#2410 - Jeff Dye

[00:00] I'm trying to get to that. Yeah, that's the key. That's but they're tricking me, Joe. They're baiting me in with the algorithm. These motherfuckers. They get me to they get me in the morning. [00:21] I was just talking about it with Jamie. Are we rolling? Yeah. I was just talking about it with him as like... [00:29] I'm so good at like not caring what people think, sort of. And then I find, no, I really care a lot. Like I'm like in a constant tug of war of that. Because I used to have Google alerts on. [00:41] Oh no, for your name? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, and then I had to get rid of that. Oh, how dare you. Then I was like, I'm going to check the YouTube comments. [00:48] So that was a ring that I had to close. I'm slowly closing the rings. The ring I'm stuck in right now is... [00:54] Checking what like [00:55] My comedy peers are up to... You know, that kind of stuff. The one that they make videos... Let me get you a cigar. The videos they make of like... [01:03] So-and-so is having a breakdown, or Marc Maron said this, or those kind of rings. But I need to close that. I want to have none of it. I don't want to check any comments or anything. [01:17] I'm much better at this stuff than I ever have been in the past of avoiding most things that are annoying. But every now and then one will sneak in. And then I'll go, why did I let that sneak in? Why did I let that bother me? Yeah, I texted you. Yeah, I was going, hey, check this out. He goes, don't send me shit like this. The Ronda Rousey one didn't really bother me. Okay, good. I mean –

[01:37] I know what that is. You know, like, she's a fucking pit bull, man. That's the type of human. Thanks, brother. You're welcome. Do you mind if I tell you my opinion of Ronda Rousey and you tell me if I'm right or not? You go ahead. Because you know what you're talking about. And I am not a UFC. Like, I like UFC, but I don't, you know, you know these things. [01:55] So I've always said like Ronda Rousey was a badass. Right. And was awesome at fighting when there was like 30 girls doing it. [02:05] In the professionally at her level. Right. That's why I said I might be wrong. But then there was probably all these girls who could really fight all over the world, like in Japan and other countries and even maybe even in America. They just weren't in UFC. They're like, I could probably beat this chick. And now that there's so many women competing on this level, like Ronda Rousey probably isn't in her prime as badass as like the field. [02:29] Well, it's very difficult to – when someone's a pioneer, she's a legitimate pioneer. Right. It's very difficult to compare them to the people that have had a chance to study the pioneers and then advance the sport. Right. So what she was is – here you go. Thanks. A lighter, fella. Yeah. [02:47] She's a legend. [02:48] I mean, I got nothing but love and respect for that lady. What she did was... [02:53] so impressive. She was the first legitimate female superstar in [02:59] She made... [03:00] the UFC female division possible. If it wasn't for her, Dana was very open about never having female UFC fighters. It took someone that was that dynamic, that was that special, to open his eyes and go, you know what, I think this lady's a star.

[03:16] And – [03:17] To be the type – like when she said I wasn't an expert – [03:20] Everyone's entitled to their opinion. But you've got to understand why she thinks like that. Because she has a champion mentality. You never fought? You ain't shit. It's real simple. You ain't shit. You didn't play? You're like, yeah, but I studied the sport. Doesn't matter. You ain't shit. I get it. [03:36] It's totally fine. [03:38] Um, [03:39] You can't judge her, like compare her to like Zhang Weili – [03:44] Because like Zhang Weili, who was the 115-pound champion, she had a chance to watch all these other people learn what they're doing right, what they're doing wrong, what's effective, what's not effective. What Ronda had is world-class judo, world-class bronze medalist in the Olympics, one of the best arm bars, period, ever. [04:03] In the sport, in the history of the sport, her fucking arm bar, the technique was flawless. There's a fight with her and Kat Zingano. Kat Zingano launches at her, just fucking, Kat Zingano was an animal, charges at her. [04:17] Ronda catches her in an arm bar in like 13 seconds. I don't remember the exact time. [04:22] It was nuts, but it was perfect, perfect technique. You know, you couldn't fuck with that. But then she fought Holly Holm. [04:29] And when she fought Holly Holmes, she was dealing with an elite boxer, an elite kickboxer, and a very physically strong woman who had an awesome game plan and who had a chance to study Ronda. And maybe more importantly, came from a great camp. And that camp, Jackson Winklejohn camp, one of the best camps in the world. John Jones came out of that camp. Holly, Donald Cerrone originally came out of that camp. A lot of great fighters came out of there. So they were really good at game planning.

[04:59] clinch [05:00] They knew how Ronda likes to set up her takedowns, and they knew what to avoid. And then on top of that, Holly is just an elite striker. So every time Ronda tried to close the distance, the striking – [05:11] that she was very effective with against guys like Bech Cohea, these fighters that were a lower tier. [05:19] it's not going to be as effective with someone like Holly. And Holly started catching her on the feet and had her rocked and then landed that famous high kick and put her out. Well, I thought they were like the same age and same era. [05:31] But like Holly's after. Not really. She was able to learn from – I wouldn't say they are the same era. But Holly – [05:40] she had wins and losses. She lost to Valentina Shevchenko. She lost to some other fighters and, [05:47] But stylistically, it was a great matchup for her because she's an elite striker. She's really good at counter striking. She's really good at movement. And when Ronda has to close that distance, every fight starts on the feet. And when you're with a very physically strong woman who's got good takedown defense and is good at catching you as you're charging in, that was the problem in that fight. [06:10] Also, the problem in that fight, I think, for Ronda is... [06:13] When you start becoming really famous, [06:17] Then... [06:18] The hyenas show up and they start offering you this and offering you that and distracting you with this and distracting you with that. And now you're going to meetings and you're talking to agents and you're setting up movies and you're doing this and you're doing that. And all those things take away from the most important thing, which is your fighting.

[06:39] Even if they don't take away from the amount of training you do, they take away from your focus. They just – they rob you of the bandwidth. I always tell comics this when it comes to dealing with haters and things online that you shouldn't read. [06:54] You only have – like think of your mind as having a number of units of attention. Think you have 100 units of focus. Yeah. [07:03] anything that [07:05] eats into those units. Anything that bothers you, that annoys you, that's useless, that doesn't help you, that's stealing from your 100. [07:13] So now you only have 80 units or 70 units of focus because 30 of it is concentrated on bullshit. It will rob you of what makes you great. Let's talk about Service Titan, the AI for the trades. The trades are the backbone of this country. And for the first time, they've got technology that actually matches the work. Over 10,000 contractors already use Service Titan software to run their businesses. [07:43] This isn't some tech company guessing at solutions. Now Service Titan is building an AI trained on real trades workflows, not generic internet data. This is AI designed specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls while you sleep, dispatching your texts, helping you run your back office, growing your revenue. One platform, fully automated, always learning, always improving.

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[10:05] So there was two factors. There was the skill of Holly, the fact that she had all this opportunity to study Ronda and with a great team and devise a game plan. And then there's also the stealing of focus. [10:16] you know [10:18] Ronda, I was one of the biggest champions of her as a fighter, as a legitimate pioneer and a star. It was first it was Gina Carano and Chris Cyborg to a certain extent, but Cyborg had an asterisk because everybody knew she was roided up. And then it was Ronda. But Ronda eclipsed all of them. She was bigger than all of them. [10:37] I was a huge supporter and still am, but... [10:41] When you watch a fight... [10:43] And you're watching you get your ass kicked. And the other person is talking about how great the other person is doing and how bad you're doing. [10:51] That doesn't sit well with a lot of people, especially like someone who's got that kind of champion mentality, that fucking pit bull mentality. Like, I thought you were with me. Fuck you. And then it was after the fight. [11:03] I was... [11:04] very [11:05] public about saying i don't think she should fight for a long time they were talking about doing an immediate rematch and i was like that's crazy like they were talking about doing a rematch in four months or something like that i was like when you get head kicked into the shadow realm you're supposed to take a long time off when manny pacquiao got knocked out by juan manuel marquez it was a fucking picture perfect right hand who knocked that knocked manny pacquiao out

[11:35] I don't want you doing anything for a year, for one year, because you've got to heal up from something like that. It's bad. When you get knocked unconscious, it's not just that you'll be a touch gun shy, which is possible, but also that you're more vulnerable to getting hit. And then you could ruin your chin forever. Like if you get knocked out, there's certain fighters that used to have iron chins, like Chuck Liddell is one of the greatest examples of that. He had an iron chin. You could hit that dude with a fucking sledgehammer, and he would just keep swinging at you. [12:05] would get clipped and he would just go out. [12:08] And it wasn't him. [12:09] It was his brain was broken. It was too many times, too many shots, too many knockouts, too many impacts. [12:17] You got to... [12:18] preserve that you got to be very careful with that you got to take a long time off and then there was the amanda nunes fight so the amanda nunes fight i was also very vocal that everybody was putting all of the attention in the promotion on ronda making this huge comeback and if you watch the promos for that fight i thought they were crazy disrespectful because the promos and obviously look ronda was a fucking huge star a much bigger star than amanda nunes in that [12:48] was a shocking upset to a lot of people that didn't understand martial arts and didn't think that Holly had a chance. [12:54] Didn't think anybody had a chance. She was going to beat everybody forever. [12:57] But... [12:58] All of the promo was Ronda coming back. All of it was like she's coming back to take what's hers. It was Ronda in a mansion looking out. It was like the worst promo set. Like Ronda in a mansion looking out the window saying, I'm going to get my title. I don't know who made that. I don't know what it was. But I remember being backstage the day of the fight.

[13:19] And there was all these agents mulling around, all these Hollywood twats. [13:23] guy was like... [13:25] I forget his exact words. They were talking. He didn't know who Rhonda was fighting. And he said, I don't know what her name is, but whoever it is, it's her funeral. That's what he said. I was like, oh, my God. Like, these are the people. Meanwhile, Amanda Nunes was the scariest person at 135. And that's what I had said before she fought Holly Holm. I mean, like Dana and I talked about it. I said, I think Amanda's the scariest title challenger because she can flatline chicks with one punch. [13:55] She's different than all the other ones. She wound up flatlining Chris Cyborg. It was a crazy fight. She beats the fuck out of everybody. She hits so hard, like way harder than most women. [14:03] And I was like, that's a dangerous fucking opponent. And they're making it seem like this is all about the Ronda comeback when Amanda was the champion. So Holly had beaten Ronda. Misha Tate had beaten Holly. And then Amanda had beaten Misha Tate. So Amanda was the fucking champion. But all the promotion was all about Ronda. And then they were trying to do like pro wrestling. I don't know what they were doing. She'll come back. I think, you know, they were just selling the fight. They were selling it. And the best way to sell it is, I guess, that way. [14:33] more famous. But it's disrespectful to the champion, especially a fucking dangerous champion. And if the champion wins, which I thought she was going to win, it sets up [14:46] It's not good to set her up. You should set her up. How fucking dangerous she is. Now you've got a bigger star. Obviously, she wound up being a bigger star. And Amanda is the greatest of all time. Widely considered to be the greatest mixed martial arts female fighter in history. Because she fucks everybody up. She's just so dangerous.

[15:05] And then that fight happens. And then that lady takes Ronda out in the first round. Just beats the piss out of her. Just stops her standing. It was brutal. [15:15] you know [15:16] I never had a bad thing to say about Ronda. I still don't. I understand her mentality. I mean, she's a champion-minded person. She's like, you're fucking with me or against me. It's me against the world. She doesn't have a chip on her shoulder. She's got a forest. She's got a whole forest on her shoulder. You know what I mean? But that's why she was so good. And we're lucky she's a woman. If that lady was a man, she'd be Genghis Khan. She'd fucking take over the world. She was an animal. It's scary. [15:42] So that's why she has that opinion. That's just how she thinks about things. I was mad at her just as an everyday man because my nieces love any woman that's famous for any reason. And my nieces also aren't experts about UFC. They're little girls. And they just think it's cool that a woman's a badass. They like that kind of stuff. And so then when she lost to like... [16:05] you know, be on TikTok. I mean, actually, people made TikToks of it. It's not like Ronda Rousey was on TikTok, but like she was like on Ellen being like, I just wanted to quit. And I saw my man and I just realized I want to have babies. And I was like, this is not really the message. You know, if you lose to just go be a pro wrestler or have babies, like that's not like, I don't know. I felt like it was a strange way for a champion to talk. Yeah, but that's [16:29] her legitimately as a human being. That's what she wanted. And there comes a time. That's good. No, that would be a fine way to frame it. Well, she was being honest. She wanted to have babies. She didn't want to do it anymore. And there comes a time where, look, every fighter can only redline for so long.

[16:45] And the reality of fighting is you're redlining. What does that mean? You know what a redline, the engine, you know, when your tachometer reaches like 8,000 RPMs? Right. You can only do that for so long or your engine blows. [16:59] But to be in peak physical condition, to be able to fight in a championship fight, you essentially have to redline your body through camp. You have to get your body to a place where it's at a – you can't maintain fight shape. It's not possible. You get to a certain part. You peak, and then the last week you kind of drop off so that you can recover and so that Saturday night, when Saturday night rolls up and the lights go on in Madison Square Garden, you are as fucking ready as a human being can get. [17:29] You can't maintain that and you can't do that forever. And they think that there's a theory amongst mixed martial arts commentators and experts and what have you that is about nine years. Nine years is all that's possible to compete at a peak level. And then you get a drop off. Some people have more longevity than others. It varies. Some people it's a much shorter reign. And you've got to kind of look at who they were when they were at the top. You can only look at them when they're at that peak. [17:59] McAnderson Silva, he gets kind of dismissed because later in his life, the performances weren't the same. They weren't elite performances. But I say that's just human. You've got to look at him when he was the champion. He was one of the most elite guys that's ever competed in the sport, period. He's one of the greatest of all time. But you've got to look at when he was in his prime. There's only a certain amount of time you can do that.

[18:29] that anymore. [18:31] You got to get out. You got to get out because there's some fucking 20 year old Mike Tyson out there. There's some animal. There's some dude that lives, breathes, sleeps fighting. And they all they want to do is land shots and take you out. They just that's their whole focus in life. They don't give a fuck about relationships. They don't give a fuck about where they live. They don't give a fuck about anything, just winning. And that's how you become. [18:54] a world champion. That's how you become elite. You can only maintain it for so long. It's not a normal way for a human being to exist. It's a very strange way to live. And for her, it's natural. She's a woman. She's like, I want to have babies. I have this great man. And she's married to Travis Brown, who's also a beast, who's an elite UFC heavyweight, top 10 heavyweight. She's like, I'm done. I'm going to make some warrior kids. [19:19] I get it. I saw it and I was like, what the hell does that mean? She just didn't want to be quick. No, no, no. Now my niece is root for Holly Holm. [19:27] Good lady. Yeah. Holly Holm's nice. She is nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we like. We like the winners who are nice. Yeah, I get it. But there's something about... [19:39] Ronda being Ronda that made the sport what it is. But I root for Luke Skywalker, not Darth Vader. She's not Darth Vader. Sure, Darth Vader's cooler, and he's probably more strong. He's got the thing, you know. But, you know, Luke's the good guy, and I like the good guy. And I root for the good guy. She's not a bad guy. [19:55] She's, you know, like, look, her mother was a badass. Her mother was an elite judo competitor. Actually, I hate disagreeing with you, Joe. But she went to wrestling.

[20:08] Ronda. And then she said all these terrible things about the wrestlers. She said terrible things about you who I love. She didn't say anything terrible about me. She said you're not an expert about UFC. That's all she said. That's not terrible. That's just an opinion. Seems mean to me. No, no, no. Look, if I was a pussy, it would be mean. Well, I'm a pussy. I'm defending you. That's what I'm doing. If I was like, hey! We do, dude. That's my whole identity. No, I'm just saying. [20:32] She's kind of a grumpy, gnarly warrior. And warriors can be a little prickly. [20:38] She's definitely prickly. Yeah. That's all. [20:39] But that's why she was awesome. That's what made her great. That's what made her great. She broke that door wide open, and all the women that came afterwards follow. And it's hard for women to become famous in MMA because it's hard for them to have the kind of spectacular results that men have. They generally don't have as much power, and unless they're like elite at judo or something like that, like she was, where they get arm bars and finish people quickly. That's what everybody likes. Everybody likes dominance. And I want them to be hot. [21:09] That helps. That's a good one, but it's hard to mix those worlds. Yeah, you get Misha, Her, Holly. There's only a few of them that were really hot and elite. In the old days, they weren't looking at the battle lines, and they're going, I wish these warriors had more tits. [21:24] That's what I'm like, a very conflicted person. I want them to be badass, but also hot. Yeah, and crazy. It's tough to get both of them. This episode is brought to you by Happy Dad Hard Seltzer. A nice, cold, happy dad is low-carbonation, gluten-free, and is easy to drink.

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[23:09] the owner it'll be great so that's what my only kind of flex you know that can bring people to these kind of things i don't have a lot to offer but i can offer that so he's like yeah i'll pick you up and he comes to my house brandon shop comes to my house like in a race car i mean this thing is it's got the big spoiler on the back also we're both big guys i'm six four he's i don't know how tall he is but he's taller than me and we're in this tiny thing in traffic on the one-on-one going [23:39] the whole time. And I was just sitting, like, halfway through the drive, even though we were, like, new friends at the time, I'm like, what made you pick this car? You have other cars. And he goes, well, you're like a little kid, and my son loves this car, so I picked it because of you. You're like a little kid. That's hilarious. And he was right, because when he pulled up, I was like, oh, this is awesome. But then I got in, and I was like, bro, we're not built for this thing. It's dying. But that's not, like, your analogy. Like, that's not a day-to-day. No, that's not a road trip car. [24:09] Cadillac. You know, it would be something that's quiet and real smooth and handles bumps well. Exactly. Like a person. Right. Yeah. Someone. Yeah. Like you want comfortable. You want a one night stand? You want a muscle car. You want a long term relationship? Get a Lexus. And if you go to the Lakers game, bring a goddamn SUV or something. Yeah, bring something nice. It's unreal. We're in traffic. Bring something quiet with good air conditioning. His heart was in the right place and he was completely right. What car was it? Do you know? I don't know what

[24:39] You're not into cars? I love cars, but I like the cars I like. I've always loved big, stupid things. I love big military vehicles. Have you seen his Hummer? Yeah, I love all that stuff. Yeah, he's got a real Hummer with a crazy diesel turbocharged engine. Last time I was here and I did his podcast, he had this huge Bronco that he was doing some thing where he was selling it. Enough people buy tickets for it or something like that. Oh, yeah. That truck was a beautiful truck. And that's what I like. It's big, stupid tires. [25:09] Mad Max I loved. Anything the military drives. I'm like, can I buy that? They're like, no, this is not built for that. You can buy a lot of things. [25:17] Yeah, but you've got to go to those auctions and shit. Yeah, you've just got to know people. You get a lot of things these days. I would love that. I've never owned anything that fits in my garage. No? No, I have to park on the street all the time. I had to get rid of my last Jeep because I put like 46-inch tires on it, and I lifted it up. And it has no doors and no top. And so it's just parked in Sherman Oaks on the street, and I'm on the road so much. And it's just sitting there. Just sitting there. [25:47] Someone would walk by with a soda and just throw it in there because they don't care. And they get mad at you. Right. What a douche. Yeah, and where I am, it's not popular to have cool, big shit like that. Right. Sherman Oaks is popular to have a Prius with a co-exist bumper sticker. It's so annoying. Dude. I have a Cybertruck, and you can't really lift it, but since it has an air suspension, you can buy pins that make the air suspension one inch larger than whatever it's adjusting to.

[26:17] a lift on it, it's going to screw it all up. So anyways, long story short, I have a lifted Cybertruck with big stupid tires on it, and I drive into the Comedy Store parking lot, and I'm like, "This really isn't helping my reputation." Every time I roll in, everyone's like, "What is that?" It used to be that if you had a Tesla, you were signaling that you were a left-wing person. 100%. You're environmentally conscious, worried about carbon. Yeah. [26:44] That was one of the more crazy shifts, and we could come up with a thousand of these, but EVs used to be considered this great thing you're doing. Well, they still are. Unless it's a Cybertruck. Unless it's a Tesla. I get flipped off every day. [26:58] Really? In my Cybertruck. Yeah, every day. There's a video of this lady in New Jersey. She gets out of a Cybertruck. [27:04] Just gets out. She was a passenger. And this lady who's walking her dog goes, how does it feel to be racist? And she's like, what are you talking about? She got a ride. She wasn't even driving. Someone dropped her off. [27:14] She's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, you're racist. You're in a cyber truck. You're racist. And she's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're crazy. It blows my mind. [27:23] Well, people are always looking for every possible opportunity to be a shithead. And if they can be a shithead, if they're justified in being a shithead because they disagree with you, they would be the meanest motherfuckers. [27:37] Just to be a shit at it. And that activity happens... [27:41] primarily... [27:43] On the left. [27:44] primarily. [27:45] Like, you don't see that from the right. Like, if someone pulls up in a Prius with a coexist bumper sticker, you don't see a bunch of guys going, hey, you fucking pussy. Yeah, exactly. What are you, you supporting fucking Iraq? Get out of our town! You supporting ISIS with your fucking bullshit fucking bumper sticker on your shitbag car? Has it feel to be an ISIS supporter? You don't get that. Ever. But you get that from the left, and I don't, I think it's the Trump thing.

[28:15] The figure is such a figure of like an attack vector that they look at him like. It's fun for them. Yeah. Yeah. They have an enemy. It occupies their brain at all times. They have an enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Like Jimmy Kimmel's wife was doing some podcast recently, Jimmy and the wife. And the wife was saying that she has a hard time talking to her relatives because they voted for Trump. She says, like, if you vote for Trump, you're voting against my husband and my family. Like, what are you talking about? Well, I think that that's the big psyop. [28:45] They've made everything racial. [28:47] Everything is racial. And so the last thing you want to be called is a racist, right? So [28:53] When you make it as simple as race, like just racial, like just that blanketly simple, then [28:59] Anything another color does, you'd be considered, so you'd go, oh, I don't really believe, or I think Muslims are blank. Whatever that sentence is, you'd go, racist. And you'd go, well, there's surely some things we could criticize about maybe North Korea. They'd go, oh, you're racist. So it's like, it's because it's so simple and it's so vague. And people love to keep vague things because then they can make their, I saw a comedian. I won't say her name because I can't pronounce it, but it's, that's why I won't say it. Not because I'm holding back names. [29:29] or Ricegib or whatever her name is. Oh, I know Marilyn. Yeah, she used to be really nice to me. She used to be? Yeah, she... [29:36] She got caught talking shit about me, and I DM'd her immediately. And then she was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And, you know, I think she's a nice person. She's a very nice person. Yeah, she's nice. People get caught up in that shit. I saw her do a bit the other night in the lab where she was like, I'm texting with this guy. And he said, she said, how are you? And he said, oh, I'm just really sad today about Charlie, about Charlie Kirk. And then she goes, and my hand was like, my phone was on fire.

[30:06] ugh, ugh, like what? And then the crowd laughed to her defense. Like the lab at the improv thought this was a hilarious premise. And then she said, she was like, what part of his ideas did you find so gripping? Was it his racist? She just started launching into like about how like the fact that a guy she liked – [30:29] would be sad about Charlie Kirk's assassination was the biggest turn off to her that she wrote like a whole bit about it. And I was just in my mind, I was like, I can't believe that this is... [30:41] Her take. [30:42] I can't believe it's a take that the crowd is on board with, and I can't believe I'm in this town... [30:49] anymore. Like I was like a moment for me where I was like, what? Am I? Am I insane? No, like that's what makes me those are the moments where you go. I think I'm the crazy person. There's a room full of people here who agree. [31:05] That Charlie Kirk must have been this terrible thing and hence deserves being publicly assassinated. And if you feel sad about it, you're gross to her. And she wants to throw her phone away. And she wants to go, oh! And that's hilarious to everyone. Wow. [31:22] The simple vagueness of race. [31:24] It's like this constant obsession with... [31:29] you know, [31:30] You have to agree with a socialist mayor in New York or you must be a racist or Islam. They've just made it so vague that it's very easy to always label or put things in a thing. Well, there's certainly cult-like thinking.

[31:45] involved in both the right and the left. There's... [31:49] It's a real problem with people that identify with any political ideology, whether they identify as being a conservative or identify as being a liberal. [31:59] It's a real problem because then you lose all your objective thinking and you have to agree with everything that this side supports. And generally, that's never a good thing to just agree with like a swath of predetermined ideas. Yeah. [32:15] And one is that public assassinations are okay and that they're not sad. They're sad no matter who it is. And I would say even if Charlie Kirk was a terrible person, [32:27] Even if he was, which he was not. I knew him, and he was not. But even if he was, let's say they're right about all those things. You're happy that he got shot? The correct way to handle someone who has bad ideas is to confront them with better ideas. It's not a 30-odd-six round to the neck publicly where people are cheering. That's crazy. And they kept it vague. [32:52] They keep it vague. That's how it always works. It's like, well, I go, well, why don't, why are you, why are you posting on social media that you, that you're happy about it or that you're not sad about it? Just tell me simply why, why you think that? And they go, well, because his ideas were dangerous. Super vague. Didn't say the ideas. [33:11] Didn't say how they're dangerous or why they're dangerous. It's always vague. Well, there's also a problem with clips. When you take sound bites, like very short clips out of context of what someone's saying, and then you highlight that one particular sentence and the way they said that sentence, you could frame someone in a very different way than who they really are. And I think there were some problems with some of the things that Charlie said, the way he said them, and in the fact that you could take it as a clip. And one of them was –

[33:40] The idea of DEI pilots. Like, the idea of... [33:44] any lowering of standards of anyone in a really important job like a pilot because a person is blank, fill in the blank, because they're a lesbian or because they're gay or because they're white or because they're Chinese or because they're black or whatever it is. If you're lowering standards because you want more people of one thing, well, you've just made the skies a little more dangerous. You've made a very dangerous thing, which is flying, a little more dangerous. [34:10] So his statement was because they're doing this and they're trying to get – they're using DEI to hire people, and when I get on a plane and I see a black pilot, I hope that they're qualified. Right. [34:22] Or he wonders. Yeah. He said, I don't want – I hate that when I see a black pilot, my mind thinks I wonder if they were part of a DEI hiring. Correct. Right. That's – [34:33] It's a problem in the way he said it. Right. Instead of saying that that way, because – [34:40] One of the things that I pointed out is that DEI, especially in regards to education, the people that it discriminates the most against – like people say it's a white supremacist idea to be against DEI. The people that DEI discriminates the most against in education is Asians. [34:59] Because Asians fucking kill it in universities. They kill it. So much so that there was a giant lawsuit at Harvard because they were making their admission standards more difficult for Asian people than they were for white people, for black people, for everybody else. They made Asians more difficult because if they didn't, half of their fucking population in their classes would be Asian because they work harder. It's a cultural thing. I grew up in Taekwondo, and I grew up around a lot of Koreans.

[35:29] And, man, you haven't seen work ethic until you've seen first-generation Koreans who come over to America and, you know, they have those tiger moms and tiger dads. That's a real thing, dude. That's good. That is a fuck, I guess. Well, I mean, for these sort of subjects. It's good for getting things done. Not great for trauma. It's not great for your head. It's not great for those things, right. But if we're talking about the workforce or symphony. If it's just a meritocracy. If it's just a meritocracy, it's like who is the best student? [35:59] this, who's the best that. Yeah, it's good for that. You know, but it's like, it's the same thing. It was like trying to be a champion, like you'd only redline for so long before you go fucking crazy. And the lack of balance between pleasure and and struggle and discipline and fun, you have to balance if you want to have a good life. And ultimately, you're supposed to be enjoying your life. [36:21] I don't think you could truly enjoy your life without some measure of discipline. I think discipline is important. It's the reason why you can enjoy the relaxing moments because you earn them. You have to earn them. [36:32] But I do think you should have them too. And when I was around a lot of Korean guys, like my friend Jungsik, I've talked about him before, but he was a national champion. When we were kids, he was – [36:45] Not as talented as other people. He wasn't as fast. He didn't have any unusual genetic gifts that some people had. But that motherfucker worked so hard. He was in residency. So he was in medical school while he was on the national team. So he would go to school all day. And for workouts sometimes he would take all his books, put them in his backpack, and run upstairs at the school. Just run upstairs at the university.

[37:15] his cardio in. And then he would come to the gym and he would be, you know, he'd come to the gym for nighttime training. We'd train at like six o'clock at night, seven o'clock at night, and he would be [37:24] It was drained. But he would fucking... Yeah, I love it. Just dig in and get to it, man. And it was just... [37:30] It's that mentality is why Asians do so well in school. Right. It's like this pushing from their parents, the high pressure. And again, I don't think it's so good for you psychologically. I don't do that with my kids. My kids do very well in school, but they do very well in school because of the example that I and my wife set of be a nice person, work really hard, have discipline, do the stuff you're supposed to do. Don't fuck off. Get the things done that you're supposed to do. [37:57] But would they be able to compete with some kid who just came over here from China? I don't know. Which is why the countries like America so much is because they realize, oh, if I work as hard as I can, maybe in wherever they live, India or some of these other places, it's not a promise that they'll succeed. But they love a capitalistic America where like, yeah, if I put in the work and my kids put in the work and I force my kids to put in the work, it'll work. This is an ad for BetterHelp. [38:22] With the days getting colder, shorter, and darker, it can be tough for many, and really, you never know what someone might be going through. So here's a reminder to take the time to reach out and connect with the people you care about, whether it's a sibling you see every week or a friend you haven't spoken to in months. You might... [38:39] be glad you did. And more often than not, you probably would be kicking yourself for not doing it sooner. I mean, it's easier than you think, reaching out and talking to someone. The same is true for therapy. Plus, therapy is a great place to start if you're struggling to connect with someone. It's good to have a professional therapist you can talk to who can guide you through any issues in your life. Finding the right therapist has also never been easier, thanks to BetterHelp.

[39:09] worldwide and they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. It's one of many reasons why people continue to rate BetterHelp so highly. So this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [39:39] This is where you see the hypocrisy of the education system though because they claim to be all about – [39:45] diversity. Asians are part of diversity. They're a small percentage of the population in America, but they're fucking killing it. So they tried to hold them back. Right. Because it's bullshit. That's a problem. Because in their mind, Asians don't complain as much. [39:59] They get to work more. They're not the ones that are out there organizing and making signs. They're not doing that. They're fucking working. They don't have time to be going to these rallies and cheering and chanting. They fucking get to work. So because of that, they're not as represented when it comes to grievances. So you can get away with being racist against them. Right. And you can get away with discriminating against them in higher education universities like Harvard, which is just crazy. [40:29] You're not really caring about minorities. You're caring about very specific minorities because they give you social clout to represent and to fight for them. Like if you're fighting for black people, if you're fighting for trans people, those are the people that are really noisy and really loud. And if you're on their side – And you look good if you defend them. You're virtuous. Yeah, exactly. Because that's what it is. It's performative. I think about it every week almost. It sounds strange, but these kind of things consume me. I don't have a wife and kids. I think about these things all day.

[40:59] I think about it with – [41:01] Like in our business, you know? Like there are so many women who complain like, oh, no girls on the lineup or only two girls on the lineup. And I'm like, there's less of you. [41:10] That's all it is. In fact, the fact that there's less of you in our industry is why you're able to stand out and succeed so much quicker than your male counterparts. So, yes, it can feel like a boys club because it is. There's plenty of disadvantages to being a female comedian, like putting up with these comedy club owners or working the road or like it is. Fans being creepy with you. Creepy fans. They're different. A hundred percent. And I'm sympathetic to the things female comics have to go through. [41:40] don't understand the numbers. Like there's girls in Los Angeles who are regulars at the Improv and the Laugh Factory and the Comedy Store who have been doing it a few years. [41:50] And then there's guys that I know that have been doing it 15 years who – [41:55] you know, subjectively are very, very funny, and subjectively funnier than them, but at least inarguably funny. And they can't get any spots at these places because we need more women comics. I mean, we need more diverse lineups. They've literally said that. We have too many white male comics. I've heard it my whole career. It's crazy. It's crazy to say. I was in Boston, and there was this long line for this festival and all this stuff. [42:23] It was to submit, like to do audition. It was during Last Comic Standing times. So they were doing these things where they liked filming the line and going, look how many people are here to try out for our festival. And someone came out and goes, listen, if you're a straight white guy, you better be real different. And all of us just cut because Boston, we're all straight white guys. And I just remember being like, well, that kind of hurt my feelings a little bit. Like, what does that imply? I don't know. I only know about my circumstances. I can't have.

[42:53] to me. He was talking, bragging about one of his clients and he was like, Jeff, listen man. You know, I got this one client. He's handsome. He's, his parents are deaf. You know, he's black. He's got all these great things that make him very interesting for the industry. I think you're going to have to like reinvent yourself or something. I was like, I can't make things up. Like, I don't know what to tell you. I'm a white guy. It's just Hollywood. Yeah. And Hollywood's influence with the long tentacles of the octopus. But [43:23] do that in texas like in in the mothership it's a meritocracy and because it's a meritocracy it's very diverse yeah you got a lot of women on the lineup you got a lot of all kinds of people a lot of gay people and the one thing that people keep saying about the the comedy mothership is oh it's right wing comedy club the vast majority of comics at my club are left wing the vast majority yeah no i can i can they're artists personally vouch for that yeah yeah they're are but they're reasonable [43:53] comic who doesn't agree with their politics and still just be human. That's a great. We should all aspire to that. And that's what we aspire to at that club. Like we don't tolerate any bullshit ideologically one side or the other. It's not supposed to be about that. It's supposed to be about the art form. And, you know, there's shit. A lot of my fucking friends are like far left. I don't care. Are you nice? Are you cool? Do you have interesting thoughts? Can we have conversations? I'm down with that.

[44:23] This thing that people do where they just decide you have a different ideology than me, so you're the enemy. And I think that is one of the stupidest things you could do as a human being. It's weak. It's simple. You're doing something that's just too convenient. And you're doing it because you know it will be supported by a bunch of other fucking morons because we're in a TikTok generation where most people don't have nuanced perspectives on things. Yeah. Like I am a Christian, right? [44:53] young 20s. I talk about it in my act. I talk about it in my life. And guess what? I have never once crashed out because of my Seattle comedian friends going on stage and calling Christians idiots or racists or fools or dummies. I've never once gone, I can't share a green room with someone who would espouse that type of hatred towards my faith, right? Never once. I've heard every joke about [45:23] And I'm pleasant to be around in these comedy clubs. But that's why you're doing well. Right. And I'm now. And I am. But you're doing well because you became undeniable. Yeah. And that's the real meritocracy aspect of comedy is that if you kill, if the audience laughs and people keep coming to see you. [45:40] You have an audience. Right. And the one thing that drives a lot of people crazy is I've done all the right things and no one comes to see me. Because you forgot the one thing. You might have been doing the wrong thing. You forgot the one thing. Be funny. That's it. You fell into all the easy stuff. All the easy stuff is align yourself with the group. All the group think. All the fucking chant all the right stuff. Say all the right things. Say things that don't even make sense. Right. So that you appear. Well, that's what I'm saying. Is that like. That's the Marc Maron strategy.

[46:10] store. [46:11] multiple comics went to the to the booker was like he shouldn't be here do you he does jokes about gay people and he does jokes about yes yeah yeah I do guess what and they kill and I get laughs and I'm but again I'm you can still come up to me and talk to me and like I'm I'm not I I like everybody I like trans people I have a plenty of gay friends I I you know [46:35] You might have jokes about straight people, too, though. Exactly. And you are one of them. That's the thing. It's also fun to be naughty, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I love women, but I trash them pretty hard in my act. And so the only reason I was bringing all that up is that I feel like – [46:49] I've never once gone, I can't talk to someone because of their stand-up comedy. I'm not going to go to the improv and go, Mary Lynn Reiskib shouldn't be allowed here because what she said about Charlie Kirk and I was offended. I bet if you had a conversation with her about an actual conversation, it would be very reasonable. Yeah, because people are people and we should be able to share these spaces with these people no matter what we think. I'm not so far right or so far Christian that I go, I can't be in the same room. That's what cult people think. [47:19] confronted her with the reality of what that guy had said and some of the conversations that he had with both trans people, people of color, all kinds. He was a very kind person. 100%. The problem is you don't look kind when there's clips and the clips show you saying something. Aren't you afraid of that? Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, you listen, I'm kind of a little bit

[47:41] inoculated against that because I have so many hours of me talking. So did he. [47:47] Yeah, but in a different way, where people are listening to me having these three-hour conversations. It's like it's kind of hard to label me to anybody who's paying attention. And it's just – it's also the benefit of having the biggest platform in the world. Right. It's like there's enough people that have seen so many shows that like I know who that guy is. That's not who that guy is. I think you're giving them a lot of grace because – You have to. [48:15] Because people are like, aren't you afraid of AI? No, I'm not afraid of AI. What I'm afraid of is clips, short context things. Even recently I did Howie Mandel's podcast, and I got asked for the millionth time about the Marc Maron thing. And I was like, what? Dude, the good part of that Marc Maron story is that we buried it, I think. Who knows? It'll rear its head again, I'm sure. Not with that guy. There's no burying anything. I know. But I was like, how about that story? Tell that story, Howie, that we shook hands at the comedy store and were able to share a stage. [48:45] and share a room full of stages. [48:50] It just how he's how he's Mandel's team just posted the thing. So, you know, all the comments are like, Jeff, I can't stop talking about Mark Maron again. And like, that's what I'm saying is that Charlie Kirk's guilty of or not guilty of it, but a victim of it. [49:03] This short... [49:06] Real thing that is out of context is not a three hour conversation. No one's listening to Trump in long form. No one listened to Charlie Kirk in long form. The people that were informed did. But I'm saying the everyday person is kind of just kind of collecting these excerpts. And then forming a group think about those excerpts. And the group think becomes –

[49:28] their reality. That's very true. And I'm afraid of that for you. Yeah, that's true in some ways, but it also benefits you in some ways, too. It's like there's good and bad. Like there's little things that you'll say that are funny that make it into clips and [49:43] And that's good too. It's like – [49:45] The thing – like I was talking to Tony about this because we were talking about people that complain about his show and talk shit about his show. I go, dude – [49:54] They work for you. [49:55] They don't realize it, but they work for you. They're the publicity arm, the negative publicity arm for the Kill Tony show. You don't worry about it and don't care. You can't – Write a book on that. Teach me how to not care. You just got to get to a point where you don't have to care anymore. It's not going to affect you. You know what I mean? But that's – but if you're in that position where I'm in – [50:17] that kind of sort of, you're not totally ever in that position, but you're much more in that position than the average person. It's your duty to not care. [50:26] It's your duty to set an example and to say, look, you're supposed to be – when you get to the top, you're not supposed to be mean and like defend it and push everybody down. You're supposed to lift everybody up and be what you would hope the guy at the top would be. Be supportive. Try to help other people's careers. Try to promote them. Tell everybody how cool they are. Tell everybody how funny they are. Tell everybody good things that you know. Instead of complaining all the time about everything, find cool shit and inform people about it. [50:56] cool restaurants you've been to, cool music you've listened to, cool people you met.

[51:00] Do that. That's what I try to do. And that's my... [51:05] That is my obligation, I think, in having the top podcast. You have to set an example that's beneficial for not just me but for everybody. [51:16] And don't care as much Don't care as much about haters You're going to have haters The idea that you're not going to have people that hate you is crazy Fucking You can get like One of the things that I know from MMA [51:29] The greatest fighters, the best guys in their prime, there's going to be guys coming up that say, hey, ain't shit. I'll fuck him up. I'll take him out in one round. There's always that. He's got no defense. He's got no chin. He's got no heart. He's only good when he's winning. As soon as it gets turned on him, he's going to fold. There's always someone talking. And if you live your life constantly responding to those people, it's a waste of that 100. [51:59] got to protect that yeah you got to guard that 100 units man don't let anybody steal your units with a comment on youtube and it's never in real life for me [52:10] Right. It's never in real life. That's the problem. I have to open this shit. Yeah. Before I spiral out. Even in my town of Los Angeles, you know, people go, why are you at this fucking dump? And then I'm walking around in Sherman Oaks. I've got my coffee. I'm seeing dogs. I'm seeing hot chicks. And then my barista's like, hey, what's up, Jeff? Like, I have friends with everyone. Beautiful weather. Yeah, wherever I go, like, because I go to the same spots and I never, I talk to everyone. So, like, I've accumulated all these people who go, oh, we know that community's the best or whatever.

[52:40] community but then i turn on my phone you know you see this old bomb baba do me guy he's a muslim he's gonna ruin new york this episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog here's a fun fact research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time so why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners [53:10] alternatives exist and trust me, I know that [53:13] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time. [53:43] to get best friends something every dog owner wants the answer to that is [53:48] is yes, obviously. So try the Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food. [53:56] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. This episode is brought to you by 8 Sleep. Okay, when it comes to sleep... [54:09] I've got to have the right temperature dialed in, depending on the time of year that might be ripping hot. I'm talking volcanic or igloo levels of iciness. The point is, I need the temperature to be just right so I can get deep sleep, the kind of sleep that drives real recovery. And luckily, 8 Sleep is all about giving you the best sleep possible.

[54:39] regulating the temperature on each side of the bed in real time. Why? So you and your partner can consistently hit your ideal deep restorative sleep range and wake up feeling truly refreshed and recovered. Use my code Rogan at 8sleep.com slash Rogan for up to $350 off the Pod 5 Ultra. The best part is that you get 30 days to try it at home and return it if you don't like it. [55:09] love your investment in better sleep that's code rogan at eight sleep.com slash rogan and then i start going yeah yeah what the hell's going on with this i think new york is due for a little socialist wake-up call oh yeah they'll wake up these things they're gonna have 5 000 police officers have threatened to resign don't you think new york is that true is that true find out that number's true because here's the problem with those kind of things it's like right-wing people [55:39] You know, are they really going to defund the police? Are they really going to, you know, have struggle sessions? I am buying a house here. Are you? In Texas? Yeah. Yee-haw! Yeah, like about 30, 40 minutes from here. Nice. Yeah. You're already locked on it? No, but I'm shopping for houses on Wednesday. Oh, tomorrow. Not Wednesday, tomorrow. I got a good lady if you need one. She's the best. I have a chick who's pretty good. She's like the number one in Arizona. Arizona's not Texas. I know, but she has all these contacts. Also, I just know her. Okay. So that helps.

[56:09] It's good to be loyal. [56:11] She found a bunch of good stuff. [56:13] uh yeah about 40 minutes from here well that's good too 40 minutes from here out like tripping springs area it's quiet that's what i want i want quiet night here oh i want to go to a lake you know be able to like i'm kind of in this kind of la thing and this i'm i could be guilty of of being a victim of like what i'm absorbing in my algorithm but like gavin newsom scares the [56:42] I don't want to be a part of it. Yeah. Yeah. [56:45] He wants to run the whole country too. It's wild. Pretty wild. Those fires were quite a wake-up call. Even if whatever you believe about the fires, the way it was dealt with was pretty scary. It was not competent. [56:57] That's for sure. Even the aftermath was not competent. The conversations about talking to different developers about doing stuff with the land and different speculators. That's what I'm talking about. We'll make a smart town. That's kind of what the conspiracy people were saying before this stuff happened. See when he's doing a little dance in front of burnt houses? I know. Are you a sociopath? Because that's how sociopaths behave. [57:27] to the ground? Did 5,000 peace people resign? I don't think they say they threatened to resign. There's no credible evidence of 5,000 peace officers resigned. Okay, why don't you say, did they threaten to resign? I did when I typed it in Google and I got the same answers.

[57:43] In perplexity, it says, did 5,000 people resign? No. What actually happened, official data and statements from NYPD representatives confirmed there has been no mass walkout. While police union leaders and some critics have warned of potential wave of resignations or feared attrition. See, that was the thing. Social media posts alleging 5,000 officers. I didn't see any that said resign. I said I saw something that said are threatening to resign. Go back to where I was reading. [58:12] or satire [58:14] NYPD has about 33,745 uniformed officers as of late 2025. [58:21] with staffing down only slightly from the previous year. [58:25] So it's like... [58:26] Maybe it's one of those things where someone talked to some people and they said, I know a lot of guys. A lot of guys are threatening to resign. Well, I mean, that's a serious thing to talk about anyways, whether it's true or not on the numbers. It's not a fun time to be a police officer. [58:43] Pre-Black Lives Matter, I know a lot of cops just in my life. I used to perform once a year for their Christmas thing at the LAPD. Great audience members. You want to talk about good audience members? [58:56] Nurses, anyone who deals with real life is very good audience members. They can take a joke. Yeah, great at taking jokes. And they need to see the humor in life. They're looking for a clown to laugh at because they deal with real shit. But that aside... [59:12] In the last eight years, when cops tell me they're cops at shows, it's like, hey, you know, I'm a police. And I'm like, what's with this embarrassment? Like, why do you feel like you need to be like an undercover police officer when you're like – You have to whisper it. Yeah, why? I like cops. I think that they're great. They have to go into someone's worst day of their life every day. Anytime you've ever had to call a cop, it's not a great day. It's not a great thing that's happening.

[59:42] And I have a tremendous amount of respect for people that do that. I agree. I agree totally. And they feel ashamed to be a cop because they've been vaguely blanketed as, like, oppressors or racist or some sort of power-hungry bad guys. And that's probably a little worse in NYPD right now as far as being in the city with what's going on. So I imagine there's a lot of people who are threatening the same way whenever someone's... [1:00:10] president isn't the president they want. They go, I'm going to move. They make those kind of threats. Some people do move. Yeah, some people do. A lot of rich guys are really getting out. I respect Rosie and Ellen for that. Don't you respect that? Every celebrity says they're going to leave. It's so dumb. Well, it's dumb that they left because now they just can't vote. Not only that, you're living in Ireland. But at least they said what they were going to do. You're living in England and then your neighbors in England don't like you either. Yeah, because they're like, yeah, exactly. Well, that's true. But at least they left. Now you've got to move to a new place in England. Hundreds of celebrities said they would leave and didn't. [1:00:40] Yeah, there's always a lot of that. A lot of people said they were going to move to Canada. Great. Good luck with that. But now you're just America-lite? Well, you're America-communist. Now. Canada's nuts. But now you're like... [1:00:51] Still reliant on America. I noticed that I wanted to look up, that I just read. I put this into perplexity. [1:00:59] One out of 20 deaths last year... [1:01:03] I read this article that was saying was assisted suicide. That can't be true. [1:01:07] That can't be true. [1:01:09] Where did you see it? Because Aquino Canada has an assisted suicide program, a national assisted suicide program.

[1:01:15] Yeah. Can you imagine if there's some corruption in that? Holy crap. Well... [1:01:19] There's corruption in everything, Jeff. Everything. That's a bad one. Every fucking thing. There's corruption in religion. Oh, sure. Right? There's corruption in science. There's corruption in medicine. Which becomes a great excuse to not be a part of those things, you know? Oh, I won't even question if I have a creator because there's fouled people in the church. You're like, that's so stupid. [1:01:42] Yeah. Um, [1:01:44] Attack it for Canada. Wow. One in 20? One in America. Canada. I know, just yet. Canada. Yeah. Let me see the numbers. That's still a lot, isn't it? Show the perplexity. Look at this. This is crazy. Medical assistance in dying, known as MAID, also known as assisted suicide or euthanasia, accounted for approximately 4.7% of all deaths in Canada. That's wild. That is so crazy. How do we get more specific? [1:02:14] We'll read into it. This proportion is equivalent to about one in 20 deaths across the country. That is... [1:02:19] So fucking insane. One out of 20 people who die in Canada are getting assisted suicide. How many of those fucking people you could have given mushrooms to? They could have had an Ibogaine journey. Maybe they could have fucking done something differently with their life to get them out of depression. How many of them could have gotten alternative medical treatments that have dealt with their condition?

[1:02:46] So what are the conditions? Did you put that in there, Jamie? The average age of them is 70. 77. So they're pretty old. Yeah, that is old. But however, my mom's 80. She's great. Like what's going on? Yeah. She doesn't want to – like what is it? Just because you're 77, are you not enjoying life? [1:03:08] Is it... [1:03:37] they were doing it for people that don't really have a disease. So what are the parameters? Let's put this, ask a follow-up. [1:03:47] do you have to have wrong with you to qualified for made in Canada? [1:03:52] Let's just ask that. How do you qualify for me? Because if it's just you're depressed... [1:03:56] That's scary. That's crazy. Right. And... [1:03:59] Very irresponsible. If you have cancer and they're trying to just like, I'm done with my fight, please help me. Right. Is what track one is. That makes sense. But we're talking about track two. Be at least 18 years old and capable of making healthcare decisions. Right. [1:04:13] Be eligible for publicly funded health service. Okay, that's normal. Voluntary request, informed consent, have a serious and incurable illness, disease or disability causing enduring and intolerable suffering that cannot be alleviated under conditions acceptable to the person.

[1:04:30] But that's the key phrase there. Acceptable to the person is interesting. Be in an advanced state of irreversible decline in capability. Okay. Are people with depression – just write severe. Are people with severe depression – [1:04:46] Eligible for MAID. Write that. [1:04:48] Thank you. [1:04:51] Severe depression, because a lot of people would say that is an incurable disease. [1:05:01] Where would we be without the red squiggly line? I don't know how to spell anything anymore. I can't spell anything ever. I never have been. Jamie, you're rolling the dice with eligible? You're an animal. It knows. In Canada, people whose sole underlying medical condition is severe depression or any other mental illness are currently not eligible for medical assistance in dying. This temporary exclusion includes psychiatric conditions like depression and personality disorders. [1:05:31] in March 17, 2027. [1:05:34] However, people with mental illnesses may be eligible if they have a grievous or irremediable – boy, that's a word – [1:05:45] Have you ever said that word? Irremediable? Irremediable. I've never said that word. You know who you're talking to. I've never said that. But I've never even seen that. Irremediable? [1:05:52] Physical health condition that meets MAID's criteria. The government has delayed eligibility expansion for mental illness due to concerns around safety and appropriate safeguards. When MAID for mental illness becomes legal, they say it like it will be. 2027, March. Oh, okay. That's what I'd read. Okay. This was the issue. So they were going to. Okay. The law excludes eligibility for MAID on the basis of mental illness alone until March 17, 2027. So there's a year and a few months.

[1:06:22] these people are eligible for this. As of 2025, severe depression alone does not qualify. So what it seems like is a lot of people that are just not doing well [1:06:32] It's the end of their life. And they're like, I'd like to go out on my own terms. That's fair. [1:06:37] I don't want to just walk into a library with a 44 and make people clean up. Or they go, I'm a financial burden on my family. Right. Or those kind of things. Yeah. When you're an old person, you feel a little guilt that, like, ah, my kids. That's true. And also sometimes people, like, one of their loved ones dies and they don't want to be alone. Right. They just can't. They've been with this person for 45 years. My dad just died, and my mom is not doing great with the – I mean, she's been with him since she was 17. It's very hard. [1:07:07] fine up until then. [1:07:09] And it was just like the grief was just intolerable. Yeah, and she's feeling a lot of guilt because he was kind of cognitively – [1:07:18] Thank you. [1:07:19] Mm-mm. [1:07:20] I don't know how to say it politely. He was just kind of not himself for the last year. [1:07:26] When he passed. [1:07:28] My mom did feel a little relief, like, you know, "Oh, yeah, I'm kind of his caretaker." Right, right, right. And so then feel guilt about the relief. I don't want to feel relief that someone that I've known my whole life is gone, and then now trying to mourn that. It's very, very complicated. [1:07:47] It's real hard when someone has dementia or Alzheimer's or anything along those lines. The patience that these people have to work with dementia and those kind of – even an eating disorder is –

[1:07:59] You know, you can't really communicate it to the person when they have this body dysmorphia or something as simple as that. Those people are saints that can work with anybody cognitively or any kind of dysphoria. Those are heroes to me because I don't have the patience for it. I'm very direct. I'm very want to have a good time. I'm not good at being like, how don't you see this? Apparently, there's some really promising treatments for dementia and Alzheimer's. [1:08:27] One of them, I wonder if it was dementia or Alzheimer's, was the supplementation with selenium. [1:08:35] See if you can find what that is. That's why I was listening to that glance deck quickly, and I was like, I better remember this. I probably shouldn't say this on here, but... [1:08:42] There's a beautiful, great woman named Lydia who I've been hanging out with, and her mom had some sort of dementia or something like this. And their family had a real long debate about what the doctor recommended. It was shock therapy. And it worked. [1:09:02] Really? It works for now, I guess. At least they're all going, wait... [1:09:07] Now she's saying, didn't you just come over last week and we talked about that? Like she's having things – like that's why I'm saying I don't know if I should say it on here because there was a positive outcome of the shock therapy. Yeah. It's funny because someone just – [1:09:21] sent me a link to a documentary on shock therapy that was a negative thing. Can you believe they're still doing shock therapy? And I said, I don't know much about that. The only shock therapy I've ever heard was like you hear about the horror stories. I don't know. Right. One flew over the cuckoos next. Those are lumbotomies though, right? I think that was a shock therapy thing. I thought those were lumbotomies. Well, might be. It might be lumbotomies. Those we've all agreed. Although, dude, they were doing them long after they were out. They did them forever. Yeah, because those guys wanted money.

[1:09:51] I think it was the year I was born or the year before I was born, they stopped doing them. I heard all these stories about there would be people who would still... [1:10:00] you know, on the fringes of it, because they didn't want to shut down their practice. So they'd be like, hey, you know, we'll still give it to you. Oh, like basement abortions. Yeah, and they would be like, this authoritarian government's not even letting people have lombotomies, but we'll still do it. I'm the doctor that'll still do it. It's lobotomy. Is it? Am I saying it? I think it was shock therapy. You say lobotomy. Dude, you know what, Joe? For a big part of my life, I thought it was Sarah Bell's palsy. Hold on, what did you just say? The movie was shock therapy. Yeah, I watched it. No, it was. Okay. [1:10:30] And the Sarah Bell's palsy. Yes. We're watching this game or something. And the guy looked crazy. And I go, looks like he's got Sarah Bell's palsy. My friend. No one laughed. No one laughed. Which is a good comedy note is that if you say a thing wrong or it's a false premise or something, no one's on board with it. But if you say it around comedians. Well, I said around a bunch of people watching football. I go, looks like he's got a Sarah Bell's palsy. And everyone just looked at me. And my friend Katie's like, did you say Sarah Bell's? And I was like, wasn't that what it is? She's like, cerebral palsy. And I was like, I don't know. [1:11:00] I don't know how it ended. It says they discovered at the end he had been lobotomized. Is that in the book? The big chief guy was lobotomized. That's the plot of the movie. The big boy, yeah. Oh, so he was lobotomized, but was Jack Nicholson supposedly lobotomized as well? No, they were just in a cuckoo house. But at the end... Shock therapy here. Right, they did shock therapy, but remember at the end he was totally docile. Maybe they were letting you know he got lobotomized too. Mm-hmm.

[1:11:23] Probably. [1:11:25] They did that forever. When did they stop doing lobotomies? [1:11:28] Wasn't it like 67? Please, lumbotomy. Lumbotomies. Why don't they stop doing lumbotomies? [1:11:35] This is a thing I have. [1:11:37] What year was it? [1:11:38] I love to talk about plenty of things I know and don't know about. It's fun. The one doctor did almost all of them. [1:11:46] What? He did one-third of them. That's a lot. How many did he do? How rich was he? What was his net worth? I bet he had a nice big savings. I bet he had a huge savings. Yeah, one-third of his 3,500 lobotomies performed were successful, and 490 resulted in fatalities. Wait, hold on. He killed 490 people by scramble in their brains. Which ones were successful? Only one-third. They were perfect. What does that mean? Billy just drools. Now he doesn't fuck the dog anymore. [1:12:16] Now he's like, now he just sits there. It's not successful. [1:12:20] Hey, he doesn't fuck the dog anymore. It's a success. That's the guy? Oh, that fucking creepy-looking psycho. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's how they did it. They went right through the fucking eyeball, man. I thought they went through the nose. No, they go through the eyeball. They could do both, probably. I thought they always... There's one through the nose. Oh, there's the nose. That's the one I knew about. They do both ways. Through the nose. Through the fucking eyeball. Fucking God damn it. [1:12:42] And in the end, look, he's happy. Oh, I thought he was giving a thumbs up. He was a mess. I thought he was going, hell yeah. I feel great. Imagine if they just scrambled it a little. So it's like you're just on ecstasy all day. [1:12:53] We, I love everybody. I will say the first time I did mushrooms, I was like, because my buddy's like, the cool thing about mushrooms is that you don't want, it's not like cocaine or, or,

[1:13:03] E or anything. You're not going to become addicted to mushrooms. You're not going to do mushrooms every day. And then the second I did mushrooms, I was sitting in the chair and I was like, you guys were wrong. And they're like, what? I go, I just want to feel like this all the time. Like you lost your mind. Like this is the right state of being for me. It's the best. It should be legal. It's the best drug. It's better at making people better people than anything. [1:13:26] All I wanted to do, and still since then, is like, let's just talk and connect and let's find a way. Let's be nice. Yeah, let's be good. Let's be nice to each other. Nobel Prize for the... Oh, wow! Not the same doctor, but a different doctor. Oh, okay. Nobel Prize. That'd make people go ahead and get it, right? So they started getting him in 35, and then in 49, Dr. Moniz won the Nobel Prize for it. And so Dr. Freeman was the guy who did one-third of them? Yeah, he made it a 10-minute procedure. Nice. In and out. Nice. [1:13:56] It's quick. It's quick. You got an appointment at noon. Come in at 11. I'll have the kids drooling in the parking lot at 1135. It's like a chiropractor. Just come in. [1:14:06] When you're a small business owner, you're always looking for the next big thing. Whether you're a gym owner looking to expand, a store stocking up for a busy season, or a restaurant owner planning a new menu, [1:14:17] You'll always need capital to grow. [1:14:19] But traditional banks are making it harder than ever to secure a small business loan. [1:14:24] That's why thousands of business owners trust Cardiff for same-day funding. [1:14:28] Their online application takes less than five minutes and won't impact your personal credit score.

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[1:16:12] They don't go to medical school for three seconds. That's why I hate all those arguments of authority. You're not a scientist. It's like, well, neither are they, kind of. It was invented by a magnetic healer. [1:16:24] who was a kook, who learned about it in a seance. He was a complete kook. And then he was killed by his son, who was a con man. His son ran him over with a car, and then his son took over the business. [1:16:36] And then it got grandfathered in. And then he won a Nobel Peace Prize. But it got grandfathered in. But here's the thing. Manipulating the body in a positive way, like adjusting you, has some benefits. Deep tissue massage has a lot of benefits. Like manipulating tissue. I get a trigger point massage. It's really painful, but it's very effective. There's real benefits to it. So there's things that chiropractors do that do have like a real beneficial effect on your body being able to recover. [1:17:06] but the claims, at least in the beginning, are nuts. The initial claims is it's going to cure leukemia, thyroid cancer, just going to adjust your back, it's a C4, C5, disconnection, I'm going to pop, and then they grab you and yank your neck. Yeah, it's so scary. And sometimes people have fucking hemorrhages from these things, because they violently yank your neck, and a blood vessel pops, and you have a fucking stroke. And that's not happened just once. It's happened a bunch of times. I grew up playing video games, too, and watching all these action movies. [1:17:36] And I thought that just twisting a guy's head, like, you know, like you kill him. You think that's all it took, you know, like I snuck up behind that guy in the video game. And just that's all I did. Well, chiropractors are doing all day. Yeah. You ever seen him do it to babies? No. Oh, my God. It's so crazy. People that are like full on nuts have their babies brought to a chiropractor. And the chiropractor is adjusting the baby's skull and moving the baby's. I would not. I'm like, yo. Your parental ideas of like they're all scrapped. Like you're supposed to keep it safe.

[1:18:06] of handing it to a chiropractor. They believe it. They believe it. And so they think they're doing a good thing. Jamie, am I allowed to ask Jamie to bring things up? Yeah, fuck you. Jamie, can you bring up some dog chiropractors? Have you seen this? Oh, I've seen it. And the dogs look at the chiropractor like, what'd you just do? But also, I do feel a little bit better. The dog's so sweet about it, like... [1:18:25] I think I'm good, actually. You got to get the right dog for that job. A lot of pit bulls because they're all strong and shit. And so, like, they'll just adjust it. Yeah. I've seen, like, montages of it, and it's pretty adorable. [1:18:36] Why is he going to do this dog's neck? Please don't. I heard he did it upstarted. [1:18:39] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. And look at the dog looking up at him. I don't think you need to do that to that dog. I don't think that's necessary. Watch this. [1:18:46] Look at the way he looked at him. [1:18:47] But here's the thing, like what studies are they showing where this is all good? [1:18:51] That's a Belgian Malinois, bro. You can't hear it, but it goes... I don't want to hear it. I don't know if that... [1:19:00] Does anything. I don't know if that's good. I think if you got your dog a massage, it'd be really good for them. [1:19:05] But I think all that snapping and the popping, are you loosening it up and making it more mobile? Well, if that's the case, you can do that with spinal decompression and massage. I have this thing that I – I've been doing it with my friend's dogs, and they've been loving it. I put this thing on my neck. I'm like, don't do that. You're going to get a bitch. I put this thing on my head. It goes underneath my chin. It's got like a rope and a hoop that hangs on my chin-up bar, and I just relax. I've seen them advertise it because you use it. Oh, there you go. [1:19:32] Look at this. He's giving his dog a back...

[1:19:35] Crack. Oh, bro. That's the camel's clutch, dude. You're just lucky that dog is sweet. He's letting you do your nonsense. Dude, this guy. Dogs just love getting rubbed. That's all it is, yeah. Yeah, they love getting rubbed. That's all petting is, is kind of a massage, you know? That's what they love. Yeah, exactly. They love massages. They don't have to pretend they don't. You love massages, too. Everybody does. We don't have to ask them about that. They like it. If we were like dogs, everybody would just lie down on the floor and let people rub them. Yeah, it'd be fine. You come over to my house, dude, Marshall will lie down immediately and let you rub them. That's my favorite thing about dogs. He assumes you want to rub his belly. Yeah. [1:20:05] Who'd he vote for? No, dogs aren't ever worried. My dog would go up to a homeless. They don't care. What's up, homeless guy? Yeah, he loves them. Yeah, they're the best. [1:20:17] We don't deserve them. But I don't think they should go to a chiropractor. But people that think that you should bring your doctor, it's because they believe in the chiropractors. There's a great article called Chiropractors Are Bullshit. [1:20:28] Pull that article up. [1:20:31] The lady who wrote it was on the podcast, and I read the article, and then I had her explain it to me. Yeah. It was back in L.A., and I was like, oh, this is a nutty thing. I thought they were doctors. They thought they were actual doctors. I went to one of those ones. It's called The Joint, and you can just walk in, and they'll do it. [1:20:48] I think a lot of it for me was placebo. I just thought, oh, they told me this is good for me, so I'm doing it. I wasn't having pain or anything. Yves Detremont is the lady who was on the podcast that wrote this article. But it's crazy. I like the title. It's a crazy story. Very direct. When you read the story of how it was invented, you're like, this is nuts. Because it's one of those things that's just grandfathered in. And if you're allowed to be doctor, we should be doctors of comedy. Would you like to be Dr. Jeff? Jeff M.D., dude. Oh, wait, not M.D. What would it be?

[1:21:18] So... [1:21:18] laughter, which is the best medicine. Sure. So I think we should get doctors of comedy. Maybe we should do that like at the mothership, just start handing out doctorates of comedy. That's how you get past, kind of. You headline, you do your first theater tour, I'll give you a doctorate. I worked under Ron White, and then I got my... I mentored under Ron White. Exactly. Ron White was patient zero here. [1:21:40] Because Ron moved out here before the pandemic. Really? Yeah. He's the reason why I decided to move out here. Because, you know, Ron and I have been real close forever. And knowing him from the comedy store, he was always like one of the coolest guys to hang out with. He's the best, dude. He's the best. And so we were hanging out in the back bar, and he was telling me he's moving to Texas. I go, what? What are you doing? You're here. Sounds insane, yeah. This is nuts. He's like, oh, it's the best. He goes, I want to keep my house out here in Beverly Hills. But this fucking place is the food's the best. The people are nice. [1:22:10] If I want to fly, I'm in the middle. It's three hours here, three hours. And I was like, damn, he's got a good point. So when the shit started getting weird in L.A. and they were burning cop cars on the freeway, that's when daddy was like, I got to get out of here. [1:22:24] My kids were little, 10 and 12 at the time, the little ones. And I was like, this is dangerous. And we all agreed. It just doesn't feel right. I don't feel like they're going to open this up. I think this is bullshit. [1:22:36] Let's get the fuck out of here. It's not like you're an actor. Exactly. Right. Exactly. I was like, I'm flying. You acted, but you weren't an actor. I wasn't interested in doing it anymore. And we were flying a lot of the guests out anyway. [1:22:48] And I was like, I'll figure it out. I'll do Zoom calls. I don't want to do this. Right. I don't want to live here. I want to live my life. I'd be happy making less money and doing it somewhere else. And maybe it's not as good. Have you thought about making other motherships? We did. We have. We've talked about where we talked about New York. We've talked about Vegas. What about Florida? We've talked. Here's the thing.

[1:23:10] To do it, I mean this is just like based on what we've done in Austin, right? What we did in Austin. [1:23:16] is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity where we hit every green light. [1:23:20] Every green light along the way, we got in the right spot. So, like, the only way this club happens, first of all, is I'm friends with Adam Egott, and I've been friends with Adam Egott from back when he was – [1:23:34] He was running the improv in Tempe. So that's when I knew him. I knew him from back then. And then he came to California, and he started working at the comedy store when I had already been banned. So I had been banned, and I had gone on my seven-year exodus. And he came to meet me at the improv. They showed you, by the way. [1:23:52] What? Comedy store. They really showed you. So he came to meet me at the improv. He's like, dude, come back. It's you know, I'm there now. I'm the talent coordinator. And I thought about it. And then I wound up coming back because of Ari, because, you know, Ari Shafir is one of my closest friends. And he was filming his special there. And I had known Ari since he was a doorman. I knew him when he was a doorman there. And now he's filming a special. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I have to be there. [1:24:19] I have to be there for him. And I went there a day before just so I could relax because it was weird because I hadn't been there in seven years. Yeah. [1:24:28] It was super friendly, hugged everybody. It was great. And then I saw Ari, and Ari killed, and the special was awesome. And it was just such a happy moment to see him accomplish this thing, going from being a doorman to having your own Comedy Central special. While he was also doing a show on Comedy Central. That's what he was doing. This is not happening. Yeah, I was on that. So it was like –

[1:24:54] I had to come back. So that was 2014. [1:24:58] and becoming really good friends with Adam and knowing him from the improv, like knowing him from back in the day and then becoming friends with him when he was the account coordinator, we had talked about like what are the problems with running a club? Like what is the problems with like people telling you, oh, you have to have more of this on your show or more of that on your show or you're problematic and people getting mad about this, mad about that. I'm like it's got to be a meritocracy. As much as that bothers some people, the people that bothers – [1:25:24] They're never good. [1:25:25] David Tell's never complaining about diversity. You know what I'm saying? It's like the people that are complaining, generally they're mediocre at best. And he was like, you're right. I go, but you can't give in to them because there's a lot of them. And they yell and they make it seem like it's a big deal. But the big deal is laughs, doing good comedy, having an original idea, being funny. Here's the world through my eyes. This is how I've crafted it for you. That's all it is. Everything else is a fucking distraction. [1:25:55] And so wouldn't... [1:25:57] The comedy store shut down and then I moved out here. There was like a long time where I was like, I don't know what to do. Like do I stop doing comedy now and just do this podcast? Like no one is doing comedy. It was months and months of no comedy. And then Dave and I started doing shows at Stubbs. So Dave was like, I want to do a show at Stubbs. [1:26:17] oh let's do like a residency there i'm like fuck yeah let's do it so he and i did like we had done a ton of shows a bunch of arena shows before the pandemic together and so the stubs thing came along and i was like okay yeah let's just do this all right we're doing this now i guess we're doing comedy again and then we started doing comedy at the vulcan and the vulcan is indoor and it's loud and it's rowdy and it was naughty like it was crazy you're doing a november 2020 indoor show

[1:26:47] happening then everybody started moving here then everything then everything got weird and i was like whoa we got like tom segura moved here duncan trussell moved here tony hinchcliffe moved here brian simpson moved here i was like whoa we got a crew here derrick poston moved here son amad moved here i'm like we got a real crew here and then it just kept escalating tim dylan came it was like over and over again joe de rosa came shane killis came it was like and so while all [1:27:17] moving there like it feels better here like the scene feels more alive [1:27:21] Because L.A. was still shut down. [1:27:23] And so then – [1:27:25] And Ron White basically grabbed me by the shoulders one night after he hadn't done stand-up in like six months. And he grabs me and goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're going to keep doing this. You've got to open up a club. I'm like, we're going to open up a club. Let's go. We're going to open up a club. Yeah, let's do it. And then that's how it all started. But we had to hit every light. Like Adam had to be out of a job. All the people that we got from the comedy store that were great, we brought over a bunch of people. They all had to be out of a job. Right. So the comedy store had to be closed. Otherwise, why would you leave the comedy store? It's the greatest place on earth. Yeah. [1:27:55] else had to be closed down. So the comics knew that they could do stand-up in Texas. And so like, well, let's just go to Texas. And it just... [1:28:02] People decided I like doing stand-up more than I like living in L.A. Yeah. And then once they came out here, they realized, I think I like it out here better. [1:28:10] It is. It's amazing what we've got. Also, my favorite thing about the scene here... [1:28:14] is... [1:28:16] The mothership helps everything around as well. So...

[1:28:21] I can't get over, every time that I've been here, how inviting, how cool all the young comics are. All these guys who would... [1:28:31] chew off their arm to get a spot at your club are here for it. And they're here at these other places. They're doing all these other things because they believe in what the mothership's doing. And there's all this other stuff. So it has the most buzz as far, not buzz, that's a stupid word. It has the, it has a feeling. It has like this vibe. It has this aura. Whereas like that used to be in New York and that used to be in LA. And I don't feel it in those places anymore. I'm actually lucky that I can go do the cellar and I can go do the stand and I can do those things. [1:29:01] comedy store, I go to the improv, I'm at a place where they'll have me. But there's not like a bunch of young guys doing small shows and excited at the idea of even going over to the store after their spots. Your club has that. Well, there's a couple things it has an advantage of, right? One is Kill Tony. That's the biggest advantage. The big advantage of there's a show that's Monday night that is the biggest live comedy show on planet Earth, and you might be able to get on it. And if you've got a tight minute, and you could fucking kill, they're going to ask you back. And if you [1:29:31] oh my god you might have a fucking career you might have a fucking career and that's happened time and time again like cam patterson is on snl right now yes sir and that came straight out of kiltony 100 and you know and cam is super fucking talented but so is hans kim so is a lot of william montgomery there's a lot of people coming out of there that that do great and they they have a real career now ari maddy has a real career now it's amazing casey rocket it's an amazing resource

[1:30:01] big one is that there's a real pathway. And then there's also two nights of open mic night. [1:30:05] Two nights. So we make sure. We have plenty of open mic night time. Yeah. You get to do an open mic night at the best club in the world. And then on top of that, it's like. [1:30:14] The club is the only club that I know of that was designed – [1:30:18] Not to make money. [1:30:20] All I wanted to do is break even. I'm like, I just don't want to lose any money. Because it's so much money to make a club and build it in the first place. You have to buy a building. You have to hire all these people to fix it. It's a lot of money invested. I'm like, I just don't want to lose a lot of money. Which is why a lot of owners have terrible reputations because they do all these corner cutting. They're trying to fuck you over. Yeah, but they're also desperate in a way. Like these guys, I like club owners, but there's a lot of crazy club owners. [1:30:50] of like, I got to keep this alive. I don't want to keep losing money. I used to tell comics, be nice to club owners because you don't want to be one. You do not want to be one. And then I went and became one. But you're doing it honorably. I'm lucky that I have other ways of making a living. Most club owners, they're club owner by definition. That's what they do for a job. This is not what I do for a job. This is just I do this literally to make a comedy environment. The club is set up so the comedians get most of the money. [1:31:20] Because that's how it should be. That's great. People aren't coming to see drinks. Right. They're coming to see a guy do his art, a woman do her art on stage. Yep. So that person should get most of the money. And that's how it should be. And it should be that way because –

[1:31:36] It's the right way to do it and because it builds the art form. You have more people making money so they don't have to leave as much. They don't have to go out of town as much. They can stay in town and develop and work on new stuff. And there's all these satellite rooms. There's the Sunset Strip that's right down the street from us. You could walk there in three minutes. That's Red Band's club. It's killing. Creaking the K is an awesome spot. That's where Gillis filmed his first YouTube special. It's amazing. It's a great club. [1:32:06] pandemic and then you've got all these other clubs cap city's a great fucking club that's just 20 minutes away they're all there's a bunch of these satellite rooms all around this place that are killing it right now yeah because comedy is a fun thing to do it and people love you know and we can do it in a way where it's not connected to fucking hollywood it's not connected to movies it's not connected to tv it's an art form in and of itself that had been prostituted out for so long [1:32:36] That people thought like the golden goose was be a late night talk show host. That was the golden goose. A job that I wouldn't. There's no fucking way. If they doubled my money, I'd be like, I'm not doing that. I can't do it. It's not me. Right. [1:32:49] When it's also not really stand-up. So many times people are like, so do you want to like – are you doing this because of like you want to be a movie star? I was like, no. I'm doing it because I love stand-up comedy. Yeah. I just watched the Starting Five of – it's called Starting Five on Netflix, but they follow NBA players. And the annoying part is like their wives and girlfriends. I think that's the annoying part. Like I want to hear them talk about –

[1:33:11] basketball like the thing they love right that inspires me because i look at the way i pursue comedy the way they pursue their basketball you know like their career so anyways but what i was inspired by was like kevin durant who i thought i hated my whole life was awesome he just wants to play basketball like that's all it is for him he's like yeah i'm i just want to go out there and hoop and he keeps going to that thing of like man i don't want to have these arguments in barbershops about the greatest ever or any of those things i he makes money but it's not about the money for him [1:33:41] about the chicks, those are all symptoms of what he pursues. And I love that because I'm like, yeah, I just love the joke part. I love that I can write a bit. [1:33:50] And then that night, try it, and people love it, or they go, what an interesting idea, or that's funny, or that's naughty, or that's – I've never thought of it like that. When you're campaigning on a political trail or whatever, like when you go to the Trump rally or – I don't know what Kamala Harris called her thing, but those aren't undecided voters. Those are people who are there because they're already in. You're not even talking to anyone who's considering voting for anyone else when you go to a thing like that. [1:34:20] When they're in that audience, they're just looking at you and going, hey, bro, bring me some jokes. And so I can now do jokes about what I think and what I believe. And the crowd will listen to me and decide if I'm not funny or funny. But you're getting into their ear. You're getting into them going, I've never thought of it like that. That guy was making some pretty good jokes up there about a subject that I thought I wouldn't hear. I think comedy is such a gift that way. But I was like, I think I'm like Kevin Durant.

[1:34:50] I like the girls and I like the money and I like, I love all this stuff. But for me, I did a spot here. I can't remember what it was. And they were like, dude, we can't thank you enough for coming. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like I get up on any fucking stage and he tried to slide me money. I go, give it to the other guys. Like I came to do this because I was happy you'd have me on. Like I just couldn't. That's a great attitude. Yeah, it's so much better to just tell jokes. Yeah. I don't need to be famous. That would be a good symptom. That'd be a great symptom of it. [1:35:20] problems. [1:35:21] All those other stuff? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, all those stuff. But... [1:35:25] That's the best attitude is just love what you do. Love what you do and all the success comes – [1:35:31] Because of it. But the moment you start thinking about the success only and then making decisions based only on getting and attaining more success instead of thinking about the thing. Yeah. And that's what they do. They seduce you. They go, want to be in this movie? Those are the hyenas. Like you were saying. The hyenas, they circle. But I don't want to be an actor. And thank you for the opportunity. And I love that you believe you can make some money off me by putting me in that.

[1:36:01] say anything I'd like and make jokes is so exciting to me. If they put a billion dollars in my bank account tomorrow, I'll still go do my spot tonight at the mothership in Fat Man. And if tomorrow they said, Jeff, you make zero dollars doing this. You might want to find a day job. I'll go, okay, but I'm still doing my spot, right? This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability. But even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. [1:36:31] Finding the right kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. ZipRecruiter connects you with qualified candidates instantly, and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list, so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start. Use ZipRecruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast. [1:37:01] who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by Tecovas. All right, guys, if you want boots that are made right, you got to check out Tecovas. Their Western boots are sturdy and clearly built to last, but really sharp and premium too.

[1:37:31] don't need to break them in either. They're comfortable straight out of the box and great boots for those summer concerts, weddings, work events, whatever. And they're versatile too. You can wear them with jeans, dress them up or down, whatever you need. Tocovus has all the classic leathers like cowhide and goat, but they've got all the exotics too for when you want to level up your look. [1:37:55] If you've been thinking about your next pair of boots or, hey, even your first pair, go check out Tecovas in-store or online at tecovas.com. That's T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com. And right now, get 10% off at tecovas.com slash Rogan when you sign up for email and texts. Still going to do it, no matter what. Yeah. Yeah, I just love it. Yeah, I would do it forever. It's the most fun art form. Yeah. [1:38:25] enough to be able to do it and make money doing it is incredible you should be happy yeah if you're fucking complaining you're missing out oh dude i won't say this comic's name because uh you know i just don't want any trouble with this guy but i remember i was at a festival and um and i'm more criticizing his attitude on that night uh we're in the green room and they were like so excited to have him because he's a very funny guy and very talented and they said um they go so how much time do you want to do [1:38:52] He was like, how much time? [1:38:55] Am I contracted to do? And they were like, oh, well, you know, your book's for 45 minutes, but I was just letting you know you're at the end of the show and everyone's here to see you, so just do whatever you want. He goes, then I'm doing the 45 minutes. And I remember thinking, what the fuck is wrong with you? Ew. Like, they're happy you're here. Ew. Everyone is excited. Yeah, just, if you tell me that, bro, I'm on stage for two hours. 45 minutes is good, but I'm going to stay up there, you know, because I like being up there. Yeah, it's fun.

[1:39:25] - Boo. - It's not, you're not pouring concrete, dude. Like you get to go tell jokes to these people. Like what an exciting job you have. That's exciting. - I think where that comes from is like in the beginning, it's like really hard. It's hard to do, it's hard to get paid. [1:39:42] It's hard. And then you build up a resentment. [1:39:45] To the point where... [1:39:46] Even after you make it, you take it for granted, and now you think, like, what do I have to do? 45 minutes, and that's what I'm doing. Crazy. I hate that. Yeah, you're like, instead of like, wow, I made it. I actually – [1:39:57] I can actually get paid to go do comedy now. [1:39:59] A good 45 minutes is not important. Okay, I'll go fuck around. Have some fun. Let's go have some fun. Exactly. Like, that's... So, I've worked at Hollywood Video. I've worked at any coffee shop that was... Like, I've had over, like, 40 different coffee jobs. Because I just couldn't keep a job. Like, I was always living somewhere different or, like, pursuing comedy so aggressively that, like, I just needed a job. So, I was good at getting the job. And then I would fuck off or do something stupid and I'd get, like, let go or I'd move and just ghost that job. You know, I've had all these jobs. But... [1:40:28] Whether it was Hollywood Video or Rock Bottom Brewery or whether it was any of these million coffee shops I worked at, I was always the fun guy at the job that made friends with everyone and goofed off. Because it's more fun to have a good attitude at work and like the job than it is to hate the job. Right. Because – not because the job was great but because it's going to be a better experience here if I like it, if I at least trick myself into liking it.

[1:40:58] in a Hollywood video. [1:41:01] I want to enjoy my job. Like that was more fun to like be happy to be there. So now we get to do comedy, which is the dream. And you're you have that attitude. Like I just can't get my mind around that. Well, there's some people that think they have to be miserable to be good. [1:41:16] There's a weird thing that I think some artists feel like they have to kind of suffer from [1:41:22] In order to be funny. [1:41:24] Like they have to be upset. They have to be angry. [1:41:27] I used to think that when I was really young and dumb, I was thinking that maybe I should stop meditating. Because if I meditate and achieve any kind of enlightenment, I don't think things are so annoying anymore that I could shit on them on stage, which is a big part of my act. Yeah, you didn't want to be happy. I didn't want to be happy. Yeah, yeah. But that was me at 21 or whatever it was. [1:41:57] or any of those things. Like, I really, really respect every time Jerry Seinfeld talks on podcasts or interviews or whatever because he's like Buddha of comedy. Like, the way he talks about work ethic, the way he talks about joke writing, the way he's very disciplined, he's very good. So I always hang on everything Jerry says in those things. I think he's the best. Look up any time he's been interviewed. But... [1:42:16] Jerry, although he's clean... [1:42:18] He's a clean comic. And although he's a husband and a dad, and no matter what he's labeled as, he seems to be very at peace in his life and very successful and rich. He does have this edge to him. There still is like an irritability. Yeah. And I think that's probably what you were thinking at 21 of like, I need that. I need to be. Well, he's also smart and he's talking to morons all the time. And that's how you get an edge like that. Yeah. Probably doesn't have like a tight crew of cool people that he could just chill with. Sure. I agree.

[1:42:48] You're smarter than kids. [1:42:51] Right, but you also, you made a billion dollars from a sitcom you did in the 90s. You never have to work again for a day in your fucking life. You have a hundred Porsches. You're just collecting Porsches. You're bored as fuck. And then morons, you know what my favorite episode was? I don't fucking care. I don't want to hear this anymore. I'm sure you get that all the time. Someone wants to tell you a story about a thing and you go, I don't know. Well, I think I'm a little more tolerant than him. Yeah. But he's, I get it. I get why he would be a little prickly. Like some of the questions are really fucking stupid. Oh, for sure. [1:43:21] There was a big racism controversy about his show, comedians in cars drinking coffee. [1:43:26] Which is why I'm surprised he's not more vocal about that, but he did a great thing. He's like, I don't care. Speak the language of funny. If you're funny, I don't care what you are, which is the right answer. And a lot of people are like, oh, that sounds racist. That's a great answer. This is crazy. If that's racist, you're expecting something that you're not going to get, which you're expecting people to abandon meritocracy in the most meritocracy-based art form. You have to have a specific response from people. You have to get a laugh. Yeah. And you're creating it all yourself. [1:43:56] It's just you. Yeah, that's it. And so if it's comedians that you think are funny – [1:44:02] And they happen to be whatever. It's just who's funny. Because everything else is bullshit. This idea of there's not enough women, there's not enough black people, there's not enough... It's insane. Stop. Right. Right. [1:44:12] Stop. Yeah. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. There was an interview that goes, what do you say to the people who criticize that you don't have enough people of color or blah, blah, blah? And then he goes, I don't know. I'm looking at your audience. A lot of whiteys in here. That's what he said. Oh, it's the best because it's like it's so true. So true. Look at your friend groups. Look at your life. Fuck off. When you start running it through everyone's genitals and skin color, you could call every culture racist. Right.

[1:44:42] Polynesian, you know, he's a Pacific Islander guy. [1:44:46] One real diverse family reunion, right? Because that's the beauty of a culture is that you kind of have – the whole point of having a culture is to have some advantages. I can't just wander into your family's thing and go, how come there's no more – there's not any Filipinos here. That's not how it works. I would say that – I think I've said it a couple times on stage, but I wonder if liberals go to Japan and they're like, this is disgusting. It's all Japanese people here. It's not very diverse. I wonder. [1:45:16] Oh, my gosh. Where's the diversity here? That's not how things work. No, there's a lot of countries that aren't diverse at all. And it's fine as long as they're black. You know what I mean? If it's like all black, it's totally fine. But all like Poland's a problem. That's a real problem. Yeah, it's insane to me. [1:45:35] People are just weird, you know, and look, racism is bad. So because racism is because actual racism is bad, people look for racism all sorts of places and they start deciding that things are racist or, you know, they can do with a lot of stuff. Like, you know, we were talking about this the other day, this idea of silence is violence. Like, shut the fuck up. That's crazy. Nobody ever punched you then. Yeah. I'll show you some violence. Then you'll go, hey, can we go back to the silence? Come to the UFC with me. I'll show you what like this is. See, that's what violence is. Yeah. This is way worse. This is the sport of it. [1:46:05] Like that's actual violence, not fucking words. It's definitely not silence. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. And then they start using sticks and stones. You go, let's go back to names. I'm happy with names. There was less blood when you were calling me names. Yeah, you're being silly. Silence is not violence, you fucking idiot. That's so dumb. Silence is just silence. It's pretty nice. But it shows what you want is what you want forced people to comply.

[1:46:32] You want to force people to say what you want them to say. Right. Put that black square on your Instagram. It's a leverage of power. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's a bunch of losers. It's usually a bunch of losers at the wheel of that bus. Yeah. And they're going right off the cliff, and they want to bring you with them. Like, what are you doing? Not a fun place. Not fun. Yeah, don't like it. Not fun. That's not the world we live in. Yeah. Or it's not the universe that comics like to live in at all. That's the other thing about all these people pushing all these different things to call everybody an ist or whatever the fuck you are. [1:47:02] You have a phobia, whatever it is. All these people seem to be miserable. Yeah. Yeah. [1:47:07] Yeah, they don't seem very happy. In the same world. And they're proud of their anger. Which is odd. Yeah. It's like, find some things to love, okay? There's a lot to love in this world. Comic went on and killed Tony last night. He was so great, and I am remiss that I don't remember his name. And he was able to rattle off, which I'm sure he's done before. It's probably in his act. But he was able to rattle off all his interests. He's like, oh, I'm in. Universal Studios, let's go. Monster Truck Rally, let's do it. And I was like, I immediately wanted to be friends with this guy because I'm like, that's how I want to live. [1:47:37] do live like that and I was like dude I can identify with this so much the little kid in me is like yeah whatever it is let's go I go to the gay pride parade I've got a lot of gay friends let's fucking do it like like whatever it is right that's so much better of an attitude I'm just like let's let's do it all let's let's let's jump in these things like that's so much more fun than going we're not going there because of this and we're not doing that because of this and this is probably it's like it's too exhausting well a lot of people like being exhausted because it keeps them active right?

[1:48:06] They've got something to think about. It's their sports. Yeah, it is. Politics for a lot of people is their sport. And it's not just their sports. It's like their fanatical Red Sox fans. It's their religion. Yeah. [1:48:16] Red Sox to the death. And that's what it is. Like, fuck the Yankees. That's all it is, man. But it's the same thing. So the sports one is where I think is a little different because – [1:48:25] The Yankees fan doesn't want to murder the Red Sox fan. Unless you're in Philly. We both still like baseball. They break people's legs in Philly. Yeah, sometimes. But I'm saying... [1:48:34] They still like baseball. Yes. They can still agree, oh, we're at the ballpark. We're having a hot dog. And it's like, fuck you. And you're like, fuck you. And that's fun. But the people that claim they hate religion the most are acting their politics out like religious zealots. Right. They're going, well, this is – I wouldn't even – Jimmy Kimmel's wife. I can't even talk to them anymore. I don't think she said that. I think she said she was having a hard time. [1:48:58] talking to i might be i've watched it a bunch but so what happened was she said that she was always struggling with it since trump's been in office but now she doesn't even want to be with these people because it's personal to her that like that now she's made the decision to not uh and it's like that's that's where it's a problem struggling with it's fine if family reunies want to have a talk with your aunt who voted for trump or something i think that's healthy you know let's

[1:49:28] probably pretty stupid. But when you start going, I won't even be associated with that person because of whatever it is. That's a problem. Well, it doesn't seem smart. It doesn't seem healthy. [1:49:39] If you don't have any room for disagreement. But it's also like the thing between Kimmel and Trump is so dumb. It's very dumb. It's so dumb. [1:49:48] I can't believe – [1:49:50] And then he went after Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers as well, right? Yeah. Called them losers too? Yes, yes, yes. That's crazy. I know. That's so dumb. [1:50:01] I don't understand. I guess no one is around to tell him that. He must be in a bubble. He's 100% in a bubble, but that's also the way he's behaved his whole life. That's how he would attack you if he was on The Apprentice. [1:50:14] You know, I was supposed to do The Celebrity Apprentice. I was supposed to do it, too, but way after it was good. [1:50:19] I was supposed to do it with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, I was supposed to do it with him. With Trump? Yes. Okay. It was when Fear Factor was returning to NBC. They asked me to do Celebrity Apprentice, and I thought about it. My kids were really young at the time. I didn't want to live in New York. And I was like, how long does it take? It takes forever. And then I was like, that guy's going to be mean to me. And I'm going to be like, fuck it. I know, it's not fun. I'm like, that's not going to be fun. Like, I'm not good with that. You know, I'll get real. I wonder what your political opinion would be of Trump if you had done Celebrity Apprentice. [1:50:46] Interesting. I think he always had an understanding of – [1:50:52] like how the whole political process worked. Like there's an interesting interview of him way back in the day. I think he was talking to Barbara Walters maybe.

[1:51:04] It was a really old interview where he was talking about maybe one day running for president. And this is back when he was a Democrat. He was a Democrat for a long portion of his life. [1:51:17] Um... [1:51:18] And, you know, I think Elon said it best. He's a product of his time. [1:51:22] And that's the thing. This is an almost 80-year-old man who's a real estate guy who likes to see his name in big gold letters. Loves America. Because that's what he always liked. He's like, I like my name, big gold letters. Everything's big and gold. That's what he genuinely likes. Which if people knew that about him, they would give him a little more grace when he says crazy things. Because if you read his book, there was a part where he was like – Okay, do you think he really wrote the book? [1:51:47] No, but I don't think anyone does. Dennis Rodman didn't write his book. He just had a guy follow him. Some people write their own book, for sure. But not the majority. Yeah. Or actually, that's not true. The majority of people write their own books. The majority of celebrities have someone follow them and talk to them in coffee shops. They have ghost writers. They have ghost writers. But he was like, this building's the biggest in New York. It's the best. And they were like, it's not even the biggest building in this. And he goes, you know what I mean. And if you know that, then you kind of give him a little more grace when he's just saying, [1:52:17] It's just kind of how he is. Right, right, right. I'm the best. It doesn't mean he's really the best. It means he's got an attitude of the best. You saw the BBC thing, right? What thing? You didn't see the thing where BBC got in trouble for editing his speech? We talked about it yesterday. Oh. [1:52:32] I'll just tell you real briefly. So they took a segment of him saying something and then spliced in a segment of him saying something else from 50 –

[1:52:42] Three minutes later. Right. The storm in the Capitol. Yes. Right. From the January 6th. Crazy. Yeah. Which is not journalism. Not journalism, but like full on lying and propaganda. And it's kind of fucking dangerous. And those are the things. [1:52:57] People watch. That's what I was saying. That shortened bullshit. Yes, but these people lost their jobs because of it. It's a big deal. Yeah, and not only that, but like they're getting hounded by reporters. They're asking them and the answers that they have for why they did what they did. It's like crazy. They felt it seems like these people. This is just my opinion. [1:53:17] Seems like these people felt justified. [1:53:20] for completely lying because it would lead to an ultimate good. So they lost all journalistic integrity. And it is the BBC, which is like the height of journalistic integrity. If that doesn't show the rot of mainstream corporate-controlled media, then nothing does. Right. Because that's pure rot. If at the top of the heap, you got like – in my mind, if somebody said something to me and they quoted a source, [1:53:50] Okay, that's like Washington Post. That's like New York Times. It's a very official source. So I'm thinking this must be real. [1:53:57] And they... [1:53:58] turned it into activism. [1:54:00] and they turned it into lying. [1:54:02] And they did it... [1:54:03] in front of everybody where you could clearly just listen to the whole thing and know he didn't say that but that's not how he said it at all yeah it's like well and i think uh i i'm sorry that i keep harping on this but like that's what aoc or kind of the left i see most guilty of doing is in their brain they go i know that this is a little like whatever but it's for our greater good right so they're they're they're doing that with their own thing listen i don't i'm smart enough

[1:54:33] trying to make a point about blank. But if I twist this a little, it's for the greater good of what I'm trying to do here. And so they justify it to themselves. They say, "Oh, well now I know that I might have been a little politician-y here, but it's for a greater good. And it's vague. And it's like, listen, look, he hates black people." That's why Obama disappointed me so much during the Kamala Harris campaign. [1:54:58] Because he did that thing where he said that white nationalists are very fine people. [1:55:05] He said we have very fine people on both sides. And do you hear the actual quote and the difference between what they're saying he said and what he said? What he said was the exact opposite. He said, and I'm not talking about neo-Nazis and white nationalists. [1:55:19] He's like – I forget the exact wordage he used. [1:55:23] They should be condemned, whatever he said, along those lines. He specifically said, not those people. I'm talking about people that just didn't want these statues torn down. Yes. That there's very fine people on both sides. [1:55:35] Some people just go, yeah, Robert E. Lee is a really bad guy, but this is a part of history. It is. Yeah. This is just reality. Yeah. [1:55:44] Yeah. [1:55:46] Using that during... [1:55:48] Kamala Harris' campaign, I was like, that's great. You know what he said. You must know. They cut it up. But why would you sacrifice what's so valuable is like your stature and your integrity? Why would you sacrifice that for someone who just probably wasn't going to win anyway? Right. I mean, I don't know if it's money or if it's some sort of oath or if it's intentional, whatever. But like that stuff's so dangerous. I really like that shortening of like what someone said, taking it out of context.

[1:56:18] I think there's also the consequences of people going to trial for that Russiagate stuff because I think that – [1:56:25] That Russiagate collusion hoax that they perpetrated on mainstream media for years. And a lot of people are really uncomfortable with even saying it was a hoax. No, it was a hoax, ladies and gentlemen. It was a hoax. And a lot of people coordinated that hoax. And there was a lot of people involved. And I think they're super sketched out about Trump being president again and possibly digging into that stuff. And he's doing that now. Yeah. [1:56:55] agencies, you think, what are they here for? They're here to make America safe and protect us from problems. [1:57:00] It seems like they also meddle. Yeah. And not just meddle, but like completely try to sabotage someone and paint them out in a way that's completely inaccurate, knowingly, willingly, with taxpayer dollars, funding it all. For the greater good. For their greater good. Bro, I might say very fine people, too, if I was doing that. I might say whatever. He's a fucking Nazi. Let's not. He's Hitler. Let's say whatever the fuck. Keep him out of office. [1:57:30] with the, in a way, that's kind of what happened with the Epstein list thing. I think the reason you're never going to see that is because there's just too many powerful people that are in that that are on both sides. It would kind of be a, not a collapse, but a social kind of collapse of both sides. I mean, I don't think there's like, you're not going to find all liberals went to this island. You're not going to find all conservatives went to this island. You're going to see a list of some of those very powerful creeps on everything.

[1:58:00] So it's like both this stalemate of the right and the left going, maybe we just won't do this. But it's not just that. It's this ball of yarn of... [1:58:09] What did they do with the information? What did they – if they did compromise you and they did fly you out to an island, you did have sex with underage girls, what did you do then when you were confronted by the fact that they know this? Right. What did you do? Like what decisions were made? What foreign policy decisions were made? What financial decisions were made? Yeah. What money got donated? How much money transferred back and forth to different accounts because of things that happened there? Yeah. [1:58:39] Decisions were made by people in powerful positions because someone has a video of them doing something very compromising on an island. That's why I'm glad that I mean, I might be very rich or anything. But like if something, you know, if they try to figure out something on me, this is this would be their research. They'd be like, we found Jeff died. He likes a Sprite. [1:59:03] You know? [1:59:05] He also watches pro-reg. They'd have nothing. They'd just be searching. Well, you're not a guy who's trying to run the world. Yeah. The thing is, everybody who wants to run the world, everybody who wants to be the president, they're all fucking crazy. They've all done weird shit. They're fucking crazy. And then they get into a position where they have ultimate power, and they're putting fucking masks on, and fucking each other. I mean, that's skull and bone stuff. It's crazy stuff to me. Yeah.

[1:59:34] and they wife swap. It's very strange. People lose their fucking minds with any kind of power. And you've got the kind of power where you're literally running the government. You're literally running the whole government. I still wouldn't want to do bad stuff. I guess my brain's too simple. You don't want to run the government. I know, but I think to myself, it's crazy that there's this much shit on all these powerful people. It's crazy. It's not crazy, though, because you think, what is their pursuit? It's this very bizarre pursuit. [2:00:04] because either they really are for the people and they really want to make the world a better place. Then you're not going to get anything on them because then they're Bernie Sanders. [2:00:11] You got nothing. Yeah, they just – You got nothing. He might not be effective, but you don't have anything on him. That's it. He's not going to compromise. He doesn't have to. You got nothing on him. Or you got someone who wants to be a leader for some strange reason, and they're really not that extraordinary, but they're in a really shallow pool of talent. Right. Because that's the real truth about running for president or running for governor or running for mayor is it's a fucking shallow pool of talent. [2:00:41] Right. Why would I want that job? Why would I want people to fucking shoot at me? Why would I want half the country to fucking hate me no matter what I do? Why would I want to get in and find out that this intertwined web of fucking money and power and influence is no way to fix it? And I'm going to sit here for four years being a bad guy in a stupid White House. Like, fuck that.

[2:01:11] people. [2:01:12] And some of these kooky people will do a better job than other kooky people, but only kooky people want the job. [2:01:18] And until that changes and until not just kooky people want the job, non-kooky people want the job being president, but non-kooky people involved in Congress and the Senate and everything, regular, rational people that can have real conversations and not try to diminish whoever you're talking to in the most reductionist way possible, make them out to be a moron because they're on the other side. [2:01:48] doing it at the behest of these massive corporations that have been donating to you. So you have to bullshit your way and gaslight people, and you can't be honest about your real opinions. That's the real fucking problem with that whole system. It is absolutely contaminated by both money and the promise of money in the future if you play ball. That's where it gets real weird. They leave government jobs and start working for pharmaceutical drug companies that they were regulating just 16 months ago. [2:02:18] It's crazy. It's like X or like Twitter. Nobody's on there to go. [2:02:25] Oh, I'm going to try and find some people's ideas. It's all like debate culture. You could put the most simple thing, and you have 700 people who just want to go, but I'll go. The goal is to debate and argue and get into win and dunk on your opponent and make someone say, there's not like nobody, like you said in the beginning, is like nobody's trying to just go, I think I really want to make...

[2:02:47] It fair. No one's saying that. No. What's even more fun is Blue Sky. You ever go to Blue Sky? Mm-mm. [2:02:54] If you make an account, even in your name, you say Jeff Dye, I bet you'll be banned. Really? I bet you'll be banned within 20 minutes. Yes. Yeah, you're problematic. You're a toxic white male. What is blue sky? You're a heterosexual. You're a cisgender male. That's... Which is what? [2:03:09] We already had male. We don't need to add that. I'm not doing it. I thought I got to choose my pronouns. Why did they get to put cis on me? Cis on me. But if you go there, I saw this one conversation where someone said, they were talking about something saying, I'm trying to be zen about it. [2:03:25] And then the next person said, try not to be racist against Asian people. [2:03:30] From Zane? Is that the matter? Yeah, that's insane. I mean, that's crazy. It's whack-a-mole. Yeah. They're just sitting there ready to whack. They're just ready for someone to pop up with any micro... [2:03:42] aggressions, any diversions from the narrative. It's so exhausting. I've never heard of this. It's like a liberal kind of Facebook or something. Most people bailed on it. A lot of people like Stephen King said, I'm going over to Blue Sky. They all decided to go over to Blue Sky because Trump let them say whatever they want on Twitter and they just didn't like the reality of the world. And so they're like, this is bullshit. I'm leaving. And they all come back. They all come back to Twitter because X is more fun. Exactly. It's nuts, but it's [2:04:12] just calling you racist for everything you do. I do think that's the current problem with the world. I know that's very vague, but...

[2:04:19] People just want to win the talk. Nobody wants to have the talk. Right. So it's more about like, well, here's what you haven't thought about this. It's like, why are you talking at anyone like that? Like, hear them out. [2:04:31] And then they also have the – give them the luxury of being wrong. It's okay to be wrong. I'm wrong all the time. But the only way I can be right is if I say the wrong thing and I learn. That's right. We should be having conversations, not arguments. But the thing is now you attach that to politics and you literally have to win the arguments. [2:04:52] Because that's what the whole game is. The whole game is like get up in front of all those people and state your claim and diminish the claim of your opponent. I hate that. It's stupid. Yeah. But they have to do it because they have to get elected because if they don't get elected, then they don't have power. And once they get into power, then they have to use that power for their constituents and for the people that help them get into power. Yeah. So there's a bunch of fucking needs of these. And there's a bill you want to put this in the bill because it's going to help the oil sector. Right. [2:05:22] And so, of course, you're going to put a mask on and go fuck a guy. You're crazy. You're doing a crazy job. You're doing ecstasy. You're hanging out with all these people that are running the world. Of course, you're sucking dick with a VHS camera somewhere. That's why I'm walking around town with a leather mask being walked by my boyfriend. They can't take it anymore. They're living an insane life where they're producing no value. So there's nothing they're doing where...

[2:05:50] Unless they're real. Like that's what I think about Bernie Sanders. Love him or hate him. That's a real guy. And he has real beliefs. And he's been steadfast about these real beliefs from the beginning of his career. There's a photo of him that we showed on the podcast of him getting arrested at a civil rights protest in the 1960s, I think it was. [2:06:11] He's always been that guy. That's who he is. Which is great. Yeah. That's who we need. [2:06:15] If you're not that... [2:06:17] then what are you doing? [2:06:19] You're trying to just get ahead. You're trying to win. You're trying to gaslight the best. You're trying to make your way through this weird game where you could be a senator or you could be a governor. And then maybe you could be the president. You have eyes on the throne. First thing I'm going to do is take that tacky fucking gold leaf off the wall. Trump put gold leaf everywhere. He likes gold. What's wrong with gold? It looks better. It's about his home decor. It's the White House. There was people complaining he made the White House look tacky. It looks beautiful. [2:06:49] Yeah. Well, also, who cares? You don't live there. I don't give a shit. Well, they just don't want him doing that. They don't want him, like, carting up. Didn't he do it with his own money and stuff? I mean, they've always done that. Yeah. And Taft put a fucking, he invented the hot tub on accident because he was like, that tub won't fit me. I'm too fat. Oh, really? Yeah. And then they forever, like, people will go, oh, it didn't Taft even that big fat guy got stuck in a tub. And it's not true. He was just a big guy, made a funny joke. And for now, like, now all these young people are like, oh, yeah, Taft, the big fat guy that got stuck in a tub. It's not true. [2:07:19] made a...

[2:07:20] He just made a... [2:07:21] A modification to the White House. And it basically invented a hot tub. People are also upset that he's making a ballroom. You see he's making this giant ballroom. [2:07:29] It's all right. It doesn't bother me. And he found out you're allowed to. Yeah. And then he goes, what's the deal with permits? They're like, you don't have to get any permits. You're the president. You can just build it. [2:07:41] He's like, amazing. As a real estate guy, he's like, that's fucking great. Right, for a guy like that, it's like... [2:07:46] You just gave him the coolest fucking present ever. He can make a beautiful, beautiful ballroom. And people are so mad. And they were saying that it was a waste of taxpayer money. But it turns out it's not. It's all donations. I think you can look this up. But I think Obama spent like $350 million of taxpayer money making modifications to the White House. I think that's true, too. And like, did you? No one cared. And I don't care about that either. I'm not using that as a what about. I'm saying I also don't care that Obama did it. I don't give a shit. [2:08:13] Can I get a receipt? Right. $350 million? What did you do? [2:08:17] Like what costs $350 million to a house that's already standing? Can you imagine if you're a construction guy? [2:08:24] It gave you a bill like that? Like, I just want to fix it up nice, let's do all this, and then send me a bill. And you get a bill that's $350 million. You're like, hey. Hey, I need to talk to the foreman here. Here's the thing about the White House. Yeah. [2:08:36] It's not that big. Right. [2:08:38] It's not that big, dude. [2:08:40] There's some pretty beautiful houses for 1.5. That's a whole house. A whole house. Yeah. $350 million is so much money. Did you make another house underneath the house? Yeah, what happened? How did that happen? Is there a tunnel to a giant arena that's under the ground? Maybe the guy gets 500 grand an hour to do the construction or something, because I don't understand how. Because he's doing it at the White House. He needs to get paid more. It's like weddings. You know, they're like, I'd like to buy a cake. And they go, sure, $40. And he goes, for my wedding, $5,000.

[2:09:10] They just changed the price. You would? I needed a bunch of flowers. You gave me a great rate. But then the second it's for a wedding, those flowers are now like this crazy price. Maybe that's what it is. White House prices. Yeah. Because they know it's taxpayer money. But $350 million seems like real excessive. I'd like to know what they did. [2:09:26] Didn't one of the – was it Nixon or somebody made like a bowling alley in there? Nice. Yeah. That's a cool thing to be able to put in there. That's what presidents do. Is that what they do? Like you're allowed to just – you're going to be there for four years. Put a bowling alley in. I think you get to – I don't know if that's true, but somebody put a bowling alley in over a pool or something I read. But also I didn't care. I just go, sure. If I was president, I'd probably make some adjustments. Did you see he took Biden's photo down and put a picture of the auto pin up? Oh, I did see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know if it was real. [2:09:56] It might not be real. Let's find out if it is real. I think it is real, though. [2:10:00] I think that's what I heard. Obama's era project covered renovations. Trump knocked down a whole win. 376 million. [2:10:08] Okay. [2:10:09] $376 million cost to improve the East and West Wing's infrastructure. [2:10:14] Peck described the project as largely underground utility work. [2:10:20] It doesn't do a whole lot of good to have a building that's sort of an image of the free world standing up there and not functioning well, Peck told CNN when questioned about the cost. Bloomberg News reported in 2010 the Obama renovation was the biggest White House upgrade since President Harry Truman was in office. 48 to 52, Truman oversaw the White House historic gutting, renovation and expansion in response to significant structural issues that at one point resulted in the leg of his daughter piano breaking through the floor.

[2:10:48] Trump's project will be the first major exterior change of the White House in 83 years, historic preservationists say. [2:10:55] You know, I read that and I just said, oh my God, because the leg of his daughter. And then it's the leg of his daughter's piano. I read it too. I was like, oh no. Just the piano broke. Yeah, that was very deceptive the way they typed that. Just the piano leg. Yeah. I thought it was his daughter's leg. Piano leg through the floor. [2:11:11] One of the piano legs went through the – not the daughter. The daughter's leg is fine. Why are you bringing her up? Get her out of here. You're freaking me out. She's not in this story. I thought a kid broke her leg. I was panicking. It's just a fucking stupid piano. But that building is not that big. So I guess that makes more sense, though. They had to do crazy underground infrastructure shit that probably – I would wonder what's under the heating, cooling, and fire alarm systems that hadn't been updated since 1902 or 1934. Still, I'd like to see a receipt. [2:11:41] I'm feeling ripped off if that's my house. I used to always say I don't think that any president ever is at the White House. Or they go to the White House, but they don't live there. Yeah, they do. [2:11:50] You think that they live there? They do. They have a residency. Well... [2:11:54] I think there's like a tunnel to a different place. There's another building. They live in that building. Because why would you want to put the most powerful person in America in the most famous address in America? Why are you giving people ideas? Well, it's the secret service. You know, we keep them secret. Don't give them ideas. It is weird because you know where he sleeps all the time. Right. That's crazy. You have more security in anonymity than...

[2:12:18] Knowing where someone powerful is, that's crazy. No matter how much security you have, the secret is the best part of it. That's why secret service is good. You want a secret address. You want a secret home. You want to move them around. Yeah. Don't have them in the same spot every night. I think the White House has called it the most famous address in America. They say it's the most famous address. It is the most famous. So why would you put someone so powerful in the most famous? [2:12:48] keeping the president in a place that everyone knows about. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. [2:12:54] But they do. [2:12:55] I don't know. [2:12:57] Hopefully no one's listening to this and you gave him an idea. I hope not either. Violence is bad. That's the point. Do you remember back in the Obama administration when that crazy person broke into the White House? Yeah, got pretty far. [2:13:09] Didn't you have a bit about it? Yeah, I had a bit about it. Yeah, he had a bit about it. There was a lady guarding the door without a gun. Yeah, like, what are we doing? Dick, that is crazy. That's so crazy. Your bit might have given someone some ideas. Like, I could get pretty far. Bro, that guy got all the way in. If it wasn't for an off-duty Secret Service guy who saw that guy running through the fucking White House and he tackled him, he just happened to be there. He wasn't even on duty. What did they think? Just like, well, no one's going to break it. Yeah, like, who would do that? We're fine. We're fine. That's crazy. We're fine. Yeah, it's so crazy. [2:13:40] People that have never been around crazy people, they don't know why lobotomies were done in the first place. That's true. Back then, people were like, enough of Mike. Right. We got to slow Mike down. Let's crack. Or you see like you work at like a homeless place and you go, oh, I kind of get it.

[2:13:56] Right. Yeah, you go – yeah, you kind of go, oh, these people. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, some of them. They've done so much stuff and drugs and traumas and all that. And you just kind of go – I could see how in the olden times they would go, these people are broken. Let's – you know. Especially if they're not medicated. Yeah. Like there's out and out like hardcore mental illness involved in most of the homelessness. A large percentage of it at least. Yeah, which is a controversial statement. Yeah. But it's 100 percent true. [2:14:26] The drug addiction, drug addiction, self-medicating, you know, it's a lot of trauma, a lot of things, a lot of factors. [2:14:34] The answer to that isn't just let them camp. Right. Let them be in front of your house, whacking off, shouting bomb threats. Like that's not – ignoring it isn't the solution. Yeah. Not talking about it is not the solution. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think lobotomy is the way to go, but I don't – [2:14:49] I don't know. I just meant like in the 30s they would see that and go, you know, let's put this guy in a room. Well, in the 30s, I've had people – there was a bunch of people that were in shanty towns in New York City back during the Depression. Oh, yeah. The Depression was so bad that New York City had like these little – [2:15:06] handmade houses that people had built. You ever seen any of that stuff? See if you can find shanty towns from New York City from the Great Depression. Yeah, man, it must have been so dangerous. I mean, it's basically homeless encampments in the middle of Central Park and... [2:15:23] There's no jobs, man. There's no jobs and there's no fucking food. During the Depression.

[2:15:27] Oh, yeah. [2:15:29] Isn't that crazy, man? Imagine living out there, how dangerous that would be. That's downtown Denver right there. And that's all because of the motherfucking bankers. [2:15:37] That's all because of the bankers. They crashed the stock market. [2:15:41] Thank you. [2:15:42] That's crazy. I was just hearing something really crazy where someone was making a connection. [2:15:49] Between Rockefeller and alcohol being during prohibition. [2:15:57] that one of the competing fuel sources back then was ethanol. [2:16:02] I don't even know if this is true. [2:16:04] But that... [2:16:06] You know, Rockefeller had control of oil and they were using oil to make pharmaceutical drugs. So like most of the drugs that people buy, the reason why they started doing it that way is because Rockefeller, because he had control of the oil. And this was saying that he wanted to stop people from using ethanol. So he wanted – he thought the best way to do that was to make it so that no one could have – [2:16:30] the ability to produce alcohol. [2:16:33] And the best way to do that is to make a prohibition about alcohol. Really? It sounds crazy. It says it's a myth. Let's see why they say it's a myth. John D. Rockefeller is often blamed for using prohibition to eliminate ethanol as a competing fuel source to gasoline from his standard oil business. But this is a myth. Rockefeller supported the temperance movement primarily for religious and social reasons.

[2:17:03] prohibition for religious and social reasons, believing alcohol consumption was harmful and aiming for a more productive workforce. So this is the problem. This is not quotes. This is like someone saying why this guy supported banning alcohol and not. Yes, he did work to ban alcohol. And yes, he did benefit from it because ethanol was taken out. That's that is true. So ethanol as a fuel was not banned, it's saying. [2:17:29] explicitly allowing even promoted the use of high proof alcohol for scientific research, fuel or other lawful industries during prohibition. Ethanol as a fuel was not banned. In fact, some industrialists, including Rockefeller, dabbled in ethanol fuel production. Henry Ford also pursued ethanol fuel development during this time. OK, so I take back what I said. So it's not that it was banned. [2:17:54] So that doesn't make any sense then. It would make sense... [2:18:00] If somehow or another... [2:18:02] If you were using ethanol, though, the thing is – [2:18:07] Like if you stop people from making their own alcohol, if you make it illegal to make your own alcohol, you definitely can't make your own fuel. [2:18:14] And then you can't use ethanol because you can actually make ethanol with corn. Hmm. [2:18:19] That's how they make it. [2:18:20] So I could see how you would say if you wanted to sell more gasoline, you would make it so people can't make their own fermentation and you can't make your own alcohol. [2:18:30] And one of the best ways to stop people from making their own alcohol would be the prohibition of alcohol.

[2:18:36] You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like it doesn't seem that clean to me. That looks like a little squirrely. Like he supported a prohibition of alcohol because of morals, but yet he was like really involved in a lot of shady shit that seemed like he was very control oriented. Those religious beliefs were sidelined. Yeah, man. Also, he had a part in the structuring of the education system to make people good little factory workers. Yeah. [2:19:06] world really works and then brainwash them, get them in there and make good workers out of them. He was a big part of that as well. That guy had a lot of power. Yeah, he'd have been an interesting guy in politics. So it's not true that ethanol, that they prohibited it, but it is true that they kind of eliminated people making their own alcohol. [2:19:27] And if you're not – if people aren't like making engines from ethanol because most people are using gasoline at the time, it seems like – [2:19:35] They don't have the materials. [2:19:38] It would be a good way to stop people from making their own gas, and then you'll sell more gas. [2:19:42] I tried to buy something recently because I had like a chest cough. And they're like, you should get this shit. And then I went to the Rite Aid or whatever it was. And they're like, oh, that's behind the counter. So I go up and ask her for it. She needs my ID. She beeps my ID. And I go, why? She goes, oh, because enough of this. You can make meth. And I go, really? She goes, yeah. So we have to like make sure that the person, like that it's kind of documented who bought it and how much. Like Sudafed, right? Yeah, I think that, yeah, something like that. And then I was like, oh, shit. And I need 700 of these.

[2:20:12] No, that's how guys were making meth. They got to regulate all that kind of stuff. Can you imagine how bad that meth was? You get some assholes that go to the grocery store and just clean up the pharmaceutical aisle. That's the sad part about addiction, man. You'll see these homeless guys drinking mouthwash. You're like, how bad has it got that you're just chugging Listerine in an alley to get drunk? [2:20:38] I mean, I guarantee it's a good buzz. [2:20:42] Like, and your breath's great. Imagine a Listerine buzz. [2:20:44] Ugh. [2:20:46] Imagine a Listerine buzz. I mean, sometimes I have tequila. I don't drink anymore, but sometimes I would have tequila, and that felt like mouthwash. You have like a shitty, cheap tequila, and you go, I shouldn't. Do you know a large percentage of tequila apparently is fake? It's not made with agave. Really? Yeah, there was a big scandal. [2:21:04] See if we can find anything on that. But it still got people drunk. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think the scandal was that people were saying that it was like real tequila, like legit tequila made from agave. Yeah. But it wasn't. Yeah, it was just a... It was like fucking some shitty alcohol. Yeah. Some nonsense. They go, it counts. It's tequila. I know, but I mean, I guess scammers probably thought, like, if they were scammers... [2:21:25] So who knows who's doing it along the way? Maybe it's the manufacturer. Maybe it's the original person. Who knows? [2:21:31] They didn't think someone was going to check? Yeah, it's kind of strange. I think about all those kind of things. I remember they were doing this big campaign. They're like, McDonald's uses real beef now. I'm like, what were they using? Like, what do you mean? Like, if the tequila company would now market, like, no, this is now real tequila. You'd be like, what were we drinking? This is a proposed class action lawsuit filed in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of New York.

[2:22:01] and the United States, even though they carry that distinction on their labels. So what are these brands? [2:22:07] Click on that link where it says those brands are. [2:22:09] Oh, Casamigos and Don Julio. Top shelf. Significant amounts of non-agave alcohol despite being labeled as 100% agave. Customers named the suit claim that they purchased the products under the assumption that the tequilas were made exclusively from Blue Weber agave and paid prices reflective of that premium designation. Okay. [2:22:32] somebody was cutting the product son yeah that's how it goes and no one's paying history repeating itself over and over and over and those are big ones those are like i didn't expect it to be something i've heard of [2:22:43] But here's the question. [2:22:45] Who did it? [2:22:46] Right. [2:22:46] You've got to follow that web to go, okay, where did that money come from? Is it that guy? Is it a manufacturer? Is it someone who's in the plant? Are they skimping? Are they ripping them off? Who did it? Who did it? I mean, if you're an asshole and you're running the distillery and you're like, fuck those Don Julio people. We have to. And you're like, I know how to make it better. I can make more money. And then he skims. We're going to need $100,000. It only costs $40,000. [2:23:16] greedy. Yep. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? It's probably a tangled web of scumbags that were using the company to make money. When I first worked at Giggles Comedy Club, the owner, like, [2:23:28] We didn't really have a green room. We were just kind of in the back where all the soda tubes are going from the boxes of syrup and all the bottles of alcohol are back there. And...

[2:23:37] He had one bottle of every kind of top-shelf liquor, but he would just pour... [2:23:42] shitty liquor in there like with funnels like totally against the law just like funneling like the cheapest tequila you could get in like the finest tequila bottle and then when people would people would constantly bring it back like this tastes wrong he goes you saw me pour it from the bottle and they're like yeah i guess i don't know like what but i watched him do that so many times [2:24:02] That's hilarious. Yeah, because he could charge this crazy amount, and he'd just get the shittiest, cheapest tequila from Costco or wherever the heck. That's so gross. I know. That's so gross. How many people do that all over the world? [2:24:15] There's a lot of that going on. There was a great documentary about that. It's called Sour Grapes, and it's all about these wine guys that got duped [2:24:23] They were buying this wine. It was like Thomas Jefferson's wine. Some dude was making it. Some dude in Century City was like making the labels old. Yeah, putting over the bottles. Putting dirt on them and shit. Yeah, he was totally doing that. And he was mixing a bunch of cheap wine to try to come up with this flavor. People are so weird. Like, it's always this... [2:24:42] Was it a big wine guy? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, dude, this is how he fucked up. He ripped off the Koch brothers. Mm-hmm. [2:24:50] Too big. Yeah. And they bought some old ass Thomas Jefferson wine and it wasn't real. And then they also had some magnums from a company that never made magnums during that era. And this actual wine guy saw their cellar and said, "What is this?" And he says, "That's a this and that." He goes, "No, no, no. They don't do that. This is not from that. This is fake." And he was like, "What?"

[2:25:16] They have a lot of resources, obviously. So they're like... [2:25:19] release the house and then they you know they caught him they get enough evidence that they can raid this guy's house and so when they raid this guy's house they find like a whole manufacturing thing he's got dirt and water he's rubbing it on the labels he's like making the labels old and shit hilarious he's reusing old labels from wine that he had bought somewhere else and re-corking it and sealing it oh it's total scumbag [2:25:42] And he sold millions of dollars worth of like figazi wine to all these dorks that are like – [2:25:48] These dorks. Yeah, and they're all... I spent this much on this. It has an essence of tannin. There's a woody aftertaste, almost chocolate. Ah, a taste of chocolate. I wish who caught him was a sommelier. Someone who was actually like, no, this tastes like shit. I'd be like, oh, it's real. There is one sommelier in that documentary that these other guys were sniffing it, going, this is the real stuff. And the other guy gets it, he goes, no, this is crap. What is this shit? I love that. [2:26:18] Which is like a huge insult to the other fellows. And they don't want to say they got duped. No, no, no. This is the best. The best grapes during the best year. I have it. I have the grape juice. Can't you taste the hint of Costco? You don't taste the box on this wine? You don't taste Trader Joe's? That's hilarious. What a weird thing. It's a weird thing, man. But it's a fascinating documentary because it shows you what that thing really is.

[2:26:48] where they get real nerdy about a flavor that's not that good. Right. It's not that good. But you want the finest, so you believe. Even the best wine is nearly as good as Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid is far superior to the best wine ever. Yeah, but it's not exclusive. It's Kool-Aid. It's such a weird thing that some of it is so expensive and so revered that they have auctions for it. The autograph world is full of a bunch of bull crap like that. [2:27:18] athletes autographs and stuff i'm friends with the the guys at icon autograph in san diego or whatever and they're great guys but like i'll send them a photo of a thing and be like this is selling at this like you know it you know hotel lobbies they have those you know when you walk in it'll be like a photo of taylor swift framed and it's just like cut her autograph on it it's selling for like five thousand dollars or whatever and i sent him a thing because i the item was so unique that i was like this is pretty special it was a baseball autograph by joe dimaggio and maryland [2:27:48] to have both those names on the baseball. I was like, there's no way. This is at a silent auction right now for like $1,000. I sent it to my autograph guy, and he goes, dude, there's like one of those in the world, and it sold at auction for like millions or whatever. So this guy, just somebody, like the guy you're describing, putting dirt on the, thought he could pull one over, and probably did. I mean, I didn't go whistleblow or anything, but like. He definitely did. Someone just wrote Joe DiMaggio on a baseball in Marilyn Monroe

[2:28:18] case and you know some schmuck has that right now in his living room telling everybody about this bali boy committed suicide a week after the story of a viral over the summer oh my god he admits a counterfeiting over 350 million dollars in gear after police raid warehouses and [2:28:33] And then he'd kill himself. The dealer says the scheme grew to be an addiction. Wow. What did he... All sorts of fake autographs. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Certified stuff. Biggest names in sports. All sorts of bullshit. So, of course, there's a lot of that. Oh, dude. Tons of it. Yeah. Yeah. [2:28:49] People repacking things. Of course. [2:28:51] You're always going to have that. That's wild. [2:28:53] Yeah. It's just what – I guess people's risk-reward is fascinating to me too. Like you know about the Chauncey Billups thing? What's that? He was the head coach. He's a Hall of Fame basketball player. Oh, this is the NBA thing. Yeah. Hall of Famer. The money scam. And then he's the coach of the Portland Trailblazers. So you have money coming in. You're not desperate. And then you're going to risk your entire reputation. You're going to risk your entire – you know. [2:29:20] bank account by [2:29:23] Doing gambling and doing all this like dumb shit. I'm like, why would like at that point you think no more risks like like you're pretty good. Why? Why do corruption? Why have like all this like gambling nonsense? It makes no sense to me. I get it if my friend does it who's broke and is like, dude, I had to like pull some bullshit. You know, times are tough. This guy's the head coach for the Portland Trailblazers. What are you doing? I think people get addicted to just pulling things off. That's what that one was saying is that this guy said he was like, yeah, that's why. Well, people are nuts, man.

[2:29:53] Gambling addiction is a weird one, man. And I think some of those guys, maybe they get a bunch of losses and then they want to get it back by rigging a game. [2:30:00] You know what I mean? But they want to make it so they definitely are going to win, and they feel funny. It's like fun to get over. Yeah. Like you rigged a game. Tricked them. Yeah. Yeah. [2:30:10] Yeah, there's two baseball players for the Cleveland Indians right now. They're bringing up video where he – [2:30:14] accidentally struck people out and he's pissed. He's going to strike guys like, fuck! These two players, they'll never play. He's supposed to throw balls. Yeah, for $5,000 a pitch, which is kind of chump change to guys who make $30 million a year. That's good money for me, but that's not good money for these guys. And they're supposed to throw a ball at a certain time or walk a player. They were doing these different things, and they caught them. These guys. So the prop bets thing is the weird one, right? [2:30:44] draft kings and all these things are such a big part of sports now. Right, because you're just going to have organized criminals that get involved in that and exploit it. There's a UFC problem right now. Oh, really? Yeah, a UFC fight. So this is the story. A lot of – the UFC has an organization. I don't know what organization they use. Maybe you could find out, Jamie. Yeah. [2:31:03] that monitors unusual betting activity in any fight. So the moment there's any unusual betting activity, they contact the UFC. The UFC contacts this fighter. [2:31:14] It's just, hey, you're the favorite to win this fight. There's a lot of unusual betting activity on you to lose. Like, are you okay? Is everything fine? Are you injured? No. No, I'm fine. I'm going to kill this fucking guy. Okay, has anybody contacted you about...

[2:31:27] This fight? No. So he goes out. [2:31:30] Loses in the first round. Gets submitted. Rear naked choke. Doesn't look good. Immediately, the UFC says, we called the FBI. So now... [2:31:39] Apparently, there's an investigation of many fights. Right. And there's a web, it seems like, of people that have contacted fighters and said, I will give you X amount of dollars if you lose this fight. Yeah. And a bunch of people said no to it and publicly talked about how they said no to it. You know, good, really good fighters and even went on to lose the fight. [2:32:03] Unfortunately, and didn't get the money. [2:32:07] We're open about it. Right. So it's like Patchy Mix, he was Bellator champion, came over to the UFC, and he said that someone – I think he said somebody offered him – [2:32:18] $70,000 or something like that to lose a fight. Something crazy. I might be wrong if it was him that said that number. It might have been someone else. So they're offering dudes like a big pile of cash. [2:32:30] to lose to a fighter that they might lose to him anyway. Right. It's probably a tight matchup anyway, but if you definitely lose, so what do you do? You don't fight as hard. You make mistakes. You do something stupid. You let them take your back. Right. You get choked out. [2:32:46] And if you're good at defense, you might be able to, as long as you're getting submitted, you're probably not going to get hurt that bad. And you'll be able to make an extra $70,000 when you might be getting $10,000 to fight. [2:32:56] Right? So now all of a sudden you got 80 grand. I don't agree with it, obviously. I think it's fucking terrible. And it's...

[2:33:05] Are you allowed to bet on yourself to win? Is that a thing? [2:33:08] Well, I know fighters have in the past, but I think the UFC fighters right now are not capable of betting. [2:33:17] on the UFC. I think it's not just the fighters, but the commentators, the coaches, referees, everybody. No one's supposed to be betting on the UFC because there was another betting scandal. And so the other betting scandal was this guy who is a active MMA fighter and a really good coach [2:33:36] He got accused of using this Discord server, and they were running like a gambling Discord server. A bunch of money came in on this dude to lose in the first round. He went out there, and he lost in the first round. The word was that he was hurt and that it had been expressed to these people, bet against him because he's going to lose in the first round. A lot of people made money. This guy gets investigated. The UFC bans him. [2:34:01] I don't know what the status of his case is, but they also banned the fighters from [2:34:07] that we're training out of that gym. [2:34:10] I think – I don't know if this guy – see if this guy who just got in trouble – [2:34:15] If he was connected to that gym. [2:34:19] The gym is James Krause's gym. [2:34:23] Yeah, because I would be like, fine, if they want to bet to win, you're like, I love that. Right, I love that too. The thing is... Easy to trace. When you were talking about like prop bets and stuff like that, losing the first round, you could just definitely lose in the first round and everybody makes $100,000. You know what I mean? Like some people are going to take that. Right. Especially if a guy is like pretty good, but...

[2:34:46] But realistically, he's not going to be a world champion. Maybe you're 32. Maybe you've got a lot of fucking – Maybe you're Mike Tyson fighting Jake Paul. You might have alimony you have to pay off. You might have child support you have to pay off. You're in debt, and that's why you're fighting in the first place. Someone comes along, and you're out of the hole now. You're going to get $100,000 to throw, and they're just going to bet a ton of loot on you. Right. And they're going to hope nobody notices. But I guess now people are noticing it. And you can kind of see if someone's not fighting back. [2:35:16] this fight. [2:35:17] I got to see it, obviously, when I knew the controversy. I didn't see it live. [2:35:23] So I didn't have fresh eyes. I didn't see it live and go, God, why is that guy fighting off the choke so badly? There's a bunch of NBA guys. Some Instagram account is really good. He found it. Excuse me. No, no, just dry throat. Have a sip of water. I got nothing. Why do you sip the water? Yes, he was previously coached by James Cross. Say that again, James. He was previously coached by James Cross. Okay. [2:35:46] So this guy who allegedly through this fight was also coached by this guy who was involved in the betting scandal. [2:35:55] That's why computers are good. It's a tangled web. Those kind of little things where you can find that like, oh, this is – like computers help in that way for sure. That's a tangled web. If you're involved with people that are making money gambling and not on the square.

[2:36:16] title back. I'm going to put my money where my mouth is. I'm putting too large. Too large on Poetard. Let's go. That's totally fine. And fun. Yeah. But when it gets to... [2:36:27] you [2:36:28] have a prelim fighter and he's only making 10 grand and someone offers them you're going to get choked in the first round and he's like okay i got it i got it i got it and the opponent probably doesn't even know right this guy has to figure out a way to give this guy's back right oh that's kind of funny he's like leading him yeah you have to give it to him you have to give it to him [2:36:48] Pete, there's been fights like that. There's been fixed fights for sure. Oh, for sure. Has to be. Especially in boxing. [2:36:55] Oh, it's weird. Because those boxers, their lives are so tough. I mean... [2:37:00] Well, they've always done that throughout history. Guys have taken dives. [2:37:04] Especially if you weren't connected enough. If you were a guy that wasn't with a big-time manager, who had a big-time lawyer, and probably mob ties. Mob ties, yeah. They all had mob ties. You had to have mob ties. I'm going to lose a fight if the whole mob's going to kill my wife or something. You don't think Rocky Marciano had mob ties? For sure. If you're the heavyweight champion of the world and you're Italian, all the mobsters want to be your friends. And you're a boxer. They love that. You're flatlining everybody. It's funny to find out how many of these old guys didn't even like the sports. They just liked all the money part of it. [2:37:34] Well, Marciano talked about it like that. Like, it was just my job. Yeah. But that guy was the freakiest training person I've ever heard of in boxing. Like, the freakiest training regiment. It was crazy. Like, part of what made Marciano so good was that he never got tired because he had this insane work ethic. And he lost one fight when he was younger.

[2:37:57] I think in the amateurs because he got tired. He decided after that fight he was never going to lose a fight ever because he got tired. So he just put himself through this fucking insane routine where he would get up in the morning before any training. He would run 10 miles. He would do his training. He would hit the heavy bag for hours. Then he would swim miles in the lake after training. He would spar 100 rounds a week. He would just get to the point where – you know we're talking about redlining? Yeah, that's it. And he did the same thing. He redlined to the point where he couldn't do it anymore, and then he retired undefeated. [2:38:27] But does that red line, that kind of thing that he was doing, you can't do forever. And I watched this video about it the other day. I'm like, this is bananas. Just to watch that guy's work ethic. [2:38:37] And back when nobody had anything, you have no creatine. There's no vitamins. You know what I think about when you say the redlining thing? [2:38:45] And maybe it's just because I'm... [2:38:47] influenced by his like the videos he posts and the things he does but every time i know michael chandler and like every time like i see this guy like he's like oh you're in arizona like swing by the gym and he's like throwing the thing again like he's just always it's like in this like he's i'm going to shoot a tv show tomorrow but i gotta work out it like he's always so tremendous discipline full on yeah like i've never seen him going i'm taking a month off or we're going to

[2:39:17] I think he's 38 now, right? How old is Michael Chandler? [2:39:20] I believe he's 38. But that's why he's so elite. He's never gotten out of shape. 39. 39. Because that guy, people don't even know about the wars that he got in with Eddie Alvarez – [2:39:32] When they were at Bellator, some of the greatest fights in MMA history went unseen by a giant chunk of MMA fans because they didn't pay attention to Bellator. But the Eddie Alvarez, Michael Chandler fights in Bellator were nuts. Really? I mean nuts. Play a clip of it. I mean nuts. Like from the opening bell, two mad fucking roosters just attacking each other. [2:40:02] It's so wild. Were those Bellator guys redlining because they just wanted to get to UFC? Like they're still climbing the ladder, they're still in the hunt? Well, these guys just redlined their entire career. Eddie Alvarez went on to become a UFC lightweight champion when he beat Rafael dos Anjos. Huge upset. Eddie Alvarez is a fucking beast. [2:40:20] But these two guys from the opening of the first fucking seconds of the fight. Look, this is the beginning of the fight. Chandler's just throwing himself at him, just sprinting at him, drops him, bro, drops him again. Look at this. Crazy. Alvarez survived somehow. And he fires back, bro. These fights are nuts. The fights I think they had. I know they definitely had two. I don't think they had three. But in the two fights that they had together were fucking insane.

[2:40:50] entire pace of the fight was fought like this. He's awesome, dude. And they're really evenly matched. [2:40:56] It was a really good matchup. Navarro looks a little bigger than him. [2:41:00] Well, Chandler's a fucking tank, dude. Dude, Chandler's the best. And he's got crazy wrestler power from the legs. So when he leaps at you, like when he knocked out Dan Hooker, he lunges at you like he's shooting a double and throws a left hook at the same time. [2:41:15] He knocked out Dan Hooker in his UFC debut, who's a really respectable MMA fighter, a very good fighter, but he just got caught. [2:41:23] Find that one, Jamie. Find Michael Chandler KOs Dan Hooker because this was his UFC debut. And again, Dan Hooker is like an elite fighter, which is one of the reasons why it was so impressive. And the fight starts out and Chandler does the same fucking this is his first fight in the UFC, the same shit he did in Bellator. He just charges forward. I love it. [2:41:45] I mean, this is how he always fights. It's do or die. [2:41:49] That's why this guy's lost a ton of times, but he's still a huge fan favorite. [2:41:53] It's because you know you're going to see this. I mean, he's just throwing bombs. Fun to watch, yeah, for sure. Bombs. Oh, big game. [2:42:01] He's just so dangerous, man. [2:42:03] Because everything is 100%. [2:42:06] that low cap kick three or four times. [2:42:08] hasn't really landed at selling yet. Dan's landed. I want her. [2:42:12] Oh, that one hurt. That was just one, too. [2:42:15] Here it comes. And look at the immediate... Oh! Big knockout for Michael Chandler! Big right hand, Dan's hurt. Oh, my God. It's over! Bro, that's a wrap, bro. And then he does a backflip off the top of the cage.

[2:42:33] Bro, that's a freak. Dude. Freak athlete. I met him – so I was doing a prank show for MTV called Money from Strangers, which was kind of like Impractical Jokers but way darker. Like we were like a lot edgier. It was before Money – before Impractical Jokers. And so they'd always send me to like MTV Movie Awards or any kind of those things. And I was like, I don't know. I live in New York. They're going to send a car. I get to go on a red carpet, whatever. I'll drink. I'll make it fun. [2:43:03] the red carpet line and the way the red carpet works is no one cares about us at all they're just waiting to get like miley cyrus or beyonce or whoever the hell it is so like we're basically the photos they're taking are just something we're gonna save off the internet because no one gives a shit they were like all bellator guys so people at this movie awards don't necessarily care these guys are behind me and they're like this guy's fun because i'm making all these jokes and like goofing around and i was already kind of like buzzed up and so then that michael chandler and [2:43:33] Brog the Predator, you know who he is? No. He was a Bellator guy too, a Cleveland guy. Okay. Big guy, he's awesome too. But anyways, these three guys. And they were like, this is kind of dumb. And I was like, yeah, this shit's kind of gay. I don't want to be here. And then they were like, let's just go drink. And so we just drank and met people and hung out. And they're like, want to get Subway? And we got in a car and got and got Subway and just hung out with these dudes all night. And I've been pals with them ever since. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. But it's like, like, [2:43:58] I didn't really know what they did. I just kind of knew that they were like fighter guys. And so I thought they were in UFC at that time, and they weren't. They were in whatever was on that network. Well, Bellator was paying really well, and Bellator had a pretty good following for a while. I mean, it was doing really well. There were some real elite fighters out of Bellator, and a lot of guys, like they came over to the UFC because they became famous in Bellator. Like Ben Askren, he came over from Bellator.

[2:44:28] but there's a lot of guys that never came over. [2:44:31] You know, unfortunately, like Douglas Lima, Douglas Lima at one point in time was one of the best welterweights alive. And, you know, he was the Bellator champion. He's like the only guy that's ever knocked out Michael Venom page. Do they have like an MMA Hall of Fame? [2:44:46] Yeah. [2:44:47] Yes, there's a UFC Hall of Fame. And I think there's an MMA one, too, maybe. MMA Awards. I don't know. Because that sucks. There's a UFC Hall of Fame, though. Yeah. But that's UFC, guys. I know. Yeah, it sucks. I know. [2:44:58] Um... [2:44:59] Some guys, they wait too long in these other organizations, unfortunately. And the reality of the sport is... [2:45:06] There's a bunch of different [2:45:08] organizations you can compete for. And I think if the PFL is paying you more money, go to the PFL. Do whatever you want to do. But if you really want to be the world champion, you have to be the UFC champion. That's just how it is right now. It's like Major League Baseball. It's like in boxing. If you're the undisputed champion, you have all belts, then you're Terrence Crawford. But if you're like a WBA champion and there's also a WBC champion and an IBF champion, that shit's too confusing to the average person. [2:45:38] For good or for bad, I'm just saying. [2:45:42] That's just how most people think of it. That's how I probably annoyed them that night. Because I was like, oh, you guys are UFC guys? And they're like, we're Bellator. Yeah, you don't go looking for cotton swabs. You go buy Q-tips. You look for Q-tips. That's what it is. You're not just watching pro football. You're watching the fucking NFL. Absolutely. And if you're so bored, you're watching the XFL. You start Canadian Football League. You start going, I've got to go to the gun range or something. I've got to clear my head. Yeah, what would happen to me? I've got to do something different.

[2:46:08] But I feel like that's just for better or for worse. This is how it is. [2:46:13] That's how it is in America. We don't have a lot of attention span. And if it's going to be elite fighting, it's got to be – there's like one organization that we follow. Sorry. Yeah. [2:46:21] I follow them all. I follow everything. I try to pay as much attention to Muay Thai as I do to boxing as I do to wrestling and jujitsu tournaments. I try to pay attention to everything. [2:46:31] Just because I want to know who's coming up, who's good, what's new, what different things are people trying that they've never done before. Did you see Holly Holm did wrestling? Bro, she's a fucking athlete. She's the best. That lady's an athlete. After her fights, Mike Winklejohn used to stand on his hands and do a backflip after all of her fights. That's amazing. See if you can find that. It's crazy. She would win and then he would do this backflip. She was just at a place to watch wrestling and then there was something she could sign up for and she's like, fuck it, I'll do it. [2:47:01] And they were like, really? Because she's famous. So they were like, we'll let you be part of it. She goes, sure. And she was just like, the second they said her name, everyone cheered. It was not like a huge grandiose plan. There was no contract. There was no anything. She just did it. It was like this year. She texted me about it. I go, what? Did they go crazy? And she's like, no. I mean, it was just fun. It was a fun thing. I thought, why not? Yeah, that's the thing. Well, show that again. Watch this. She's the best. Watch how they do this. [2:47:27] Yeah. So cool. That was the thing they would do after all our fights. She had fucking back muscles, son. [2:47:35] That's crazy. Yeah, what she said, she said the guy, like her manager, whoever she asked about it briefly was like, he was like, well, what if you get hurt? And her...

[2:47:44] this is great she goes yeah but what if i win and i was like what a great response and he's like fuck it let her do it and so she did it and i was like that is the coolest thing that's why what a mentality multi-sport martial arts champion she's the best she's a champion in kickboxing you know she had champion in boxing women's boxing and mma she did the full trifecta yeah she's the kind of crazy and she's a really nice lady too that's what i like about her yeah she's cool i don't know a lot [2:48:14] I know Michael Chandler and Holly Holm that Holly Holm fight with Ronda Rousey was nuts that was in Australia it was a huge crowd like a massive arena man [2:48:23] And when she landed that head kick and you realize that Ronda was out and that she's hammer fisting her. Yeah. It was like when Mike Tyson got beat. Remember when Mike Tyson – you were too young. But when I was a kid – Buster Douglas. When Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson, I saw it. I heard about it. I didn't watch it. I saw a tape of it and I still thought he was going to get up. You knew the outcome. I was like, he gets up. He doesn't lose. There's no way. There's no way. [2:48:50] Now, I remember that for sure because Mike Tyson was larger than life. Larger than life. And he was so, like... [2:48:56] one of those celebrities that, like, you knew everything he was doing. Stars shined really brightly back then. There was, like, Michael Jackson. You knew Michael Jordan. You knew Michael Jackson. You knew... [2:49:05] And they would go out. Yeah. They would go to places and people would... Big deal. Yeah. Mike Tyson... I remember being in the kingdom watching a baseball game. It was the same night. I was a little boy. And they put on the screen that Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear. And the whole stadium reacted.

[2:49:22] They didn't interrupt a baseball game, but they put it up there because the news was so large. Like, it was a very big deal. Bro, you bit them twice. Yeah. [2:49:30] That was crazy. I watched the first fight today. I watched the first Evander Holyfield. Why'd you watch it today? I just felt like watching it. I love that. I do that. When I'm in the gym, I'll pick an old fight. I'll put it on. I put on that fight. I was like, wow, that was a crazy fight. I can't work out unless David Goggins is calling me a pussy in my headset. That's all I listen to. You don't know me, son. Dude, it's the best. Every time I'm working, I was at Equinox this morning. I had David Goggins in my thing just going, you're a piece of shit. [2:50:00] You can do better, Jeff. You can be bigger. [2:50:03] Goggins is the best. That's what I listen to. Those kind of like YouTube things where they compile, you know, it's like just all motivation stuff with music over it. You don't seem like a guy who needs motivation. Do you just do it for fun? I like it. Yeah. And it keeps me in the mindset. I always channel all of it back to like stand up comedy, you know, because like I'm working towards something. I'm in the hunt. I'm climbing. And so like they could be talking about a battle and war. And I'm still like, yep, that's what I'm what's next. I'm going to. Yeah, I'm climbing. You know, I'm still hungry. [2:50:32] Yeah, that's a fun time. It's a fun thing to do. Yeah. The fact that you get to do it. [2:50:37] When also, like, otherwise I'd just sleep till noon or sleep till one, you know, but like, if I have that, I'm like, no, I got to get up and write or I got to get up and, you know. Here's the question. You're doing this, obviously, and you're doing this for the love of the thing. And you said that if you didn't need money and you didn't even get paid money, you would still do it. And I think the same way. I would do it, too.

[2:50:58] But what do you think about the idea of universal basic income? Because this is something that is being discussed with automation and with AI. [2:51:06] And we were having a conversation about it the other day with Elon, and he was saying – [2:51:10] that he thinks that AI can generate so much productivity that you could have universal high income. [2:51:18] And then I went, wait, okay. Am I... [2:51:21] Are we married to this idea that everything that you do in life, you have to be doing just for money? [2:51:28] Because that's what it is now. If you're a professional, you're doing it for money. If you're a professional podcaster, if you're a race car driver, you're doing it for money, right? Why are we married to that? And if you didn't need money and no one needed money, would you just find a thing you love to do? And would we be able to rewire our brains and still have some feeling of value and of identity without being attached to an occupation, right? [2:51:57] Like, isn't it possible? [2:52:00] that we've just tricked ourselves into thinking that the only way to live – [2:52:04] is to live in a way where everything you're doing you're doing is for money [2:52:09] And then – [2:52:11] If it's just everybody does their best at things and enough money is generated so that basically everybody has, like what he was saying, a universal high income. [2:52:21] What does that mean? Like, is that a feasible thing? Like, what is AI going to do with production? What is AI going to do with automation, resource extraction? How much money is going to be generated that you're going to be able to literally have the entire population of the country under universal high income? Is that even possible? And if it is –

[2:52:39] What happens to people's desire? What happens to their dreams? Do they just find a thing like you and I have? [2:52:46] And do that and not care about money and really be into the thing. Can't that be taught? If it's taught to you, if you figured it out and I figured it out, if people have figured it out, they figured out, like, find a thing you love and you're never going to work again because you're going to love doing it. Whether it's building cars or painting or carpentry. If you really fucking love doing it, you do it because you love it. Right. Wouldn't that be a better way to live? I know. I know. You can't do it. I know. [2:53:14] No, no, no. It wouldn't work. There's too much money. [2:53:16] Stock market, I get it. I get it. It wouldn't work. But as a thought... [2:53:20] experiment [2:53:21] Wouldn't that be a way that's possible for people to live if it's possible for you to live that way, if it's possible for me to live that way, if it's possible to find enough people that are willing to do and love to do all the things that we need to keep a society running? I think the point of life, in my opinion, is meaning. So you associate society. [2:53:44] whatever [2:53:46] That means to you. Right. So like a lot of people find meaning in being a mom or a dad. Right. It gives them enough that they have that meaning or they have they have a hammer to hold on to like that. Like they need that meaning. Right. I need comedy. Like that's why when my brain broke during covid is because I didn't have comedy. I didn't have an outlet. How long did you go without doing any comedy? I mean, realistically, I only went a few days because I was doing like zooms and I was doing like underground things for rich guys.

[2:54:16] Me and Brad Williams were the first comics to go work in a comedy club with the new COVID restrictions. Because they knew if they called me or Brad, we'd say yes. Keith Stubbs called me from Salt Lake and goes, we're thinking about doing a show with all the restrictions and just see if the government shuts us down. Would you be willing to come? And I was like, yes. I didn't even talk about price. I just go, yes, because I need it. Now, why do I need it? [2:54:41] Because that's where I personally find my meaning. Now... [2:54:45] If I maybe was at home and going, man, I'm getting a lot more time with my kids and I'm getting a lot more time with my wife and like things are pretty productive around here. [2:54:54] that's where I would have put my meaning. It's just where we put it. It's where we kind of put it. And I think so a lot of people... [2:55:03] Find a lot of value in their jobs that make them the money, but that gives them something to do. Don't you think? Yes, I do think that. But what you're saying about finding meaning and having a family or finding meaning – [2:55:19] Yes, for sure. But also, I think the human mind needs activities. I don't think it's just... [2:55:28] raising children only, I think you should probably have things that you love to do as well, just for your own sanity. [2:55:36] But if you – [2:55:38] didn't have to worry about money, you'd still be involved in this pursuit of stand-up comedy because you love it. All the stuff that people do just for money, like the guy who does the fucking septic tanks, that guy's not having a good time. He's smelling other people's shit all day. He's pumping out other people's shit all day. That can't be fun, right? But we need him. Right, we need him until the robots come, and then you don't need him anymore.

[2:55:58] So this is the point. Like what does that guy do to find some sort of meaning? He's probably not finding meaning in – [2:56:04] pulling shit out of people's ground he's probably would like to do something different yeah yeah i mean i don't know i mean i'm so naive that i'm like no that guy should be proud of himself like like i'm really i look at plumbers like heroes like i'm like dude the guy that like fixed the electrical in my house i'm like i love you dude like whatever i can pay you bro i had a septic problem at my house once when one of my houses in california when i first moved there and it was so [2:56:34] Those are linked? Yeah. Well, what it was was the septic system. There was a pump. I was living on a hill, and the pump – [2:56:42] would pump it up the hill, the poop water, and then the pump broke. And so they ought to get in there and get the pump out in the poop water and put a new... And that guy's my hero. Like that guy, we need that guy. That's a Bud Light commercial. Real American heroes. That's why I like cops. I like what you were saying earlier, but the military, the nurses, like... [2:57:03] They're going to send a robot to fix your poop pump. A robot's going to do it. A robot's going to do it, and it's going to do it perfectly with AI, and you're not going to need a person to get covered in shit water. Okay. And that guy's going to get a lot of money just to sit at home. [2:57:15] But then what does he do? Right. That's the thing. Yeah. Because I think a lot of it's going to happen really quickly. Yeah. [2:57:22] This is something that Andrew Yang was – [2:57:24] talking about years ago. And it was sort of, I agree with him, but it was a little abstract then.

[2:57:32] Was that 2020? [2:57:34] When Andrew Yang was running for president? [2:57:36] I've never heard of Andrew Yang. You don't know? What's that? 26. [2:57:40] Was it 2016? I think so. It might have been 2016. You never heard of Andrew yet? Mm-mm. Brilliant guy. [2:57:46] And had a very good... [2:57:48] 2020. He had a brilliant... Yeah, I didn't think it was that long ago. [2:57:54] A great point about automation and that one day automation is going to remove a lot of jobs, including – [2:58:02] drivers, right? You're seeing it with these Wevos. So that's the first sounds. That's the first shot fired across the bow of a crazy war where the robots are going to take all our jobs. Because that... [2:58:18] is now you have these Tesla trucks that are automated and they can, you know, like my car, uh, [2:58:25] My Tesla, I just press a button. It does all the driving. It does everything. I don't have to do shit. I can literally just sit there with my hands on the wheel and barely pay attention if I wanted to. I don't do it. I never do it either. I have it and I don't do it. [2:58:36] Yeah, it's nuts. So that's going to be the future. And there's going to be no driving jobs. And okay. And then what about everything else? Well, everything else, manufacturing, it's out the window. Robots are going to do it 24 hours a day. They're going to be more efficient. No unions, no health care, no need for nothing. They're never going to fuck up. Everything's going to be categorized. They have sets, these mining operations in China where everything's automated. There's no people working at all. The trucks are driving. They're getting recharged.

[2:59:06] They're fucking picking up the coal. They're moving the coal. They're bringing it somewhere else. It's all automated. It's bananas, man. So that's just a massive erasing of jobs. They're just going to go away. Well, the dot-com did that. Yeah, but I think this is way bigger, dude. I think this is way bigger. I think this happens, and first everybody's like, oh, this sucks. And then it's like, oh, my God, it's not stopping. It's not stopping. It's taking over everything. It's going to be all jobs. [2:59:36] no more accountants, no more coders. All that stuff's going to be done with AI. [2:59:43] It's going to get so weird if you're going to college right now because you could be going to college for something that's absolutely obsolete in three years. Sure. Sure. [2:59:50] Yeah, well, but so... [2:59:53] I get that problem. [2:59:55] But someone's introducing an idea that they just give money to people for free so they don't – because of this? Well, here's the thing. If that becomes something that controls everything, which is really ultimately what it's probably going to do. [3:00:09] controls all of our power grid, all of our waste management resources, everything. It's going to control everything. [3:00:17] it's going to generate insane amounts of wealth. [3:00:21] But the question is, like, how does it even get distributed? That's the part that I don't – How does that work? [3:00:25] Who's got the money? [3:00:27] If you're just giving people money and then they – now everyone is a trust fund kid in a way. They don't do anything. They just sit around and eat. And what do you get people involved with to occupy their time?

[3:00:41] encourage them to join religious groups? Do you get them to be involved in games? Do we try to give people meaning? Yeah, we are we all just gonna sit around and wait for the robots to just take over and we're gonna be the last Civilization of real people hundred years from nothing to be like I think I want to do what the robots do People like what you know in the old times, you know people would actually have to do and then that maybe there'd be like a movement of that You know dude the terminator was accurate. I [3:01:09] Yeah. Oddly accurate. [3:01:11] Remember the first time you saw that movie? Yeah. This will never happen. [3:01:16] I'll tell you a funny story about that Terminator. [3:01:18] I was on mushrooms with my buddy Randy. And he forgot that he – he had a long-distance girlfriend. He forgot that he was going to call her. So we just ate – [3:01:28] you know, four grams of mushrooms. Like a big, like we just crushed them, right? It was COVID, you know? And we had nowhere to be is the point. So we just, we're going full journey, you know? We're going to do a bunch. And we eat them, we're sitting there. And then he, he goes, all right, I forgot I was going to call Rachel. And I'm like, all right. But it starts to kick in a little bit. He left Terminator on. And then his gay roommate is like on a first date in the kitchen. So there's two like cute guys like flirting with each other.

[3:01:58] in the apartment and i'm just sitting there watching terminator and like he can't be killed you know terminator is like the bullets are just going through him and the metal just kind of starts forming again and i'm just sitting i don't know if i was there for 20 minutes i don't know if i was there for seven hours and i'm just freaking the fuck out going god damn he can't kill these terminators and these gay guys keep looking at me and i don't know what randy's doing i thought he just abandoned me forever i had like i can't even watch terminator the same anymore luckily he came [3:02:28] to the roof and i was like thank god you're here i went up there and talked about it all but like i was freaking the fuck how long was he on the phone for don't know i'm gonna guess 15 20 minutes but it seemed forever oh it seems so long and i'm just sitting there overthinking everything and then also the terminator like just seemed like so pointless i'm like why you can't kill it just just surrender you know you can't shoot through this thing well didn't it come back eventually and become a good guy in the later movies i don't know which version of the terminator i was watching [3:02:58] How many have there been? [3:02:59] I don't know. [3:03:00] How many? A lot. What's more? It wasn't the first one. Fast and the Furiouses or Terminators? [3:03:05] Fast and the Furiouses. Fast and the Furiouses didn't also become a TV show, I don't think, yet. I just saw the new Predator and it fucking rules. Terminator became a TV show? Yeah. When? [3:03:14] Uh, let's see. [3:03:16] No. Yeah. [3:03:18] Really? Did you know that? The Sarah Connor Chronicles. [3:03:21] No, I haven't seen the new Predator. Dude, it rules. When was this? It was an eight-year-old. [3:03:25] 2008? Yep. [3:03:27] Huh. [3:03:27] I didn't watch it. That looks ridiculous. I don't think anybody watched it. That was the thing. They went down the rabbit hole with Terminator. There's probably like six movies now. I think I was watching like T2 or T3. Terminator, Terminator 2, Terminator 3, Terminator Salvation. There's all these six of them. You know the last ones that are just trying to wring that towel out and get a couple more drops of blood? You ever seen the Leprechaun movies? Yes. Dude, after a while they're just like, Leprechaun goes to space? Leprechaun in the hood?

[3:03:57] put the leprechaun in some setting. It's funny that that one caught [3:04:02] You know, like some things catch and they become like cult classics. The Leprechaun movies were cult classics. Very good. Yeah. And the Troll movie. You ever see the Troll movie? I saw Troll 2, which is like the worst film that's ever been made. Have you seen that? Which one's that? There was no Troll 1. They just made Troll 2. It's so bad, it's phenomenal. Like, it's absolutely the best watch. If you watch Troll 2, you'll watch the first scene or whatever, and you'll go, oh, he's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. And then the next person will come in the scene, you go, oh, no, she's the worst actor. [3:04:32] just keeps going. Everyone is worse than the next person. So bad. I think they remade Troll 2 and it's coming out on Netflix. You're kidding. I just googled Troll 2 and there's a trailer for a [3:04:43] movie coming out the summer. They made a documentary about it called Best Worst Movie. Oh no. Oh, you're kidding. No, this is different. These are pretty awesome. He's got a big dick. I don't know what the fuck it came from. Did that troll have a big dick? What is that? Is his tail or something? He's got a tail. It is weird that he doesn't have a dick, though. [3:05:00] was like... [3:05:01] Why does he conveniently have animal skins over his dick? 1990 was when the other one came out. If you're that gross, I would imagine you would be totally comfortable being naked. Just who cares? You're not modest. Why are you going to cover your giant dick, your giant bulletproof dick? Show it off while you kill people. Yeah, swinging while you're stomping on people. The last thing to do is see that helmet dropping down. That's why you lost your house. Look at the size of my cock. Yeah, this is ridiculous. Why would he be vain or why would he be modest? [3:05:27] that

[3:05:29] You know what's supposed to be really good, looks really good? Is that new Frankenstein on Netflix. Oh, yeah, the Guillermo del Toro. Yeah. I haven't seen that. But you don't like the Predator movies? No. [3:05:38] They're good. Oh. I liked the Prey one. Pretty good? That was a good one. Yeah. Fun. You know, the Comanche one. A lot of Indians dying in that, you know? Yeah, it was kind of crazy. That one felt weird. This one... [3:05:50] I don't want to spoil anything. But they definitely stray from the rules of being a predator. But it's so good. [3:05:58] Really? It's really good? It's really good. Yeah, I loved it. Oh, it's the one where... Is she a robot? She's a robot, which also makes it more realistic that she's so, like... [3:06:07] able to do everything. Anytime I'd start to feel sexist, like, oh my gosh, they did this, like, girl power thing. You're like, no, she's just a robot they made look like a woman. So it's not like you have to feel like it's not... [3:06:20] You know, whatever. [3:06:21] So this is predators getting fucked up here? [3:06:23] So it's based off this one runt predator who's on – that's why he looks kind of weird and shitty. All right, don't spoil it. No, that's the – is that what it is? Yeah, I didn't spoil anything. But he's like a little runt. Oh. And so that's why he's out to prove himself, like because he's smaller than all of them. He's missing a fang. He looks a little weird. But that's because he's supposed to look weird. [3:06:44] Because a lot of people are like, this Predator looks stupid. Damn, 85% on Rotten Tomatoes? Dude, it's so good. That's interesting. 93% like this movie. No shit. I loved it, dude. I like when they can do that with a movie. You know, you think, oh, what is this going to be? Right. You flip it on its head. That's how I felt.

[3:07:00] And every time there would be a thing where I'd start to criticize it, I'd be like, this feels like Mortal Kombat. And then in my mind, I'd go, Jeff, you love Mortal Kombat. And I was like, all right. And then the next part, I'd be like, this is kind of Star Wars. I'm like, but I love Star Wars. So I kept coaching myself. [3:07:14] good. Yeah, you kind of just enjoy things. That's what I tell people when I play AI music for them. [3:07:19] Like, just enjoy it. Forget about the fact the robots are taking over. This is great music. This is a pattern of every famous person I know. What did you say, Jamie? Great is tough. Which one's tough? Great. Great is a weird word for it. It's amazing. How about that? It's very good. That What Up Gangsta is amazing. You know it is. I've gone to those rabbit holes, too, watching... [3:07:39] Cover songs, though, like my favorite cover song and finding different bands doing good versions of it. The real. Listen, the real bands are better for sure because it's a real band. So it's a real person. But I love listening to A.I. music. I know there's one going viral. I haven't even heard of this. It's not officially number one. It's like a weird designation, but there's a song that's number one on the country. [3:08:02] digital sales chart by a completely ai band well djs djs kind of did that too many listeners a month djs were kind of like the first version of that like they're putting in their robot and then like making the songs and sampling and stuff so this is just i mean it's not that far deviating this is way deviating this is you could change the kind of song like you could have it like a little charlie crockett a little elvis presley you could mix it they're like they're essentially drawing from all

[3:08:32] So all the best sounds that anybody's ever sung. It has to be good. It's amazing. It's so good. It has to be. The way you just described it. It has all the music. We'll wrap this up, Jeff, and we'll wrap this up and I'll play you a little What Up Gangsta. [3:08:46] We don't need the audience at home to hear this, but you need to hear this. We don't have to edit out it anyway. So many successful people I know are really like big music heads. [3:08:56] Music is a drug, man. It's a marvelous drug that inspires you, makes you feel better, makes you move around. [3:09:02] At Mothership, you guys are always playing good music up in that green room. And I'm always like, what is this? Like every single time I think I'm in that green room, I'm always going, what's this one? Tony's got a bunch. Well, everybody contributes. Everybody, when they find a cool song, will bring it into the green room. And then we'll add it to the – we've got the playlist on Spotify. It's like 34 hours or something now. Yeah, it's crazy because you just keep adding cool songs. That's perfect. Jeff Dye. [3:09:25] Anything, website, Instagram, Twitter? I just launched a podcast. Oh. It's called Die Hard. I like it. Pretty good, yeah. D-Y-E. D-Y-E Hard. Okay. Once a week, comes out every week. You can watch it on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's on everything. I like the name. Yeah. At first, I didn't. Because of you, I made it for everyone. I had it behind a thing on a Patreon, and I'm like, nah, don't do that. I'm growing. Yeah, it just won't grow. That's the problem. [3:09:55] some money for a complete lack of... Yeah, I'd rather everyone hear it. And then also we'll start doing a thing where it's like once a week we'll do the...

[3:10:05] You know, a face-to-face where I have, like, an interview with somebody that I like and sit down and do, like, a proper podcast. Beautiful. But, yeah, and then jeffdye.com to find all my tour dates. And I'll see you tonight. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. All right. Thanks for having me, brother. All right. Here's the music. [3:10:35] This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Lots of places can accidentally expose you to identity theft. Doctors' offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. [3:11:05] information, credit applications, finances, and more. And if they find anything suspicious, like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, they'll alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Even better, alerts are automatically activated the moment you become a LifeLock member. No extra work on your part. Get the alerts that

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