStefano. That's a real one. He's like, dude... [2:13:55] You're a good actor. This is a great series. That was the very first text I got. And I was like, comics don't have to text. They don't. We don't. Like, I texted Shane when I saw Tires. It was a game changer. I was like, this is fucking incredible, whatever. But...

[2:14:10] When a comic texts you're like, that's okay. [2:14:13] Like, I didn't expect you to watch it. But Luke Holmes fucking floored me. Luke Holmes and Bradley Cooper was another one. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. [2:14:43] Before it starts, there's also no long term contracts and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one of many reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. [2:15:13] That's half off at SimpliSafe.com. [2:15:33] inventory and returns, warehouse systems, and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week on fulfillment. ShipStation compares rates across all major global carriers, including USPS, UPS, and FedEx, plus your own discounted rates if you have them. To find you the best shipping option on every order with discounts up to 90% off,

[2:16:03] Trust ShipStation. Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JRE for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code JRE. That's awesome. Just do something that you enjoy and do your best at it. [2:16:33] Yeah. Like, fuck off. [2:16:36] Fuck off with your awards. Like, there's so many moments in history have been defined by these, like, goofy-ass awards. Yeah. Like, what? [2:16:45] What is that? [2:16:47] The only thing that's good is if something wins an Academy Award for Best Movie, I go, ooh, maybe I'll see it. Like, occasionally. But you know what's better than that? One of my friends sang. It's great. Dude. Or someone posting it on social media. Like, oh, this fucking – someone that I respect on social media posting it and saying, hey, you need to watch this. This is amazing. Great. Did you ever see the movie American Movie? [2:17:07] What is that? It's about the two guys in Wisconsin trying to make a horror film called Coven. [2:17:13] God, I think I did. Is it a long time ago? Long time ago. Documentary, and one guy's done way too much acid. And it's just, it's like one of those movies where someone says to you, you have to see this. And it's never going to win an award. Probably made no money. But it is the most fascinating. Okay, Jamie, can you pull the trailer up for that? If you see this, you'll go, I saw it. Okay. It's the American movie. Mike, oh, what was the other guy's? Oh, this is so good, Joe.

[2:17:43] passion and perseverance outweigh polish and dreams are both the driving force and the destination. [2:17:49] What if I told you this world exists? [2:17:51] Not in some far-flung fantasy, but here in the heartland of America. [2:17:56] This world is seen through the lens of an unsung documentary where we meet Mark Beauchamp, a young filmmaker from Wisconsin. [2:18:04] That's okay. [2:18:09] This movie is so good. But it's one of those things that it's like when you find something that you just fall in love with. Yeah. Like that you can't explain to someone. Like Vernon, Florida. Have you ever seen Vernon, Florida? Yeah. [2:18:23] No. It's a documentary by Werner Herzog about it was trying to him and another guy. Another guy did it. He was trying to do a documentary called Nub City. Right. It's about this place in Florida where a lot of people had lost limbs and were collecting insurance money. [2:18:36] And he went in to do a documentary about that. [2:18:40] And he got his life threatened. [2:18:42] But he had all this footage. [2:18:44] So I think Werner Herzog came in and dumped a little money in it, and he just made the bizarrest documentary about a guy talking about turkey hunting and another guy talking about – like it's like four different personalities, Joe. It's on YouTube. You can find it. Werner Herzog does some amazing shit. Amazing shit. This thing, Joe – [2:19:04] It's like something you start watching and you go like, I can't turn it off. I mean, he did Grizzly Man. He did fucking, what is that other one? The one about the cave paintings in France. He did. It was made by Errol Morris. Errol Morris. Oh, it wasn't Werner Herzog? No, no. I'm trying to highlight on there. It says it's an Errol Morris film. Oh, so it's not Werner Herzog. No, Werner Herzog backed it. He was the one that paid for it. Oh, I see. He produced it.

[2:19:30] He was also, Werner Herzog was a part of that movie Happy People. You ever see that? No, we saw that. Oh, my God. It's about these people that live in Siberia. These guys that live in a small village in Siberia, and they're just fishermen and trappers and hunters, and they basically just live off the land, and they're so happy. There's, like, no mental illness. Everybody works really hard. It's freezing cold at night. They're always drinking, and everyone's happy. Right. [2:19:57] Like – and it's called Happy People, Life in the Taiga. It's a great documentary because it just shows you that like without struggle, you will create struggle. And when you have struggle all the time, like physical struggle – [2:20:10] People seem to be satisfied and happy. [2:20:12] especially when they're living off the land, living like a subsistence lifestyle. They're out in the forest. They're catching fish. And it's, it's a great documentary. It's really interesting. Did you feel it? Cause I remember we went to a birthday party at your house and your wife introduced my girls and Leanne to chickens. [2:20:27] Mm-hmm. And Leanne. [2:20:29] And the girls. [2:20:30] Immediately got chickens. Chickens are awesome. The happiest my family was, out of all the times we've been happy, was when they had a garden and they were raising chickens. Yeah, that's good for you, man. And then that extra, like, did you guys clean out the chicken coop? You need to clean it. Like, that little... [2:20:45] Yeah, work. Yeah. Work's good for you. Yeah, especially work that pays off. Like you actually get eggs and you have to eat those eggs. Those eggs. And that's like the most karma-free food that you'll ever get because they're your pets. Like you treat them well. You feed them. You're like, hey, girls. I see them. I talk to them. They're like, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. I lift rocks for them so they go under the rocks and pick out bugs and worms and shit. And they come near you. They like waddle over to you and you like get, you ready? You ready?

[2:21:15] And then you get these delicious, healthy eggs. Best eggs I've ever had in my entire life. Yeah. Yellow. Yellow. Double. I remember getting orange. Do you remember double yolks? Mm-hmm. You get double yolks. Yeah. Fuck off. But you know exactly how they're raised. There's no cruelty involved. You know how they're fed. They lay an egg every day. That egg is never going to become a chicken. You never. Like, that's what I tell to all my friends that are like vegetarians that are doing it for. Like, they're just kind people. They don't want an animal to die. I'm like, you don't have to kill an animal. [2:21:45] Just eat eggs. Eggs have all the nutrients you need. Eat the yolk. Eat the whole thing. And you'll be super healthy. Like you can get all the animal protein you need from eggs, and you don't ever have to worry about an animal dying. So wait, do you think then when you talk about what was that, Happy City is it called? Happy People. Happy People. Do you think your connection then to crushing it in the gym and killing it in the gym is directly connected to that struggle situation? [2:22:10] The happiest I ever am is the second my workout's done and I lay back and I just sweat. [2:22:16] You did it. Oh. Yeah, you did it. Your body needs – I think in order for your body to survive like when we were hunter-gatherers, you had to do a bunch of work. So I think there's human reward systems that are built in us that if you don't meet those requirements, your body gets anxious. And the most anxiety-ridden, fucked-up, mentally ill people I know are these lazy slobs that are online all day complaining about people, especially comics.

[2:22:46] I know so many comics that they spend a giant chunk of their day shitting on other comics, and they're all fat and lazy. And what is that? Well, it's because they're not healthy. They're not mentally healthy, physically healthy. And so they're completely obsessed with other things. [2:23:01] external things. [2:23:03] When we did that Sober October Challenge, Tommy said it best because he was like, dude, when you work out, when we're all competing against each other to see who got the highest fitness scores – [2:23:13] Tommy said it best. When you work out all day, it kills all that internal chatter. You don't worry about things anymore. All that, what about this? What about that? That what about this? What about that shit is your mind thinking there's threats out there in the world because there used to be. Because you're programmed to think about what's out there, what's coming for me. Is there a neighboring tribe that's coming over the top of the hill? Where am I going to get my food? All that stuff is built in as a human reward system. [2:23:43] doom scrolling on tick tock and Twitter all day and shitting up your fuck Whitney Cummings and Miss Rachel was in here. There is mentally ill slobs, all of them, and their opinion should be dismissed. That's why the idea of awards is so ridiculous. Who are these people that are giving you awards? They're all unhealthy people for the most part. They're all weirdos that are caught up in this fucking bizarre. [2:24:10] strange industry that rewards groupthink. Like, fuck off.

[2:24:16] Yeah, that's probably the probably the happiest my mind was when we had the year we had the straps. [2:24:24] Remember we had that? Oh, yeah, yeah. We were a member of that Kansas City workout club or something. Yeah, the My Zone club. [2:24:31] The Mizone Fitness straps. And I remember, I mean, you know, like you have memories in your head where you drive by a place and you go... [2:24:40] I remember that. And it was one night. [2:24:42] I said I was going to run a marathon. And you're like, I'll match it. I remember we were all texting. And I remember getting up at like, it was like, put the girls to bed. It's 9 o'clock at night. And I go, I'm going to run until midnight. And I had just this one fucking mile loop. And I ran eight miles that night. And I just kept running. And I cannot run down fucking Colfax. I can't drive down Colfax without thinking of me just going one more lap. [2:25:08] Just one more lap. Yeah. [2:25:10] Those were fucking... [2:25:12] Wearing yourself out is good for your brain, man. It is really good for your brain. I don't think we should do that again because the problem with that is that lit up that weird part of my brain, that obsessive part of my brain. And my wife asked me never to do that again. She's like – [2:25:27] Because I was like super serious. I got like really into it. [2:25:31] And it just became an obsession. Yeah. It's just it's a it's a dangerous part of my own brain that I can't entertain too much. [2:25:40] Because I think that's the part of my brain that was formulated in my competition days where it was like my thought was – I would go to the – because I had keys to the school. So I'd go and train at 2 o'clock in the morning because I knew nobody else was.

[2:25:54] I knew everybody else was asleep. So I'd go there. I'd drive there by myself and unlock the doors and start training at 2 o'clock in the morning because I knew everybody was asleep. That made me feel better. Like, bitch, while you're sleeping, I'm in here. [2:26:06] Where did you put that competitiveness? Because I shelved my competitiveness. [2:26:11] I don't have it in comedy. I have... [2:26:13] competitiveness [2:26:15] with the industry that I felt ignored me at times. Like I want to prove things, like I did fully loaded 'cause I never got on Oddball. And so I created that festival. I remember I was with, we were at the Forest Hills [2:26:29] Arena or whatever the outdoor stadium someone's like wow, this is crazy. Can you believe you did this and I went yeah, I [2:26:35] And they're like, what made you want to do this? I go, because no one would ever invite me. [2:26:38] And then they were like, wow, that was more of an answer than we expected. But like, and so there's a competitiveness with me. [2:26:46] internally [2:26:47] But I was very competitive. [2:26:49] as an athlete. [2:26:51] unhealthy and it was gross. [2:26:53] How was it gross? Like, what sports? Anything I did. Anything I did. Well, I think that's Michael Jordan, right? When you're talking about Michael Jordan, he was the most healthy. Michael Jordan and Kelly Slater, the two ones, Tiger Woods, that I hear about and I identify with the way – [2:27:07] their brain works where I go, "Oh, I have that grossness." [2:27:10] where I create scenarios in my head to go, that's it. I'm going to fucking, I'd build up a rivalry with, I have a guy that I think about to this day who played baseball at Tampa Catholic. His name was Israel. And I had a competitive name. The guy didn't even know who the fuck I am.

[2:27:24] He never knew me. He was a pitcher. And I fucking... And I apologize, Israel, if you're hearing this right now. We were 16, and I had a competitiveness in my head. And my goal was to hit him, to hit a line drive right back in... And he was a pitcher. And he threw inside. And I crushed one off his kneecap. And they pulled him out of the game. And I stood on first base. And I was like, that's how it goes. [2:27:47] Israel's 53 years old right now. That was your drive? It was my fucking drive. Your drive is to hit him with a line drive? That's crazy. I was so competitive. [2:27:53] And so... [2:27:55] And when I got into stand-up, [2:27:58] Maybe because I just... [2:28:01] I saw that so many people were so far beyond me that I was like, well, I'm not playing their game, I guess. So I'm not I never had a competitiveness in stand up. Well, you can't. But you can listen. You could. There's a good place for competitiveness. I mean, I am competitive, no doubt, but I don't think about it in terms of like art. Yeah, I think my competition with either stand up or with podcasting. [2:28:25] is to be the best I can be, to do the best job I can. Like if I have a guy on and he wants to talk about some science stuff or something esoteric, I have to read his book or listen to the audio book. I have to read articles. I have to do my best. This guy is going to fly in here from Europe or whatever it is. [2:28:45] I have to be ready and I have to be intrigued. And the only reason why I have on the podcast in the first place is because I'm interested in it. [2:28:53] Thank you. [2:28:54] My thing is just do the best that I can. And the way that I can do it the best I can is only talk to people that I want to talk to. Only reach out to people that I'm actually interested in. Only accept invitations to someone that ignites my curiosity.

[2:29:07] And just only do it that way. Never say, oh, this person will be great because they're famous. Like that's one of the things you see about some of these podcasts that are doing well. All of their guests are famous. [2:29:17] Right. Which is like a built in cheat code. Like, let's see what this guy and I have famous people on all the time. If I think they're interesting, if I want to talk to them, but I pass on a lot of famous people because I'm not interested in them or because they were like really heavily pushing the vaccine during the pandemic. I'm like, fuck you forever. Right. [2:29:37] Fuck you. There's a few people that have tried to get on. I'm like, no, I would have before the pandemic, I would have been happy to have you on. But now I'm like, fuck you forever. You who knows how many people you caused to have heart attacks? Who knows how many people you tricked into getting that? And they had a stroke. Who knows? Who knows? And it didn't need it, especially the people that already got covid. You didn't know what you're talking about. And you just bootlicked. You bootlicked for the fucking for the man. Like, fuck you. [2:30:03] That's it. [2:30:07] Thank you. [2:30:07] Who is it? What do they want to talk about? So I just do my best. I'm competitive when it comes to playing pool, but really the pool, you're playing against yourself. You're playing another person and the other person is – but when you're playing, nobody can block you. Nobody gets in front of you. You're just trying to do your best. So it's all against you. All the competition is against you, which is why I like to work out by myself. I'm playing against me. It's me.

[2:30:37] inner bitches i'm trying to squash that motherfucker down beat his ass again and then he's back again tomorrow every time i lift the fucking lid on that cold punch my inner bitch is like don't do it you don't have to do this you could not do it and we'll be fine like the other day it was 22 degrees outside and i had to break the ice off of the top of the thing because it was like covered in ice i break the ice off because i got i could barely lift the lid off the fucking thing so i had to [2:31:07] you. And this is like, it's fucked you to the inner bitch. Dude, it's like when you said, like I remember doing an interview with a guy, I got a Netflix special coming out, I'm gonna go out on the road for the next couple weeks. And I was like, couple weeks. Couple weeks. Couple weeks, I'm gone. I'm not home for one month. One month out, I'm in my bus every night doing a stand-up, but 18 months out, I'm like obsessive. Yeah. I've got, I'm not shooting my next one until 2027, [2:31:37] Last night I was like, I tried all my new shit. I was like, I gotta find out if real people laugh at this. [2:31:42] You know, like, I mean, my fans, my fans, I think my fans are willing to give me an inch, you know? Well, they also know you. They know your story and all the references. Yeah. But what's crazy to me is, like, we were, me and you, not, I can't speak for the younger comics, but we were in a time at stand-up when competitiveness was the norm. [2:32:04] It was because of TV though, dude. That was what it was. It was like everybody thought they were competing for a very small amount of slots. And then what happened was the internet came along and we realized that no...

[2:32:16] In fact, we're actually an asset to each other because we do each other's podcast. We hang out with each other, which makes each other better. When we're all on a show together and you're killing and Tom's killing and Ari's killing, the more people are killing, the more we're going to do better because we're going to get excited about it. Yeah. And we'll be inspired. And so we became valuable to each other instead of competitive against each other. And if there was any competition that you were having with your friends, it was actually healthy competition because it just made you try harder. [2:32:46] if Ari went up and did like when Ari did his Jew special, which was fucking incredible. That special was so good. It made so many people get inspired to work on a theme and write and like really try to develop something like what he did. He just put together this fucking incredible special. Like it was really fucking good. And that kind of competition is healthy competition. It's inspirational. Instead of like saying, I hope that guy gets hit by a bus. Fuck him. [2:33:16] and are angry about comedians, they have one thing in common. [2:33:20] They're almost all failures. They're either failures or they're extremely mediocre. [2:33:26] They're in the middle of mediocrity. No one's got them as their favorite comedian. No one's got them as their favorite podcaster. No one's got them as anything. They just don't do that well. So what do they do? They're attacking people. So their competitiveness is a very unhealthy competitiveness. If their competitiveness was healthy, they would say, well, what is it about this person where she's getting all these comedy specials and she's in front of all these roasts? Why is Nikki Glaser doing so well and I'm not? Instead of hating on Nikki Glaser.

[2:33:55] But that's not what a narcissist does. Well, what about me? How come I ain't not getting that? She doesn't talk about sucking cock, that fucking bitch. And then they get all fucking angry. They start talking shit about her. Meanwhile, she still kills it. She's still on the road. She's still selling out. She's still getting out there. Everybody screams and cheers. Why? Because she put in the work. And if you put in the work and if you looked at yourself and you objectively analyzed what you're doing and said, why is this going well? [2:34:25] is but you're not so what are you doing you're on twitter every day for 12 hours like a fucking mental patient just shitting on people and getting in arguments and saying mean things like you're gonna just it's crabs in a bucket you're just trying to pull people down that are doing better than you where are you going get back down here [2:34:42] That's all it is. Yeah. It's unhealthy. That's why you can't read that stuff because you absorb the atmosphere of the people that you surround yourself with. [2:34:51] And like it or not, when you're interacting with people on social media, you are surrounding yourself with their thoughts. Yeah. You know, and they're unhealthy people that you would never hang out with in real life. And if you did, if you said, well, why do you think that way? And then they would say something like, that doesn't make any sense. This is why that doesn't make any sense. [2:35:10] And then they would run away and go talk shit about you on social media because they're cowards. Yeah. So you can't live in a world of cowards and mental ill people. You can't. [2:35:21] good for you. When I started hanging out [2:35:25] with

[2:35:25] The group I'm around now, right? I want to say it was you. You were saying, surround yourself with good people. And I remember reading a quote that week, and I butchered it. [2:35:37] But I said, if you hang out with enough great white sharks, people think you're a great white shark. Like, I just like, all they see is the fin. [2:35:45] And it's like, if I hang out with the best fucking comics in the world, [2:35:48] If I surround myself with the best comics in the world, I'm going to have to get better. Yes. Like, I'm going to get better. And I remember, I can tell you, like, the first time I saw your Caitlyn Jenner joke of the gargoyles. The demon. Yeah, and you're on the stool, and you've got the stool and the gargoyle. I remember watching that, crying, laughing, going, I'm not using the stage at all. [2:36:08] Like, I'm not using the stage. Like, God damn it. I remember Burr doing an act out. And I never expected Burr to do an act out. He was talking to an immigrant kid he hired that lived in the bushes, or that he adopted. He goes, someone says, I'm not going to live in the house. We're going to keep in the bushes. He said, come on, man. There's a reason you have bushes. But he was doing an act out. And I remember going like, God damn it, man. I don't ever do act outs. Like, I think I always... [2:36:31] Surround myself around better comics to see what the meal was being made and go like, well, shit, I'm just making french fries. You can turn that into a baked potato. Well, we don't exist in a vacuum. This is one of the things that I always say about comics. You never find the best comic in the country or one of the best comics in the country by themselves in Birmingham, Alabama. No. It doesn't exist. They're always in either New York, L.A., Austin. There's a few other places where you find out about someone really good.

[2:37:01] good because comedy is one of those things where you, you, you really only experience it live. Like when you see someone and doing a special, um, [2:37:11] Specials are great, but a special is like 60% of the real show. If you're there in the audience, you get 100% of the real show. You get hypnotized by the show. You get caught up in it. If the guys got it together, it's like really well pieced and timed and edited. It's so much fun. [2:37:29] You got to be there. And when you're at a club and you see Gillis and Ron White and we have the mothership, you have all these great comics. Man, the atmosphere is just uplifting. Everybody's inspired and exciting. And for people that are listening like, yeah, that's great for you guys. Be a fucking famous comedian. [2:37:50] You could do this with your friends. [2:37:52] Whatever you're doing. I don't care what you're doing. Whatever you're doing. If you guys are all pickleball players, just work hard to be the best fucking pickleball player. Hang out with other pickleball players. Talk about pickleball. Get involved in it. Push each other. Tell each other what you're doing that's making you better. Tell each other what are the different things you're doing that's enhancing your recovery or whatever the fuck. [2:38:12] you're into. Find other people that are also into it. Surround yourself with people that have a similar thing, and you all lift each other up. And you need the other voices. Because I think sometimes the best jokes you tell are like, [2:38:25] Like, you don't realize you're telling a joke, you don't realize it's a bit, and then someone goes, [2:38:30] Yo, man. [2:38:31] Like, I remember we were doing a new material night one night, and I got off stage, and you walked up to me and you go, did you really not know that Helen Keller and Anne Frank weren't the same person? And I was like, yeah, you should think they were the same person. Bro, did you, you know what I've been reading? That Helen Keller was a fraud? Yeah, okay, hold on. Let's start here, okay?

[2:38:48] So – [2:38:49] Okay. [2:38:51] I heard Stevie Wonder could see. [2:38:54] Okay. And there's footage of him doing seeing guy shit. Like what? Pull it up. There's all sorts of stuff and some very interesting stories people have told too. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Like there's a video. Boy, that's a great secret. To keep that secret for so long while you're still alive. Helen Keller's dead and it just leaked out in 2026. Dude. Dude. [2:39:14] Helen Keller, look. Her doctors were saying that she responded to stimuli, to sound, to visual, and then her writing was apparently all the same grammatical errors and spelling errors that her handler had. This goes back to Kabushay, Joe. [2:39:29] It's just like he says to me, you lost it all and you built it back. And I just Stevie wondered him. I'm like, I can't see me and Eddie Bravo were crying laughing because I was on the toilet when he called me. And I'm taking a shit. And he's like, did Burt Krasher lose everything? I'm like, what? What do you mean? He goes, he was on Shannon. I go, he didn't lose everything. And I go, I bet Shannon Sharp just said that. And I could see Burt totally just going with it. [2:39:59] And we were crying laughing. Eddie and I were crying. Like, why would you go with that? Why wouldn't you just tell him, tell you Bert wouldn't? He wouldn't even, but he was like, I don't know, Shannon. I just pulled myself back up and I just, I hit rock bottom. [2:40:16] He never hit rock bottom. He was never even in the middle. He was always doing great. That's what happened to Stevie Wonder. They were just like, hey, man, I heard you're blind. He's like, what? And someone's like, just go. Come on. This can't be real.

[2:40:29] Ray Charles is blind. Don't kill all my dreams. Ray Charles is really blind. I heard Ray Charles got a lot of pussy too. Stevie Wonder. You know why? Because he didn't care what it looked like. He didn't give a fuck. He just cared what it felt like. Did you smell good? Do you smell good? Can we fuck? I brought a blind guy on stage one time at Hartford, Connecticut. I was like, he was with a fucking smoking hot chick. He probably didn't even know. And I said, I go, dude, what a waste. And he was like, what? I go, you got a beautiful chick, but you could just, I mean, wouldn't a fat one feel better? Like, because you're all touch, right? [2:40:59] feel her face. And I went, what? She's gorgeous. And she was. Oh, you could feel her face. This is when I was young, and there were no rules in comedy, and no one had phones. [2:41:08] So I said, hey, man, come up on stage. I want you to feel people in the audience and rate them on a scale of one to ten. Oh, no. Fucking the confidence of these chicks. I'll do it. [2:41:17] Oh, boy. Feels her face. She's like, oh, four. And the crowd was like, this guy's good. He could have worked at a fair, Joe. I mean, he was so fucking good. He was so good. You have to have footage of Stevie Wonder shaking dude's hands. Come on. There's one where I saw where he comes up on stage and Stevie sticks his hand out to the side. And the guy's like, hey, what's up, Stevie? [2:41:37] There's [2:41:38] Yeah, but, I mean, he would hear people and know that they were to the side of him. I don't know. That's what I heard. But then that's what happened with Helen Keller is, right, the story – [2:41:47] Well, Helen Keller seems like it was fraud. It seems like she probably was visually impaired. Okay, when someone attempted to shake hands with Stevie Wonder. I pray this.

[2:42:00] Oh, that's a joke making fun of it. Okay, so not that one. Oh. But I did find, so there's a bunch of compilations of people, like this is from Drink Champs. These TV wonder stories keep getting wilder every time. Shut up. You ever had Drink Champs on? No. Let me hear some of this. [2:42:14] Stevie's not blind stories. Stevie Wonder me FaceTime. On everything I love, Stevie Wonder does FaceTime me. Come on, man! [2:42:24] I can't make this shit up. Come on. I was in there chilling with my, I was getting my hair done with my hair. And he's going to tell us a story. And my phone and my hair stylist like, did I say Stevie Wonder? I said, yep. [2:42:35] I went, "Poo!" [2:42:36] And he was like, "I've been looking for you!" [2:42:41] You know Snoop Dogg said Stevie Wonder FaceTimes him? [2:42:45] Yes, we got all kinds of stuff. Stevie FaceTimes me too. Oh my God. Oh my God. Think Stevie to see? Sometimes. What? Sometimes. Shack said he rode in the elevator with Stevie and Stevie pressed the button. [2:43:04] We lived in the same building on Wilshire. All right. I just need to describe this story. [2:43:15] So you say Stevie got off his car, Adolo? No, I haven't. [2:43:20] But he got on the elevator, Adolo. Okay. And I'm standing in the corner. I see him. I don't want to say anything. He's like, what up, Diesel? He got the floor, and I'm like. Shaq said he rode in the elevator with him. He didn't see.

[2:43:33] that he was in there. He just seen Stevie, like they lived in the same building. They both walked in. [2:43:39] And Shaq, because he didn't want to say that. [2:43:41] And Stevie's at when Shaq walked out. All right, later, Diesel. [2:43:46] Crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, what a great move that would be if he really did it. I think he's blind. No, here's the pitch. But what up, Diesel? First of all, the sound that he would make when he walks. [2:43:59] Like, Shaq is huge. He's an enormous person. So you'd probably realize there was an enormous man next to you. You'd have to feel it. Right. [2:44:08] I'll test it. Maybe he wears the same deodorant or cologne. Because dudes who can't see have amazing sense of smell. [2:44:17] Like, people smell differently. Yeah. You know, certain people smell different, I guess. I don't notice it because I can see them. But I guarantee you. Shaq does have his own deodorant. Yeah, there you go. No, he has his own deodorant. It's got Shaq's head on it, I think. He probably smelled Shaq's deodorant. I don't know. I'm just trying to be charitable. This is how I think it happened, right? Stevie Wonder goes on what? The Ed Sullivan Show of Five? [2:44:38] And, uh... [2:44:39] And he's probably hard. He probably can't see. He probably doesn't have 20, 20 vision. He's probably legally blind, right? Legally blind. Legally blind. Like he can see shit, but it's not great vision. And they're like, you know, this is little Stevie. And he's like, what's wrong with his eyes? We can't fucking put his eyes out like that. Give him sunglasses. And then the story got bigger than it was. I will say this. I will say this. Okay. I got video of this.

[2:45:05] This just proves that he might be blind. Okay. Liam was at a concert the other night. [2:45:09] This guy, Corey Henry, Stevie's favorite pianist. Leanne loves Corey Henry. She goes to the concert. She's sitting next to Stevie Wonder. She's a great singer. [2:45:16] And Stevie Wonder didn't stand. The whole place was standing. And Leanne was like, why isn't he standing? I go, because... [2:45:21] You only stand to see. [2:45:23] If you're blind, you're going to sit through the whole show. It's no different to you. Right. So I was like, and then I have video of Stevie Wonder sitting. But it's also convenient because who the fuck wants to stand for a show? [2:45:33] Yeah. [2:45:34] Helen Keller? The Helen Keller one's different. The Helen Keller one's... Because there's doctors that have said, like, there's... It was medical records at the time where people said she was responding to light. It says that there's... [2:45:47] That's not true. The Helen Keller thing? [2:45:49] Thank you. [2:45:50] Medical Board archives from 1902 to 1924 do not contain examination reports showing Helen Keller had functional vision and hearing. [2:45:58] Throughout a disabled life. And the conspiracy that Keller was a cash cow for Sullivan is debunked by the fact that Keller's full life continued with another companion, Polly Thompson, who also interpreted for her. That doesn't mean anything. That means that other person could be in on it as well. [2:46:14] Yeah. [2:46:15] That doesn't mean anything. Also, this is a time in 1919. I mean, come on. [2:46:19] How easy was a lie in 1919? 1902 to 1924. I mean, you could get away with so much. [2:46:25] So she supposedly flew a fucking plane? I told you she flew a fucking plane. Hold on. Yeah, this says it was from like a movie and there's no... Oh, the movie? She flew a plane in a movie? A silent film. She played herself. She played herself flying a plane? They just thought people were retarded back then. They're like, show her flying a plane. She's the best. She started the university. Nothing can hold her back. Why is it holding you back? She can't hear. She can't see. And she could talk and write books. Like, wait, what?

[2:46:51] Okay, that is this one article. But I've read things that said that the people that were examining her said that she responded to sound and that she responded to light. [2:47:05] Just because this one thing says it's not true doesn't mean that it's not true. Well, then here's the question. It's also we don't know. [2:47:12] This is 100 years ago. [2:47:13] We really don't know. How blind and deaf do you need to be before you say you're not blind and deaf? [2:47:19] Right. Well, the thing is, like, can you not hear anything? Can you not see anything? That's blind and that's deaf. Anything else is like I have poor hearing and poor sight. [2:47:28] Yeah, but that doesn't sell a fucking book. Right, but that's the problem. Like, maybe she could see a little. Maybe she said bad vision, and maybe she could talk a little. [2:47:37] Because otherwise how, I mean, explain to me how you're going to write books. Explain to me how you're going to grasp concepts and language and communication and interaction. Explain to me. [2:47:48] I don't get it. I've never met anybody since then that's been able to do it. Do any blind deaf people today write books and fly planes? [2:47:56] I don't know if she flew a plane. She's just in the plane. That's what it said. Oh, yeah. [2:47:59] She's in the front of the plane, and they usually flew in front of the back. I saw a blind guy in a plane once. I didn't think anything of it. I didn't think he flew. I almost got into a fight with a blind guy at the Austin airport. For what? Right after I did the show last time I was here. I was a little high. I went to the airport. [2:48:12] "'Little drunk?' [2:48:12] He was fighting with his wife, and he grabbed her by the back of the arm to leave. And I thought he was just grabbing by the back of the arm like a dick. And I was like, hey. And then he turned around and he had sunglasses on and a cane. And I realized that's the only way he could get to the gate. Look at Bert being a fucking white knight. I know.

[2:48:28] Stepping in fighting blind guys fuck that guy up. He didn't is so easy fight. I've ever been in Look on the black guy's face at TSA when I when I couldn't see that he was blind already and he grabbed his wife's arm And I went hey and the black I went oh shit like not knowing To a blind guy you were drunk. I was I was wasted so are there any people there any good articles that say Helen Keller could see I? [2:48:54] Now I asked perplexity, it said she was blind and deaf caused by [2:48:59] meningitis when she was 19 months old. Hmm. [2:49:02] Again, I wonder if she could see a little... [2:49:05] See a little and hear a little makes a lot more sense that you could write books. That's why I just stumbled across something that's – I don't know how true it is. It just says that somewhere in the – [2:49:14] along the way Stevie Wonder got some sort of corrective something or other to help. [2:49:19] Oh, so you can see a little bit? Death perception issues? What? That means you can see. [2:49:25] Stop lying to me. That's crazy. But he also – another thing says he's got detached retinas. Wait, did you ever see that? Oh, interesting. So he has damaged vision then. That sounds like damaged vision. Shortly after birth due to retinopathy of prematurity from being born prematurely, he's addressed his rumors persistently. [2:49:44] about being able to see [2:49:46] So it's a blessing. Allow them to see people's spirits, not their appearance. Ugh. [2:49:50] So this is the Instagram thing that I saw initially on Helen Keller. I'll send this to you. [2:49:56] I don't know. That's the...

[2:49:58] Yeah, you don't believe that, but you believe that bullshit article that you just pulled up. No, I'm just saying starting with social media isn't the best place. Listen, it's the best place for information. That's where I get all my information. Everything's accurate. You can start there. It's all real. It's all real. You ever told someone, yeah, I read a book about it. It was just an Instagram post. And they're like, a book? I think I saw the same post. Helen Keller was a fraud. Doctors proved she could see and hear. That's her? Her teacher made millions from the lie. It said, medical board, our cut. [2:50:27] Medical board archives from 1902 to 1924 allegedly contained examination reports suggesting Helen Keller retained partial vision and hearing throughout her life. [2:50:36] According to those claims, multiple physicians noted she reacted to sounds when Ann Sullivan was not present, tracked movement with her eyes, and physically flinched at loud noises. One sealed report said, [2:50:46] is said to conclude that her response is pointed to coordinated deception rather than true disability. [2:50:56] Sullivan reportedly refused independent testing. Aha. The theory argues that the situation became highly profitable. Sullivan allegedly discovered Keller at age seven, promoted a miraculous teaching breakthrough, and toured the country, charging the modern equivalent of thousands per appearance. Supporters of the claim say Keller's autobiography noticeably changed tone when Sullivan became ill, suggesting Sullivan authored both voices. [2:51:26] Thank you.

[2:51:43] That when Keller wrote without Sullivan present, the work appeared elementary, concluding that her eloquent public words came from Sullivan, not Keller. [2:51:52] According to the theory, disability organizations later built massive institutions around Keller's story. When evidence questioning her condition surfaced, it was allegedly suppressed due to... [2:52:03] to rather protect a lucrative charity online. [2:52:06] An inspiration-based industry that relied on a powerful symbolic figure. Lance Armstrong. [2:52:11] What do you mean? This is the whole thing, and people start coming at you, right? [2:52:20] It's like this is the time when the elephant man was big. Yeah, but Lance Armstrong won those races. And the thing about the Lance Armstrong thing is, you know, you could say Lance Armstrong cheated and he'll tell you he cheated. But the reality is... [2:52:32] everyone cheated. If you wanted to go back into the archives when he won Tour de France and figure out who didn't test positive, you had to go to 18th place. [2:52:43] Yeah. So they took away all his jerseys. By the way, fuck you, he says, because he still has all those jerseys on the wall. Bitch, you can't take them from me. You can say I didn't win, but everybody knows I won. And everybody knows he won when all those other guys were doping too. [2:53:13] listen, if you blow the whistle on Lance, we'll get you off the hook. And so then he would sue them. It would be a better story if Helen was more like Lance. And they're like, we got a tennis partner who says you play tennis with them, Helen. She's like, I'm going to sue you. And they're like, you're talking pretty good. She goes, I'm going to sue you. But this is around the time when the elephant man was big. So you'd grab onto something, right? You'd grab onto something like a sideshow. And you'd parade it around the country and make money. Especially that woman who's her handler. If that lady was responsible for all of her finances and had access to all that money,

[2:53:43] Ann Sullivan. That makes sense. That's how I mixed up Ann Frank and Ann Sullivan. That's how it came about. There's no link here. Shut up, Jamie. I just want to say. Stop ruining everything. You're right. There's no link there. There's not a single link to say. And people even ask, like, where are the links? And when you do some of this stuff. I like that one, though. I knew it. I knew it. I'm with that guy. Christian Harvey. I'm with that guy. I'm with that guy. I've been saying this for years. It just doesn't make sense that she'd be able to write so eloquently. Did you ever see. [2:54:12] Kevin Hart and Dr. Dre talking about Stevie Wonder? No. Pull this up. Kevin Hart, Dr. Dre. Because Dr. Dre is not... [2:54:20] I mean, like he's not, he never tries to be funny. [2:54:23] Right. And he is so fucking funny on accident on this clip. Talking about Stevie Wonder? Just Stevie Wonder, Dr. Dre, Kevin Hart. [2:54:32] album with marsha ambrosia right and we did some music a song using stevie wonder's music and he had to clear it and he called me up like okay for some reason stevie wonder calls you like super early in the morning like six seven in the morning or some shit i'm like just because you can't see the time the fuck like so true story i don't like the lyrics i don't like the lyrics look at kevin okay [2:55:02] Bye. [2:55:04] It's like Jessica.

[2:55:08] Stevie is three of them. [2:55:13] What the fuck is the difference? Like 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. is Stevie. [2:55:20] That's true. What's the difference? What's the difference? [2:55:23] That's true. Blind people have a really hard time sleeping. [2:55:26] I imagine, because it's dark all the time. Yeah. Yeah, their circadian rhythm's all fucked up, right? Yeah. They feel sunlight in their face, though, if they go outside. They have to. I do. They have to. Yeah, it probably feels really good. [2:55:37] Get that sun on your face. You're blind. Like, ah. You just don't feel the light. [2:55:42] Just feel the warmth. I bet you see it when you open your eyes a little bit. [2:55:46] Depends on your level of blindness, right? Some people could just see light. [2:55:50] Like a little bit of light? I would love that they made, like, blind glasses. Like, this is how blind you have to be to be considered blind. And you could just put them on and be like, okay, that's blind. Oh, like legally blind glasses? Yeah, yeah, legally blind glasses that we could all put on. [2:56:03] And then they're like, and that'd be cool if they made like versions. Like this is how blind Helen Keller was. And you put them on, you're like, oh, I can fucking see. [2:56:09] We don't know. I guess there's no way to find out. I'd like to believe that it was a fraud. I think that's fun. [2:56:14] I like to believe that people pull, but it's like Watergate. I like finding out. I got to get rid of that book now. Yeah. That fucking bums me out. That was my beard. Listen, you watch the episode that I did with Bill Murray. He fucking hated that book. [2:56:26] He said, yeah, after five pages, he was like, I knew it was bullshit. [2:56:30] Todd. Yeah. Bert, I love you to death. Joe, I love you. Tell everybody about your show. It's on Netflix right now. Free Bert, streaming on Netflix right now. Check it out. If you like it.

[2:56:39] Just enjoy it. Tell a friend. Boom, boom. 275 pounds in this. [2:56:44] Damn. You look like you lost a lot of weight. How much are you down to now? 40 pounds. 35 pounds. 45 pounds. And you haven't drank in how long? [2:56:52] Just 17 days. That's good. Yeah, I got another, I have a timer set. [2:56:57] Five months and 18 days. So at six months, you're going to have a drink? Yeah. Well, I got a second opinion. You know that, Joe. Okay. I'll see you in six months. I'll see you in my poor. I'll see you before. Are you coming tonight? Are you going to be around tonight? I'm trying to go spend time with Tom's kids. Oh, beautiful. I'm going to take him to dinner. Okay. Beautiful. Well, it's good luck getting Tommy on the phone these days. He's a busy boy. Yeah. Busy boy. Yeah, we're all busy, Tom. That dude's busy, though. No. He's kind of crazy busy. Yeah. I own a vodka company with him. Yeah. He opened up a restaurant. We have a 5K. You couldn't get him around our 5K, Joe? No. [2:57:27] LA? No. I don't go to LA. [2:57:30] When was the last time you were there? Uh... [2:57:34] I guess it was like [2:57:36] I went there for the UFC. [2:57:38] seven months ago or something like that yeah i don't go there anymore i la to me is like a just a bad relationship like that you like you run into a girl that used to be cool and now she's just a mess and you're like oh you don't miss anything about it nope [2:57:54] I'm good at moving on. [2:57:57] Thanks for having me on, Joe. I appreciate it. My pleasure, brother. I love you to death. All right. Bye, everybody.

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