#2429 - Tom Segura

[00:00] Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! [00:12] Is that hat your croissant company? Yeah. Bro, those croissants are a real fucking problem. They're the shit, aren't they? I was gonna eat one bite, this is what's left. I was like, I'll have a bite. They're so good, man. Too buttery. How can a guy lose as much weight as you lost and then open up a fucking bakery? Because I started with them when I was so fat. [00:30] perfect. Like I fell in love with that place when I was close to my fattest. And I was like, this is a match made in heaven. How big were you when you were your fattest? [00:37] The most I ever weighed was 265. [00:40] Holy shit. And what are you now? 187. That's insane. Yeah. So that's like what? 80 pounds? What does that feel like on your joints? It feels great. I feel so much better. I feel so much better. Of course. I'm lifting four days a week. Wow. Yeah. I just, I lifted this morning. Do you have a trainer? Do you go on solo? No. Yeah. It meets me there every day or every day that I'm. Do you do that for accountability? [01:01] You know, I just realized... [01:03] that [01:03] I mean, I've trained enough now where I can do a good workout on my own, but I always feel like it's never as good as when he's there. It's always – you know what I mean? Like it's always a little bit harder. [01:17] And I always feel like it's a better workout when he's there. Yeah. Yeah. He pushes me. Sean. Sean. [01:22] So you've been with him for a while? I've been with him for, yeah, for years. The other difference, the big difference, is that I've been – [01:28] I dialed in not with croissants, but I've dialed in my nutrition a lot more. Like I eat four times a day now. And I'm on top of my macros. You know what I mean? Things I've never done before. Why do you eat four times a day? This nutritionist just gave me this plan and I've been just doing it. Interesting. Yeah. So I eat 50 grams of protein at each of those four different meals. Okay. So I end up getting 200 grams. So you do smaller meals that are lower in calories but high in protein? Yeah.

[01:58] Thank you. [01:59] And then I also... [02:02] Carb cycle. So I know on a like if today was legs, I know that it's a more intense workout. I'll do the full portions of these carbs, right, which sometimes the sweet potatoes or white rice. But on a day, if I'm like, if it's a rest day, or I'm doing like, less intense workout, I'll dial back how much of those carbs I eat. [02:24] Hmm. Do you take a pre-workout? I have a pre-workout meal every time. So like in the morning – I've been getting up at 5.30. What? What the fuck are you doing, man? I mean because I've been in the writer's room on season two of Bad Thoughts. So I've been getting up at 5.30. [02:43] And my pre-workout meal are these like, I guess it's like mucly kind of like grains, you know, with... [02:50] with some honey, [02:51] a little bit of almond butter, and then I have [02:54] Greek yogurt [02:55] with a scoop of... [02:58] whey protein. So that's my pre-workout [03:01] And after that, I go to the gym. And then during the workout, I sometimes have like an intra-workout shake. Really? Sometimes I just – yeah, yeah. Wow. But, I mean, I feel much better doing it that way. I do. And then I eat again about an hour after that workout. [03:17] So that's my second question. [03:19] meal. Then a few hours later is three, and then my fourth one is like around six. So you have your second meal by the time it's like 8 a.m.? Maybe like... [03:28] 9.30. Yeah. That's so crazy. Yeah.

[03:30] What time are you going to bed at night? Well, that's the key to this whole fucking thing. That's the key to the whole thing. [03:37] is that you go, to do this, I got to do this. And to do that, I got to do that. And to do that, I got to get up early. And the only way I can get up early is, [03:44] is by... [03:45] staying on top of when I go to bed. You know, when we met, I was going to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning. Normal stuff. Yeah, and I would get up at like 11. Yeah, like a normal person. Like a normal person. And then I would say in the last decade... [03:57] a lot of my bedtime kind of shifted to like around midnight. And then it shifted to like a little bit like closer to 11. In the last few months, like sticking to this plan, I've started to go to bed sometimes at like 10, 10. [04:13] 10.30, which for me is like very early. It's very hard. It's the biggest challenge for me has been [04:21] to get to bed. That's hard for me. [04:23] That's hard. That would be hard. But I also – I don't think I'm going to be getting up at 5.30 forever. This is just writer's room stuff. This is just writer's room stuff. Normally you get up, what, 8? 7? Between 7 and 8. That's reasonable. That's reasonable. And I don't have to go to bed at 10 to do that. Yeah. When my kids are in school, I get up at 7-ish. [04:42] And then, yeah, usually between 7 and 7.15, depending on when they have to leave. And then when they're not in school like right now, today I got up at 8, which is pretty normal. 8 feels good. It's normal for me. I got up around 7.30 today. If I don't work out first thing in the morning, though... [04:59] It used to be I used to like working out at night because in jujitsu I'd always like doing at night. Morning classes were tough, tough to get in there early and train. And also you don't feel warmed up and you fucking feel like everything's going to get hurt. Yeah.

[05:13] But nighttime... [05:15] I can't work out anymore. I can't do that anymore. I've completely changed in this regard, too. I'm too busy. I used to say, well, I will say that, like, I feel like my strongest between, like, 11 and 1, like, the middle of the day is when I, if you were, like... [05:27] Draw up an ideal... [05:29] strength time, that's when I feel like I'm like, oh, that's when I'm at my best. Why do you think that is? I think you're – You woke up. Yeah, you woke up. You're fired up. You're warmed up. And you're ready to go. And I feel like – You had a little food. [05:40] I feel good, but I've pivoted to now really enjoying these first thing in the morning workouts where I feel like my whole day – [05:48] is set when I have those workouts. And I also realize that if I don't, I feel so much different throughout that day. Right. That's a good factor. One, you get that first big win in the morning. Yeah. You got it done. You got good momentum going, but also you're more calm. Yeah. That's the big one. That's the big one. And focused, right? When we did that Sober October thing, we were all doing crazy cardio. One thing you said to me that really rang true is like, it totally [06:18] chatter. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I think, [06:22] I think one thing about the writer's room is that [06:25] You have to be alert. You have to be focused. Right. You can't have all this shit like the noise going on. So it was a great way to show up to the room. It's like you have that win. You've done something hard, and now I'm ready to work. Yeah. For me, it's not just a hard workout, but generally it has to have some cardio in it. Really? Yeah. Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter. It is different than the weightlifting. Yeah. Weightlifting is great.

[06:55] Like you feel like energized. You feel like, oh, I feel good. But cardio is like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Like when I have a really hard cardio session, it's like, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what's going on. Everything's fine. I noticed the difference between, because I was doing 45 minutes. [07:10] Cardio sessions. [07:11] And when I upped it to an hour, the 15-minute difference for me was – [07:15] It felt like... [07:16] another hour. Like pushing it 15 more minutes was really, really hard. Well, that's when it's hardest when you're tired already. Yeah. You know, when you're extending your cardio capability, that's, that's fucking hard, man. That was hard. It's so important. [07:31] It's so important to do. Oh, yeah. It's everything. I wonder why so many people are out of their fucking minds. That's a big part of it. They don't work hard. I got so obsessed with some of these data and metrics about this. Uh-oh. Yeah, just like – That becomes a problem. Yeah, well, I don't mean that I have to – but just the – [07:48] the data [07:49] that people are talking about [07:51] as people age [07:53] of like if you're not lifting and your bone density goes down or like your VO2 Mac, like learning about that stuff and going like, [08:00] If you don't [08:02] start thinking about that at a certain age, one day it will be like so out of your grasp. I was just having this conversation with Shane Gillis. [08:10] I was like, you have to realize, like, 20 years goes by so fast, because I'm 20 years older than him. And I'm like, 20 years ago? [08:16] I, you like... [08:18] That happened. It was yesterday. Yeah. And all of a sudden I'm 58 and 20 years from now I'm 78. That's dead. Yeah. Like that's almost dead. Yeah. Like in and you can either be almost dead and look like RFK Jr. or you could be almost dead and look like Trump. Yeah.

[08:34] It's kind of the same thing. They're in the same neighborhood. And you have a choice. Trump's only seven or eight years older than RFK Jr. He doesn't look like it. [08:42] No. Yeah. [08:43] And that guy did heroin. This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor, thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is. [09:13] At the temp, load the grill and let Traeger handle the rest. Grilled steak, smoked ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills. [09:27] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. [09:57] with code rogan spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days that's code rogan in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 877-8-hope-and-wire text hope and why 467-369-21 and over new york only eligibility restrictions apply bonus bets expire seven days after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources cdkng.co slash audio limited time offer

[10:24] This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist and trust me, I know that. [10:50] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time. [11:20] best friend something every dog owner wants? The answer to that is yes, obviously. So try the Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food. [11:33] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. 14 fucking years. Who did? RFK Jr. He did heroin? Oh, yeah. After his dad was assassinated. He was a heroin addict? Yeah. [11:49] No shit. Yeah, when he was young. People give him a hard time about it. Like, hey, yo, his fucking dad got shot in front of him. Yeah. His dad, who was running for president, got assassinated. Yeah, that's horrible. When he was a little kid.

[12:04] Come on. [12:05] You wouldn't do heroin? You have no idea what you would do. And his uncle got shot in the head in front of the whole world. Yeah, I mean. Well, not in front of the whole world. It wasn't in front of the whole world until several years later, but. He looks incredible. He looks great. Yeah. Yeah. [12:17] He did 20 chin-ups in a row. I saw that. At 70 whatever the fuck he is. That's very impressive. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Modern science for the win. [12:26] Yeah. [12:26] I mean, yeah, I think about it all the time because I think the same way. 20 years goes by real fucking fast. Like that. It's so fast, dude, before you know it. It's like... [12:37] There's guys that never got going with their life or they got distracted with stupid shit and they never really focused on whatever it is they do with their careers. And then you see them 20 years later. They're in their late 40s and they're fucking scrambling and depressed. I'm friends with so many of them, dude. Oh, it's a problem. I'm friends with so many of them. I'm in that age pocket where it's like a lot of my friends are in that like – They never did anything. Yeah, and they're really scrambling. Yeah, and they're really desperate. [13:07] Which is like, hey, I can't fucking hold your hand. Exactly. You did this to yourself. Like you should have paid attention to what we were all doing all those years ago. It's unnerving, too, when some of them like I have friends who are like, you're like, dude, like we're in our 40s. Yeah. And you're and the thing is, the worst part about it is you realize how much of it is dictated by fear. [13:30] Like they're just scared to do things. It's like someone who's scared to step in the gym or something, right? You're just scared to take that step to do something. Scared to be uncomfortable is what it is. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like most people are scared to be uncomfortable, so they're scared to sit down in front of their computer and write. They don't write.

[13:48] Because they're scared to be – the writing thing is the weirdest one. Fear of the unknown. Because I don't understand why that's even uncomfortable. But it is. I get it. It is. I avoid it sometimes. I come home and I'm like, I really should write. But I could watch YouTube. Yeah. And then I'll fucking sit in front of the TV. I'm like, I earned this. Yeah. And then I'll watch YouTube. Anything to not do it. Uh-huh. You look for distractions. The nights that I come home and I write, though, I always feel way better. I feel better going to bed and I feel better getting up. I'm like, I did what I was supposed to do. Yeah. [14:18] Yay, everything's going good. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. When I just watched some fucking random YouTube video on ancient history, it's like... [14:26] Why am I falling asleep at 2 in the morning and forcing myself to finish this fucking hour and 50-minute documentary on Syria? I do it fucking all the time. I'm like, here's another murder doc. I'll just watch this. I don't watch those. Oh, my God. It's all I watch. Do you know what I found out, too? I found it in the writer's room, and I didn't realize this until I talked it out. We were talking about... [14:47] Um, [14:48] Because sometimes you're like, what about [14:50] this idea. Right. And someone will be like, well, you know, on that episode of like, [14:55] 30 Rock or something. And I'll be like, oh, I never saw that. And they go, you never saw 30 Rock? [14:59] And I'm like, no. [15:00] And then they go, oh, well, you know, like on The Office, I never watched The Office. They go, you didn't watch The Office? And then I started talking. I was like, oh, I've never watched any of these shows. And they're like, what? And I go, yeah, I guess I just don't like comedy. [15:14] And they're like, what are you talking about? I was like, dude, I've never seen The Office, 30 Rock.

[15:19] Sunny, all like the huge comedies of the last 20 years. I've never seen them. I haven't seen them either. And I'm like, well, I go my ration, my thinking is not that I don't like comedy. It's that it's like. [15:31] You know, I'm on stage all the time. I'm doing comedy. My friends are comedians. We're talking comedy. When I get home and I want to watch something, I don't want to watch that. I want to watch something else. Exactly. That's exactly how I think of it. [15:42] I want to watch dramas, thrillers. Something's interesting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Stranger Things. So I just end up never, and they're like, this is pretty crazy, though. You're in a room of comedy writers, and you've never watched an episode of comedy. I'm like, yeah, I guess that is kind of weird. I watched them when I was on one. Yeah. I watched other sitcoms to see what they were doing differently. Yeah, sure. Because it was kind of a new thing for me. Yeah, that makes sense. But after I was off news radio, I swore off sitcoms, too. But then I did start watching some of them with my family. [16:12] - The one I watched that I really used to shit on, [16:15] And I was wrong. It's the Big Bang Theory. [16:18] Really? It's a fucking good show, man. I mean, it was a massive hit. I was like, how is this stupid show a massive hit? But it was because I had seen clips online that were like retakes that they did without the laugh track. But if you ever worked on a sitcom, you know what retakes are. Retakes are brutal. You didn't get it right, or the writers decided to change something. For whatever reason, you do a bunch of them after the audience leaves. So I saw those without the laugh track, and I was like, what is this? This is weird. This is not funny. This is terrible. [16:48] I'm like, what is this mundane, boring, fucking drone you to sleep? Then I watched the show, the actual show itself. I was like, oh, this is a really well-written sitcom. Yeah. And it's interesting because the main guy is autistic, and he's totally socially retarded. Yeah. And it's funny, though, but it's all about nerds. It's a good show. It's a solid show. Yeah, I mean, something that has that...

[17:10] Something gets that popular. Yeah. This has to have something. But that's stuff that I watch with my family. There's certain shows that I only watch with my family. Really? Yeah, that's one of them. You know what just happened with our kids? Yeah. [17:22] They, um... [17:24] They had their movies that they always watched. And little kids have just a capacity to re-watch the shit. Oh, yeah. You're like, Jesus Christ. I watched Frozen like 80 times. Oh, my God. So many fucking times we watched these things. Let it go. We watched Home Alone a fucking 140 that time, right? Which I think a lot of people do. But then all of a sudden we were like, oh, here's The Simpsons. And what we did was we started with episode one. [17:48] of The Simpsons. Oh, wow. And what I was so surprised by... [17:52] because I was taken by just how good... [17:56] The old one, like we're watching like season one, season two, like the really old ones where everything, where it took 18 months to produce an episode. Right. You know, they had to hand draw everything. The writing and the jokes in them are so good and so funny. And I'm watching these little dudes like get the jokes and it's really funny. I mean, it's really good. But we start from the beginning. How many episodes, is The Simpsons still on the air, right? I think so. It's like season fucking 42 or some shit. That is so wild. And no one gets old. No. Right. [18:26] Because the characters are just cartoons. And now they can do them timely because of technology. So now they can produce it in a week or something. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Because they don't have to hand draw everything. Well, didn't they farm it all out to fucking South America or some shit? I think so. I'm sure. Yeah, I think they did. There's some Indian group. I think they taught some Asian people how to draw. How to do it. Yeah. I mean, there's something also that you appreciate about the old animation that's cool. It's clunky. Yeah. It doesn't exist.

[18:56] it's still it's so funny like the first south park the first south park was super clunky yeah what would brian boitano do yeah yeah yeah and then they also embraced that it's supposed to look this certain way right like they that whole thing was like it's it was they embrace that like the look is not like slick right yeah i mean it's also you can get away with so much more when it's not even remotely realistic yeah like the time that gay teacher stuffed paris hilton up his ass [19:26] do that on any other show imagine if you said we're gonna do um south park but with cgi and real people they're like what the fuck are you talking about what are you talking about kenny's gonna die in every episode violently and everyone's gonna laugh yeah what no yeah what his brain splattered all over the concrete yeah oh my god you killed kenny kenny what yeah it has to be no it has to be fake fake yeah yeah and it has to be fake kids [19:49] Totally. Because kids are kind of, they bounce off stuff. They get hurt. It's kind of funny. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they just fucking, they don't get hurt as easy. When they get hurt, it's like not that big a deal. They bang into things. Whereas an old person falls in the bathtub, they break a hip, and they're dead in the ear. My youngest, like, slow falls all the time. And we're like, what the fuck is going on? And he's never hurt. He's practicing. Yeah, he's just like, and he tumbles. Yeah, well, they're fucking made out of, like, they're flexible. Yeah. They're all pliable and shit. Yeah, the way they, even like. [20:19] the way that kid can sit. And you're like, how are your legs doing that? Yeah. After a while, shit gets stiff. It gets real stiff. Do you ever do any yoga? I did. I haven't in a while. Well, remember when we did it? I do. That was our first challenge, right? I do. And that was awesome. And then...

[20:32] A year or two ago, I started doing some yoga here, and it was so challenging. I was like, fuck, this is really hard. Was it the same kind or different? Just like, no. It wasn't a hot yoga. It was just like you're going through all the positions. I don't know how to even describe it. Poses? Yeah, all the poses. And I was like, man, I was shaking in certain poses, and it was really challenging. And I have not done it in a while. I probably should do it again. Was it the same kind of yoga, though? Were the poses different? [21:02] Same kind of poses. Same shit? Yeah, just not hot. Hot's the way to go. Hot's rad. Yeah. It's harder. It is. I remember I did do a hot yoga here in Austin like in July. I was like, this isn't much different than outside right now. And I remember like feeling so... [21:20] relieved when I saw somebody tap out of the room before me. I was like, I can't tap out first. Just watching people and some guys like, I got to get out. I was like, all right, I'm going to get out of here in a minute. [21:30] Holiday football has arrived. The regular season's wrapping up. The playoffs are on deck, and every win matters more. With DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, the unexpected can turn game day into payday. From fierce rivalries to playoff pushes, nothing beats football this time of year. First touchdown, anytime TD, live bets. When your team scores, you score.

[22:00] you still get paid in cash. With DraftKings, you're protected through the entire first half. Why bet anywhere else? New customers bet just $5, and if your bet wins, you'll get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code ROGAN. That's code ROGAN, bet $5, and win $200 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. [22:30] Text HOPENY 467369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call [redacted phone] or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass through if per wager tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyd in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. Limited time offer. [22:58] I remember the first time I did it, I was like, I can't believe how hard this is. I can't believe all these little old ladies are walking into this thing with this rolled up foam mat. And I'm like, you guys think you're working out. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're working out way harder than me. I was literally getting strangled and it was easier. [23:15] I was going to jujitsu and I was getting fucking armbarred and that was easier than going and fucking stretching my feet out with these little old ladies. And seeing how these mothers – you'll see somebody who's physicality is not that – they look fit, let's say, but you're not like, holy shit, look at this person. Right, right. And the way that they're holding themselves –

[23:36] up on their hands and their whole body's sitting on, you know what I mean? Like their knees are on their elbows. And you're like, how the fuck are you holding yourself like this? Yeah. Very impressive. It's a weird, it's an impressive thing that you only know it's impressive when you try to do it. This is why I have this theory that everybody should try things like... [23:55] that jujitsu [23:57] a boxing class, even if you go one time, just once. Right. To have – just so you have an idea of what you don't know. Right. You know what I mean? Because, like, every dude thinks he can fight. Right. You know? And I'm like, I know – [24:10] Thank you. [24:11] My limits... [24:12] so much in that regard because I've been in classes. I've done classes. So I know so much. I'm not an expert, but I know how much I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've rolled on, I've done jujitsu classes. I've done boxing classes. And I'm like, oh, [24:27] These guys can fucking kill me. But you don't know that before you do it. You don't know how hard that shit is. [24:35] Boxing is a funny one because people think... [24:38] They're like, I can throw a punch. You're like, you don't even have the fundamentals of how to throw a punch. You don't even know how to throw a punch technically. Not only that, how many can you throw before you're totally exhausted? The exhaustion is real crazy. How many have you got in your tank? You got 10? 10 punches? A lot of people throw haymakers and they think they're throwing it. You're like, that's not even a punch. Well, it is if it lands. I guess, but it's definitely not a punch that would... [25:03] would really have that much of an effect on somebody who knows what they're doing. I mean, you could probably land that on someone who also doesn't fight. You can land a lot of things on people if they don't know you're going to punch them. Yeah. That's why sucker punches work. Yeah. Whenever I used to teach martial arts, one of the first things I would tell people is you have to realize that action is so much faster than reaction.

[25:23] So the reason why a sucker punch works... [25:26] It's because you have no idea that this person is going to do it. Yeah. And then by the time they're doing it, it's too late. It's too late for you. You don't react in time. Yeah. That's why people get punched like that. You can't – I'm like you can't ever let anybody get close enough. You can't ever let anybody that's threatening you get in a position where they think – like you think that they could hit you and you don't know it's coming. Right. Because it can happen too fast. So that's why you got to – you have to have your awareness to – [25:49] That somebody approaching you is already a threat. 100%. Yeah. Like, remember the time I got in that stupid thing on Fear Factor? Yes. With that guy? Yeah, yeah. That was 100% my thought process. Like, this guy could punch me at any second. Yeah. [26:01] So you have to act. Yeah, I had to grab them. But it was one of those moments where I was like, all right, this is a very angry person that's already irrational. What's most irrational? Sucker punching the host. Yeah. And also, this is like, you got to think of reality TV. What is everyone trying to do? Everyone's trying to go viral. They're all trying to have a clip that gets played over and over again. They're all trying to get everybody to watch the show. So they're all acting in the most outrageous way possible. Yeah.

[26:31] It's been like poison in our civility, in our culture. The way people communicate, the way people view famous people is totally different now. Because you used to be famous because you were Amy Winehouse. Like, oh, I love your music. Now you're just famous for whatever the fuck reason. You could be famous for just acting a fool. Like just being a complete dipshit. Yeah, being some guy who's famous for stealing people's hats. Yeah. Just run up and grab people's hats everywhere. That's your TikTok. [27:01] They're at like a Home Depot. Speaking of which, did you see what Andre Arlovsky got into it with these fucking influencers? I bet they didn't know who he is. [27:12] Yes, I did see a clip of that. Yeah, I bet they didn't know who he is. They started fucking with former UFC heavyweight champion Andre Arlovsky. Yeah, not a good move. First of all, he's fucking gigantic. Yeah. And he's one of the baddest motherfuckers ever. Yeah. That guy just recently retired from the UFC. Yeah. Or was released, I should say. He's not even done fighting. He started fighting. He won the UFC title, I think, in 2005. Yeah. [27:37] That's 20 fucking years ago. And the guy was still beating people that are like elite fighters just a few years ago. And that's who you go pick on? You go pick on that guy. Good luck. I think he beat Travis Brown in like 2016 or 17. Travis Brown was super legit, real dangerous. Yeah. Arlovsky was a bad motherfucker, dude. I went to a Travis Brown fight once with you. Travis Brown was a bad motherfucker.

[28:07] People look at the clinch because he elbowed so many people into oblivion. If you got a hold of a single on that guy and your head was right there or a double anything where you're trying to take him down against the cage and your head is right there. That fucking dude. Boom. Yeah. We literally called them Travis Brown elbows. They're. [28:26] Because everybody does it, but Travis Brown did it better than anybody. That and those... [28:31] Those forearm shots that people take, you're like, oh. Yeah, it's brutal. It's such a brutal sport. [28:37] It's so crazy. That is so fucking crazy. [28:40] Yeah, I would not fuck with somebody. I mean, I don't fuck with anybody. But like, if I saw that guy, I'd be the last guy to be like, oh, so many people out there in the world now know how to fight. When I was a kid, almost no one knew how to fight. There was like wrestlers never fuck with wrestlers. And there was like, oh, the guy, he's golden gloves boxer. I don't fuck with him. Yeah, like everybody knew who you couldn't couldn't fuck with. [29:00] Now everybody knows something. And kids, they learn just by – they'll watch a Charles Oliveira fight and they'll practice in their fucking living room. And next thing you know, they know how to do a real triangle. Yeah. Like you can watch a lot of shit on YouTube videos and learn without even taking classes. And kids are like learning. Yeah. Some athletic kids, like a kid that maybe is really good at baseball, really good at soccer or something like that. You teach him some moves pretty quick and he's going to know how to deliver it. My oldest does it twice a week and he's been – he's an athletic kid. [29:30] got some proficiency and he keeps moving up you know and he's gonna kill you well he'll you're gonna have to start we also start we fuck around because he's two little boys this dude will immediately like go just put me in an arm bar and i'm like yo and i'm like and the only thing that like saves me is that i'm still so much bigger right you know and and stronger but i'm like you might have to start taking classes or he's not gonna listen the clock is ticking when he's

[30:00] Well, that's also a weird problem too because all of a sudden you can do things to men. [30:05] Like I remember thinking that when I was like 16, 16, 17 when I was competing. Yeah. [30:11] All of a sudden, I could beat men up. I was like, this is crazy. This is crazy, yeah. Yeah, this is weird. Yeah, I have the skills. All my life, men were terrifying. [30:18] Like men get angry. Men will hit you. Run. Run from the men. And now I'm like, oh, fuck this grown ass man up. It was crazy. It was a crazy transition. I can see his wheels turning, dude. Right. So he's going to know he can do it now. So he's going to want to do it. Come on, dad. Yeah. Come on, dad. Come on, dad. What are you going to do, dad? Yeah. Like you're fucking grounded. Fuck you. I'm not grounded. I'll choke you out. Like what? I know. You're in the fucking hallway. You can't even get away. Yeah. And he's 17 now. He probably weighs a buck, 80. And they. Kind of ripped. He's got abs. [30:48] They get embarrassed. Oh, yeah. They call us and they're like, hey, he's really good. [30:52] They're like, he's really got a skill at this. Well, jujitsu is athleticism is massive, but also intelligence. It's hard to be dumb and get really good at jujitsu. He's a smart kid. The other thing that's very different, and I think you see this when you have more than one kid. You have two kids or more. You start to see that like, oh, some qualities in people's personalities are innate qualities, right? Yes. Especially because you have your one. [31:22] like. Then you're like, oh, the other kid's not like this. They have these other qualities. Right. And one thing about him [31:27] that you just [31:28] pick up on by being his parent is he's like he's very competitive very very competitive and so he's intelligent he's competitive and he's athletic and so you go like oh yeah he's he's just very driven you know but he should probably compete because when you're young if you learn how to compete when you're young oh my god it has so many benefits for the rest of your life because it's so scary and then you overcome it and if you could become successful at it you kind of feel like you could

[31:58] Exactly. Get him in tournaments, man. He got into running. Oh, boy. So, like, a couple years ago... [32:05] I was getting ready. We were going to do a 5K. I was way out of shape. I was like, I got to start running. [32:10] So the first thing I did is I ran a mile. [32:13] and [32:14] He tried to run with, I mean, he was like, you know, let's say like seven years old or something. [32:20] I ran the mile in like... [32:22] I don't know, 930. I mean, I was dying, right? I was like, fucking hell, my God. He couldn't quite keep up with me in this one-mile run. He's a seven-year-old kid. [32:32] This year, he ran two miles in 12.38. Whoa. So he ran six and a... [32:39] Because he didn't like the fact that he wasn't good at running? He would get up and be like, I'm going to go train. I'm like, okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. You got a psycho. He's a psycho. He's a psycho. He's running up hills and shit. He's like, come with me so I have an adult with me. [32:54] He's just running up and down this hill over and over and over. Yeah, he's like very – but it's not me going, you've got to go run. Right. It's inside his head. It's in his head. Wow. Yeah. If I was a coach, I'd be like, get that kid young. Yeah. Grab him. Grab him. That's what we want. Yeah, yeah. What you want is an intelligent psycho. Mm-hmm. You know, intelligent, driven, hyper-competitive psycho. Hyper-competitive. The other kid, my youngest, will walk up a flight of stairs. He goes, my legs hurt. [33:20] I'm like, what? He goes, I want to go rest. I'm like, we just walked up a fucking flight of stairs. He's like, I know, but my legs are killing me. Like, it's completely different. It's so funny that that is such the case. Yeah. It's such the case. It's interesting because there is this thought of, like, what a personality is. Like, where does it all come from? It's like a combination of so many different things.

[33:40] It's a combination of nature, nurture, genetics... [33:43] It's everything. You're right. And it's also being exposed to things that bring that out of you. Yes. You know what I mean? Like imagine if he had never been exposed to the running, never done jujitsu, never done anything. Then what happens to that? Yeah. Yeah. [33:55] The other kid, he's like... [33:58] You can tell he has... [34:00] He has like a comedian's... [34:03] mindset. He's a complainer. Every funny person complains. The other day, I was in the writer's [34:13] I ate something and I was in the writer's room, but my stomach was fucking me up all day. I was on the toilet. It was brutal to get through the day. It's all the macros. I get home and he's in my room watching TV. [34:28] And I lay down and I go, hey, can you turn that off? [34:30] Because like... [34:32] I want to rest. Like my stomach is bothering me. [34:35] And he goes, oh, you want to snooze? [34:39] How old is he? Seven. [34:42] He goes, you want to snooze? He goes, I almost fucking threw up today. What? He goes, yeah, my stomach's... I go, dude, I've been on the toilet for like three hours. Please. And he goes, all right, why don't you have your little snooze? I'll go out here. He's like very animated, you know? That's hilarious. And then he saw me wear a suit. [35:00] This is insane. He told me to wear a suit. And I'm like walking out of the house and he goes, "Hey, [35:05] I go, what? He goes, where's my suit? [35:07] And I go, what?

[35:11] And then I'm not kidding you. He goes, I look like a fucking asshole. [35:15] I go, what are you talking about? He goes, you're in a suit. I look like an asshole. He goes, get me a suit. And I go, you don't need a suit. And he goes, yes, I do. Why do you get to look like that? I look like a fucking asshole. I was like, all right, bro. He's always, you know what I mean? He's always like complaining. That's hilarious. He's complaining. And it's just funny. [35:37] amazing sitcom scene. I know. If you had a kid like that, I'd look like a fucking asshole. That would be an amazing scene. We call him Joe Pesci. Because he's always talking like that. He's always bothered. He's always hot. And you're like, this is not a big deal, man. He's like, yes, it is. [35:56] That's hilarious. Yeah, he's just fired up about shit. That's hilarious. That's so funny. But that's also in him. Right. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. It's part of his personality. Yeah. Yeah. [36:05] It's weird. It's like kids get something from you, right? They get some genetics. And then they kind of get whatever that gift the universe gives. Totally. Whereas, like, that kid's not like either one of us. Like, where'd you come from? Christina thinks that every time he's like... [36:20] fired up about something. I'm like, look at this kid. She goes, that is... [36:24] You. [36:26] I'm like, no. And she goes, yes. Well, you have a little of that in you. Yeah. You definitely do. I remember one of the most impressive things about our Sober October thing was you got the flu. And so you were out of it for like a couple of days. Yeah. And so the moment you got back where you felt good, you ran like 15 miles. In a day. Yeah, yeah.

[36:48] Bro, we were all going nuts. Yeah, because I was like, I can't be like... [36:52] dead dead last you know i mean like i was like i just can't i was in the gym at the old studio with ari and ari uh he's like can i use your gym i'm like of course [37:02] He's like, after the podcast, I'm going to work out. I've got to get my numbers in. And so I was hanging out with him while he was rowing, and he's got a fucking six-pack. Yeah. I was like, this is crazy. I go, Ari, you have a six-pack now. I go, you're ripped. Yeah. I go, you look great. He's like, oh, thanks. [37:16] And he was just fucking rowing. He rowed for a full hour, man. With a chest strap on. Like racking up his numbers. It was the same voice in his head going, don't be dead last. [37:25] We all knew your crazy ass was going to be going totally psycho. So we were just like, we can't be dead last of the rest of us. Ari was trying to beat me. Yeah. 100%. I know he was. [37:37] Yeah, but you were like pissing blood. We were like, this guy's a little too crazy. Well, I decided one day to just like take it to like the – I wanted to see like what can I do? [37:48] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. Yes, that means you in New York.

[38:18] With code ROGAN, spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days. That's code ROGAN in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. [38:45] Let's talk about Service Titan. Over 10,000 contractors already run their businesses on Service Titan. Now they're building an AI trained on real trades workflows. This isn't generic AI. This is AI built specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls, helping run your back office, and growing your revenue automatically. Every other industry is still trying to figure out AI. [39:15] The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. That was the day I did seven hours of cardio. I think. I'd set off my alarm in my gym from my sweat. Jesus. I set off the fire alarm. From just being so hot. Yeah, there's a video of it. There's a video on Instagram of the puddles on the ground are the most preposterous thing. I sweat puddles. I think your wife too, right? You can't do this anymore. [39:45] He's like, what are you doing? Like, you're not spending any time with your family. You're just, like, so obsessed with this thing. It's like I –

[39:52] I re-met an old friend. Yeah. That's what it was like for me. It was like, oh, I forgot that guy's in there. Yeah. [39:59] I don't necessarily like that guy. Yeah. He scares me. It's like I don't like something – scares me not being dramatic. This is what it is. That that could derail your life completely. [40:11] So that obsession could take over again? [40:15] with something, with anything, and then I won't be doing anything but that thing. That's one of the reasons why I like to do a lot of stuff. [40:22] It's because I don't want... One obsession. Yeah, I don't want that one... Yeah. That brain to focus on... It's not good for mental health. I know. It's really good for success. Like, if you're really going to get... [40:33] really good at one thing, that's the thing. But for overall happiness, I don't find that to be appealing. I don't like that feeling. Like that sober October feeling was kind of crazy. This is kind of why I feel like I... [40:46] I'm trying to embrace a lifestyle that's accessible, but not dramatic. - Yes. - Like I could go and go, I'm gonna do, [40:55] two and a half hours at the gym every day. Right. And I'm sure my results would show. Right. I want to look like Iron Man or whoever. But my problem is like – I don't want to look like Iron Man. It's like not – that doesn't feel like – I'm going to run out at some point and be like, this is unsustainable. [41:11] So I'd rather – It's going to take from your other things. Yeah, exactly. I got to do it where like I'll do an hour and change of training and then try to dial in eating and like that's – you can keep that. Yes. That's sustainable. Right, exactly. Exactly.

[41:26] Yeah. Um, [41:27] But it's like, what are you trying? It depends on what you're trying to do. So like we both have families. We both have a lot. You know, there's a lot of people in our lives. You can't just be a maniac and focus on one thing. You can't. [41:38] 10 hours. Like Gordon Ryan, that's his Abu Dhabi belt up there. Oh, yeah. That guy trains 365 days a year. Yeah. He doesn't take... [41:47] Fuck you for Christmas. Fuck you for your birthday. Oh, it's Easter. Fuck you. Yeah. Well, that's how he became the best of all time. Like if you really want to do something. That's the sacrifice. But he doesn't have kids. He's not married. He's only, you know, now he's 30. But he did all this when he was in his mid-20s. That's also the age to be that obsessed with something. Exactly. Especially if you want to do this one thing that everybody else is working really hard to. You've got to figure out how to separate yourself. [42:17] You have 200 miles to run, and you take time, and you're running, and you're running at a really good pace, maybe even a faster pace than other people, but then you take naps. [42:28] You take a nap for an hour or two hours or three hours. And then you say, look, it'll be better this way. And then I'll be revived. I'm still really ahead. That guy who's not going to take any naps is going to beat you. Yeah. Because he's just going to keep running. He's going to keep running. And before you know it, a lot of these ultras, like the guy who wins, they win by like 10 hours. [42:45] They win by nutty time. Courtney DeWalter, the lady who was on our podcast once, she ran the Bigfoot 240, I think. And I think she was like eight hours ahead of the second place person. I kind of don't understand that.

[42:58] the mentality. [43:00] that the ultra people have. Oh, it's dark. Yeah, I'm like, I don't get it. It's dark. How do you actually get there? Well, you have to be a complete nut, and then you have to want to test yourself to the point of almost death because that's what these people are doing. They're running like Goggins. [43:16] He ran one of these fucking things, got rhabdo. So rhabdomyelosis was when you worked out too hard, your body can't recover, and you start pissing brown. Real bad, your kidneys are breaking down. He had to go to the hospital, went to the hospital, got out of the hospital, completed the race. And then he did like 100 push-ups. [43:35] He's fucking, like, he's getting to the door of death. Yeah. Just the door. And that's how he feels normal. Yeah. He feels alive by, like, getting his body to, and he's 50, by the way. Fucking crazy. Yeah, he's a maniac. Did you watch, by the way, did you watch the... [43:55] Anthony Joshua, Jake Paulson? I did. Of course I did. Yeah. I would have guessed. Yeah, I had to watch it. Spectacle. Yeah. [44:04] Look, that guy did great for someone who's been boxing for like less than a decade. [44:11] And he has had no real professional opponents other than Tommy Fury that were legitimate world-class boxers. I don't even remember what happened in the time. He lost a close decision, but it was a good fight. It was a good fight, though. [44:25] He's a good boxer. If he wasn't a YouTuber, people would be way more impressed with him. Yeah. The problem is he was like a famous kid. Yeah.

[44:33] And then no one took him seriously. Yeah. [44:35] But... [44:36] Oh, and then he started, too, with more spectacle-ish fights. People were like, oh, this is your – he fought Nate Robinson, like a basketball player. Yeah, but the thing is he knocked Nate Robinson dead. He knocked him the fuck out. And it's the way he did it that I was trying to tell people. I'm like, no, no, no. That was skillful. It's like there's boxing matches where you see two guys just slugging it out. One guy lands a punch, and yeah, he landed a good punch. What Jake did is he slid back and landed a punch. Yeah. [45:06] I'm like, he's not even doing it that long. And he's also hyper-competitive, even though he's wealthy. You know, like you would assume that wealth would take away your drive for competition. But it hasn't, yeah. [45:16] He's also nuts, right? Just the fact that he's willing to fight [45:20] the two-time heavyweight champion, former Olympic gold medalist. Yeah. A guy who's gigantic in his pride. Gigantic. Built like a Greek god. Yeah. And he's a one-punch killer. And you're going to stand in front of that guy. And he avoided shots until the sixth round. He just started getting tired. Yeah. His movement in that fight was crazy. It was very good. Yeah. It was very good. He was really keeping him moving around the whole ring. And then... You can't afford to get tired. You can't get tired. That's the thing is like he gets tired in a lot of his fights in the later rounds. You should really sort that out. [45:50] Because if he had a much bigger gas tank, like if he was training with some of these elite – [45:57] world-class strength and conditioning coaches and just worked on his cardio, he'd be beating way more guys. You think so? Yeah, 100%. But it's like,

[46:07] What he's doing is learning how to box, and he's boxing, and he's training hard, for sure. But to get that world-class gas tank, you need like a Sam Calavita. You need like a Nick Kurson. You need like these plyometrics experts that have got heart rate monitors on you, and they're checking when your recovery is ready and go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You need guys monitoring your recovery, monitoring your heart rate variability, your VO2 max. [46:35] I couldn't believe it. Maybe he is. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he is doing that. But whatever it is, it's not enough. It's not enough. Because in so many of his fights, like the Nate Diaz fight, he gets tired in the later rounds. In the beginning, look, if that guy is only fighting three rounds, he's a fucking handful. He's really good. He clocked Anthony Joshua. He did hit him with a big right hand. He did. Didn't have any effect. Yeah. Because he's, you know, really, he weighed 216, but he doesn't even have abs right at 216. He could easily weigh 190. [47:05] Sure, he could make 190. Yeah. Anthony Joshua's gigantic. So big. He's so big. He's so much bigger. So, of course, like his punch that he knocks Tyron Woodley out cold with, Joshua just eats it. Yeah. Because he's a giant. Yeah. He's a fucking giant man. He's so big, dude. He's so big. [47:22] I give Jake so much credit for stepping into that ring. Bro, he got hit with a bomb. A right-hand bomb. When he got hit with that, too. [47:32] I don't know if enough has been made of the fact that, I mean, it was absolutely devastating. But the fact that he had awareness immediately to go like, he looked at the crowd like, oh, shit. Like, wow. It wasn't like. I think he went into that fight knowing that was probably going to happen. And ultimately, the big win for him would be that he was even willing to do it and that he could do well for a little bit. For a little bit. Yeah.

[48:02] Joshua's going to connect with a bomb. [48:04] Yeah. And breaks his jaw in two places. Yeah. Yeah. [48:07] And he's fucked. His jaw's wired shut now. He lost teeth. [48:10] See, I mean, he made it to the sixth round. Yeah. Pretty wild. Do they put your teeth back in when they pop out like that, or are they gone forever? I don't know. I don't know. But this shit's wired shut for like six weeks now. Yeah. You got to eat nothing but protein shakes. Yeah. [48:23] Bro. Oof. I mean, look, it's a crazy world. The thing is that... [48:28] I would hope that he recognizes. Right now, he's doing great, and he's only, whatever he is, 28, I think. Is he 28? I think he is. How old is Jake Paul? [48:39] He's young. God damn. And he's probably made $300 million plus in his boxing career. How old is Jake Paul? He'll be 29 in a month. Look at that. So he's 28 years old. 29 next month. [48:51] Don't do this very long. [48:53] Because there's a price that you pay that is not worth it. It's not worth it. And that price is depression, deep depression, a severe brain imbalance that's going to lead you to addiction. It leads so many people to impulsive behavior. So many people become gambling addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics after their fighting career. Yeah. It's – you could only take so much. [49:23] You have like a punch card. You have like so many punches that you can get in your life, which I believe you do. I believe there's a certain number. That one was like 10 bunches. Yeah. That was like. Yeah. It was a lot of concussions in that one punch. Sure. That was real damage. Like if someone's breaking your jaw in two places, the inside of your fucking head is there's a lot of damage going on in there too. Fuck yeah. Just don't do it for. I know too many guys that like they wanted to be cool guys and they kept sparring like deep into their 30s and 40s.

[49:53] hard sparring, not jujitsu, boxing, boxing sparring. So they're just standing in front of each other, slugging it out. They get bloody noses. They laugh about it and think it was cool. And then they go about their day. And I'm like, man, that's going to get you. [50:05] Because at a certain point in time, [50:08] That fucking depression is unavoidable. It just creeps in. You just, oh, you don't feel good. You just don't feel good. Like, you're just like, oh, all the time. Just, oh. Their whole day is like, oh. No thanks. You know that feeling when you're hungover? That's their life. [50:26] That's no. That's no way to live. And it varies. Some guys don't get that. And he definitely doesn't have to do that. Not anymore. No. If he could do anything, that guy can do anything. If he could do what he did in boxing, he could do anything. Just don't do it forever. Yeah. It's just one of them things where it's like the price you pay. [50:41] is eventually not worth it. [50:43] Yeah. [50:44] Awesome that he did. I mean, awesome that he... [50:47] He probably made $100 million Saturday night. [50:50] Jesus Christ, that's so much. I don't know what he got paid. But also, it's probably worth another $100 million in publicity. Easily. Because people loved watching him get knocked out. They did. But also, I had to say, that guy has fucking balls. And he does. He earned it. He earned it. That guy has ever... If he doesn't have your respect after that fight... Because a lot of people are like, oh, you're going to fight Gervonta Davis? He's only 135 pounds. He's like, okay, I'll fight a guy 110 pounds bigger. Okay. [51:16] So you've – I know. No, you couldn't pay me. Balls. You could not pay me enough to do that. The guy's got balls. He's got nothing but respect for me. Yeah. Nothing but respect. Just don't do it forever. There comes a time where the cost is not worth it because –

[51:30] Some people never return. That's what you have to understand. There's people that get out, like if you listen to Randy Couture talk now. [51:38] Talks fine. He's great. He was knocked out a bunch of times. Chuck Liddell knocked him out. They knew when to dip out. Knew when to dip out. And Randy also really didn't even begin his UFC career until his late 30s, if I'm correct. He was either 35 or... [51:54] It might have been 34 or 35 when he had his first UFC fight. [51:58] I was there. [51:59] That was in like fucking the middle of nowhere in the South. That's pretty old, right? Oh, yeah. Well, he was an elite wrestler. He was an elite Greco-Roman wrestler, and then he got into MMA late in life. Back in the time, the days when you'd be able to wear shoes, they used to wear wrestling shoes when they fought. Really? Yeah. Yeah. [52:14] Oh, wow. The early days used to be able to wear shoes. But like he's he's fine. There's a bunch of guys that are still fine, but there's a bunch of guys that are really struggling, really struggling. [52:25] Don't get there. Don't get there. Scary. Dip out before that happens. It's real scary. Know when to dip out and have friends that tell you when to dip out. [52:33] You have a coach that doesn't say, well, let's give it one more shot. Yeah. [52:39] You only want to be doing that if you're trying to be the best in the world. That's my opinion. [52:44] I mean, there's a lot of guys who are never going to be the best in the world, and they still love competing. [52:49] But... [52:49] And that's great too. And there's a lot of guys that make a living doing it and they make good money and they feed their families. I'm not saying – but if you have an option – [53:00] I don't think you should do it unless you're a fucking complete maniac, absolutely obsessed. You want to do it more than you want to do anything else in life. Because if you don't feel like that, there's a guy out there that does. Yeah. And that guy's going to fuck you up. Yeah. That guy's going to come and take your soul away from you. I always think of Mike Tyson when he was 20. Yeah. I was like, if you're not that dedicated, you shouldn't be fighting. Because Mike Tyson's not one person. There's a bunch of those guys out there. There's Alex Pereira.

[53:30] there in the world that are that obsessed you know there's all these islam makachevs and ilia tapurias there's these guys out there in the world that are just driven to do it and if you want to fight if you really want to fight if you run into one of those guys and you're not doing what they're doing you're going to get tuned up alex i didn't realize how big he is giant i did not realize that until the photo of him next to somebody i know like a friend and i was like there's a lot of [54:00] There's a lot of chatter about it. There's a lot of chatter about him perhaps even fighting Cyril Gaon. I don't know how much of this is true. I haven't talked to Dana about it. But it's not an illogical move. He's 240 pounds right now. 240 plus. And he's like, what, 6'4", 6'5"? 6'5", 6'4", 6'5". And make no mistake about it, that guy can knock out heavyweights. No doubt about it. He hits harder than anyone they've ever recorded ever on that fucking stupid punch machine. You know that thing? Yeah. [54:30] like a 129 on it, which is crazy. He got a 190. 190? 190. [54:37] When you watch him hit it, you're like, what the fuck? You want to see it? You should just see it just to feel what it would feel like to get hit in the head by that. Oh, my God. Like, that guy, he's out there in the world. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you think you're going to be a journeyman and you're going to all of a sudden... [54:53] You know, be looking across the octagon and that guy's staring there. Trauma. Trauma. [54:58] Like he's going to hunt you. He's going to hunt you. And you're not in that space that he's in. He's in a kill or be killed space. And you're in a this is fun to compete. Yeah, it's not the same thing. Not the same thing. Watch this video because it's fucking bananas. Holy fuck. When he hits it, you just go. Everybody around him goes, oh. Like what the fuck? Watch this.

[55:22] That's right. [55:25] Oh, my gosh. [55:30] See that? One more time. One more time. Will you do it from the beginning? [55:35] That, if you don't, the sound is so crazy. Yeah, that's your face. You know what, Mark Goddard? Mark Goddard was the referee in his fight with Khalil Roundtree, and he came up to me right after the fight. I got into the octagon. They were going to announce Alex Pereira, winner by knockout. [55:55] makes he goes i've been doing this for 20 years he goes the sound is ungodly really it's ungodly it's different [56:04] And you can see when you're doing commentary, you see the look on the guys' faces. When they get hit, they're like, oh, this is real. This is different. [56:13] There's some different dudes out there. There's some different dudes out there. And that's that's a different not just a dedication and drive and focus because he definitely has all that. But it's genetics. That dude is a legitimate Amazon warrior. Yeah, like he's he comes from a tribe in the Amazon. And he goes back to that tribe and he gets he puts on the traditional outfits that they wear and the face paint and hangs out with them. And it's like, yo, he would have been the fucking tribal warlord. He would have been the chief. Yeah, yeah. [56:42] I mean, that's his ancestry. Fuck me. Yeah, he speaks their language. [56:46] Oh, he does like the dialect? I think. I don't want to misspeak, but I'm pretty sure he understands what they're saying because he's talking to them. Not just Portuguese, like Brazil. Yeah, yeah. That whole Amazon area is so fascinating, man. Have you been to the Amazon? No. I went once. Really? Yeah. What'd you do? My uncle was working for an oil company.

[57:06] in Peru. And there's a part of Peru called Iquitos in the north, which is the jungle. And I went with him, and we went out on the Amazon. [57:15] And then we... [57:16] pulled up to some place and, um, [57:20] He's like, we're going to eat here, right? And it's not like... [57:23] fucking Terry Black's, right? It's just like some fucking... A shack. A shack. And the guy just kept bringing it up. I was like, what am I eating? [57:30] He was like, I'll tell you later. [57:31] Piranha. It was all kinds of weird shit. What were we eating? I mean snakes and rabbits and, and, you know, like Amazonian shit that I've never even heard of. And I would take bites. I'm like, what is this? Later. I'll tell you later. Okay. He made me eat all this stuff. And I was like, this is fucking crazy. But when you're out there, yeah, you are kind of wowed. You know, you're just in awe of everything around you. And like, just the fact that this is [57:59] on the planet with us, and you can make a trek to a place like this where there's species of not just animals, flowers and trees and things that don't exist anywhere else, and it's so rich with everything that's there. It's an awe-inspiring kind of thing. It hasn't even been documented. There's so many pharmaceutical drugs that come from plants they find in the Amazon. It's wild. It's such a crazy place. You know the craziest part about it? The density of the Amazon rainforest is essentially man-made. [58:28] Man-made? Man-made. Really? Yeah, they didn't know that until fairly recently. Those are agriculture plants that grew out of control.

[58:37] And they constantly find... [58:39] You know, they'll find like a species of a bird and they'll be like, this is the only place we've ever seen this bird. It doesn't exist anywhere else on the planet. It all used to be populated too. That's what's really crazy. Yeah. Have you seen that LIDAR stuff they do? Yes. And they find all these ancient structures. Yes. The white man came and brought the cooties. That's what happened. And there's still like these tribes that live there and literally have blow darts. Oh, yeah. That hunt. That's how they hunt. [59:05] kill their meals. My friend Paul Rosalie lives there. Lives there? He lives in the Amazon. He's got this organization that's working to try to preserve the rainforest. One of the things they do is they find these loggers. And these loggers generally, they're poor guys that just get forced to do these jobs. And he pays them more than they get paid as loggers to protect the rainforest. So instead of cutting it down, now you have a job where you get paid more, but now your job is to protect the forest. [59:35] So they plant more and everything? Yeah, they plant more. They stop people from – I don't know if they plant, honestly. They stop people from cutting things down. The problem with planting – and this is where the Amazon gets really weird. The Amazon soil natively is not conducive for growing a lot of stuff. [59:51] So there's a... [59:53] type of soil that's man-made that they do not know how they did it. They do not know when they started doing it. But it's called terra preta. Is that what it's called? And it's a thick, dark, man-made soil. So it's essentially compost and all this different process and carbon and a bunch of things that they get into this man-made layer that's all over the Amazon.

[1:00:17] Wow. [1:00:18] That whole area, we thought it like – so you know this Lost City of Z story? So the Lost City of Z was that movie. Did you ever see it? Was it Percy Richards? What was his name? Percy Fawcett? Percy Fawcett. So this guy goes down to the Amazon a long time ago, and he comes back with this story. European traveler comes back with this story of golden cities, and it's amazing. [1:00:43] He comes back, he reports his findings, and then 100 years later, like a new search party goes down there to look for this place. They don't find nothing. [1:00:51] Like, oh, that guy was full of shit. [1:00:53] But he wasn't full of shit. [1:00:55] It was all real. It's just that he brought the cooties. So they brought disease and literally wiped out millions of people, millions of people. And the jungle just consumed whatever structures were there in 100 years, which is like, look at Detroit. [1:01:10] Detroit is freezing cold. It's nowhere near as tropical as the Amazon. But Detroit, houses are just – trees are growing straight through them, and it's only been like 50 years. So in 100 years in the Amazon, everything was gone. All the people were dead. All the structures, which were wood, were all just like consumed by the rainforest. Whoa. Yeah, and they didn't even know this until they started doing this LIDAR stuff. [1:01:40] And essentially it looks into the ground and finds structures right through the trees. It can like scan things. And they're finding aqueducts and roads and like complex irrigation systems, big giant symmetrical structures like this. This is all covered by jungle.

[1:02:00] Like, these were all buildings and streets. Like, they had millions of people living in the Amazon. Millions. This is like the same, you know, the theory... [1:02:11] You know how UAPs have become... [1:02:13] more like there's congressional testimonies about it. And everybody's always talking about where are these visitors coming from? Right. But like one of the theories is that they're not visitors from somewhere else. [1:02:25] Yeah. Their visitor's... [1:02:27] from our own planet. That is an interesting thing. I always thought it was interesting, especially just because we know... [1:02:34] how much... [1:02:36] of our planet is actually unexplored. Like we always think of it as like, oh, we know the planet. Right. But like most of the ocean is unexplored, like a huge number of, and then obviously things like the jungle, where you're just discovering like, oh, look, there's a whole civilization in there. Well, there was a civilization. Was, yes. I think the Amazon rainforest people that they encounter now, the uncontacted people, are probably the survivors. Yeah. Because the thing is, during the ice age, the equator was lush. Yeah. [1:03:05] So these areas probably had like huge populations, perfect climate. I mean, think about all the incredible structures that you find in those areas, like the Incan structures and the Mayan structures. Like they were obviously like a very advanced civilization. [1:03:23] back that. Nothing makes sense when you're there. Like, I've been three times. [1:03:26] to Machu Picchu. [1:03:28] Oh, you went to Machu Picchu? Yeah, I went three times. And every time...

[1:03:33] Because you see photos and stuff. When you're actually there, you're like – it's just – your brain just goes, I don't – you know, it doesn't – because it's all theories. Right. Everyone – like, you'll have a guide who's like, this is how – and you're like, yeah, but this is your guess, motherfucker. You don't know that, you know, because it just doesn't add up in your head how this could be built. Right. [1:03:54] Up in the Andes. Well, the predominant theory by the alternative historians is that water was that high back then. [1:04:02] Oh. In that area. Yeah. And that there have been some enormous seismic changes, you know, earthquakes and the like, which is one of the reasons why they made those stones the way they did in the first place. Like, if you see the stones... [1:04:15] They're cut like jigsaw puzzle pieces and slipped into place. Yeah. The reason why they did that is because that would better redistribute [1:04:22] any energy that would come from an earthquake. So instead of like bricks stacked on top of bricks, they're all like interlocking with each other with a bunch of different angles and they're immense. These pieces are so immense and it's laying perfectly flush against the next piece. Like it's not like kind of – [1:04:40] sloppily thrown together. It looks like [1:04:42] An architecture firm designed it and hired – like there were cranes putting – you're like how the fuck would this be put together in 1500? Yeah. It's really, really difficult to figure out. Yeah. They don't know, and they don't even know the date. The date is silly because they're not – what they're basing the date off of – there's a bunch of different structures. There's the base structure, which is way more complex and way bigger.

[1:05:12] It's really clear. Yeah. Like the layers above it are like less sophisticated than the giant megalithic stuff that's below it. And yet they all try to attribute it to the same time. The problem is they get married to a timeline. Yeah. And once they get married to that timeline, then they go, oh, well, that's just what it is. That's just what it is. But they don't know what it is. Of course. They're always – they've discovered this new stone structure that is in – [1:05:39] Oregon. [1:05:41] And it's 18,000 years old. They didn't even think up until fairly recently. They didn't think that people were here 18,000 years ago. There's a structure in Oregon that's 18,000? Yeah, let me see if I can find it. [1:05:52] I think, yeah, here it is. I found it. I always feel like when the experts give you the... Oh, did you find it, Jamie? Yeah. Testing yields new evidence of human occupation 18,000 years ago in Oregon. [1:06:04] So they just keep – so this is a stone wall. It's pretty cool. [1:06:10] Um... [1:06:11] So they found camel teeth fragments under a layer of volcanic ash from an eruption of Mount St. Helens that was dated over 15,000 years ago. The team also uncovered two finely crafted orange... [1:06:22] I don't know what that word is. A gate scrapers? A gate scrapers. I guess it's a type of stone. One in 2012 preserved bison blood residue and another in 2015 buried deeper in the ash. [1:06:32] So they did the radiocarbon dating on this stuff, and they came up with a date of 18,250 years before present time. [1:06:41] Fuck. That's so goddamn long ago. The date in association with stone tools suggests that the Rimbrock Draw Rock Shelter is one of the oldest human occupation sites in North America. See if you can find what that looks like.

[1:06:54] Right. [1:06:55] So there's a few places in America where people are like, okay, what the fuck is this? And one of them that's really interesting – what does perplexity have to say about this – [1:07:07] The site is a shallow rock shelter about 3 meters deep, 20 meters long, on a basalt rim near the town of Riley in Harnage County, Oregon, at the northern edge of the Great Basin. [1:07:21] Interesting. [1:07:24] Um... [1:07:25] This stuff is so interesting to me. [1:07:27] Yeah, because there's a weird one in Montana. Have you seen the sage wall in Montana? This one's really weird. So this one is actually debatable, apparently. So there are some people that are geologists that look at this and say it could be a natural formation. And other people look at it and go, yeah, but it has legit tooling on it. [1:07:52] So this is a wall that's on a piece of private property in Montana. Like just looking at that image. [1:08:00] Boy, that looks a lot like people made it. Yeah. That looks a lot like people made it. So there's an argument, though, that there are similar but not as uniquely man-made looking structures that are not – [1:08:12] They're definitely not manmade. Wait, so this is a debate is that this might not be manmade? This might be naturally occurring? Exactly. [1:08:20] Like, look at that. [1:08:21] What are the odds that that is? [1:08:24] What is that?

[1:08:25] Like, what is that? [1:08:26] Is that evidence of an ancient civilization or is that just a geological formation? Well, the funny thing is in that image – [1:08:33] I lean more towards, I could see how you could... [1:08:36] make a case [1:08:38] of... [1:08:38] a natural formation? Perhaps. But on the other ones where things look more stacked, it feels like, [1:08:44] That... [1:08:45] Like that second image below? That's not it. No, I think that's AI. Oh, okay. I was trying to be careful which ones I was going to show you. [1:08:53] But when you look at it from the top, that's kind of crazy. Yeah, that is kind of crazy. There's parts of it, though, that look like, well, there's stuff around that that just doesn't look as uniquely man-made. [1:09:06] But it is without a doubt weird. Because if it turns out that people did make this thing, and apparently it goes deep into the ground. Like there's some cuts that looks like, and then there's also some... [1:09:21] evidence that looks like somebody might have been working on the stone, like drill holes or something. I forget what it was. [1:09:28] But look at these. [1:09:30] Yeah, that looks like... [1:09:31] Okay, because this is not that. That's comparing it to the stuff that's in Peru, which has some of the craziest stuff. Peru has some of the craziest stuff in the world. [1:09:40] Like, look at that. Like, look at that angle. Right? [1:09:43] Go back to that one right there. What the fuck is that? [1:09:47] That's crazy. Are there nubs on any of these rocks? That's a good question. But some of them, like, boy, that looks really fucking suspicious. You've looked up, I don't know if we've talked about the lines of Nazca before. Oh, yeah. That's so... Well, do you know about the mummies, the tridactyl mummies that they found in that area? Uh-uh. Oh, boy. No. Oh, boy. Okay. So they've always had artwork that depicted these three-fingered, three-toed beings with big eyes. It's a part of, like, ancient Peruvian artwork.

[1:10:17] Well, they've found these mummified remains of the weirdest looking fucking creatures you've ever seen in your life. They're three feet tall. They have big heads, three fingers and three toes, and they're dead. And then they do CT scans on them. They have all the ligaments and structure of a living being, but with a different scapula than us. [1:10:47] we have, I think the same amount of ribs, but their structure is different, but it's a real structure. Like when you see the structure with the CT scan, you see flesh and tissue, these things. [1:10:57] Bro, this is all in Peru. [1:11:01] So there's all these little metallic implants on this thing too, but this is the structure of its body. And as it goes further, it shows the tissue and everything because it's mummified. So you could see like ligaments and tissue. And when you – so there's a bunch of different scans that they did and one of them – [1:11:19] the being was pregnant. But look, it has a spinal column. It has all the joints are in order, but they're different than our joints. And it's in that area? Yes. This is all in Peru. [1:11:28] And it's all in the same. Look at this has a fucking metallic golden implant in its forehead. And look at the size of its head. Like it looks like a gray, right? Yeah. See if you can get some of those images that show the CT scans of the tissue. Because the CT scans of the tissue are the weird. It also there is. So it also has fingerprints.

[1:11:50] Which are weird. Like, look at that. It has fucking fingerprints, but they're different than ours and three digits. Yeah. [1:11:56] What the fuck? Unique fingerprints. They don't know what this is, but my friend Jesse Michaels went down there and saw them in person. He said it was unreal. This episode is brought to you by Gold Belly. Gold Belly will ship you the most insane dude foods from all across the country. You got to try the ribs from Terry Black's in Austin. Massive, juicy beef ribs that take a day to cook, and you just... [1:12:17] sink your teeth into them, Goldbelly will ship them to you anywhere. [1:12:22] And you've heard me talk about Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles from L.A. Man, now you don't have to sit in L.A. traffic to get some of that chicken. Just order on Gold Belly. So ship, Dad, something awesome from the most iconic restaurants across the USA. Go to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with the promo code ROGAN. That's goldbelly.com, promo code ROGAN. [1:12:45] This episode is brought to you by Tecovas. All right, guys, if you want boots that are made right, you gotta check out Tecovas. Their western boots are sturdy and clearly built to last, but really sharp and premium too. You don't need to break them in either. They're comfortable, straight out of the box, and great boots for those summer concerts, weddings, work events, whatever. And they're versatile too. You can wear them with jeans, dress them up or down, [1:13:15] classic leathers like cowhide and goat. But they've got all the exotics too for when you want to level up your look.

[1:13:23] If you've been thinking about your next pair of boots or, hey, even your first pair, go check out Tecovas in-store or online at tecovas.com. That's T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com. And right now, get 10% off at tecovas.com slash Rogan when you sign up for email and texts. He said it's really fucking bizarre. Did I tell you when I went to the Lieners, the Nuska? No. So I went there. [1:13:50] I was in the... And my uncle set me up to go see them with my dad. [1:13:58] And so we got into... [1:14:00] what was a cartel plane that was confiscated by the government and was now [1:14:05] like a [1:14:07] like a Peruvian government plane, like a military plane. But it was really like a [1:14:13] Four seats in the back, two pilots in the front, I think two propellers, right? [1:14:17] one of those types of planes. The best way to see the lines is in a chopper so you can hover. [1:14:22] But we went on a plane [1:14:24] Yeah. [1:14:24] And we're like, I mean, it's you're you can't believe what you're seeing. Right. Like, you're right. You're flying over and they're taking. And then the middle of it, my dad's like, I need to pee. [1:14:36] And I'm like, what? [1:14:37] He's like, tell the pilot I need to pee. [1:14:39] I'm like, we're in a... [1:14:41] we're going to keep doing this. He's like, I have to pee now. Oh boy. So I go to the pilot. I was like, Hey, my dad's got to pee. He's like, what? [1:14:49] yeah he's like 65 i'm like he's gotta pee and the guy's like

[1:14:56] Thank you. [1:14:56] All right. [1:14:57] So we just find some random... [1:15:00] I think in Pisco or something. And then... How long does it take to do that? I forget. I mean, we had to go out of our way. [1:15:08] And then, you know, he pees. How long did it take? I mean, for us to get to the airstrip, probably like it was out of the way. So maybe like another... [1:15:16] 20 minutes or something oh boy yeah and i was like dude he's like what am i supposed to do i was like i don't know what didn't you fucking pee before we got in this thing he's like yeah but i gotta pee again all right and then they just like walk around and they find an oil canteen that was like discarded on the runway and they're like this is for your dad so that if he has to pee again we don't have to land the fucking plane i was like here you go dad like just if it strikes you again please piss in this did he do it yeah he did it he did he pissed again oh my god [1:15:46] You piss in the oil can? Yeah. So you're flying around, your dad's piss, walking around? And then where he's like, that's pretty neat, looking at the lines of Nazca. Like, yeah, pretty neat, man. Really bizarre. It's kind of funny, too, to think about. Show me the images of the red ones where it shows the tissues and the ligaments. The fact that some people aren't wowed by things like this. Do you know what I mean? Jay Anderson had a good one. He had a bunch of good, because he did a piece on it, too. Yeah, well, you have to be out of your fucking mind to not be wowed by this. Yeah. [1:16:16] I know, but don't you feel like half the population is like, oh, that's cool. Half the population is asleep. Yeah. They're all on TikTok. It's all rot in their brain. They're all just social media is like transformed their attention. They're locked in on nonsense, on things that don't have any bearing on their life whatsoever, and that's what they're focusing on six hours a day. Yeah. That's a lot of people. And then you show them something like this, and they're like, that's cool. This is completely bananas. Yeah, that's a...

[1:16:46] That's not a human being. It's a fucking alien. Or it might have been a kind of human being. [1:16:53] Right? So you know about... There's a bunch of different ones, right? Everybody knows about Neanderthals, but there's also the Hobbit people on the island of Flores. There's three-foot-tall human beings that looked probably like [1:17:05] you know, like a hobbit, like little chimpanzee. Look at that fucking thing. Fucking A. Like, what is that? [1:17:10] And the thing is, it's like if you just saw the outside, you'd go, oh, that's a cool structure or cool sculpture rather. But then when you see the actual ligaments and tendons and all the stuff inside of it, you go, oh, this is a living being, whatever the hell it is. And they all have three toes and three fingers. Yeah. [1:17:29] It just strikes me, too, that this isn't the primary conversation we're having, though. I mean, look at that. I know. How insane is that? [1:17:38] It's an alien, man. They're very different. They also have different shaped heads. Like, there's a difference between, you know... How many did they find? [1:17:48] Oh, there's quite a few of them. There's quite a few of them. What is the Montserrat? That's the bigger one. That's the biggest one that they have. That's the name they gave it? Yeah, they gave it a name. So this is the largest one and the most impressive. And she has these metallic implants. She's got the one on her forehead, and she's got several of them on her body. [1:18:05] It's a very weird thing because it seems like it's a living creature. [1:18:09] But it's not like a human being. Like even the way it's skull, those lines in the skull, like we all have those, whatever those lines are. Yeah, their lines are different than ours. Everything's different.

[1:18:22] Jesus. Yeah. And the way they found these things, grave robbers find them. So they don't really tell you where they found them. They lie about them. They find them in Peru. But I mean like how long ago did this happen? All this is fairly recent. Okay. All this is in the last decade or so. But really the focus on it has been over the last year or so where a lot of these scientists have gone down there to take a look at it and guys like Jesse Michaels and some other people. The problem is the country doesn't want them removed for testing, right? Right. [1:18:52] equipment down there because testing has to be done. We have to figure out what these things are because it seems like it's a life form that is a bipedal hominid that's different than us that probably lived alongside. By the way, that thing is also 1,200 years old. That's old. Yeah. It's 1,200 years old. So it's not a fake. I wonder if that's the civilization that did those lines. Very well could be. They could be the same civilization that also did all those structures up there. There might have been living amongst us. [1:19:22] different civilizations in the past that just don't exist anymore. [1:19:26] If these things turn out to be real, [1:19:28] and they do have this enormous head and these weird spindly bodies and three fingers and three toes, and they start finding more and more artifacts that point to that, that changes our understanding of what has existed here before. Because whatever that thing is, it's at the very least... [1:19:44] It's advanced enough to give itself metal implants. [1:19:47] Like what's going on there where it has a gold circle in its forehead implanted into its skull? Like what's the point of that?

[1:19:55] I mean, because gold does have a place in electronics. You know, they use gold in certain electronics. [1:20:01] It's got great kind of conductivity, right? [1:20:04] So why does it have – what is that thing? [1:20:07] If it's a real thing, everybody should be – like it should be front page. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Look at that. [1:20:12] Look at that implant. [1:20:14] That's Jay Anderson. He was actually just on. [1:20:17] What could this mean? Yeah. [1:20:18] Bro, it's bananas. Look at those eyes, like the slots for the eyes. Yeah, like a gray alien. Tridactyl, but yeah. Like a gray alien. And by the way, like people have described when they've had encounters, they've described things that look exactly like that. Three fingers, three toes, spindly, big head, large eyes. And he went down there and... [1:20:39] My friend Jesse Michaels went down there and actually touched them. That was the first video. He was in the room while they were doing the scans. He said it's so strange. He said it feels so surreal because it's so obvious that it was a real living thing. I don't understand how that's not like the lead story in the news. Everywhere. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're arguing over – [1:21:00] You know, everything. Yeah. Everything else. Everything. Whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. Can you believe what's going on with Turning Point USA? I know. They found aliens. I know. They found alien bodies. Like, if you ever wanted alien bodies, oh, show me a body. That's an alien body. Yeah. At the very least, it's not us. So maybe it's from here. [1:21:20] And when extinct, or maybe it's in the ocean or the congressional testimony of like high level whistleblowers being like we have.

[1:21:28] whatever, this ship, whatever you want to call it. And then it's like in a congressional testimony, everyone's like, that's cool. [1:21:37] Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Yeah, everybody's like TikToking. But it was funny that... Can you believe Nicki Minaj was on stage at the TPUSA? It's crazy. It's really crazy to me that that's not captivating people more. Well, I think people are in a trance. There's a giant percentage of our population that's in a trance. That should be the main news. Other than the wars, that should be the main news today. Well, hopefully they're in a trance to watch my new special, Teacher on Netflix. [1:22:07] You did that. Go ahead and zone out and watch that with your family. [1:22:12] Yeah, well, comedy's fucking super important when the world's going crazy. It sure is. When the world is going crazy right now. [1:22:19] We were talking about the Epstein releases before we got started. Yeah. [1:22:24] First of all, like photo dump and the emails. It's fucking nuts. But it's also they're doing it so slowly. Like you guys have had this stuff for a year. [1:22:34] And we were promised multiple times. It's coming. It's coming. Doesn't it seem like you could just throw all that into AI at this stage of the game? Yes. And... [1:22:42] Just redact the names of the victims and let's go? Yeah, of course. It seems like that would take five minutes. I mean, it feels like – I mean, you can't help but feel like the administration is just like watching their back, and that's why it's happening. Watching someone's back? Yeah. I mean, it's all speculative why they haven't released it, but it's not good. It's not good for everybody's confidence. No. Also, it's not good that –

[1:23:06] this thing was going on, that they had this bizarre blackmail operation running. That's very weird. Very strange. Very weird. But it kind of makes sense. Because if you're a 60-year-old billionaire and you're a freak and you like to get your freak on, but unfortunately, you're a gigantic software developer and everybody knows who you are. It's hard to get your freak on. Well, that's the thing. It makes sense when you go like, oh, some of these dudes really like visiting that place. It's like, that's the only place they can go. [1:23:34] Right. You can't go anywhere else. Right. And that's why they set it up for them. Yeah. Eric Weinstein said that to me once. And he like – I was like, oh, OK. That makes sense. If you're the former president of the United States, you can't go to a nightclub. Yeah. He said, I think there are people out there that provide experiences. [1:23:49] For certain people that have a hunger for them. Yeah. It's like, of course. Of course. Of course. And that's also how they compromise people too, right? Oh, yeah. That's how they get you to vote the way they want you to vote and play ball. Bobby, we've got video. You're sucking a dick. Yeah. Yeah. [1:24:05] What do you want to do? What do you want to do? Yeah. [1:24:07] Because, like, I bet all those people have something on them. They have to. That's how they stay in the game. They have to. It's like skull and bones. You've got to suck the dick. Well, look at, like... Otherwise, we can't trust you. For the Epstein shit, like, look at the level of people that we're visiting. I mean, it's all... [1:24:23] at the highest level of influence, power, and fame. Yeah. And so you go, yeah, this dude wants to do some wild shit. He can't go to fucking... He can't go to Cheetah's and get it done. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can't do it. He's got to go somewhere. Yeah. What sounds good? A private island. Yeah, he can't just like...

[1:24:40] Order up a call girl. Uh-uh. [1:24:42] It's too risky. Where are you going? I'm going to Captain Billionaire's house to go suck his dick. I do it every Tuesday. Plus, I'm on meth, and I'm really good at keeping secrets. [1:24:53] These guys, it's dark. It's fucking dark. So some guy comes along and says, I can take care of your problem. [1:25:01] And everybody says, oh, trust me, he's a great guy. He's really cool. And he also does this thing. [1:25:08] Yeah, great sense of humor. The staff love him. They also do this thing where – [1:25:14] You know... [1:25:15] It's like you're going to hang out with other famous people, so it must be safe. [1:25:19] Hey, Bill Clinton's here. This is no problem. [1:25:22] This is a statement released by the spokesperson or spokesman for Bill Clinton. Oh, let's read that. Wait a minute. There's a person who signed it? [1:25:32] My name is Angel Urena, spokesperson. [1:25:35] spokesman for the former president, Bill Clinton. Isn't that weird? [1:25:39] He's the Deputy Chief of Staff for Bill Clinton. [1:25:41] Okay. [1:25:43] Thank you. [1:25:43] He's still got a chief of staff. What does he do these days? Epstein files Transparency Act imposes a clear legal duty on the U.S. Department of Justice to produce the full and complete record of the public demands and deserves. [1:25:54] That the public demands and deserves. However, what the Department of Justice has released so far in the manner in which it did so makes one thing clear. Someone or something is being protected. We do not know whom. [1:26:07] What or why? This is like the killer. [1:26:10] Pretending to be the detective? Yeah. We've got to solve this crime. We do not know whom. This is the killer joining the search party. We do not know whom, what, or why. We have photos of you in a fucking hot tub, buddy. But we do know this. We need no such protection. Accordingly, we call on President Trump to direct Attorney General Bondi to immediately release any remaining materials referring to, mentioning, or containing a photograph of Bill Clinton.

[1:26:40] This means a deal was made. So if you have a press release like that, that means the call went well. Yeah, yeah. You got a deal in. Whew, we're good. We are good. All we have to do is let them run for a third term. And we're fine. And look. [1:27:04] dude clinton chilling in that hot tub too hey i would chill in a hot tub too it feels nice yeah it feels nice but it's just like what's the big deal you're chilling in a hot tub if i went to your house and you had a hot tub like let's all get in the hot tub i get in there come on over picture of me i'm like fuck dude yeah i don't even know her yeah why'd you do that i don't know i don't know how old she was and you got cameras up all over your house yeah yeah yeah he knew what [1:27:34] People do coke in the bathroom. You got cameras of that. They were probably doing all kinds of shit. He was compromising a lot of people. And made a shit ton of money doing it. God damn, he sure did. Boy, that's what's really weird. Like, he got gifted a giant mansion in Manhattan by the dude from Victoria's Secret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that guy was like, yeah, he was just running my finances. But then I didn't realize what kind of guy he was. But I gave him billions of dollars to manage. And you're like, what? That's what you do? [1:28:04] kind of a guy he was after he got arrested. [1:28:06] for having sex with underage girls. [1:28:08] So then I stopped working with him. Whew. Okay. My favorite one was when they were questioning Bill Gates about it. Mm-hmm.

[1:28:17] And he goes, well, he, you know, he's dead now, so you got to be careful. [1:28:20] Did you ever see that? No. Oh, it's crazy. That's it? That's his statement? It's crazy. She asked him why he had these interactions with Jeffrey Epstein. And he's essentially saying it was a mistake. I was hoping that he was going to do a lot of work with philanthropy. Sure. He's going to help me out with philanthropy. I can't get it. Right. That's why I meet with him so many times. But the end result, the final statement, it was chilling. He's like, he's dead now. So you have to be careful. [1:28:50] I think. [1:28:51] What? What does that mean? What do you mean? Be careful to not hang yourself in jail, which is what the official story is, right? Is that what you mean? Be careful or you'll hang yourself in jail? Is that what you're saying? No, it's not what you're saying. Be careful because someone killed them, right? Which is what we all think. [1:29:07] Which is why there's no fucking the cameras were down, which is why the guards were asleep, which is why his fucking his gigantic roommate who was a murderer and a drug dealing cop who assassinated people was built like a fucking gorilla. You see his you ever see his roommate? No. You never saw Jeffrey Epstein's roommate? Uh-uh. Oh, boy. He had a cellmate when he was there? Bro, not only did he have a cellmate, he had a cellmate that murdered several people in drug deals who was a cop. [1:29:36] He was a gigantic, roided-up psychopath. [1:29:39] This is the roommate. I remember... You can get that guy to kill him for extra cigarettes, is what my point is. He's in jail for life. I remember... Look at him. That guy? That guy. That was his fucking roommate.

[1:29:50] Just imagine what kind of a plan you would have for the biggest defendant in any sort of high-level... [1:30:02] espionage, possibly involving foreign governments, and you'd put him in [1:30:09] A prison cell, a cage with a guy who's committed four different murders. [1:30:17] That guy was a cop? Yes. Look at the build on this motherfucker. Look at the size of this guy. Yeah. [1:30:23] This is the guy? Well, he liked dogs. You put a murderer. That's nice. Yeah, he's a sweet guy. You put a murderer. [1:30:29] Well, he had to have a bunch of things barking in case anyone came near his property to get back at him. Do you remember that – [1:30:36] famous... [1:30:37] forensic [1:30:38] Michael Baden. Michael Baden. Yeah. Yeah. [1:30:40] He testified that the hyoid, I think it's called the hyoid bone. Yeah. [1:30:45] was... [1:30:46] snapped on... [1:30:48] on Epstein was far more consistent with, as he says, a homicide. Yeah. Then it bothers me so much that he says it like that. A homicide. Yeah. Yeah. [1:30:59] I think he said it was broken in two places. He's like, that's much more consistent with homicide than suicide. Yeah, it was someone strangled him. Someone strangled him from behind. It was also the position. Here it is. Play this. [1:31:12] I-- [1:31:12] That's okay.

[1:31:28] were a mistake. They didn't result in what he purported and I cut them off. You know, that goes back a long time ago now. [1:31:39] You know, so there's nothing new on that. It was reported that you continue to meet with him over several years. [1:31:46] and that, in other words, a number of meetings, [1:31:49] what did you do when you found out about his... [1:31:53] background. [1:31:54] Well, [1:31:57] You know, I've said I regretted having those dinners, and there's absolutely nothing new on that. [1:32:03] Is there a lesson for you, for... [1:32:07] Anyone else looking at this? [1:32:10] Well, he's dead. So, you know, in general, you always have to be careful. [1:32:17] And, you know, the... [1:32:19] you know i'm on [1:32:20] Very proud of what we've done in philanthropy, very proud of the work of the foundation, [1:32:25] Uh... [1:32:26] you know I [1:32:27] That's... [1:32:28] That's what I get up every day and focus on. [1:32:31] Me too. I'm a good guy. [1:32:36] Jesus Christ. Imagine if he was reading for a film. You'd be like, I don't believe a word you just said. Yeah, yeah. I don't believe a word you just said. Take two. Let's do this again. Okay, who wrote this? Yeah, yeah. He's going to just transition from hanging out with this guy. He's dead now. He's dead now. I'm really proud of the work we've done with philanthropy. Yeah. Let's shift this conversation in a much more positive place. That's a PR spin. I'm super proud of the work we've done with philanthropy.

[1:33:01] that stuff in the first place after the Microsoft stuff, because Microsoft at one point in time had all this anti-competitive accusations, right? Yeah. [1:33:11] And so he was thought as being this guy that was drowning out competition, was monopolizing. So then he pivoted, became a philanthropist. It's a good move. It is a good move. You know who else did that? [1:33:26] The guy who invented the Nobel Prize. [1:33:28] Really? Yeah. Peter Berg told me the story. It's a cool story. So he dies. The guy, I forget what his first name is. His last name is Noel Bell. He died and everybody called him the Merchant of Death because he made dynamite. [1:33:41] Oh. So he didn't really die, though. It was a fake story. So he saw the stories. He's like, "Hey, I'm not dead, but oh my God, this is how people think about me? This is how they're going to write about me after I'm dead? I got to do something to clean my image up." So to clean his image up, he invents the Nobel Prize. He starts giving out these prizes for peace and for physics and Nobel Prize. Literature. Yeah. And so then the Nobel Prize becomes synonymous with excellence. [1:34:08] The name, Nobel, is now connected to that instead of connected to killing a bunch of motherfuckers with dynamite. That's a great marketing move on his part. Isn't that nuts? Yeah. What was his real name? [1:34:18] Alfred Nobel. Alfred Nobel. [1:34:21] They made dynamite, right? That was the thing? [1:34:24] Yeah, but I'm looking at the Nobel Prize. It says there's a well-known story about the origin of the Nobel Prize, although historians have been unable to verify it, and some dismiss it as a myth. Well, let's find out if the story of him being called the merchant of death are true and the fake death story.

[1:34:41] when people thought he died. [1:34:42] Is that true? I mean, I have to... Just check that out real quick. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability. But even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. Finding the right kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. [1:35:12] you with qualified candidates instantly and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start use zip recruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day and now you can try it for free at zip recruiter.com [1:35:42] ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts.

[1:36:12] long-term contracts, and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one of many reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash rogan. [1:36:42] That's simplisafe.com slash Rogan. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Look that out. I bet it's true. That's a good marketing move. It's a move. It's a move that people do, you know? Well, that was also what, you know... [1:36:56] some really evil people have done also, you know, like... [1:37:01] If you want to like serial killers, you know, like John Wayne Gacy was like, I do clown parties for kids. Like, it's like, look over here. I'm a fun guy. [1:37:10] You know, Cosby was always like, you know, telling people how to live their life. Yeah. People don't tell dirty jokes. Yeah. Don't curse. Don't swear. Yeah. He would call people up and tell them not to swear anymore. Yeah. Get mad at them. Maddie Murphy. Oh, yeah. Famously. Yeah. With the filth floor and filth. Yeah. He did. He did do that. He did do that. I remember one time Wanda Sykes interviewed him at like some award thing. He was in the crowd and she came up to him and interviewed him.

[1:37:40] He had so much disdain. I remember that, too. Remember that? It was weird. [1:37:44] Okay, Nobel grew extremely wealthy from inventions like dynamite and blasting gelatin, which were widely used in warfare and earned him the nickname the Merchant of Death in the press. 1888, a French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary after his brother's death, condemning him as a man who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster. [1:38:01] This shock is widely seen as prompting him to rethink how he'd be remembered. [1:38:06] So it is true. There should be no dispute of this. In his will of 1895, he left most of his fortune to fund prizes for those who shall be conferred [1:38:15] The Greatest Benefit on Mankind. [1:38:18] Of course, you're dead. You don't need your money. Nobel never publicly explained his motives. Fucking duh. So historians emphasize that any account of his reason is an informed reconstruction, not a direct statement from him. [1:38:32] Okay, I get that because they're historians. Did you see how – I think it was – [1:38:37] These days you don't know what has to be confirmed or not, but it looked like on the Kennedy Center. [1:38:43] They started putting the name Trump on it? Yeah, he added his name to it. Yeah, it's crazy. [1:38:49] And he took out the Kennedy Rose Garden. You're like, what? [1:38:53] Take it away. Now it's like a cement fucking plot. [1:38:56] There's nothing nuttier than the plaques underneath the president's names. That's insane. That's insane. Shane and I were just reading them the other day. It's insane. How is this real? [1:39:04] It doesn't feel real. And you're just like, how are you allowed to do that? That's the thing. How is he allowed to write that? In the White House, you can just probably, as president, do what you want in the White House. Turns out you obviously can. Yeah. But nobody ever did it before. Those are going to get taken down. No, they'll be up forever. I don't think so. They're going to leave it like that forever. No fucking way. Yeah, like a museum piece. It's so crazy. They should have like the Trump wing. This is what happened when he was president. Look at this fucking lunatic. The auto pen photo of Joe Biden.

[1:39:34] Crazy. Crazy. This is widely considered the worst president of all. Like, what are you talking about? It should be like a museum. Yeah, it should be the facts of his presidency. What happened during his term? You know, the Iraq war started and da da da. Yeah, it should be that. Of course. That's it. [1:39:51] If that, you know. And under Reagan, it's like, Reagan liked Trump, and Trump liked him, too. Trump was a fan of Reagan. What? Why is that relevant? Reagan was a fan of Trump. What? What? [1:40:00] It's, yeah, the guy's fucking crazy. But you can't just let someone just fucking fully swim in it like that. I know. So he needs like a right-hand man. You go, sir. I think they just. Let me just, I understand the motive. Well, he's also losing it too. You can tell. Well, I think everybody does when you get to a certain age, right? Yeah, of course. I mean, the guy's about to be 80, right? And also, the stress of going through what that guy went through, [1:40:30] thing, the Russia hoax and all that shit. They were trying everything they could to destroy him. Just that alone has got to break your brain. It radicalizes you. And then they took a shot at him. Somebody shot him. Then that guy dies. And then when the guy dies, they find out that his apartment's been professionally scrubbed. [1:40:47] They find out he was in a BlackRock commercial like two years before that. He was? [1:40:53] Oh, yeah. The shooter? The shooter. [1:40:55] Oh, yeah. Was he an actor? Yeah, in the film. Yeah. But obviously he was like connected to some people that knew some people. Yeah. [1:41:02] What does that mean? It might mean nothing. Yeah. But there's also a lot of weirdness to his his past.

[1:41:08] It doesn't have a social media profile. It was like he he he seems like like an MK ultra plant. This presidency, though, does feel like a parody of. [1:41:18] a real thing. Like, it doesn't even feel real. There's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel real. For sure, the Rob Reiner thing didn't feel real. Oh, my God. That seemed so insane. You know, I didn't realize, because I obviously knew him... I knew Rob Reiner as the actor from All in the Family, which he was great in that role. And then I... [1:41:38] I have memories of like – I always think of like when Harry met Sally, the Princess Bride. Yep. [1:41:44] And I was like, oh yeah, you know, he's a spy attack. - Stand by me. - Stand by me. So I'm like, oh, you know, great storyteller, [1:41:50] comedy. I didn't realize until he died that he did Misery. [1:41:53] I had no idea that was him. Yeah, he did Misery, too. Yeah. He did so many great films. He really did. He really understood... [1:41:59] like human emotion and and storytelling across the board because like it's one thing to be proficient in comedy and you see this sometimes with comedy really high level like adam mckay did so much high level comedy with saturday night live and then you know talladega nights and and like those those big will feral movies and then his pivot into drama is like exceptional you know like he's really really good at it and it's like really remarkable when they can make [1:42:29] good yeah well Jordan Peele he's fantastic yeah another one yeah he's he's made some giant [1:42:37] horror movies that is like

[1:42:39] And he was so funny in comedy. He was so good. It's weird how good they are. [1:42:43] It's weird how different they are, too. Yeah, how they go, like, I'm comedy, I'm comedy, and then this hard pivot into a totally different lane, and be not just... [1:42:52] Let me try it, but be excellent at it. Yeah. But I kind of get it, right? It's like if you can get... [1:42:57] really good at comedy, which is a complicated thing to do, you for sure have other creative thoughts. Yeah. You have access to other things. Yeah. And you're not really probably using those. Yeah. And I think also, I think a lot of those guys get bored. Especially running a sketch show, right? Yeah. After a while, you just beat all the topics to death. Mm-hmm. You know, I mean, how many topics on, especially like a mid-sketch show, are so derivative? Yeah, of course. Yeah. There's a lot of that. And they just go, I did it. Yeah. [1:43:27] Well, you might have like nine episodes you have to bang out. Well, I don't have to tell you. You're actually in the middle of it. I'm in the middle of it. Yeah. We just finished writing season two. But you have a – your show has a giant advantage. You could just – you could go so far. Yeah. And be so ridiculous. They kind of just let us do what we want, which is really crazy. I got the same notes I got the first season. Don't say the N-word. That was basically it. That's like – that's my – that's everything else. They're like, yeah, you can do that. It's such a crazy show, dude. It's crazy. [1:43:57] It's so much fun. I had so much fun doing it. I can't believe I get to do it again, and it's just – [1:44:03] It is such a blast. We get to make these like sketches and like little short films that are like whatever we can think of, whatever the craziest thing we can think of. And they're just like, yeah, do that.

[1:44:14] And they gave us they gave me like a mandate. They're like, we'd rather tell you. [1:44:17] tell you... [1:44:19] that's too far, then you should have gone further. Right. So they're just like, you can make it as crazy as you want. That's nuts. Yeah. But that's the beautiful thing about Netflix is the variety of what's on there. It's just so bananas. It's so wide ranging. There's so much shit on there. I just watched The Beast and Me. Oh, yeah. I'm on episode three right now. Don't tell me anything. It gets so much better. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it does. [1:44:45] How good is Claire Danes? Claire Danes is amazing. [1:44:48] Matthew Reese plays. He's a psycho? Yeah. That guy's great. He's phenomenal. And he plays that. [1:44:54] Part 2. [1:44:55] so exceptionally well. It's just so good. You know people like him. This is a fucking psycho, dude. He's great at it. It's always in the eyes. You see it in the eyes. He's got a darkness in him. He really does. He ain't faking it. You know what else I just saw? I saw it on Peacock. [1:45:17] And I was like, I was like, I don't like I don't have Peacock. I'm like, I don't fuck. What are they? This is like, you know, fucking Kevin Hart in a bathtub interview. Like, I don't know what's on Peacock. Right. I love Kevin, by the way. But like, it's like, you know, I mean, like these like fun, silly. That's what I thought Peacock was or old NBC. Yeah. Reruns of like their old friends. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want to fuck it. And I got recommended to watch the day of the jackal. [1:45:40] What's that? Fucking fantastic. Really? Yeah.

[1:45:44] It's a thriller. [1:45:46] that is super high production and [1:45:50] Very cinematic, but the writing and the acting... [1:45:54] Unbelievable. Who's in it? Eddie Redmayne. I think it's his name. Eddie Redmayne is the lead in it. [1:45:59] And I don't – [1:46:01] know that many of the names of the other actors, but it's [1:46:04] incredibly produced. Is it a series? Yeah. How many episodes? So they're making season two now. I think season one was 10 episodes. Wow. [1:46:14] $20 million budget for the season? Whoa, I'm writing this down. Day of the Jackal. Day of the Jackal was excellent. [1:46:20] Yeah. Okay. This is it. Let's get them through the trailer and watch it. [1:46:23] Let's watch this fucking trailer. That's Eddie. [1:46:28] It's really good, dude. [1:46:30] I couldn't believe how... [1:46:32] captivated I was by it. [1:46:34] really really well done it's like an espionage type of thriller those are my favorite mine too [1:46:42] But this is what I watch instead of, you know, we were talking about comedy. I watch this shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too. [1:46:48] Yeah. He's really good in it, but so is everybody else. They're really, really good. All right. [1:46:53] Okay. I don't want to see anymore. Can't recommend it enough. Okay. I'm on it. Really good. Yeah, there's enough shit to watch these days. I'll tell you that. Do you watch Dave? If you're sick. What? Do you watch Dave's special? [1:47:04] Dave Chappelle? No, I didn't see it yet. That's great. [1:47:07] I saw some clips. [1:47:08] That's right. I mean, it's... [1:47:10] It's vintage. It's Dave. Yeah. Like, it hits... [1:47:13] he does what he does.

[1:47:16] So well, there's silliness, you know, seriousness, seriousness, some philosophy, lots of social commentary, provocative things. [1:47:26] hilarious. [1:47:27] It's good. It's really good. I'll check it out. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. He's always awesome. He never misses. He doesn't. I mean, he pissed a lot of people off, which is always fun. Yeah. I saw he went after Bill Maher. [1:47:39] Yeah, he's a fuck that dude. I never said this publicly, but fuck that dude. It's very funny. It's a good special, man. It's really good. It's funny. Dave's in top form. I love that for me, by the way, because my special comes out [1:47:53] Christmas Eve. [1:47:55] Right? And [1:47:57] And then six days later, Ricky Gervais comes out. Oh, yeah. [1:48:00] And that was supposed to be – that was the release timeline, right? They're like – [1:48:05] There's one earlier in the month. They're like, you'll be Christmas Eve. [1:48:09] A week later... [1:48:10] Ricky Gervais. I was like, cool. [1:48:13] And then like three days prior, I get a call before it's announced. And they're like, hey, we got to tell you we're dropping a special – [1:48:19] unannounced Chappelle special tonight. And I go, great. And they're like, I know, you know, it's going to take up a lot of [1:48:28] oxygen in the room obviously because it's Dave, right? I go, yeah, I mean I understand. I go, you realize this is like being a musical artist and I've been working on my album and you guys are like, we're so excited and then you call me and you're like, just so you know, [1:48:40] Tomorrow we're releasing Radiohead's new album. And you're like, thanks. [1:48:45] There's nothing you can do. It's like the biggest guy is coming out with it. But it's hilarious. He's great. But people will watch it. It's only an hour. And then they're going to want to watch more. That's one of the thoughts. It just makes stand-up more popular. 100%. I think so. Stand-up is very popular right now. It's incredibly popular. I just saw Nate Bregassi added a 3 p.m. show out here.

[1:49:10] Nate. [1:49:11] is on... But Nate's thing makes sense when you think about it. Oh, yeah. When you start doing stand-up, there's this thing that happens. When you're early on, young, doing stand-up, and you start to do spots, a lot of people will be like, hey... [1:49:25] If you can curse less, be clean. And you're like, that's not who I am. And they're like, all right, well, and they always say this thing, like you'll get more opportunities. Different opportunities will come to you if you're like that. Right. You're like, whatever. It's just, I don't do that. And when you're really funny. [1:49:41] Like Nate is. And you get really good. [1:49:44] what you see on the business side of it is that, [1:49:48] When he announces the show... [1:49:51] Like when I announce the show, a couple might go like, let's go see him. [1:49:53] Right? Like, they'll buy two tickets. But when Nate announces the show, that couple will bring their children together [1:50:00] Their parents... [1:50:01] Their in-laws, their neighbors. So two tickets you can sell, he can sell 12. And everybody's going to enjoy it. And they're all going to enjoy it. It's for everybody. Even though it's just clean, it's always clean, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. He's really funny. But he's really funny and clean. Gaffigan has that thing too. Definitely. The whole family can go. Sebastian has that thing too. You can bring anybody to see Sebastian. And they'll all have a good time. But yeah, he can do three fucking marina shows in a city. It's crazy. Yeah, it is nuts. [1:50:31] that now like what I mentioned Sebastian you Bert Tony I mean there's Shane Shane's doing a football arena that's crazy a stadium yeah he's doing like 90,000 people yeah Lincoln Financial I think it is just there's people doing that now there were there's so many of them where when we were coming up the only people that had done it were Dane and

[1:50:53] And Dice Clay. Dice, yeah. It was Dice Clay and Dan Kirk. And for that, you have to just, you go like, that is the internet, man. [1:51:00] The Internet made stand-up global. Well, the Internet made Dane. [1:51:03] Right, right. That's how it was. He got huge from MySpace. He was the first guy. The fact is so many of us can move those kinds of tickets. Oh, yeah. It's because it's global. A hundred percent. When it was just like, hey, catch my special at Comedy Central at nine o'clock on Friday. Right. It's not going to have the same reach. Right, right. Now it's just clips to clips get shared. And then there's so much word of mouth. It's like that's the one good thing about social media is if something comes out and people like it, [1:51:33] dropped or a new song or anything it just gets shared it just gets shared so easy yeah and things just they just take off i know i it's it's why i never i did 40 arenas this year like i i never i was never thinking that would be a thing you know i remember when i met you yeah i met you in 2007 we did that uh real men of comedy tour together yeah if we i met you in phoenix we did that [1:52:03] Celebrity Theater. That's right. That place is awesome. That's one of my favorites. In the round. It spins. It's awesome. That place rules. And I always love Phoenix, period. They're fun. [1:52:13] That's a fun place. Yeah, that's a really good place. Yeah, I went back there on this tour, too. I went to the – I did the – [1:52:20] the big arena there this time it was fucking amazing it was one of my favorite shows of this tour yeah it's phoenix rules yeah i've done the arena in phoenix too it's fucking fun man they're fun it's a fun city yeah because they don't have much culture but they do a lot of blow they do they like to party they party hard phoenix arizona just parties hard they party hard well it's like think about the people that had to settle that place first and you get cowboys and mexicans just

[1:52:50] Scottsdale, which is all rich people. I remember we went to dinner yesterday. [1:52:53] I think the night before. [1:52:55] just like a steakhouse. And we were just like, we were like observing that when you go to dinner, [1:53:01] At a steakhouse in Phoenix, it feels like an after party, but it's just dinner. You know what I mean? The vibe in there is that people are having a fucking good time. They're partying. Yeah. That's what Phoenix feels like. Yeah. I always liked it because it was not Hollywood in every way. [1:53:19] It was just not Hollywood. Those people had no preconceived ideas of their own celebrity. They didn't want to become famous. The problem with L.A. is the entire culture is wrapped around the possibility that you might become famous. Yeah. And that everybody really secretly wants to become famous, and some people might make it and some people won't. But the reason they came there in the first place is because they wanted to be famous. [1:53:41] Phoenix, they just want Coke. [1:53:44] Get some Coke. We're going to have a fucking party. I'm going to play golf in the day, and I'm doing Coke at night. I'm having a good fucking time. They're wild people. That theater thing, too, there's – I don't know if I'm right about this, but I've been told that there's only two, maybe three – [1:53:59] There's theaters left in the round in the country. That's the only one that I know of. Well, there's the one in Long Island that I also did that was – it's so fucking fun. Which one's that? Westbury Music Hall, I think it's called. Oh, okay. Is that what it's called? I've heard of that place. I didn't know that was in the round, too. That's in the round. It is so fucking fun. The round rules. I just did it. I did it a couple months ago. It was one of the most fun shows of the entire tour. I try to explain to people who have never done it. Like, oh, Marina. I'm like, I'm telling you, it's oddly intimate because everybody's facing everybody else. We're all in this together.

[1:54:29] just a mass of people staring at a stage. Right. We're all wrapped up together. Yes. It's cooler. It's cool. Yeah. It's a better vibe. It feels better. You would love this theater. [1:54:39] I'm sure. Yeah. It's fucking rad. I love that Phoenix one. That one rules. [1:54:44] But do any show that you could do in the round? It's like the first time I did it, I remember. I don't understand. Where do I move? I think the first one I did was when we met. Yeah. Because I was also – It might have been my first one too. I was kind of like – [1:54:54] I was intimidated. I was like, what the fuck? And then somebody told me once, it might have been Louis told me that I think it was him that told me. [1:55:02] when I was doing the, like going into arenas, he's like, you're, [1:55:06] Your instinct will be to stay in the middle. [1:55:09] but you should go further out to the edges. Because when you're further out to the edges, [1:55:13] Outside of the stage that's in the round, you're actually – [1:55:18] open to more people. Does that make sense? Yes. Because if you're on this edge of the round stage, more people can see you over here. Right. And you're closer to them. And you're closer to them, too. Yeah. It's more intimate. If you're in the middle, it's like you're all standoffish. You have so much. You can come closer to me. Yeah. Why are you all the way over there? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Walking around, too, is fun. That, to me, is I told somebody... [1:55:39] is what I think makes my performance better, is that I'm a naturally kind of standstill guy. Yeah. But the round makes me move. Even though it's subtle movement, that keeps you more engaged because there's a constant movement to it. Even if it's slow, it's fun. [1:55:56] It is a fun thing. Yeah, it's fun. [1:55:58] And it is weird that so many of us get to do that now. It's so bizarre. It wasn't the case at all.

[1:56:05] It's so bizarre. I did some nutty ones with Dave. We did the Tacoma Dome. That was 25,000 people. That was so nuts. It was so nuts. It was so many people, man. That's so many. [1:56:17] That's so many. It's very strange. I did a couple with you guys. [1:56:21] I did... [1:56:23] I did New Orleans with you guys. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that was fun. And I think we did Nashville or something, or Memphis together, too. Yeah, I think it was Nashville. The most fun one, though, ever. [1:56:32] I think this will always be in my memory, is when we did... [1:56:37] the like... [1:56:38] Vegas is back. [1:56:40] Oh yeah. In the round. Oh yeah, that was fun. At the MGM arena. Yeah, that was fun. And we were, I was unannounced. Yeah. And a couple other people were too. I forget who was on that. [1:56:49] But I remember... [1:56:50] The absolute absolute. [1:56:52] like pandemonium of that place where I was like shaking because it was like things had been shut down and they're like this show is back the shows are back and this is the show to open Vegas again I don't think we'll ever feel that again not like that hopefully not because that means that the world went crazy again that's exactly right and it was like you can't duplicate that you can't [1:57:17] Like an off-the-cuff line. [1:57:19] Of something that just happened. You can't manufacture that. You said the thing because this happened. And the world had shut down. And they're like, here's a stand-up show in the round, in the arena. Joe, Dave, and the crowd was just like, I mean, it was like a fever pitch. There were so many people hanging out backstage. Remember that? Oh, my God. There were so many people. I was like, I've never seen this many celebrities at our shows. There was a room. They were like, this is the red room.

[1:57:46] And this was backstage, and there was like 200 people in there. Oh, so packed. And I brought you in there because you didn't know about it either. I was like, have you been in here? And you're like, what the fuck is all this? It's a whole extra room. A whole extra room of just people hanging out. Yeah, a whole extra room of comics that I hadn't seen in years. Because everybody was kind of celebrating the fact that we could do shows again. It was the best. They all came out. That was such a special show. Yeah. [1:58:09] I mean, there was boxers there and rappers. It was like people were out. [1:58:14] It's like there's something to do again. It's like there was a feeling in the air. [1:58:19] It was so – and people – some people were still scared. There were still people wearing masks. Yeah. It was weird. It was July. I remember that. It was July. [1:58:26] Some people just didn't want to let it go. They were still connected to this idea that we could all die at any moment. Yeah, that's true. [1:58:34] I still see those people. Yeah, they're still in some places. There's some people that got broken. They got broken. [1:58:41] They got broken. The stress of that whole thing. It also kind of depends on who you're around, too, right? Oh, yeah. Because, I mean, I think you could put me with... [1:58:49] certain people, then I would have been even more apprehensive. Well, that was the thing that I felt about coming here like really quickly. [1:58:58] that people here were not nearly as scared as people are in California. The whole attitude of the government here was very different. They were like, things should stay open. I remember I went and met with the governor and had dinner with him. And he was like, you know, we got to let people live their lives. They need freedom. [1:59:13] Yeah. Like, you should be able to make your own decisions doing this. I was like, yeah, I agree. And this was, like, before the vaccine. Really? Yeah.

[1:59:20] And people had already started doing shows out here. We started doing shows out here early. We tested everybody. Remember we did those Stubb shows? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Dave and I did these shows at Stubbs. We did a whole series of shows. Which is an outdoor venue. Yeah. And we tested the whole crowd. So we tested these people for like... [1:59:39] An hour before the show, everybody queued up. Everybody got tested. And we only wound up removing like two different people that were positive. That's it? Yeah. Yeah. [1:59:48] Yeah. Most people knew that they weren't sick, you know, and we weren't doing PCR. Right. Which is the one that really gets a lot of false positives. [1:59:56] They found out recently there was an estimate that PCR testing the false positives might have been as high as 86 percent. [2:00:05] 86? Yeah. Yeah. [2:00:07] The guy who invented the PCR testing, Kerry Mullis, said it should never be used to detect diseases. It's like it's not what it's for. And he said if you ramp the cycles up high enough, you could find almost anything in people. [2:00:20] I did something that was shameful. I had to test for a trip somewhere. [2:00:26] And then I had to do it on a Zoom with somebody. And it came out positive, so I threw it out the window. [2:00:33] And then they were like, where is it? I go, my kid just threw out the window. [2:00:39] And they're like, what was it? I was like, I don't remember. I'll do it again. And then I just waited a week.

[2:00:47] I remember the second time I tested positive. So I tested positive once. That was a whole horse dewormer CNN thing. And then the second time I tested positive, I didn't even know I had it. I couldn't believe it was real. I came in here sniffily. [2:01:02] I came in here straight from the gym, and I said, I got the sniffles. I said to Mercy, the nurse, I said... [2:01:08] I go, must be COVID. Just joking around. [2:01:11] And she goes, actually, you're positive. I'm like, no fucking way. Like, no way. Because you felt fine. Yeah. [2:01:18] So I got IV vitamin drip, NAD, the whole deal. 24 hours later, I was negative. That NAD shit's amazing. Amazing. And also, I'll say this, and this is... [2:01:27] I'm telling you, I have, knock on wood, I have not gotten sick of this. [2:01:32] In a while. Oh, yeah. You're healthy now. I'm healthy. That's how it works. That's how it works. [2:01:38] During the movie I did over the summer... [2:01:41] And during production on series... [2:01:43] for season one of my show. [2:01:46] There were days like I remember the first day we were shooting bad thoughts. Season one. [2:01:51] I was getting a cold. [2:01:53] And I did NAD. [2:01:55] like 500 milligrams or whatever, like the high dose. [2:01:59] three days in a row [2:02:00] And I was no longer – and I had never experienced anything like that because I was the type of person where like I get a cold and I am – [2:02:06] fucked for like weeks. And then the next time that I felt [2:02:12] You know, you're like, oh, I'm getting sick. [2:02:15] it would [2:02:16] I was like, I'm doing the NAD thing again. Three days in a row, just jamming that shit into me, like high dosage.

[2:02:22] completely went away. That's crazy. It didn't dip into like, now you're really sick. It just was like, I'm getting sick. I'm not sick anymore. Yeah. [2:02:30] That was part of my COVID routine. The first time I had COVID, I did NAD along with IV vitamins. I don't even think I mentioned NAD. [2:02:37] When I did that little video that went viral. But that was, I recommend that to anybody whenever they get sick. It's unbelievable. High dose of vitamin C is amazing too. [2:02:49] Amazing. I can't believe it. Yeah. High dose vitamins intravenously when you're not feeling well is phenomenal because it gives your body all the weapons that it needs to fight off whatever the fuck it's dealing with. I feel like doing it tomorrow. You should do it tomorrow. Yeah. You should do it all the time. You know what else you should start doing? Like I told you, red light bed. I know. You've been on that for a minute. Yeah. It's amazing. It's incredible. You said it helps your vision? It helped my vision. 100%. I don't even understand that. Well, red light. I understand the skin stuff. Red light helps. It gets. [2:03:19] Let's put that into our sponsor perplexity. What is the benefits that red light has on your vision? Why does it work? [2:03:26] But it works, 100%. I can tell you for a fact. There's two things that I've done. [2:03:31] One thing, I've taken a lot of supplements for eyesight. I always talk about this company, Pure Encapsulations. I have no affiliation with them. I just buy their stuff. They have a thing called macular support. Yeah. Yeah, I take that stuff. So I take that stuff, and I've been very consistent with that. It has a bunch of nutrients. I showed it to Huberman, and he went over the list, and he was like, oh, this is all great stuff. I take that, and I do red light multiple days a week. And it took a while.

[2:03:58] In the beginning, I thought it was actually making my eyesight worse because I was like – Because your eyes are covered during it. No, I keep them open. You keep your eyes open? Yeah, red light therapy using deep red wavelengths around 670 nm. I don't know what they mean, nanometers? Shows promise in improving declining vision by boosting mitochondrial function in the retinal cells. [2:04:19] Studies indicate benefits, particularly for age-related vision loss, that's me, macular degeneration, and other eye conditions. Morning exposure appears most effective, with effects lasting up to a week. [2:04:30] So I do it. [2:04:32] I try to do it three times a week. How long do you do it for? I do it 20 minutes. It says short sessions, like three minutes weekly, can enhance color contrast vision by 17 to 20 percent adults over 34 with greater gains in older participants. That's me. All right. I'm getting it. It makes a big difference. Therapy supports retinal health by reducing inflammation, improving visual acuity, and slowing photoreceptor decline. [2:05:02] Retinopathy. [2:05:04] It works. It works. I'm telling you it works 100% with me. I used to struggle reading the screen sometimes. It would be kind of blurry. I'd have to like, Jamie, make it bigger. Now I can see things way better than I used to be. I wear glasses. When I said Jamie, make it bigger, I used to. I wear glasses all the time now. I don't need them when I look at text messages anymore. I don't need them when I read emails anymore. And I don't need them on my computer anymore, which is a big one. That's a big one. Because I always used it. [2:05:27] when I wrote. [2:05:28] And then I realized the other day, like, oh, my God, I'm writing and I don't have my glasses on. Joey Diaz will be so happy if I...

[2:05:34] What are you doing with those fucking glasses? He goes, you're wearing your glasses. I called him up today. I go, I'm doing a podcast with Securios. He met Pepe Le Pew over there in France, and now he's making croissants. Who's this fucking guy with his glasses? Glasses. He's always on me for that. By the way, I mean, that's Joey Diaz. That's Joey Diaz. It's not Pepe Le Pew. His name is Gian Basta, and it's Italian. It's an Italian bakery. Yes. Well, it's a problem. It is a problem. That chocolate croissant you gave me is a real problem. Telling you. [2:06:04] and perfect. It's perfect, dude. It's why I fell in love. I'd like a little more chocolate in there. I can tell him. I can tell him. A little more chocolate. Just a little. Don't be stingy with the chocolate. I fell in love with that chocolate croissant when I lived in LA. [2:06:16] And that, you know, that guy was in my neighborhood. Oh. That's how this all started. That's a problem. And I would walk down there and sometimes I would buy like two dozen. [2:06:26] And then I would walk, I would walk back to my house and I would give away croissants to people walking down the street. I'd be like, you got to try these. Just regular people? Regular people. I didn't even know them. I just got these croissants. What if they thought you were psycho? I mean, I guess they didn't, but they, they would take them. [2:06:39] And I would – I mean, I didn't give them all away. I would eat a lot of them too. But I stayed in touch with this guy and I would – [2:06:47] Every once in a while I would go there and I would... [2:06:50] I would get some of their pastries, and I would do like an Instagram video. [2:06:53] Like, hey, I'm at this place. [2:06:55] And I would just say it. And then I became friends with them. And they'd go, hey, you know, when you do that, there were like 100 people came today. I was like, oh, that's cool. It was just like a friend. There was no business really. I was just doing it because I liked it. We always stayed in touch. And I moved here.

[2:07:08] And I go, when I'm in L.A., I'm going to try to stop by and see you guys, that kind of thing. [2:07:12] And we stayed in touch, and I always be like, it would be awesome if you opened one in Austin. That conversation continued, and then eventually – [2:07:20] We talked like, hey, what if we really did this? And that conversation started like over a year ago. [2:07:25] And then... [2:07:26] Our fixed location will open in March, but we have a pop-up right now. I just don't know how you have the time for all this. Well, I'm not – here's the thing. I'm not the one – [2:07:35] Like I don't bake. Right. You know, I'm I'm the I'm a business partner in this and I I market it in that I promote it. But the the easiest thing is to market something that's that's fantastic. Right. And I actually thought about the fact that I was like, for me. [2:07:52] This is like... [2:07:53] Like people trust your opinion on, [2:07:56] on [2:07:57] One of the reasons I think that Onnit was successful with you is, [2:08:00] is that they're like, this guy knows... [2:08:03] He knows vitamins. He knows like they you have credibility in that. [2:08:07] You know what I mean? Like having credibility in something is really important. For me, it's like [2:08:12] If there's one thing I completely trust myself on is if I'm like, this tastes good. I don't doubt it. I'm like, this is good. I know what it's good. I've eaten at the best restaurants all over the world. And this is like my favorite. One of my favorite things has always been croissants and things like this. So when I had his and I knew they were amazing, it was like, there's no like I'm selling it. I'm not like being like, oh, you should, you know, I'm making up. This shit's amazing. So all I do is go like, it's open.

[2:08:40] It's fucking amazing. And we've sold out every day. That's incredible. We've never not sold out. Well, once you eat one of them, I get it. [2:08:47] Yeah, it's fucking... I got it. And he's... [2:08:49] always coming up with like I at first I was like we're opening a croissant place but he's doing like you know uh like the homemade focaccia bread Italian sandwiches he does homemade pizza it's all every day and he's whatever like inspires him he makes that it's all he's amazing so it's like the [2:09:08] This is my bakery. Food. Yeah. I fucking love it. Such a drug. I've thought about doing that with an Italian deli. [2:09:15] Yeah. I've talked to Giovanni very briefly. The guy in New York? Yeah. That place? [2:09:21] Opening up one of those out here. How incredible would that be? Incredible. Those sandwiches, me and Joe DeRosa, we send each other sandwiches. Yeah. Joe has his sandwich place. His sandwich place is great. Joey Rose's is fucking great. I sent him this place in Toronto. God, what is it called? Something Crudo. Hold on a second. I'll find it. [2:09:41] What happened to the iPhone... [2:09:44] made everything different. [2:09:45] Where'd you put it all? There you go. Is that it? Search in the bottom. Crudo pizza? That's it. [2:09:50] It's in Toronto. The Sandwiches. [2:09:53] Go to their Instagram. If you can go. Where's this Crudo Pizza up there? That's their Instagram. Go down to their Instagram and find some of their fucking sandwiches, bro. Look at these fucking sandwiches. Oh, yeah. [2:10:04] Bro, look at these sandwiches with their homemade bread. Look at these are insane. And the bread's got a nice little char on it. And the bread comes out piping hot from the oven and they make the sandwich. And it's piping hot bread. Show me one of them videos where they're pulling the sandwiches out and making them.

[2:10:22] Because there's a few where you get to see how hot the bread is. [2:10:26] Scroll down a little bit. [2:10:28] Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. Go up. No, no, no. [2:10:31] Oh, look at that, Tommy. No, no, you missed it. Watch this when he cuts it open. [2:10:37] Oh, look at that. [2:10:40] Look at this. [2:10:43] Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Look how insane that is. This is my drug. [2:10:48] Like this is if I have a problem with food, it's this. Yeah. It's Italian cold cut sandwiches. [2:10:53] And pasta. Yeah. Those are the problems. I have a real problem with not eating that. Do you know he's a olive oil on it? Look how he seals it up. Look at this. [2:11:01] Oh, look how it comes out of the oven, bro. Are you kidding me? You know what my guy started making now? What? Like he's just on a whim. He's like, I made lasagna today. Oh, no. And then he's doing like different versions of it. Did one with like brisket in it. Like just crazy things. And it just goes. Of course. Yeah. It's called, by the way, it's called chichobomba, which is what you call. That's the name of it? Yeah, it's the name of the bakery. It's called chichobomba, which is what you call a little fat ass kid in Italy. [2:11:27] His bombas like explode. So like when it gets a little fat ass. That's funny. [2:11:31] A fat ass. Yeah, it's called A Little Fat Ass. A Little Fat Ass Kid. Yeah. [2:11:34] That's hilarious. Yeah. Great idea, dude. Yeah. He's awesome. Him and Marlo are awesome. It's hard staying thin, isn't it? Especially now you're in the 180s. You could let it go. You could let it go. I could let it go. Oh, yeah. Look at you. Look at you. He got excited about letting it go. Yeah. Let it go. I own a bakery. Yeah. Just fucking not text your trainer back. Fuck you. Fuck you. And when I stop by there, too, it's like I have access to all of this. Yeah. You could eat free. Oh, yeah. Just whatever you want. You can have them make you things.

[2:12:04] I take a bite of things, and I'm like, that's delicious. And then I stop myself. I'll let myself... [2:12:10] Have a full thing, but not every day, dude. Not even every few days. Like once a week, maybe. When I used to come home from the store, two things were a problem. One of them was Jerry's Famous Deli. Remember Jerry's Famous Deli? They're gone now. Isn't that amazing? Jerry's Deli's gone? Jerry's Deli's gone. There was one in Woodland Hills. That's gone. That was the one I used to go to all the time. I think they're all gone now. [2:12:33] I don't know if any of them still exist. [2:12:35] Hopefully one still exists. Jerry's Famous Delivery is fucking great. They had the best chicken noodle soup, man. It ruled. And they had pastrami Rubens. Oh, pastrami Rubens with steak fries. They were so good. And if I was hungry coming home from the store, that would be the spot. The other spot that was a real problem was Krispy Kreme motherfucking donuts. Yeah. I would drive by and I'd see that hot sign on. [2:12:58] Cheeseburgers, too, are a problem. And now it's a problem. It's a problem. It's a problem. There was that one in West Hollywood that I used to love. [2:13:05] the name of that place. [2:13:07] It was right near where I was working in post-production. The burgers were fucking unbelievable. Another problem was Cantor's. [2:13:14] Yeah, Cantor's Deli. I think that's why it's still open. They were open 24 hours a day. That was post-show fun. Always. Yeah. Great post-show spot. I told you this before, because you know the power of delusion is strong, is that when I would tour with you, this is like... [2:13:28] I would say like 2009, 10 years. [2:13:32] Delta Terminal used to be Terminal 5 at LAX. Sometimes we would get back.

[2:13:38] and we would land because we would land in the morning, right? We did the show the night before. They had a... [2:13:44] like a little deli bakery coffee place. [2:13:47] That had really good chocolate croissants. Oh, I remember that place. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes we would walk by and you'd get one. I was like, well, Joe got one. I should get one. Like, he's in shape. I'm in shape. This isn't bad. Like, I just tell myself, like, you can eat this. Because you love those. I remember those. Chocolate croissants rule. That's why when you brought this one, I was like, oh, that's a problem. It's a problem. But they weren't as good as that. No. Fuck no. The ones at LAX were pretty good. They were okay. This is like a – it's not no shit. This is like a three-day process. [2:14:17] for them to make a bachelor's. - Really? - Yeah. Yeah, like proofing the bread, and it stays in this cabinet, and they pull, I mean, it's a whole process. And it's, he has a, he makes like sfogliatella, which is like, it's-- - Okay, I said it that way. [2:14:30] And bomboloni Just like incredible pastries man That like when you see them You're just like don't get fat Bro it's so easy to get fat [2:14:39] Getting fat's a giant problem. And the older you get, you're just like, this could be real easy. Especially if you've got obligations, you've got things to do, and you're tired, you're working. I need structure, dude. That's what I've learned. I get it. I need structure. I need peace and quiet, so I like working out by myself. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, I like working out with comics sometimes. I do those comic workouts here. Those are really fun. Yeah. [2:15:03] But for me, like my time working out when I'm like suffering by myself, I need that. Yeah. I need by myself. I don't want anybody talking to me about what they saw in the news. Just asking me quotes. Zone out. You know, what's J.D. Vance like? Yeah. I don't.

[2:15:24] I just... We have a battle of demons. One of my problems is... [2:15:29] When I get, and I know this from Pat, like you just realize you have patterns. Mm-hmm. [2:15:34] is that when I get to like a... [2:15:36] Good place. [2:15:38] Relax. Yeah, and I do it when people are like, "You look good." Yeah. And then I go, "Oh, I'm done." You know? That's been my pattern. So this time I've just been like, [2:15:50] Do not... [2:15:52] accept that thought. Yeah. You know? [2:15:54] Thank you. [2:15:55] Yeah, you can't. [2:15:57] There's no end. [2:15:57] There's no end. There's no finish line. Yeah. [2:16:00] It doesn't exist. Every day is a new, unique little battle with your inner bitch. It's really the truth. It is the truth. That's what it is. Every day. You wake up. You go to war with your inner bitch. [2:16:12] That's why it's good to beat it early. [2:16:13] beat that fucker down early. Get in the cold water. Freeze your fucking dick off. Yeah. Get that fucking workout in. Get in the sauna afterwards. And then you're good. [2:16:23] I'm good today. Today. Today. [2:16:26] But the food is the bigger challenge for me. Like, I won't say that, like, workouts aren't hard. They're hard. And, like, I like it. [2:16:33] I like the challenge. [2:16:34] Staying on top of, like, how to eat is the bigger challenge. Well, there's a problem, too, with all these new medical advancements. And one of them is there's a new peptide that they're showing is essentially like exercise in an injection. [2:16:50] Is that sloop? [2:16:52] I don't know what it is. I read some article about it quite a while ago, and I sent it to Brigham. I go, what is this? He's like, dude, there's so much stuff on the horizon, so much groundbreaking stuff. But you're basically going to be able to get the benefits of exercise in a peptide, so it will trick your body to think you exercise. I mean, Sloop does that. Is that what it is? That's one of the ones that does it. It's in a pill form, right? I haven't heard about it. It's called Sloop? Yeah. Yeah.

[2:17:13] Yeah. Have you taken that? I have taken it, yeah. I don't have any right now. What do you do for it? You got some on you? Listen, I'm like a crack addict. If you tell me something will be good, I'll be like, cool. I'll inject like 40 things into myself. Yeah. What does this sloop do? What does it do for you? [2:17:28] They tested it on mice and found that by giving it to mice, they decreased their body fat and increased lean mass. Doing nothing? Doing nothing. Wow. And so then they have started to – that's it right there. Sloop 332, yeah. Okay. In obese mouse models, Sloop 332 reduced fat gain by up to tenfold compared to controls, promoted 12% body weight loss and enhanced metabolic function without altering appetite or activity levels. Yeah. [2:17:58] Yeah, it's exercise. It's exercise, dude. Exercise in a peptide. And you took it in a pill? Yeah. And so what did it feel like when you took it? Nothing. [2:18:06] nothing I'm getting that shit tomorrow I'm on it let's go what happened to you pecker did it get excited hell yeah rock hard 24 7 that's what these god damn things do and you can just buy that stuff [2:18:19] Or is that a prescription thing? I don't think it's a prescription. No, you can just buy it. But I think you just have to like – Go to a compound pharmacy or something? That kind of place, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're trying to shut those places down. Are they? FDA? They want to own all that stuff. There you go. There it is. Bam, Amazon. All over Amazon. All over Amazon. Good or not, I don't know. I don't know. Check your own sources. One of the things that I've read about Amazon is that there's a lot of fake supplements on Amazon. Are there? Yeah. Yeah.

[2:18:44] Because how does that work? How are they even getting up on Amazon? I think – well, that's a whole different thing. But they're just copying the labels and stuff and making it look like it. I've heard that's a problem with pure encapsulations. So I started buying their stuff from their website. [2:18:59] When you're a small business owner, you're always looking for the next big thing. Whether you're a gym owner looking to expand, a store stocking up for a busy season, or a restaurant owner planning a new menu. [2:19:10] you'll always need capital to grow. [2:19:12] But traditional banks are making it harder than ever to secure a small business loan. [2:19:17] That's why thousands of business owners trust Cardiff for same-day funding. [2:19:21] Their online application takes less than five minutes and won't impact your personal credit score. [2:19:27] With over two decades of expertise, it's no surprise business owners keep voting Cardiff, America's favorite small business lender. [2:19:35] If you've been operating for at least a year and are earning at least $20,000 a month in revenue, [2:19:39] Apply now for up to $500,000 in same-day business funding at cardiff.co.rogan. [2:19:46] Again, that's cardiff.co slash rogan. Cardiff. Borrow better. [2:19:52] This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew, the number one brand for better sex. Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. Blue Chew Gold. Blue Chew has made it easy for 5 million men to get hard, but now they've made it easier to get horny too. Blue Chew Gold gets your brain and body on the same page fast. Other options just help blood flow, but gold combines

[2:20:22] and two, boost arousal and intimacy. So for a good time, go to BlueChew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third free with promo code ROGAN. You also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Blue Chew is number one for a reason. [2:20:52] Because I read that. Because I read that like a high percentage was fraud. I don't know if you've ever researched this, but apparently when I was in Abu Dhabi, [2:21:02] They were like, they have what's considered some of the cleanest... [2:21:06] vitamins [2:21:07] Like people go there just to get vitamins in the UAE. [2:21:11] Really? Yeah, like really high-level vitamins for some reason. And I don't know what the thought is on that, but a lot of people that travel in that region go to UAE to get their vitamins. [2:21:21] That's interesting. I don't know if their standard is just higher. [2:21:25] Well, they have so much money. They do have a lot of money. And they also, you know, Shake Talk Noon is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt. He's a bad motherfucker. Yeah, a Henzo Gracie black belt. And he's the one that created this Abu Dhabi Combat Club, the championship. [2:21:39] He's also incredibly fit. Yeah. His cardio is – I was talking to someone. No, he's a legit black belt. He's a Henzo Gracie black belt. It's like there's levels of black belts out there. You heard about a guy got a black belt from this guy. I never heard of that guy. I don't know who that guy is, but I'm sure it was good. Yeah. And then you hear about someone got a black belt from Henzo. You're like, oh. Oh. Like Guy Ritchie is a Henzo Gracie black belt. Really? Yeah. Guy Ritchie is super legit, man. Yeah. I know guys have rolled with him. They're like, dude, he's legit.

[2:22:07] Yeah. Which is – it's like a Jake Paul thing. Like you don't think, all right, fucking Jake Paul, you can't fight. What's his name? Isn't the guy from Married with Children? Ed O'Neill. Legit Gracie Black Belt. Yeah. He got his Black Belt from Horian or – I think Horian or – [2:22:23] At least that school. We got it from Gracie Torrance. That was a surprise one to me. I was like, really? Oh, he's legit too. Yeah. I sat next to him once on a plane randomly. And we spent the entire flight just talking about jiu-jitsu. Really? He was so excited. Oh, that's cool. There he is. Yes. [2:22:40] 2007. Yeah, Horry and Gracie. I was right. [2:22:42] Two decades of training under Horian Grace. That is another. 42. Wow. That's another very legit black belt. You get a black belt from Horian, like you have a real black belt. But he's a big guy, man. He was a football player back in the day. Wow. Yeah. [2:22:56] That's awesome, man. Yeah, he's legit. So we were just – like I said, we were just randomly on a plane, and we just started talking about jiu-jitsu. We were both like little kids. Really? Yeah. That's cool. Then I ran into him another time randomly. [2:23:08] in Hawaii. [2:23:09] In the ocean. I was in the ocean. I ran into him. That's cool. I was like, hey, what are you doing, man? [2:23:14] Thank you. [2:23:15] He's great. I think he's a super talented guy. Very nice guy, too. Easy guy to talk to, like a regular person. You know, there's certain actors I feel like we have to get through this. [2:23:25] little wall of are you cool yeah yeah is this okay to talk to you yeah be mean to me like is this yeah yeah yeah it's like a thing and they think they get weird around comics too because they don't want to wind up in your act i got so lucky

[2:23:40] doing that movie over the summer in that I had like the best – [2:23:44] Like actors, like as far as like just fun, awesome people. Oh, that's nice. You know what I mean? Did you know they were fun before you worked with them? No. And you know what was funny is that their regular act, like they go from like set to set to set. Right. Right. [2:23:56] And they kept telling me, they were like, you know, this is like really special what's happening here. And I'd be like, what do you mean? They're like, this is awesome. Everyone's having the best time every day. Everyone's hanging out. We're all going to dinner together. We're hanging out on weekends. Everyone likes each other. It was like the best experience. I think actors sometimes are so competitive with each other. Yeah. We didn't – none of that. People were just – and when you do have – [2:24:16] a cool vibe like we had, everyone's just trying to make every scene better. Right. You know? And, like, you want the guy to be – like, I want him to be super funny in this because it's going to be funny in the movie. Well, it's like stereotypes get created because of the worst people in whatever category you're talking about. And if you're talking about actors, it's not all of them. Some of them are really cool. Yeah, of course. Like Chris Pratt. I've hung out with that guy a bunch of times. He's really cool. Yeah. Easy to hang out with. Giant movie star. Yeah. But, like, so normal. [2:24:46] I went elk hunting with that guy. Really? Yes. Super cool guy to everybody. Like, easy to talk to. We're eating dinner together, all hanging out with guys. Fucking so normal. It's rare. Just happens to be a famous actor. Yeah, yeah. That's so normal. But there's guys like that that you meet them, and you go, oh, okay. Like Woody Harrelson, the fucking nicest guy, man. Woody seems awesome. So easy to hang. You can't get a hold of him. He's got no phone. He's got no email. You had, and I'm just a huge fan, but I saw a clip where you had Billy Bob Thornton on.

[2:25:16] the best dude i can watch that guy do fucking anything the best to talk to too like so easy to talk to and the other one i think you had him on too but i always see this guy in interviews and it's always like i end up sharing it with everybody is ethan hawk ethan hawk's great [2:25:32] I mean, his – [2:25:34] His wisdom and his philosophy on art and on life, this guy is like a messiah. He's just so fascinating to listen to. Well, he's a real artist. Yeah. Really loves – I asked him this question because I've always wanted to know, is this the same thing as being in the zone and other things? What happens when you're doing a scene? Why is it so believable? I know you're Ethan Hawke. I know that's Denzel Washington. I know that you guys are acting. [2:26:04] Thank you. [2:26:04] But yet I'm in. Yeah. I'm in. Like, what is that? Yeah. He talked about that. It is like what it is with stand-up. It's like a hypnosis. It's like they're hypnotizing. They're so locked in and they believe so much what they're saying that you believe it too. Right. It's truth. It's that the scene... [2:26:23] reads as true they're not making you know there's there's there's times when you're watching something and you're like i don't buy that and that's why you step out right step out because you're like that's not it's performative yeah yeah you realize that someone is performing rather than being like really locked into it whatever it is somebody said one time and i totally agree it's like one of the reasons why we revere denzel so much is like every time he's on screen you believe every choice that he makes yes you know you're just like i believe this yeah there's a

[2:26:53] a few people like that. [2:26:55] Claire Danes is definitely one of them. She's fantastic. So good, dude. I mean, I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there's this one part where she finds something out and her fucking whole face starts shaking. I was like, how are you even doing that? She starts breathing heavy. Nothing freaks me out more than someone that finds out something crazy and doesn't have a physical reaction to it. Because anybody that's ever had anything crazy happen to them, your heart starts racing. You can't breathe. And some people just don't nail that. [2:27:24] But she nailed it so hard, I felt like she really believed it. Yeah. You know, and I believe, I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, you start freaking out too. That scene was so good that as I was watching, I was like, damn, she's good. Yeah. That's why I was thinking during the scene, I was like, damn, she's good. You'll have to call me when you finish this. I will. [2:27:41] it's [2:27:42] It's so good. She ruled in Homeland, too. She was great in that, too. Yeah. [2:27:46] She's really a tremendous actress. [2:27:48] Do you ever see the conversation she had? [2:27:52] She had a conversation with fucking what's his name? The vaccine dancer guy, Colbert. And like she was talking about the CIA being involved in all sorts of different things. And see if you can find it because he like changes the subject like immediately. Really? [2:28:09] Yeah, because she's like saying wild shit about the CIA. Well, the CIA being involved in I forget exactly the context of what you were saying. [2:28:18] Here it is. [2:28:19] Spy camp for us producers and writers and... Really? Yeah. Is it like, you know... Yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to, like...

[2:28:30] Real... [2:28:31] Spooks. [2:28:32] And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really... What do they tell you? What's the most surprising thing that they've told you about their jobs or something you would need to know? Well, every year it's different, right? We've been at it for a while and the climate has changed. But this year it was all about, you know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world. And the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're not such good friends. [2:29:02] at [2:29:03] How long did you start doing this show? The intelligence community aligns itself with journalists to try to get rid of the president. I had one time – this is not the same thing, but I had a – I know – [2:29:16] somebody who was [2:29:18] very high up, I'll just say in the intelligence community and is older now. And I have a relationship with them and I, [2:29:26] Sometimes we would talk through – it was through my parents that knew these people. And I would love to talk to this person because they were so not just well-informed, intelligent, fun to have a conversation with. And I was on the phone with them. [2:29:42] They go, not on the phone. [2:29:44] And I kind of was like repeating myself. I think I go, not on the phone. [2:29:49] I was like, oh. [2:29:50] It was one of those moments where I felt, I was like, oh, okay. I was like, yeah, I'll see you later. Sorry. I got so scared. I felt like I violated it. I'm sure every phone call they make is...

[2:30:01] being recorded. Yeah. Yeah. Especially if you have inside information about something very important, you're supposed to stay secret about it. Yeah. And you start blabbing. That's hanging out in Scottsdale doing blow. Yeah. [2:30:12] Talking about what we do in Syria. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You wind up getting whacked by some crazy person that kills himself. You have a car accident or something. Yeah, something happens. Yeah. [2:30:21] You know about this MIT fusion guy that got assassinated? [2:30:25] Supposedly. The same guy who assassinated the MIT fusion guy also went to Brown University and shot people at Brown and then killed himself. Really? Yeah. And a lot of people are like, what – [2:30:38] This guy was working on groundbreaking energy. He was working on fusion at MIT. [2:30:44] And he was also... [2:30:46] Talking about the poles, the Earth's poles shifting, and that this is a natural process that happens that we have to do to keep our magnetosphere that protects us from the fucking rays of space. What is our world, dude? What is happening? There's a lot of people that get killed because they are inventing things that are going to disrupt industries. That's what I believe. [2:31:06] And this is why we scroll six hours on TikTok. It's just like, I don't want to fucking. Yeah, you don't want to know. You don't want certain things you don't want to know. And Kurt Metzger texts me all of them. [2:31:15] Really? Text me all of them. Everything that I don't want to know, it shows up. I'm like, fuck. Or Dylan, Tim Dylan, text me all of them. And I text it to them, too, if I find something out. Because there's just so much nutty shit in the world where you're like, what is going on?

[2:31:33] people getting whacked and oh. [2:31:37] Yeah, it can overwhelm you. It can overwhelm you, yeah. And I know so many people that are legitimately mentally ill because they dwell on that stuff all day long. Which is why we need the escape. [2:31:47] Yeah. Yeah. [2:31:48] You need something. [2:31:49] And you also should limit your amount of time that you're exposed to all that psychotic behavior. Yeah. Because it starts shaping the way you view people. Yeah. And if you interact with people more on social media than you do in real life, it can really fuck your head up. So many people do that. A lot of people. A lot of people do that. Yeah. Especially, and that was one of the real problems during COVID, too. So people were isolated. And that was the only way they were interacting with each other. The fucked up thing is you realize how much those people end up... [2:32:18] like, [2:32:19] losing that connection with other like real people uh-huh they think that this is yeah they think this is real life this is the real world yeah [2:32:27] They live in the comment section. It's crazy. [2:32:31] It's just such a... [2:32:33] It's like eating food that has no nutrients in it, and your body's just freaking out. Like, where the fuck are the vitamins? Yeah. There's no vitamins in it. It's just nonsense. [2:32:43] And it's also, I was like, what percentage of it is even real people? [2:32:47] It's not 100. There's a bunch of it. It's just like bad actors from other countries and people with fucking flags in their bios and who knows what is going on. [2:32:57] And it's all just to try to shape narratives. We're involved in it. Russia's involved. China's involved. Corporations are involved. There's like entire companies that are based around crowd campaigns about organizing attacks on individuals, organizing narrative control or organizing, pushing a certain narrative. Entire businesses are built on that where they try to shape things and make things go viral. Yeah.

[2:33:23] Yeah, it's nuts. There's, oh my god. There's so much. It's a complete new part of our society that didn't exist before. And it shapes the way we view the world and it's being purposely manipulated by people. And it's legal because safeguards haven't put into place. And also the amount of times that like people are talking to bots and like losing themselves. I don't mean like a scam. I mean like fucking interacting just like with, you're interacting with a computer right now. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. [2:33:51] All the time. I started getting these weird WhatsApp group texts of investors, people investing in things and how much money they're making. This is incredible. Sign me up and like all these random fake people will be in the little group chat talking about how, oh, I can't wait to get involved in this. [2:34:08] You know, I'm going to go all in on this. And then trying to get you to go, oh, I should go all in. I want to go all in, too. I should give you my bank account number. Can I take a bigger position on that? Can I wire some money to you? Fuck, man. And so many dumbasses get sucked into things like that. [2:34:25] The best, though, is when it happens to, like, somebody will be like, I sent 80 grand of Brad Pitt. And you're like, what? They're like, Brad Pitt was, like, messaging me. And it's just, like, some 60-year-old lady. And she was like, it was, you know, it just felt so real. And it's like, it's. [2:34:43] It's like a deep fake. He's like, [2:34:46] Hi, Amanda. How are you today, my love? If you could just send me $30,000 to get out of this. And then she's like, and I did it. I feel like an idiot. And you're like, yeah. You fucking thought Brad Pitt needed $30,000? Well, here's the thing. If you've got a scam, like there's certain scams we allow, right? Yeah. Like here's one. Tell evangelists. We allow that scam. Yeah. Because if you're so dumb that you think Robert Tilden has got a red line, direct line to Jesus. Yeah. You know? Go ahead. You won't write a chick to me. Yeah.

[2:35:16] The devil's going to win. He bought like a G4. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all do. [2:35:20] They all do. [2:35:21] This is the one crazy guy that was pointing at the reporter with the devil eyes? That's the one. No, that's not Robert Tilden. No, but that's the guy who – Yeah, that's a different guy. Because she was asking him about that plane. Tyler Perry gave me such a deal. Yeah. Boy, he's just – I had to take this plane. Oh, my God. That guy looks cracked out. That guy's crazy. Yeah, he looks scary. But that scam, we allow. [2:35:40] We allow certain scams. [2:35:41] Yeah, we let that one go. Like, if you're so dumb that you buy into that, like, that's not even illegal. I do feel so, so bad, though, when it happens to the elderly. I feel so terrible for them. It's terrible. That guy. This guy. Kenneth Copeland. [2:35:54] Yeah, this guy's a spectacular piece of shit. Look at that dirty finger. Imagine that dirty finger in your asshole. Here's my plane, y'all. Dirty plane. [2:36:02] Wealthy televangelist defends using private aircraft in viral exchange. Yeah. Yeah. Medea gave me a deal. He's got to do all of his work. Shit. He's got to do all that work. Preacher who wants $54 million jet will donate old jet. Oh, that's nice. What a good guy. That's nice. [2:36:17] What a sweet guy. Which that guy? [2:36:19] Jesse Duplantis. See, like, those guys, we allow that. We allow that kind of thing. Which is crazy. They should be in prison. [2:36:27] They're fucking scumbags. Yeah, but they're getting people to voluntarily give them money. Which is weird. [2:36:34] Then there was the guy, the one... This guy asked his congregation for $65 million to buy a jet. Do you remember the one that was like, lock the doors? And that was a whole scandal? He's like... [2:36:45] Shut the doors.

[2:36:46] Lock the doors. [2:36:48] Oh, for what? For donations. [2:36:50] He's like, we're not leaving. Oh, that's right. That's right. We're not leaving here. Until you shut the doors. Yeah. Who was that guy? Pastor locks church door, demands $40,000. Yeah. [2:37:00] Ushers, close the doors. There's a hundred. There's a thousand of you. Close them doors. Ushers, close the doors. That is so crazy. That's insane. That's so crazy. He said, lock the doors. People fucking do it. [2:37:20] Katrina or what was it down in Houston? So one of the floods with that dude. [2:37:25] The famous one. Oh, yeah. The guy that has the big arena. Yeah. What's his name? [2:37:32] Fuck, what is his name? The fuck's his name, Jamie? [2:37:35] You know what I'm talking about. Big shit-eating grin. Yeah. Black hair. Yeah. [2:37:40] Joel Osteen. Osteen, yeah. That guy, yeah. He wouldn't let the homeless go in there. Yeah, you can't go. No, no, no. Like we need places to put people. Not in here. Yeah. It's going to be gross. People have lost their homes. No, no, no, no. You can't shit on my floor. No. Get out of here. The power of Christ. I think he did eventually let everybody in under pressure. Wow. [2:38:00] They shamed him into it. He realized, what would Jesus do? Jesus would just hire more people to clean up. Jesus would get the all-new Global 7500. Yeah, Jesus would get a new Rolls Royce. [2:38:13] Unreal. Yeah. They all do it, though. That's what's funny. They all have super expensive suits. And tax-free, right? Yeah. Because they go, this is religion. That's the nuttiest part. That's the weird part about the scam is that you're allowed to be tax-free. Fucking A. That is weird.

[2:38:28] It is weird. It's also weird when you think about what happens on the corporate level, that there's these corporations that make like hundreds of billions of dollars. And they're like, yeah, they didn't pay tax on this because they're this corporation. Right. Those are tax loopholes, though. Yeah, they'll funnel it to Ireland and then not pay tax on it. Well, supposedly that's what Jeffrey Epstein did for people. He found those tax loopholes. He helped people with tax loopholes and he helped rich people figure out how to save money or invest money. [2:38:58] It exists for a reason, right? Well, [2:39:01] Scumbags. Yeah. They've all put it in place. [2:39:04] Yeah, power's the bego. I got you. They just want to make sure that they keep the most amount of money possible. Yeah. Yeah. [2:39:10] And then there's that thing where, like, no one should be a billionaire. Well, okay, hang on. Do you like having a fucking iPhone? Yeah. Somebody had to make that. They're working 16 hours a day. Like, you don't want to be Tim Cook. Yeah. [2:39:21] I'm not saying – you know what I'm saying? You don't want to be Steve Jobs. Guy died young because of it. But I guess the argument that some people make against that is not that that guy shouldn't be wealthy. It's that when they have this overabundance of wealth and that the people that also work there don't have – [2:39:37] certain health coverage or something you're like really like these amazon warehouse guys are like fucking dying in the warehouse like are they well i mean they talk about these work conditions that are sometimes deplorable right and then you have the people at the top with like hundreds of billions of dollars like you can't trickle any of that down to like some of your workers that that always seems like a legit complaint from people to me oh for sure

[2:40:02] Yeah. I mean, listen, if they didn't work, you would have nothing. Exactly. That's what's weird. This guy's doing like, he's making like $15 an hour. But if he didn't start the company, they wouldn't have a job. True. [2:40:13] You know, at a certain point in time, it's kind of like, spread it around a little bit. Spread it around. Seems like it could. Probably better for everybody if you spread it around. Maybe people wouldn't hate you as much. There's always going to be people that like, you should donate it all. I mean, that's like the beautiful utopian. There is that one that did it too. Was it the Patagonia guy? [2:40:32] Did he? I think it's the Patagonia guy. [2:40:34] that became a legit... [2:40:36] billionaire [2:40:38] and donated almost... [2:40:39] Every fucking penny of it. I think it's him. [2:40:43] You know that song, I'd Love to Change the World? I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do. Is that right, Jamie? Was it him? [2:40:51] I might get typed in I first just typed in Billionaire that donated everything and another guy popped up [2:40:59] There's probably a bunch of those guys. It's one of the outdoor... [2:41:02] you know, apparel people. [2:41:04] It's an outdoor apparel billionaire who literally, I think, gave away like 98% of his. Yeah, Patagonia guy. Yeah. Wow. The dude kept like a million pounds. Where did he give it to? Because somebody probably took his money. They're probably living on a yacht somewhere. That's the problem. I think he gave it to a lot of land preservation type of things. Oh, good stuff. Yeah. Things that make sense. Okay. I'm pretty sure. Well, that's smart if you're an outdoor company. Yeah. And that's what you love. Yeah. [2:41:28] But it is like that almost unbelievable...

[2:41:32] level of generosity. That a guy won in capitalism to that degree and was like, [2:41:39] He probably did mushrooms one day. He was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? I'm living in, this is a prison. Yeah. I'm being imprisoned by all this money. [2:41:46] Yeah, maybe. Sam Walton was apparently... [2:41:49] like pretty down to earth too. [2:41:51] You know, the Walmart guy. Yeah. Got started. Yeah. I mean, he drove his like old pickup truck even when shit was like really. I mean, he died a long time ago. His kids don't live like that. I would have yelled at him if he had an old pickup truck. If I was Joey Diaz. The fuck are you doing with this old pickup truck? You're balling now, cocksucker. Yeah. Get a fucking Cadillac at least. [2:42:11] Yeah, his... [2:42:15] You know, children and grandchildren live a very different life. Of course. Yeah. Yeah, they're Nepo babies. Yeah. Yeah, that's not good. That's a tough way to live. [2:42:23] It is. When Forbes named Sam Walton, America's richest man, October 28th, 1985, people were shocked to discover he lived a humble life in Bentonville, Arkansas, with a muddy bird dog running around the yard. [2:42:36] He was America's richest man in 1985. There also surprised his choice of vehicles, 1979 Ford F-150. But as Sam said, why do I drive a pickup truck? What am I supposed to do, haul my dogs around in a Rolls Royce? [2:42:48] He just wasn't who he was. [2:42:50] yeah [2:42:51] Also, it's different, I think, when he made it to that level as like – [2:42:57] A regular guy. A regular. He was already in his 40s or something, 50s. It was just different for him. He wasn't handed anything. Don't forget who you are. Don't forget who you are, cocksucker. Yeah, he didn't. Well, some people do.

[2:43:10] That is weird too, right? It's weird when people change radically. So radically, yeah. But also that level of wealth is like [2:43:18] Not something that most people can even comprehend. No, you can't comprehend billions. He was the richest man in the world. He drove a pickup truck with a bunch of dogs. Like, what are you doing with your money? [2:43:29] I was watching that documentary about the murder in Monaco. Did you watch that one? No, what's that one? That one was about a guy who was – [2:43:38] one of the 200 wealthiest people in the world. [2:43:40] Safran, I think is his last name. He was a banker. [2:43:43] And he lived an ostentatious life. I mean, like... [2:43:48] Out of control. Humongous villas. He had 25 security guards around him at all times. Oh, my God. And was like a target. And he was murdered in his penthouse in Monaco. What was he doing that everybody wanted him dead? He just had a lot of – well, one of the things is that he invested – [2:44:07] or was like one of the people that got this Russian, I don't know if it was like Russian crypto, some type of currency or stock market in Russia that collapsed when Russia devalued their,

[2:44:41] There was always, like, who did it, and then his... [2:44:44] wife [2:44:45] who... [2:44:46] It was, I think she was [2:44:49] He was her fourth husband. Also had two other husbands die. [2:44:54] One of them was like the richest guy in Brazil. And he died. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And then... [2:45:01] People suspected that this guy, Safran's nurse... [2:45:06] may have killed him. And there was this what the documentary was about. And they interviewed him. And like the documentary supposed like when the documentary male nurse, male nurse, who and he was convicted, he was convicted. [2:45:19] And he served like 10 years. [2:45:22] And then he's in the documentary doing the interview, right? Like they keep interviewing him and other people. And then it's like the documentary ends. [2:45:30] And then... [2:45:32] the documentary filmmaker is like, this was where the documentary was supposed to end. But... [2:45:37] This guy... [2:45:39] who we just did this documentary about, this male nurse, as we were in post-production on this, got arrested. [2:45:46] for he did like some forged checks shit i think maybe in arizona and got locked up and his cell mate was like yeah he tried to hire me to kill his ex-wife so then he got put on trial for uh soliciting to murder his ex-wife and then they go and interview him again he's like no it's all bullshit man i'm telling you this fucking like he's like it's a it's very strange and it's it's like it's one of those things where you're like

[2:46:13] You don't think it's the guy, and then you do think it's the guy. What's it called? I think it's called Murder in Monaco. [2:46:19] Monaco is a crazy place. Have you been there? I've never been to Monaco. I've been. It's really wild, though. It's weird. Yeah. There's so much money there. Everywhere you look is a Rolls Royce or a Ferrari. It's like, what is going on here? Highest... [2:46:32] like [2:46:33] amount of millionaires and billionaires in the geographic square mile or whatever. Because it's so small, actually. Right. And if you have residency there, I believe there's crazy tax benefits. You don't pay taxes. You don't pay taxes. And guess what? When the husband died, the wife got her Monaco citizenship that week. [2:46:56] And then inherited the money, didn't pay any tax. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. How hard is it to get a Monaco citizenship? I bet it's somewhat challenging. Really? I think so. I don't know. I don't know. Got to meet the right people. [2:47:09] I would assume, I mean, I know, like, for instance, you know where it's, like, impossible, and there's great benefits to it, is UAE. They don't give that shit to anybody. Oh, really? Yeah, you got to be from there. [2:47:18] And that's the same kind of benefits, right? Yes, massive, massive benefits of being a – there's even a thing if you're a UAE citizen. Like if we have the same job. [2:47:28] and you're a non-citizen and I am a citizen, I get double your salary. Wow. Just from being from UAE. Things like that. Wow. Yeah. [2:47:37] Government will also pay for your housing, give you a car, pay for your education. Yeah. But they have a small – one of the reasons they have –

[2:47:45] extreme wealth, but they also don't have a high population of native citizens. Right. So they're able to do things like that also. And they have insane oil money. [2:47:54] insane, especially in Abu Dhabi. Well, that's when people talk about the richest man in the world. Yeah. Publicly? [2:48:02] Yeah. But those guys don't have to tell you how much money they have. There's also a big difference. [2:48:06] between being extremely wealthy, holding stock... [2:48:10] And extremely wealthy holding cash. Yeah. That's a real big difference. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why it's wild what these guys are doing with like the Saudi Arabians are doing with boxing. Because they're just going, what fight do you guys want to see? Yeah. Okay. Let me call that guy. Yeah. We'll give you $100 million. Like what? Yeah. And then they're like, that ain't shit. That's fine. [2:48:28] Yeah. That Saudi Entertainment Fund is the government's fund. What was it like doing that Riyadh Festival? Fantastic. It was fantastic. I mean, the... [2:48:38] The people there were amazing. Like, you know, there's always like you look at things on the news and you have your preconceived notion of like what things are. Right. But when you're on the ground somewhere and you're with people, you know, I was just meeting wonderful people. We went to the – they had the comedy club there. We went to the club. [2:48:56] Like, not what we were brought there to do. Like, they had, like, Comedy Pod, I think it's called. And it was just, like... [2:49:03] I mean, it was just Saudi, like local people. [2:49:05] And the crowd was just citizens. And they were all just so warm and welcoming. And they were such huge admirers of ours, of like... [2:49:14] American comedy and American podcasts. And they were just super sweet. Like, they were so genuine. And what is the restrictions in terms of, like, language and subject matter? So...

[2:49:25] Everybody was highly, highly, highly well-versed in not just English, but like American pop culture. So everything we talked about. [2:49:34] They got everything. They got everything. I mean, the night before, I went to see Jimmy Carr and Louie. [2:49:40] perform. And like I was I was like, holy shit, they get like even like the little throwaway lines, you know, like the things that aren't even like the bit like the little jokes. The only restriction that we were that we had was about Islam and the royals. That was it. [2:49:57] Which wasn't really a hard thing for most people to adhere to because, like, you know, like me and those guys, like, we didn't have – [2:50:04] Islam or royal jokes. We weren't cutting anything from our acts. So I was like, yeah. By the way, when we did UAE, you know, like Dubai and Abu Dhabi, [2:50:15] they were like, [2:50:16] Do not talk about – same thing. Don't talk about our royals. Don't talk about Islam. Don't be like super graphic about – but then we did do graphic stuff, and they were like, yeah, that's fine. [2:50:27] They're just... [2:50:28] Take it easy on the royals and on Islam. I was like, yeah, that's not a... [2:50:33] challenge for me. But the country, as far as the people that we met, they were all fantastic. [2:50:40] They were really sweet people. [2:50:42] It's just people have a weirdness of like you're going over there and [2:50:46] Because the Saudi royal family has the money, right? The Saudi family is the family that funds the entertainment fund. Right. Then people were like – they would accuse me of whataboutism for saying that that's the same fund that –

[2:51:00] paid for Ed Sheeran to come and Beyonce to come. [2:51:04] to do their shows. And I guess that's what I'm like, but how that's just facts. Like it's not what about ism. It's like, that's the money that funds entertainment. [2:51:13] And then some people go, well, you should do it if the money came from, let's say, a promoter. But you're like, yeah, but that doesn't exist yet. [2:51:21] Do you know what I mean? Right. This is the system that's in place. Now, maybe in like – So who accused you of whataboutism? Just people were so vocally upset that we went. And I was like – [2:51:34] I mean, first of all, the way that I went was that I was doing... [2:51:38] Dubai. [2:51:39] I was booked to do Dubai, which is in UAE. Mm-hmm. [2:51:43] It was already announced, and then three months later... [2:51:47] I got a call, and they're like, hey, do you want to do Riyadh? It's like a 90-minute flight. I'm like, I'm in the fucking Middle East. Yeah, I'll add a show. I'm there. It was like routing. Did you know it was a festival? I knew it was a festival. And then they told me the lineup, and the lineup was bananas. Right. It was like... [2:52:01] Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle. I was like, oh. I was like, that sounds like a great lineup. I didn't think really like that I was doing something... [2:52:09] I had no idea. I had no idea. You didn't think it would be... [2:52:14] Something that people would get offended by. I mean, when the people that were most offended with the comics that weren't invited. Yeah, I know. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of them. A lot of them were super vocal. And I'm like, you can't sell a ticket in Houston. I don't know why you're upset about Riyadh. Like, no one's going to see you anyway. Right. It was a bunch of, like, 50-year-old feature acts that were upset. And then we went over there, had a great time.

[2:52:35] And I actually think that one of the things that was overlooked is the fact that we were all saying, they're like, oh, you had to adhere to all. I was like, dude, I told you the two restrictions. [2:52:46] which we had... [2:52:47] didn't affect my act. [2:52:49] And I do think it's a sign of their progress that they put on this festival and that we were saying all kinds of wild shit like the shit that we say on stage without talk. We didn't talk about Islam. Right. I mean, that wasn't a crazy thing to me. Like, I think that that's showing because what's happening actually there is. [2:53:08] is that right now the entertainment hub of the Middle East is Dubai. [2:53:13] That is the entertainment hub. [2:53:15] of the Middle East. [2:53:16] That's where people go. That's their Vegas. [2:53:19] Big shows, spectacles, all types of shit. [2:53:22] Saudi Arabia. [2:53:24] is like, no. [2:53:25] We want to be. [2:53:27] The Hub. [2:53:28] And they have... [2:53:29] super deep pockets. And so they're trying to be [2:53:32] to compete with Dubai in entertainment. That's what the fuel of this is. And putting on this festival... [2:53:40] Okay. [2:53:40] to me felt like... [2:53:42] That's... [2:53:43] That's a path towards their goal of like entertainment can be here. And they put on... [2:53:49] a great festival, treated us fantastic. You know, people get, I don't mind if people are, you can be mad, be mad about whatever you want. I don't care. But as an experience, it was an amazing experience. And I do think that they'll continue to put on these festivals. It'll be very interesting to watch, [2:54:05] as this festival continues.

[2:54:07] who goes, who gets invited and goes, who was against it at the beginning. Because you know it's going to be a few people. And I have some screenshots that I've saved. So we'll see who goes. Maybe, perhaps. [2:54:18] It's interesting. It's interesting that comics are held to a higher standard than singers or other people that perform over there. Yeah, I mean – It is weird though because it's like comedy uniquely challenges the idea of free speech. Yeah. [2:54:32] Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. [2:54:34] Yeah. But I mean, because it's not like if someone says don't sing any songs about Islam, you're like, well, I don't have any songs. But I have to say that also, like some of these comics who are saying this, like, oh, you know, you don't have free speech and you adhere to these restrictions. It's like, have you ever done a private? [2:54:48] Have you ever done university? I have. [2:54:50] They had restrictions. Yeah. You know, they were like, don't talk about our mascot. Don't talk about this. Don't talk about that. Yeah. Specifically, if you don't have that in your act already, then the question is, should you be working for those people because of what happened with Jamal Khashoggi? That's everyone's big argument. I think Dave had the best line about that. Yeah. It's like Israel killed 240 journalists last month. Yeah. You know, like, what are you talking about? I mean, it's a last three months. It's a fair point. It is a fair point. [2:55:16] Yeah. [2:55:17] It's... [2:55:18] It's just different, right? Like one guy was – [2:55:21] Saw it up. [2:55:22] in an embassy. [2:55:23] taking away in suitcases. It's not good. It's horrific what happened. [2:55:27] But also, I mean, if you wanna like go down that, [2:55:31] that line of that, that argument. Then you shouldn't be working in America either. I mean, that's, that's like, are we saying that only their awful thing is worth it?

[2:55:39] Well, it's because they're funding it, right? As opposed to, like, if you work in America, it's not – the CIA doesn't fund a comedy show. Sure, sure. You know what I mean? Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, there's a lot of ways to look at it, and if it really upsets you, my position is – [2:55:55] Good. Well, the other thing – Let it upset you. Yeah, let it upset you. The other thing that, like, culturally, it is a good thing to bring great comics over to Saudi Arabia. I think so. It's good for people to hear what these – Jimmy Carr and you and Louie and Bill and all these comics have to say and Dave – [2:56:13] It's a good thing for the culture. It's a good thing to open up society. [2:56:19] Outside of this whole Jamal Khashoggi thing, which, again, is... [2:56:25] indefensible, right? Yeah. Outside of that, this is a more progressive organization. Like they are letting women drive now. They're like slowly this is coming into a more moderate sensibility. It is progress. It is a sign of progress, whether people – [2:56:40] accept that or not, it is a sign of progress there. Yeah, it doesn't [2:56:45] It doesn't help the people there if you never interact with them ever again because of something their government did. Exactly. And I have to tell you, if you saw the faces of these people that we were performing for and the – I mean when you could because sometimes they're like this.

[2:57:02] genuinely... [2:57:03] thankful and excited they were to be at these shows. It must have been amazing. It was awesome. If you lived in Saudi Arabia, you never would imagine you'd see a lineup like that. Oh, my God. I mean, some of the guys, they were telling us, they were like, dude, like 10 years ago, they're like, nothing like this could have ever, ever happened here. [2:57:16] So I don't know how you don't see that as some type of progress. What's up, Jamie? I just stumbled across something insane. What? This is on the justice websites. [2:57:25] Justice.com. Jamie's scrolling through Justice websites. No, I just saw a tweet and clicked the link. [2:57:32] What is this? [2:57:34] Corner of the screen says Jay Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein killing himself? What? [2:57:39] That's the date. [2:57:41] So what is he doing here? I don't know. It's a 12-second video that someone found on their website. Let me see that again. Put that up. [2:57:47] Can you pause it and make it larger? [2:57:50] Mm-hmm. [2:57:52] So is he hanging himself there? Is that what this is? It looks like he's leaning forward. I'm not showing it on screen because I don't even know what this is. [2:57:59] But I don't even know if that's like what it looks like, plain white hair. I don't know if it was, you know. Well, he definitely had white hair. [2:58:05] But like, so the date is that is that him with a thing wrapped around his neck and he's trying to kill himself? I don't. That's so one thing that's important was he had a previous suicide attempt, supposedly. [2:58:19] When he was locked up. Yeah. Oh. [2:58:23] I mean, that's one of the reasons why he was under like 24-hour supervision. That's the case, right? Didn't he have a previous suicide attempt? I don't even know if someone found this. That's crazy.

[2:58:33] That's on the government website? But imagine that they've had this footage the whole time. Is that real? [2:58:39] I'll show you how I found it. [2:58:41] Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? It's like who knows what's real. I watched a cruise ship hit a bridge and the bridge fell apart and everybody died. It's fake. [2:58:49] It's fake. Oh, yeah. [2:58:50] For like half of a second, though, I was like, oh, my God, I thought it happened today. Yeah, yeah. Like a new tragedy. And then I'm like, wait a minute. How much better are they going to get at that, too? Oh, it's going to be impossible to tell. It's so much better than it was just a couple of years ago. So someone guessed the URL of the files that were uploaded to DOJ's website that were not announced yet and found the video. Holy fuck. Okay. And then they corrected it. It said it's 100% fake. Oh. But it's on that website still. It's on the Justice Department's website. Yeah, so I guess it means there's fake shit on the website. Oh, boy. [2:59:20] I'm fake with a visual deed released by the DOJ. It seems it's a collection of files collected by investigators, and this fake video originated on 4chan. All right. So even they're getting it. 4chan strikes again. Wow. Yeah, man. Yeah. [2:59:34] It's going to be impossible to know in the future. There's no way to tell. There's no way. [2:59:40] There's no way. [2:59:41] real fucking weird. Because already with the voice stuff is crazy. I can listen to something [2:59:46] your voice and I'll be like [2:59:48] And then find out that it's fake. I didn't, I mean, I can't tell. They can alter it to make you excited, make you a little sad here. And in like your case, in my case, there's just thousands of hours of us speaking. Mm-hmm. [2:59:59] So it's even easier. Oh, yeah. [3:00:01] And that won't even matter in the future. It's like with the newer technology, they'll be able to manipulate it.

[3:00:06] And it's going to get way better. Yeah. That's what I mean. What does that even mean? What does it mean? Tom Segura. Tell everybody once again. Guys, please. Awesome comedy special. It's called Teacher. It's on Netflix. When does this come out? [3:00:20] I'm sorry, I didn't mean to play a soundbite. This will be out tomorrow. Oh, great. Yeah. So is this Christmas out tomorrow? It comes out Christmas Eve. Nice. Christmas Eve on Netflix. It's called Teacher. I'm very excited about it. I thank you so much for watching it over this holiday break. It's a good time to release. I toured for two years to get ready for this one. I'm very happy with it, so I hope you enjoy it. Well, if it's any of the stuff that I've been watching, it's going to be awesome. Thanks, brother. I'm killing it. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, man. Beautiful to see. I'm excited. [3:00:50] happy. All right. That's it. Bye, everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. [3:01:08] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. [3:01:20] Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. [3:01:34] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time with our four legs.

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