#2458 - Matt McCusker

[00:00] Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. [00:12] A lot of people have lights on their tables, got a light up their face to make them look more pretty. Really? Yeah, they have like a slight... [00:18] like a like a opening in the table and then a light that [00:23] gets on you so you don't see, like, the shadows in your face so you don't look shitty. I feel like – isn't that what you do, like, a scary story? You put a flashlight under your chin? Yeah, but they're not trying to do that. They're trying to, like, balance it out so you look flat. [00:35] That's crazy, man. You look like what you look like. Yeah, you got to give up after a while. The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures. That's insane. There's comedian men that use filters. Yes. It's very odd. How do you know? How do you tell them? Do you know what they really look like? Yeah, duh. And then you see them and they look like a cartoon. Like Netflix does that with the pictures that they use when they promote your special. Like the picture of you, they'll put that bitch through a filter. That makes sense. [01:05] pretty yeah if people see you after the show you're like you look horrible i didn't know you looked so bad you look so old thanks man i am so old i'm almost 60 dang i know it's crazy i'm 58 i'm 40 just turned 40 that's those are real numbers yeah i know i i age as soon as i had kids i age like immediately you would have thought i literally gave birth yeah well it's like this lack of sleep

[01:35] I've been taking it. Yeah. Creatine, they say 20 grams a day. Start like with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up because the seal might be loose. I've ran this experiment. 20 gets my guts going, man. Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night. [01:56] Because I was doing 20 in a dose, and it was just like, everybody out of the pool. I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you. I swear to God, like not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, it will speed this up. Well, isn't that what... [02:10] Is that consumption? What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea? Dysentery. Dysentery, that's it. [02:16] Shit. All right. Well, if you can't stop having it, sure. Well, that's like you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just shit. [02:23] Yeah, you shit starve. Yeah. That sucks, actually. Yeah. That sucks. Not good. Once a week, though. That's fine. You know what I used to do? I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning. That was the first thing that I would do. I would throw kale and garlic and, like, apples and shit in a blender, and that's what I would drink first thing in the morning. And, boy, that is just like – that clears the pathway. That's like – you know when you clear your rain gutters of leaves? Yeah.

[02:53] Blow them off the top. That's what it's like. I've done the green drink before. I was vegan for like a month, and that was like the biggest dumps. But I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan. Oh, because on the toilet too much? It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out. [03:08] I got hemorrhoids from being vegan. Was it taking too long to poop? No. Or was it just like, it was just spectacular? Massive, right? It was spectacular. There were massive bull liners. It was like twice a day. I was like an adult entertainer. I was like my body just gave out. I was like an adult entertainer. Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't process. But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean. You know? Yeah. Fiber pushes everything out. [03:38] on the fiber train now I was all about protein now I'm like yeah I need I need my fiber now but [03:42] It's hard to know who's right because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber. There's no need for fiber. But then there's like... [03:50] There's evidence that fiber is good for you. Yeah. Isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to make the germs or whatever that are good for your brain? I don't know. I get confused as well. My balance is I eat a lot of kimchi. I really like kimchi. That's a move. I eat that stuff all the time. Kimchi and I eat sauerkraut. That stuff is legit. Yeah. I know that stuff is supposed to be good for you. But yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like – [04:14] The first five days, I felt cool. And then, like, after... [04:18] I think I made it to 17 days. I was like, dude, if I just ate some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest guy in the world. Because it was just like – I stopped pooping. I was like, this can't be good for me. Well, you don't poop much because there's no fiber. So when you do poop, it's just poop. Yeah, I remember. I remember this. It's all rabbit pellets. And you're like, where's the rest? But, I mean, isn't that a good thing? Does it mean your body absorbed all of the food instead of, like, having all this undigestible stuff go through your digestive tract?

[04:48] carnivore people yeah i don't want anybody that's a nutritionist right now pulling their hair out disinformation i'm just asking it's a good it's a solid question because it's like yeah it does food does the meat get stuck in your body and you need plants to push it out of your butt or will meat come out of your butt just like plants will well that was the thing that they would always say that every man when he dies there's a pound of undigested meat in his stomach apparently that's not true yeah that was the old thing about john wayne like john wayne had 50 pounds of beef jerky [05:18] I've been wondering, like, how much are they going to find in me? Yeah, that's true. So it's not the case. No, John Wayne just had a gut from probably beer. Yeah. You know, beer and pasta and bread. True. And, you know, normal American food. Also, he was, I mean, when was, what was his heyday? Like 50s, 60s, or 60s, I guess 60s, 70s maybe? When did he do that Genghis Khan movie? That's what killed him. [05:42] What year was that? The 50s, I think. Come on, 50. [05:45] Yeah, because it's like those dudes weren't on nutrition. True grit. Yeah. Those days, yeah. Dude, they weren't being like, oh, how much fiber have I had today? No. Yeah, that was even in like the 90s. The dude didn't think about what they're eating. 50, 60. [05:57] 56? Wow. That's one of the worst movies of all time. You ever see it? No. It's a Genghis Khan movie? How did it kill him? [06:04] Oh, he filmed it in the same area where Nevada was doing their nuclear tests. Oh. Everybody got cancer. Damn. Like the whole crew, like a giant number of people got cancer. Yeah. And I'm telling you, that was back when guys would be like, nuclear bomb, I don't care about. Like they didn't care. Like I used to work with guys that do asbestos back in like the 90s when I was little. Me and my dad, my uncle's all day construction. So we were like taking this barn down.

[06:27] And I was like a little boy just like hammering nails into an A-frame. [06:30] And they shut it down because there was asbestos in there. And there's this guy who was like, dude, your uncle's a pussy. I'd eat that shit for breakfast. I don't care about asbestos. And it's like... [06:38] I don't know. Now I grew up, I'm like, damn, thank God they shut that down. Well, there were so many things that caused cancer that no one knew about at the time. Yeah. Like, how about baby powder? Yeah, dude, I didn't know about that either. Well, the thing is, I think what the story is, is that where they mine the talc, that the talc is not always pure. And the talc has other stuff mixed in it, and they don't filter that stuff out. Is it asbestos that it's mixed with? I'm checking it. [07:05] I thought that stuff was cornstarch. I'm not into perplexity, please. I thought it was cornstarch. [07:11] What? Baby powder. Baby powder? No. So it's talc. No, it's talc, I believe. Evidence of small but real cancer risk with some talc-based baby powders, mainly due to genital use and possible asbestos contamination. Yeah, that's it. But the data are mixed, and the absolute risk for any one person is low. Talc itself as a mineral can be mined near asbestos, so contamination is the main worry. [07:34] Asbestos is a known cause of mesothelioma and other cancers. Yeah, quite a few women. I think there was a lawsuit. I remember hearing that. I remember I was dismayed because that was like – I had a weird thing when I was younger. I used to use baby powder to masturbate. [07:49] Yo, because it just like makes everything feel so so it's kind of nice in the smell if I smell baby powder to this day It's like a trigger for yeah, I smell it. I'm like goddamn bro. That shit away from me. I used to use it a lot to play pool

[08:02] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everybody used baby powder. You used baby powder on your fingers. It makes the shaft slide through your fingers. But then they invented gloves. [08:09] And so that keeps the table clean. Yeah, yeah. This is like – I guess they're – I don't know what they're made out of. It's like a nylon, like a very thin nylon. So it's not getting caught up. It makes it nice and slick. Yeah. Yeah, but baby powder, no bueno. What else? They're saying LED lights now. That's what I keep hearing. LED. They're saying like it kills your mitochondria. Aren't these LED? [08:28] Are these LED? [08:31] Fuck, do we have to change our lights? Are we dying in here? [08:36] I think they crush your mitochondria. Oh, jeez. I don't know if I just get scared by AI clips on Instagram. Bro, I'm scared of everything. I have to fucking stay offline. I know. I'm reading too much of the news, and it's overwhelming me. Sometimes at nighttime, I can't wind down. Yeah. There's too much news. There's too much fucking madness. We're about to go to war with Iran. I know. Everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza. [09:01] What the fuck is pizza? I know. You know, how far does this go? How come this never got released before? Like, what is happening? [09:08] This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by Paramount+. UFC history is going down at the White House. It's the world's greatest fights on America's biggest stage. Watch UFC Freedom 250 at the White House live today only on Paramount+. [09:27] This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist. And trust me, I know.

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[11:44] I mean, my thing is like, I'm not first of all, the news for me is like, aside from all like the disastrous wars, it's just so like negative when you read the news is mostly people being like, guess who's a giant piece of shit, right? You read that over and over and you get like addicted to being like, yeah, that guy sucks. I'm good. Well, there was an article that I read recently about people being addicted to outrage. [12:03] Yeah, it's a real thing. Oh, for sure. Being addicted to being upset about stuff and addicted to our you go search for it, which is why your algorithm shows you all that shit. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know if this is true, but I feel like they watch your facial expression through your phone camera and feed you stuff if you're making like interested or outraged or whatever. [12:21] I wouldn't be shocked. I've heard they like track your eyeball movement and they're like, okay, this is holding his eyes and they just keep feeding you. Really? I've heard that. She probably put a piece of tape over that bitch. I know. I wonder if you did, how much would change? [12:35] That'd be an interesting experience. Well, they got your mic, too. So they got your audio. That's true. But yeah, they knew that. Yeah. All that Epstein shit is like, I can't follow it. It's too much. It's too many names. I don't know state represented. They're like naming all these people. It's like, damn, I wish I knew who that was. And it's dark, too. It's horrible. And it goes so high. There's so many levels to it. You know, Sagar and Yeti was just on flagrant and they were reading off files and talking about it. And it's just like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. [13:05] just studied all day to like follow it. Prince Andrew's crazy. Him getting arrested. [13:08] He's the first... What other prince has gotten... It must have been like not since 500 years ago. Yeah, when was the last time a prince was arrested? I have no idea. And also, he's... If he goes to jail, if he goes to real jail...

[13:18] He's getting clapped. [13:20] He's a known – it's very, very likely that he was a pedophile. Pedophiles go to jail. Well, what do they know? [13:28] That they're putting him in jail first or they're arresting him first. Like, what did they know? Because they did a bunch of things. Right. The first thing they do is they stripped him of his princehood. Right. Exactly. And then they banished him to some estate somewhere on the country. And then they removed him from the estate. They kicked him out of that. Yeah. So it's been like levels upon levels. [13:48] So what do they know? I think the royal family gets to see the real deal. So they probably saw the real deal and were like, bro, you're fried. You're going to jail. And he might be the first. He might get, like, clapped in jail. Jesus. Someone might get royal... [14:02] Royal asshole? Yeah, he's going to get royal fucking pussy. Don't you think they have him in – did they have protective custody in mainland? For sure. He'll be in protective custody for sure. Do they have that over there? They'll probably make a jail for him. I would imagine they do. [14:13] I think anything we have here, I would imagine they have protective custody. Because if people even think you're a pedophile in jail, they're going to... Do you think that starts like a whole cascade and then a bunch of other people start getting arrested? No, I think they're going to... [14:26] hang him up and be like, we got him. I don't believe that all these billionaires are going to let themselves... [14:33] get arrested. They have billions of dollars. Paris prosecutors opened two new Epstein-linked investigations. Uh-oh. [14:39] With who there is I think it's the John Luke guy who's a co-conspirator? Oh [14:45] Thank you. [14:46] He was also [14:47] He died in custody in general. God damn it, not again. So they reopened the investigation on that. And somebody else, I think, that they just found out that was high up in the –

[14:59] I lost it here. How did he die in jail? I don't... [15:03] Officially? Yeah. [15:06] Um... [15:08] There you go. [15:09] He was found dead. [15:11] - - [15:12] Okay. Just found dead. Oh, he died. How old was he? [15:17] Um... [15:20] at the time. [15:21] Hmm. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah. And also the... 76? Oh, that's about the time dudes like that die. Yeah. But they didn't ever... There's a probe, and I think they... [15:33] they've reopened the probe also. [15:36] Of how he died. [15:37] Yeah. That's going to be a tough one to solve. Yeah. You're going to hit some roadblocks. [15:44] I wouldn't be surprised if somebody whacked him. We were just talking about the guy that Epstein was in jail with, which is crazy. Like, if Epstein is alive, some people think he's alive. Some people think they scooted him out of his cell, switched to body double, killed that guy. But if – [15:57] Why would they put him in jail with that... [16:00] gigantic cop who is a contract killer that fucking guy [16:05] That's one picture? Show me the picture of the tank top picture. That's the one. Whoa. Bro, look at the size of that guy. [16:11] And this guy was a... [16:13] He was a cop who was a dirty cop who was killing drug dealers. Yeah. I mean, maybe that was the plan. Be like, all right, we'll put him in here. It'll sound good if this guy kills him. Like, oh, man. And then 18 days before he died, he complained that his cellmate tried to kill him. [16:28] What? Yeah. See if we can find out. The different guy? No, Epstein did. No, I'm saying they, was he complaining about the murderous cop or is this a different guy? Yes. That's crazy, dude. I do. That's crazy. Also, how did he try to kill him and not kill him? That's what I was just going to say. What the fuck are you talking about? Epstein slipped away and just like sat in the corner. I mean, maybe he screamed loud enough and the guards came. Yeah, but they would separate them. The night Jeffrey Epstein claimed his cellmate tried to kill him.

[16:53] So he laid in a fetal position on the floor of his gel cell, unresponsive with an orange fabric, and others when they found him. [16:59] 18 days before Epstein's death, he wasn't breathing, his eyes were opening. Oh, so this was when they found him. Oh, so they found him in the fetal position? [17:10] Oh, no, this was the Orange Favreau News. [17:13] That's when they found him dead. [17:15] Okay. Okay. [17:16] 18 days before EPS. No, no. [17:18] Okay. [17:19] So it is saying that. [17:20] So it's saying that he had an orange news tied around his neck 18 days before he died. [17:25] What? [17:27] What? What the fuck? What? So July 23rd, 2019, 18 days for Epstein's death. He wasn't breathing, his eyes opening and shutting occasionally, but he wouldn't or couldn't respond to officers' questions and commands, according to a confidential corrections officer's memo obtained by CBS News. [17:45] They hoisted inmate 763-18054 onto a stretcher. [17:51] Officials have repeatedly said Epstein's death... [17:53] eventual death by suicide was foreshadowed by this earlier alleged attempt. [17:59] Former Attorney General Bill Barr reiterated that claim. [18:03] In an August closed-door deposition before the House Oversight Committee, which released the interview transcript last week, Barr, who did not reply to questions from CBS News, said in his testimony he knew about the July 23rd incident, which he viewed as an attempted suicide. Barr said he considered it indicative of Epstein's state of mind.

[18:33] incident reveal a murkier picture than the one depicted by bar the new documents have surfaced amid persistent speculation over epstein's death despite official conclusions that he died by suicide so he's laying the floor and his bunkie is screaming i did nothing i banged on my door to get him out of my cell the source said corruptions officers carried epstein to his cell on a different floor as he remained unresponsive is it was it the same the same cop the the contract killer cop [19:03] been attacked by his cellmate, an ex-cop who was awaiting trial on four murders. [19:09] But they're saying that was an attempted suicide? Well, they tried to frame it as an attempted suicide. No, I would imagine he doesn't have a way to contact the outside world and just tweet about this. Yeah. Right? He can't make an Instagram video. Hey, guys, this guy's trying to fucking kill me. Yeah, true. He sat up on the bed and began telling me that he thinks his bunkie tried to kill him, a responding officer wrote in one memo. A senior officer wrote in a separate incident report that Epstein initially implicated his cellmate in the incident, claiming he had previously said things that made Epstein feel threatened. [19:39] And [19:41] So Nicholas Tartaglione, his cellmate, repeatedly disputed the initial allegation, I did nothing, and said I tried to revive him. As with Epstein's eventual death, any camera footage of the incident was either mislaid, lost, or never captured. [19:59] by the facility's faulty system.

[20:04] Tartaglione has not responded to emailed questions from CBS News. How odd. His lawyer said Epstein's initial claim that Tartaglione tried to kill him was flatly not true. [20:17] Well... Okay. [20:19] So maybe he did try to – I mean, you know, there's a chance he did try to kill himself and was like, shit, I don't want to get – And then his guy saved him. He said he saved him. So it says it right here. Scroll back up a little bit. Tartaglione said in a recent interview that Epstein also left a suicide note and it even offered Tartaglione money to kill him. What? Neither of those details, if true, are referenced in any of the Bureau of Prison Records that were reviewed by CBS News. [20:49] saved his life the first time. [20:51] So it's saying... [20:52] He saved his life. He yelled when the guy, his attorney says this. Yeah, yeah. He's saying he tried to kill himself once. Yeah, but that's just his attorney saying that. Yeah, for sure. [21:03] Epstein claimed to both corrections officers and the source that he felt threatened by Tartaglione... [21:09] hulking retired cop turned drug dealer who was charged and later convicted for four murders. Just how could you take the most high-profile defendant ever and put him in a cage with a murderer? [21:24] hmm. [21:25] His bunkie told him that if he beat him up because of Epstein's child sex trafficking charges, the officers would not report it.

[21:34] Oh, that's what he told them. [21:36] The wealthy – [21:37] Allegedly. The wealthy former financier told jail officers that he believed Tartaglion was trying to extort money from him and stated that if he didn't pay him, that he was going to beat him up. The officer wrote, he stated that this has been going on for a week. [21:51] And then that guy saying Epstein was trying to pay me to kill him for himself. [21:55] You would think they could find a middle ground, man. Well, someone's lying. Yeah, I know. That's the craziest. There's too many plot holes. There's no way. Imagine who's saying, I'll pay you to kill me. [22:06] Yeah. [22:07] Also, it's like, wait, how are we going to do that? How are we going to work this all out? Yeah, but the guy's already – well, that – and then what's he going to do with the money? Yeah. [22:15] Exactly. How's he going to get the money? I guess you can give it if you know somebody you love, you can give it to them. Right. Does he have money or does all of his money go to the victim's families? Like he killed four people. Shit. Yeah, he might be right. Yeah. So it would have to be like an offshore account that like – [22:28] get slipped over to the prison so he could buy cigarettes. If anyone can do it. If anyone can do it, it's Jeffrey Epstein, man. But it would have to be worked out in advance. [22:36] Like you would have to have the cigarettes in the commissary. Yeah. Okay. Time to kill you. [22:40] Dude, it's too – I think it's just one of those things, and I don't know if people can want to wrap their heads around it, but there's just people who do things in this world. [22:48] on behalf of like, you know, Uber billionaires. [22:52] That we're just never going to know what's going on. For sure. They do horrible, terrible secret stuff. And they always have. Yeah, always. This is the thing. If you go throughout history, there's always been secret societies and people that get together with creepy meetings. All that eyes wide shut shit that Qbert put in his film. That's not – he's not imagining that. No. That's always been a thing. The officer that discovered his body dead in August was originally charged with falsified documents related to his death. But those charges were dropped. Hmm.

[23:22] I wonder what the falsifying of the documents was. [23:27] I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe people charged it to try to open up the paperwork or whatever. Here it is. Because Epstein was on suicide watch after the July 23rd incident, Thomas was required to record a log of observations about Epstein in 15 minute increments. [23:42] Those notations were released by the Bureau of Prisons in 2023, along with just one entry he made in the log, a note made at 2.15 a.m., 45 minutes after the incident. [23:52] 15 minutes later at 2.30, Thomas wrote inmates sitting on bed trying to remember what happened. [23:58] Huh. [24:01] Yeah, man. So this is when he got attacked, the first time that he survived. Yeah. [24:06] Huh. [24:07] They claim once he got into the separate cell, he was trying to fall forward on his head or sat on the edge of the bed and began moving forward as if he was attempting to fall overhead first. [24:17] I was told to stop. [24:18] Don't do it again, and he gave a thumbs up. [24:21] That's how they confirm he was trying to commit suicide. So he's going to try to commit suicide by falling straight on his head? That's impossible. That's literally impossible. You might be able to pull it off. That's crazy. You would block, for sure. Right. There's no way you can just do a sailor. I was thinking about this the other day. I was walking off my steps. I was like... [24:39] Even if I tried, I couldn't do a swan dive onto the cement. Your body wouldn't let you do it. Yeah, you would resist just enough to be paralyzed for the rest of your life. Yeah, you would get fucked up for sure. I don't know. I think you would just kind of flatten out and flail. Yeah, because guys die all the time in street fights when they get knocked out. And then they fall and they hit their head on the concrete. Dude, it happened before I left Philly a year or so ago. There was a guy just walking his dog off leash. This guy was like, put your dog on leash.

[25:05] They got into work, you know, they started arguing and a guy punched him and he hit his head and died. And then my brother went on an online date with the... [25:12] fiance of the guy who died and like learned throughout the day like oh shit you're a lady who was married. Oh what a bummer of a date. It was pretty fucking sad actually. [25:21] He like put it together and he's like oh fuck he died that sucks. How long after that was the date? I think it was maybe a year and a half. It's been some time. Not enough to stop the crime. Yeah I mean you got to pick it up at one point. Especially if he died like that man. Got punched on a dog walk and died. [25:38] I don't know. If I was a... You had a dog walk with a helmet in Philly? If I was a lady, I'd be like, oh, fuck, I dodged a bullet. Oh, God. A husband could have just died... [25:46] Yeah, that's scary though, man. The whole thing of altercations and people popping off to each other anymore is just like... [25:54] I was walking down the street recently and I had the right of way. I walked and [25:59] I didn't even, like, rush in front of the car. The car pulled up and was like, get the fuck out. He was, like, threatening to shoot me in the face. I was just like... [26:05] What the hell, man? Yeah, it was like he had pulled off far enough. He's like, I'll shoot you in your fucking face. And I was just like, please don't. Like, you know... [26:12] What the fuck, man? What are you doing? [26:13] Bro, you never know who's unhinged. I know. You never know what's going on in that life, divorce, fucking this, that, just got fired. [26:22] About to go to jail. Who knows? Yeah. Who knows? Dude, yeah. Best friend was fucking your wife. Could be literally anything. Yeah. Anything. I never. It's like, yeah, whatever, man. So many people are barely hanging on out there. [26:35] doing something all day they hate,

[26:37] Yeah. [26:38] Just fucking tired. Life's in a shambles. Dude, and especially like... [26:43] People just talk shit to strangers. Like, you have no idea who that person is. I don't know, you know, who knows if this is just like an old construction worker tale, but my dad was telling me some guy he knows. [26:52] His mom or whatever, or his friend's mom, was at the grocery store. Someone back, they were both going for a parking spot. It was an old lady, and the guy was like, fucking bitch, get the hell out, blah, blah, blah. Started cursing her out. [27:03] Her son came out of jail for like, you know, like he was like a biker, all this stuff. [27:07] And they all, like, knew each other in the neighborhood. Apparently, the guy who had, like, cursed out the mom, they were like, nobody ever saw him again. So if that's true, it's like, gee, I always think about that. I'm like, dude, that's, you know, you just can't be – you shouldn't yell at an old lady anyway, but – [27:19] You just have no idea who you're dealing with. Right. Just might as well chill. That was one of the creepier things about the Epstein emails or the files, the data, was that he ordered 330 gallons of sulfuric acid after he'd been indicted. [27:36] What does that do? Dissolves bodies. Oh, no. Yeah. So they were trying to speculate that maybe that was for his desalination system that he had. He had a water system. Some sulfuric acid cleans it out. But then Jamie looked into it. He had only ordered it once before ever, but never that much. Yeah. Yeah. [28:00] That's terrible. Also, he lives near the ocean. It's like, why don't you just go in the ocean and just... [28:06] You've got to get rid of bodies. You live on an island. You just go out to water. Yeah, but they could find it. I guess so. Yeah, they might find it. Yeah. You can't have that. True. I suppose you have enough there. You need a bunch of acid. Do they have a lot of sharks down there?

[28:18] I would think. [28:19] Yeah. Like the Bahamas, right? It's like Bahamas area. Yeah, I would think so. There's like sharks in Florida. I was just in Florida. Florida's a lot of sharks, especially bull sharks. Yeah, exactly. I was swimming. I brought my friend with me to do shows, and he was like, I'm worried about sharks. There's no fucking sharks out here. We got back, and the Uber driver was like, yeah, this is like shark season right now. I was like, oh, fuck my bad. Shark season? Yeah. I think it's the bull sharks. They see them all the time. Bull sharks are scary. They're the ones that they think are responsible for the murders in New Jersey that inspired Jaws. [28:48] Really? Yeah. [28:50] How big do they get? They don't get as big as like great whites. But the thing about them is they could swim in fresh water. So those murders that – murders. Those deaths by shark in New Jersey in like the early 1900s, they were in a river. [29:07] What? Yeah. Yeah. [29:08] Thank you. [29:09] So these people were swimming in a river and they got killed by sharks. Yeah, you would never expect it either. Bull sharks are like very aggressive too. Are they really? Super aggressive. There's the Florida Keys. Like guys fish off the piers down there. And it's really great fishing. [29:24] But if you catch a big fish and you're struggling to get it on the line, most likely a shark's going to kill it. Really? Yeah, most likely you're going to get it bitten in half. There's like tons of videos of guys pulling in fish and the shark just snaps it in half while they're pulling it in. That's terrifying. They're all over the place down there, dude. [29:41] I went to Turks and Caicos. Me and my family went down there, my kids, we went snorkeling. [29:46] And, you know, the guy takes us out and he's like, hey, we like, you know, got in the area where we're going to jump in. He's like, hey, there's some baby sharks out there.

[29:53] You know, but they're not going to bother you. I'm like, what does that mean? Exactly. And I have like two and a four year old with me. So I jump in. I'm like, let me suss it out. I'm going to go see. [30:03] Dude, I go down and like... [30:05] These were like, you know, they weren't like 18 foot sharks, but they were like five, six. They were like big enough, but they were 40. It was like probably 40 feet deep. [30:14] And then they were like, [30:15] at the bottom, but then another 50 feet away. [30:17] And I was like, bro, I'm not bringing my kids in here. Yeah, I'm trying to find this video that my friend Adam sent me. [30:23] of sharks in Florida. [30:25] because I always give him shit. He lives in Australia, and I always give him shit. Like, bro, you live in a place filled with monsters. What the fuck are you doing? It's true. Florida has a lot, but [30:36] Australia has more. Australia has saltwater crocodiles. They have great whites. But he sent me this video. It's like, "This is in America, mate." And it's these guys are throwing fish into the water right now. I'm not gonna find it. They're throwing fish into the water right next to the shore. [30:59] It's just... [31:00] Sharks like piranhas just smashing and they're like off a dock. They're just like throwing fish scraps in there and the fish, the sharks are apparently used to it. [31:10] I guess. [31:11] That's terrifying. Yeah. Dude, I – Oh, here it is. I found it. [31:15] Nice. Yeah, hold on. I'll send it to you, Jeremy. [31:18] Dude, Dolphin, did you ever see a dolphin in real life? [31:20] Yes. They're scary as hell. Those things are huge. I swam with them. I did it too. I was in Mexico and I thought I was going to be like, you know, gliding on two of them. I was like barely wanting to touch this thing. I did it in Hawaii. You jump off the boat and you snorkel and you get to see them swimming under. It's really wild. Check this out. So this guy throws these scraps in the water. Look at these sharks. Goddamn.

[31:41] Look at these things fight for this. How crazy is that? Look at these things fight for this. Look how many of them there are. Yeah, that's... [31:48] Out! [31:49] Bro, that's crazy. Look how big they are. Yeah, more than big enough to take your legs off. Go ahead, dick wagon. Throw it in. Go ahead, dick wagon. Why? [32:01] I'd be so mad if I was his neighbor. I'd be like, dude, I'm trying to paddleboard, man. Well, I think this is just what they do every day, which is why the sharks are there in the first place. I think when these guys get there, you know, when they fillet the fish, they have the bodies, they just tuck the body overboard and these sharks just destroy it. [32:16] Yeah. How spooky is that? It's terrifying, dude. Yeah. That's Florida. [32:20] That's crazy. Where's Marco Allen? I don't know. Where's Marco Allen? [32:26] It's probably the key somewhere. Probably. That's fucking – that's awful. Florida's filled with monsters. Like that whole thing that they're doing with ICE where they've got that alligator Guantanamo. They built a Guantanamo for detainees, and then they surrounded it with alligator country. Like a cartoon moat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking crazy. Check this out. Okay, so where is it? [32:47] It's like opposite of Miami on the – Oh, okay. Okay, so it's not the Keys. It's just Florida. Florida. [32:54] Crazy. Damn. So they have a classical moat with alligators around it? Well, it's not essentially a moat. It's an island, I guess. How did they do it? Did they build an island down there? Is that what they did? Yeah. [33:05] Somebody got a sweet contract to put that in there. They're calling it Alligator Alcatraz. Halliburton. Yeah, they call it Alligator Alcatraz.

[33:12] What does it look like? Can you show us? [33:15] Damn, dude. Alligators in Florida are everywhere. They say there's not a standing body of water that doesn't have an alligator. I know. My friends are just at Disney World, and they're like, is there alligators around here? Like, yeah, we flush them out all the time. One killed a kid a few years back. I heard about that. Yeah. Reached up and just snagged it. Bro, imagine your little toddler at Disneyland, just saw Cinderella, having a good time. That's got to be fast. That's fast pass for life, though, for the rest of the family. [33:40] So that is all the Everglades. [33:43] And the Everglades is just filled. Like, if you go walking, like, I'm out of here. Fuck that. Like, something's probably going to get you. No. The Everglades are so fucked because it's not just the alligators. It's also the pythons. There's giant pythons. Fuck, dude. AI is so ruthless. I know. That's fucking alligators with ice hats on. Dude, the pythons are another. Because they catch you while you're sleeping. So you lay down to sleep and you just wake up and you're just. [34:13] are anywhere in the world. [34:15] No way. Because there's a half a million of them, they think. Did you ever hear about Snake Island in Brazil? [34:20] No. Dude, there's an island in Brazil that I guess like whatever, you know, tectonic plates or whatever moved. It used to be connected to the mainland. It went out and all the snakes just got stuck on there with no natural predators. Yeah. [34:31] So what do they do? They just eat each other? Yeah, they just fight and eat each other. And there's apparently a snake. Like every meter you move, there's at least one snake. What? Dude, the images are terrifying. They're like just piled on top of each other. There are not more pythons in the Everglades than anywhere else. The Burmese pythons' native range in Southeast Asia from India to Indonesia supports far larger wild populations, though exact numbers are hard to quantify due to their vast habitat. Everglades context, Burmese pythons are invasive species.

[35:01] with estimates ranging from tens of thousands to 300,000 individuals across southern Florida concentrated in Everglades National Park, where their density is notably high. [35:12] Population exploded from a few snakes in the 90s to enveloping much of the region by the 2020s, driven by the release from pet trade and events like Hurricane Andrew. Yeah, they had Hurricane Andrew apparently blew down a facility where they were studying pythons. No, and that's how they got out. And a bunch of them got out. And then there's also people with pets, just assholes in death metal bands. Yeah, they just dropped them. Yeah, they just dropped them. Well, that's how we – there's – what do you want to call it? Parakeets here. They're like an invasive species, and they think that happened too. Someone just let their parakeet out. Sure. [35:42] Now they're a problem here. That's iguanas in Florida, too. You know, they sell canned iguana meat in Florida now. Really? Yeah, a buddy of mine lives in Florida. He just sent me this. [35:51] He sent me – he was at the supermarket, and they have iguana meat. [35:57] Probably not bad. Dude, I'm telling you, the Snake Island, I was like, I thought it was fake. My wife was telling me about it. I'm like, dude, you got tricked. This has to be AI. I looked it up, and it's like. [36:08] It's a real thing. Let me see that iguana meat. Yeah, I'm saying that. It would probably be good. I've eaten gator before. Gator's not bad. This might be fake. I think it is. God damn it. I'm Googling it. There's a pizza restaurant that got in trouble for serving it. [36:20] Really? [36:21] but nothing else is popping up about candy. They got in trouble for serving it? Did they tell people they were serving it? I think so. [36:27] You know because people eat them they hunt them and eat them all the time. I was watching a YouTube video the other day with this guy was making like stir-fried iguana meat and

[36:35] Well, they get massive. They get massive. Yeah. Yeah. And they apparently taste good. [36:39] Probably. [36:40] They're aggressive, too. If you see them in the wild, they'll, like, charge after you. They're nasty, man. They're big. Yeah. Some of them get, like, four or five feet long. Yeah, they're huge. Which is nuts. That was another animal I encountered in Turks and Caicos. We did the shark hunt. [36:52] swimming and I was like, all right, I let them get out of the way. And then we went to this island that was just full of iguanas and they'll just run up on you. This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. [37:22] and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is. Just set the temp, load the grill, and let Traeger handle the rest. Grill steak, smoked ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor, and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills. [37:40] Let's talk about Service Titan. Over 10,000 contractors already run their businesses on Service Titan. Now they're building an AI trained on real trades workflows. This isn't generic AI. This is AI built specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls, helping run your back office, and growing your revenue automatically.

[38:10] AI. The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. Do you know in Florida when it gets really cold, they just fall out of trees? No. That's hilarious. Because sometimes Florida, it'll dip. It'll get into the 30s and these fuckers just fall out of the trees. They stoned. They just freeze and just drop. They freeze and then they thaw out and come back to life. What? Yeah. Fuck. [38:37] That's an ancient species. Like, these are ancient creatures. Damn. So I thought they need the, like, they're cold-blooded and they die. So I guess they can just chill and freeze. Well, so are alligators. And alligators freeze in lakes sometimes with their mouths above the water. [38:51] They have their nose and their eyes above the water, and they're frozen. There's a bunch of images of these guys. [38:58] That's all frozen in lakes. I guess everything just slows down and they just chill. They don't have to eat for a year. [39:04] What? Yeah, they can go without eating for a whole year. [39:07] So how much do you think we really have to eat? If alligators – if bears don't have to eat all winter, alligators can go one year – [39:13] Like, do you think we're, I always think like, do we have to eat every day? [39:16] Well, we definitely eat more than any people have ever had. True. Except like royals. Yeah. You know, that's why people are so tiny. Like you go back to like the Civil War, the average man was like 130 pounds. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, because nobody had any food. You know, nobody had any protein. Yeah. [39:31] But if you... [39:33] think about [39:34] like how much we eat morning, noon, and then evening, hunter-gatherers, they got a meal a day. Yeah. You know, like if you got lucky, you had a meal and you ate as much as you could because there's no way to preserve it. And then you went out the next day and hoped you got another animal. Yeah, that's kind of wild. You must have spent like 6,000 calories a day just trying to get one meal. Yeah. And then other than like drying your meat out, there's no way to preserve it. So they would make jerky or, you know, like I know in Mexico,

[40:04] Some friends of mine went down there and they have this traditional way of taking buffalo and they slice it like really, really thin and then they hang it on like a clothes hanger. [40:14] and dry it out, really. [40:16] That's all we need to do. Well, that's what they had to do. They had to figure out how to dry stuff. Yeah. You know, there's no... Man, how fucking hard life must have been with no refrigeration. Dude, it would suck so bad. Suck so bad, man. [40:29] I mean, that's like when you go back to the turn of the century, all the diseases were happening in America. Just think about it. No running water. Everybody's like... [40:36] shitting in holes in the ground outside the houses. There's no ventilation. There's no air conditioning. [40:43] Oh, yeah. No vitamins. Especially here. How do people live in Texas? Hard people, though. I've been reading. It must have been crazy. Hard people. Yeah. Hard fucking people. I've been reading Western. I'm reading Lonesome Dove right now. It's like an old classic Western. [40:58] And they just talk about how hot they are all day long. It's just dust in their face. And it's like, dude, that shit would suck. Especially if you don't live near a lake so you can cool off a little bit. Oh, no. There's like, yeah, they have like a spring house. And every time they get water, there's just rattlesnakes everywhere near the spring house. It's like, dude, that sucks so bad. There's a great book about Texas called Empire of the Summer Moon. Oh, I've heard of that before. About the settlers encountering the Comanche.

[41:28] ground. [41:29] Like, they had to be the hardest fucking people in the world. Yeah, dude. That would be brutal. Just had to be fucking just tough as fuck. Yeah. Especially when it gets, like, freezing, too. They have, like, that two weeks where it's super cold. Yeah, that would be... Yeah. [41:41] You never know when it's coming back then either. You couldn't prepare. Like Texas, like right now it's 80. Two weeks ago it was 30. Before that it was 20. Before that it was 70. Like it's – you don't know when it's coming. No. You have – I've been here for two years and I know we're going to get like – [41:57] a solid collective week of real winter and the rest of it's just like 50 60 70 80 20 40 yeah it's kind of it's worth it i think it's perfect because it gives you just enough cold so you appreciate the warm just enough yeah but nothing like where you want to kill yourself yeah i agree nothing like there's you know montana winters and wyoming winters where they last like seven months you're like i don't know if i want to do this even regular east coast winter i couldn't handle it by the time [42:27] finally like come out and it's like, [42:29] That messes me up. Like, I'd rather it be super hot and sunny than be cold. Yeah. Because you can just, like, you know. [42:36] Just figure out, jump in a lake, jump in a pool. You can cool. That's what flu season is all about, too. [42:40] What? It's not like the flu emerges in the winter. It's just everybody's immune system is low. No one has any vitamin D. A buddy of mine who was a doctor said that he would do tests on people in New York City. And he said so many people would come into his practice that had undetectable levels of vitamin D. [42:57] What? Yeah, because they weren't supplementing at all, and they were wearing winter clothes, and they were never outside, and everybody's sick, and they don't know why. Well, you're vitamin D depleted. Yeah. That's why in Seattle they have a lot of people go in tanning beds and shit. They try to do something. Oh, just to get people. Because tanning beds will give you a natural dose of vitamin D. That's kind of nice. Yeah. Apparently, isn't it like a hormone more than a vitamin? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's what I heard. It's not even just vitamin A or B. It's something you absolutely need big time.

[43:27] Yeah, a lot of people are saying you should hyperdose it too because the USDA recommended is like 5,000 milligrams. A lot of people are saying like 30,000 is what they take every day. Yeah, I had to do that for a while because I had low vitamin D, and they were like, you can take as much of this as you want. I'm like such a baby with medicine. I'm like super sensitive to it. It did absolutely no side effects at all. No, it doesn't. But for full absorption, I think you're supposed to take it with a bunch of other stuff. [43:57] recommended is I take it with K2 vitamin K2 and magnesium and [44:02] I think there might be one other thing that also helps absorption, right? [44:06] But like Dr. Rhonda Patrick was on a podcast recently and she was talking about how vitamin D – someone was taking vitamin D but they weren't showing any improvement. She's like, where are you taking it with magnesium? So magnesium apparently helps vitamin D get absorbed in your body. Like there's a bunch of those things that like works – like if you take them without any fat or any food, they're not good. But then like amino acids, you have to take them on an empty stomach. It's like you got to know what you're doing. That's true. Yeah, I have like a paste. It's like a goop that's like fatty and I just put it on a spoon. What is it? [44:36] Just vitamin D fatty? Yeah, it's vitamin D. It's like a liposomal thing. Oh, you put it on a spoon? Yeah, I just eyeball it. I'm like, that's probably about right. I wonder if like liposomal absorbs easier. [44:47] Isn't that the whole idea about it? Yeah, it's paired to a fat and it kind of, you know. Right. I wonder if that you don't need as much, like where you don't need vitamin D or K2 rather. Well, I don't know. But I was low and then I'm not now. So I'm like, maybe it worked. Maybe it was a fact I was outside. I don't know. I'm sure it works. Yeah.

[45:06] optimally. That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. [45:08] It's like just taking it alone is definitely going to be better than not taking it at all. But they think that for maximum absorption. What are the things that you should take with vitamin D for – put that in perfectionally? [45:19] The things you take with vitamin D for maximum absorption. [45:26] It's hard to remember all this stuff, too. That's part of the problem. Like, I'll hear it on a podcast. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I know. Go back to, what the fuck did Andrew Huberman say? I know. You know, I remember I heard... [45:40] He probably had this thing about cortisol and he's like, you need to spike your cortisol early in the morning, which I, you know, if I get up and exercise in the morning, like, yeah, that's seems true because I feel good. But then I was like, I can't have caffeine anymore. I had to get off completely. Really? Dude, I have, I can't have it. I'm like super sensitive to it. If I had a cup of coffee, what time is it right now? [45:58] Buy a cup of coffee now at 2 o'clock. [46:00] I would not sleep till midnight. [46:02] Is that because you don't drink much of it? I don't metabolize it. Oh, interesting. That's my mom. My dad can drink coffee and fall asleep, but if my mom has coffee, it just – it like – [46:11] You have it, and I can feel it just in my body for hours. It's just like a nonstop – like I love caffeine, the mental effects. My body just can't stand it. Have you ever tried nootropics, like theanine? I've done it all. Theanine. Acetylcholine. Not acetylcholine, but I've taken L-theanine with it, which helped a little bit, but then I'll just drink more coffee. No, I don't mean with coffee. I mean by itself as like a little bit of a pick-me-up. Oh, yeah. No, I like – yeah, I take L-theanine before I go to sleep. I think it kind of helps me sleep.

[46:41] too, which is interesting because it helps with your memory. How does it help with your memory and also help you go to sleep? I don't know. Here it says, vitamin D is a fat-soluble nutrient, so pairing it with dietary fat maximizes its absorption in the gut. Take vitamin D supplements with a meal containing fats for optimal uptake. Studies show you can boost serum levels by about 50%. Foods like fatty fish, avocados, olive oil, nuts, seeds, or full-fat yogurt provide these fats effectively. Supportive nutrients, magnesium, [47:11] to its active form and transporting it in the body. Vitamin K2 works synergistically to direct calcium to bones, enhancing benefits for bone health. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil also improve absorption alongside fats. All right, so that's it. So vitamin D should take with magnesium and K2 and probably some fish oil. [47:30] Nice. There you go. [47:31] I was eating it after breakfast, though. There we go. I was getting my fats. Yeah. But, yeah, the caffeine for me, I can't, like, you know, everyone's different, but I can't have it. I could drink two double espressos and go to sleep. That's crazy. So here's my thing, too. I stopped. I didn't start really drinking caffeine all the time until I had kids. [47:47] But I don't have dreams at night. If I drink even coffee during the day, no dreams at night. Really? I don't know what it is, man. I'm super, super sensitive to it. Well, a lot of people that stop smoking weed say that they get wild, crazy dreams. That happens, too. That kind of blocks your dreams, too. Yeah. But even that, I don't know. I smoked weed forever. I would still kind of have dreams, but the caffeine just completely neutralizes them.

[48:17] kind of... [48:18] what is it, like discourages or, you know, whatever it does to your brain, you don't do as much divergent thinking. It's more like convergent where, like, if you need to get, like, a task, like, all right, I need to edit something. Caffeine's great. But if you're like, I need to come up with a story idea, there's, like, anecdotal evidence that says, like, people who are on caffeine report that it, like, messes up their ability to, like – [48:36] just kind of like [48:37] you know, come up with like new or novel ideas. That makes sense. Yeah. Because you just hyper focused on the one thing that you're doing. Yeah. Like a low dose meth. Yeah, pretty much. You're like my friends that have dated girls that have had problems with amphetamines. One of the things they say is they know when they're on it because then they start cleaning the house. They start cleaning everything. Yeah. [48:58] Yeah. They start getting hyper-focused on organizing and cleaning. [49:03] I'm like, that sounds like a good drug. Yeah. What's the, what's the, it's probably a spaz though. That's probably the backlash. Well, it's probably they're doing it for 12 hours while they're listening to Slayer. Yeah. [49:14] You're not even talking about Adderall. This is them doing like crystal meth or something. I don't know. He was saying amphetamines. I would assume it's like meth. Yeah. Amphetamine babe would be not ideal. I don't think. Well, I've talked to people that have done meth. They tell you feel like you're fucking Superman, but you also like want to get things done. [49:31] Really? Yeah. That's I've heard that a similar thing about crack where you feel like a genius. You smoke crack. Apparently you're just like, dude, like, why would I have a refrigerator? I can sell it right now and I can order out to end like apparently you're just like. [49:45] The smartest person in your head in the world. Right. And then you just like, it all crashes every 30 minutes. It's like freebase cocaine is all it is. Yeah. Like what Richard Pryor was doing back in the day, that was just before crack. Yeah. It was freebasing cocaine.

[49:59] Yeah, and it's weird, too, because I think it just – [50:01] Coke, I think, just floods your brain. A lot of things just flood your brain with dopamine. Yeah, but the delivery method, apparently, of crack is superior. Really? There's something about smoking it where it just goes right to your head. Well, I know this from Hunter Biden. Yeah. Because Hunter Biden was on that Channel 5 show and he was talking about it. It's fucking – he was so descriptive of it, it almost made you want to try crack. [50:22] It was almost like a romantic tale of a bad romance that he had to get out of. [50:29] It is a very gentlemanly way to say it's a superior delivery mechanism. Well, he's very smart, right? Yeah. So he's very articulate. He's talking about what it was like to smoke crack. Yeah. And I was like, holy shit, man. And I wonder, I guess he's off of it because I guess if you start it again, it's probably just another. Well, there was that baggie they found at the White House, but... [50:51] First of all, it might have been his, but also, you think he's the only one of those people doing coke? Yeah, I was about to say, that could be anybody. Listen, there's probably a lot of those folks that need a little pick-me-up sometimes for a meeting, before they have to do a press thing, or you're working 16 hours a day, a little tired. Woo! Big time. Let's go! I used to work at a real estate company when I was in college. They would buy apartment buildings, and the senior management, they used to buy Adderall off me. [51:20] They would just chomp fucking Adderall. Come in and just be like, they would do sales meetings and just be like. A friend of mine who's a journalist says that all these journalists are on Adderall. Yeah, I believe it. It says it makes you productive.

[51:32] Yeah, they're all doing it. [51:33] Some of them are like super open about it. Like Dave Portnoy, when he was in here, he was telling us. What did he say he took, 30 milligrams? [51:39] Thanks. [51:40] I don't remember, but yeah. It was enough that I was like, yo, and then I had to go to Jamie. How much is that? And Jamie was like, a lot. 30s, yeah, 30s. That would get you. But not a lot if you do it a lot. [51:51] Right? Yeah, you would get a... That's the thing. It's like if you're doing edibles with Joey Diaz. Like, how much should I take? Take two, cocksucker. Like, what? Take two? How much do you take? [52:02] Yeah, that would definitely... I mean, I feel like I can't get a tolerance to eat edibles. They just knock me out every time. Jamie can just eat them and they don't do anything to them. That's crazy. I know people like that, too. They're like, I need like 200 milligrams to feel it. I'm like, I'm psychotic. At 200 milligrams, I'm fried. It's a lot. Yeah, 200 is a lot. [52:21] milligrams, so I would try to gauge it. Like, I don't want to eat too much of it. And it would just, I would get fucking whacked all the time. [52:27] I [52:28] We went over how many people are on Adderall once, like the number of Adderall prescriptions in a year. It was something bonkers. It was like 39 million Adderall prescriptions in this country. But then you have to go, like, how many people is that? [52:44] Right. Because like you refill your prescription. So how often you refill it? [52:48] how many times a year, [52:49] You know what I mean? I think it's more than 39. If that's the case, I feel like there's 39 million subscribers to Adderall. Well, there's definitely people that are getting it other ways. For sure. For sure. Yeah. You get your script and you sell it, but it's like – so there were 39 – Not just that. You're getting it illegally. Yeah. You're getting illegal good and bad. You're getting cartel stuff. Like pressed and stuff. Yeah. Like they can make a Valium that looks just like a Valium and there's fucking fentanyl in it. Yeah, true.

[53:19] They're like completely riddled with that right now. Oh, it's scary, man, because kids are taking these – like there was a kid from a local high school around here that I read a story. He took an Adderall. He thought it was an Adderall, and it had fentanyl in it. He died. He got it from one of his friends. He was just trying to cram for studies. [53:37] Yeah, that's why I always tell people, anyone I know who does coke, I'm always like, you've got to stop, man. They're like, no, we'll test it. It's like, no, you're not. You're going to be at a bar. [53:45] You're going to be hammered. You're going to buy Coke and shove it up your nose. You're not going to stop and be like, let me see. I've never done it, but all my friends who have done it have all said the same thing. Don't do it. [53:57] I've never done it either. I've never had any interest. But it's like every time I'm around people on it, I'm just like, dude, this sucks. Maybe they're having fun. They want to sell you Bitcoin. They want to go into business now. Everybody does. They get like super hyped about a project. They want to bring you in. Well, that's what I think. I guess that's the way it was explained to me. You just feel like you accomplished something major. So you just like snort coke and you're like, I am the best ever. [54:23] I don't know. Yeah. [54:27] Diaz used to say that you can't go on stage with that. Yeah, I can see that. It's the worst because you have no feeling. You don't feel for the crowd. Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't drink and go on stage because I'm way too confident. If something doesn't land, I'm like, fucking whatever, pussy. I don't care and I just do so bad. Yeah. [54:45] Yeah, that's... [54:46] It's a weird fine dance that people do with substances and performing, especially if you're doing like a speed or something. Yeah. Because you can get it wrong. I would imagine. Yeah, you can get your balance wrong. I've heard Adderall does not mix with comedy at all. That's what I've heard too. I've heard that people like it. It's like a weird part of your brain where you're just too lasered in. I've heard people like to use it for writing though, which I think is weird. I guess. Yeah, I don't know. I know they use it for writing books. I don't know if it would be the same for writing comedy.

[55:16] Because you're talking about coming up with ideas. You'd imagine that would be the coffee thing on steroids. Yeah. For me, for writing – I like to write. I write books. I like to do other stuff. [55:28] Writing stand-up is more like it has to just pop into my head. Then I go like, oh, that would be funny. And then, you know, if I start fleshing out, like, new ideas come. But I've tried to, like – [55:36] write stand-up and it never it like very rarely do i get anything that like works from when i do that yeah me too but what i do is i write essays i just like essays on a subject and then from that i'll extract little things that's a good idea and then i take that little thing and i say how do i introduce this thing and what is what would be funny about this thing and how would i lead into this and what are the other like surrounding things that would go with this no that's that's a good way to do it i have to i have to trick myself into being like i'm memorizing my material [56:06] point it and then I get bored and my mind wanders. I'm like, that would actually be pretty funny. Right. And then you start rambling. Yeah, that's the thing about the essay. [56:14] That if you just sit down and write a subject – about a subject, whatever that subject is, that you just start thinking about all the different aspects of that subject instead of thinking how to write in comedy form. Yeah. No, that's a smart idea because if I try to write it, then like you try to repeat it, but you wrote it down so it sounds like a written thing and it's like – [56:34] But even that in the essay way, it's a brutal process because then you have to take that one sentence or that one paragraph in a thousand words and then figure out a way to introduce that where it's not clunky. Yeah. And then figure out what's the funniest part about it. And it's like you have to always know that the first time you bring it out there, it's going to suck. Yeah. And you have to just slowly but surely trust it to get better and just throw it into the fire every night. Yeah.

[57:04] have your bits that you know are going to kill, and you're like, I don't want to trot that one out here. I know. That kind of is the funnest part, though, to me. Like, when I moved here... [57:12] I had just – I think I had just put out an hour or, like, recorded. So I had no – I had to, like, start with, like, new material, which sucks. You move somewhere – [57:22] You have new stuff. You're like, dude, I have only new shit. [57:25] It's a bad feeling, but it's exciting because you're like, you don't know how it's going to go every night. I don't know. I like that. I think it's good. I think it's like we were talking the other day about loss, about failure. I was talking with Michael Malice about bombing on stage. I think bombing is good because what happens if you bomb, that feeling, you feel terrible the next day. You feel terrible that night, and then you're like, I got to fucking get back on stage and really tighten up my shit. [57:55] leaps after I bombed. I'm like, I think it's important. Like failure is important. It sucks. You don't like it, but you got to go through that. Like maybe you got overconfident or maybe you were in a bad mood or maybe it was like whatever. Yeah. [58:10] No, it helps. That's what, like, motivates me to write stand-up. If I bomb, I'm like, all right, now let me, like, dial it in. Because I have, like, I'm always doing a bunch of stuff, and, like, I'm like, oh, I got a show, and I, like, you know, organize kind of against the gun. [58:23] But yeah, a good a bomb really is like a clarifying. It's good for you. Honestly. Yes. It is. Well, I used to say that to fighters, too. You lose a fight. It's good. As long as you get really hurt. Yeah, it's good because you like that feeling. Go home with that feeling and think about all the stones that you left unturned. All the times we skip road work. All the times we skip strength and conditioning. All the times you're half assing it in the gym. All the times you're half assing it in the gym.

[58:47] That guy didn't do that. He just beat you. Now you know. [58:51] You have to understand that there's levels to these. There's levels to dedication. There's levels to competency. And a good loss is good for you. Yeah. And kind of like, you know, again, if you have your tried and true and you're just going on stage, it's working night after night. [59:07] You just go home and you're like, oh, whatever. But, yeah, when you bomb, like, for me, it does something in my brain where my thoughts start flying. You know, whatever that is just helps me get stuff out there. Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real problem was there was these local headliners that had these fucking acts, man. They had 45 minutes of, like, hammered samurai sword. It was so good because they had been doing that 45 minutes for a decade and a half. That's crazy, dude. It was so good. [59:37] So good. The pacing was so good. They would crush every night. But after a while... [59:43] They never added anything new to it. And these guys just like a buddy of mine went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from like Fitzsimmons. Went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from the 80s. And he goes, dude, he was doing the same material. He goes, it was so sad. He goes, he was just phoning it in. It was barely getting a response from the audience. It was like dated references. Because this guy just had an act. And like a fucking guy who shows up at the office, he would... [1:00:11] open up his suitcase, pull his act out. That was his act. Those guys are always fascinating. Because when you're like, you know, I started in Philly. And like, so like the only the first like paid gigs you get as an open miker are like, you do like moose lodges and shit for like 50 bucks. And it's always one of those like wacko headliners has been around for 30 years doing it forever. He's giving you the career talk in between the show. There's like I would get like comedy magicians all the time.

[1:00:36] Oh, yeah. And dude, it was like, yeah, those guys would always kind of freak me out. Like, I would open for guys that would talk about like floppy disks in like the 2000s. And I'm like, what are you doing, man? You don't have CDs anymore. This guy talked about porn on a floppy disk. On stage? Dude, it was fucking Screech. R.I.P. It was Screech. R.I.P. I opened for Screech back in the day and I was like... [1:00:59] Fuck yes. This is going to be awesome. He was killing it in the comedy clubs. He was like one of the first people to go from being on a sitcom to touring on the road. Yeah. I call it late Screech, though. Skippy. [1:01:11] Remember Skippy from Family Matters? Was it Family Matters? No. What was it from? [1:01:16] What was the show? [1:01:17] Scope. [1:01:18] He was another guy who was on a sitcom. Not Step by Step. [1:01:24] I don't remember. But if I remember, he was – Same thing. He became – like Hollywood didn't work out for him. Family ties. Family ties. With Michael J. Fox? Yeah. Yeah. So that guy was headlining comedy clubs all over the place. This was like a bar in Delaware. This was not a glamorous gig. Whoa. It was bad. What year? This was – I was – I graduated – [1:01:48] college in 2009 it would have been like 2012 maybe so this was like late this was like late screech and the whole time he's on stage people go screech and he would just it's fucking made him so bad but i remember it was a funny show because i was it was supposed to be a lady it was supposed to host i was going to feature [1:02:06] It's going to be Screech as the headliner.

[1:02:08] And the guy who owned the venue just wanted to fuck this lady so bad that he was like, hey, I'm letting that lady feature. [1:02:15] You're going to host. And he was like, I'll pay you the same price. I was like, yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit. So he paid me. And I had been doing stand-up for a couple of years. So I was kind of sharp. [1:02:23] especially for that bar show. [1:02:25] And this lady, she had never done stand-up before. This was her first time. [1:02:31] This guy fucked her over. He thought he was doing something nice for her. [1:02:34] She sat there for all the 20 minutes and read out of a giant notebook. [1:02:39] and just fucking, like, completely horrific, like a first-time stand-up doing 20 minutes. Completely bombed. And Screech was in the back with me, and he's like... [1:02:47] the fuck is this? Remember, he was like bragging, being like, dude, they gave me eight grand. I don't give a fuck about this show. Yeah. [1:02:53] I knew a few guys who their girlfriends started doing comedy, and then their girlfriends started opening for them. And it was just... [1:02:59] Thank you. [1:03:00] Wild. For her sake, you can't do that. No. It's such a bad idea. It's so crazy. And these guys were like competent headliners. So the people were coming to see them. They're excited. "Hey, we're gonna go laugh. Have a good time." Nope. You're gonna get tortured for 20 minutes before you get to laugh. Also, that's not gonna help him either. She's gonna be furious. Like, it's... I don't know why people do that. You can't. Well, they wanna do it. Like, help me. Help me. That's one thing that happens a lot with comedy couples. Like, one of the couples will help the other one, right? Yeah. [1:03:28] Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Writing is one thing, but like – But that's why they want to do it. It's like they want to hook up with a headliner, whether it's a guy or a girl. Yeah. You hook up with a headliner. He or she helps you with your act, and then you go back and –

[1:03:42] It's also impossible, though, because if you're dating a comic and then you book your own opener, you can't be like, ah, next time. I got you next time. You have to flat out be like, no, I'm not. You're not doing this. Right. [1:03:53] And then you break up. Yeah. Yeah. But if you really care about their comedy, you'd be like, bro, you've got to go to the open mics and, you know. Yeah. Doing it in front of a sold-out show when you're just starting out is a crazy idea. I couldn't imagine. I literally couldn't imagine. It would have messed me up. Well, that's why I killed Tony so nuts. Yeah. Like, there are people who have gone on for their first time ever in Madison Square Garden to a sold-out arena of 16,000 people. [1:04:23] It's filmed for what, like a couple million people? Millions of people. You're out there eating dick. That must feel crazy waking up the next morning. Yeah, just like if you go to sleep. Let's imagine that you can go to sleep. If I flub a word, I don't go to sleep. They can go to sleep after that? [1:04:41] Yeah, you're essentially filming a one-minute special the first time you do it. On Netflix. God damn. Or on YouTube. I mean, both of them are getting fucking millions of views. I know. [1:04:56] I'd be so scared to do that. The people who can do that, I'm like, that's amazing. [1:05:01] They go out there and do crazy.

[1:05:05] That's actually true. Some of the people, when you're interviewing them after they do the set, I go, has this guy been screened? Do we need to make sure he doesn't have a fucking knife on him? They do need that airport fucking thing. Yeah, 100%. Some of these people are out of their fucking mind. I always wanted to hang in the bar, like the holding tank where everyone is, because that's got to be the craziest vibe in there. [1:05:26] Well, you remember open mic nights. Yeah, true. Open mic night at the comedy store in particular was always so nuts. Yeah. It was just a complete lunatic asylum. For realists, dude. There was this one guy, Robert William Apervaya, and he would come there. He was a really nice guy. And all of his act was about marijuana. And he, at one point in time, was a lawyer and then, I guess, blew a fuse. Yeah. [1:05:52] And then just was doing comedy, but he would walk from downtown. He lived in a flop house in downtown and it would take him hours. He would walk from downtown to the comedy store. And when it rained out, the way he would deal with the rain is he would take plastic grocery bags and walk. [1:06:10] tuck them inside of all of his clothing so he'd wrap them around his body so he had his clothing on the outside and these plastic bags all over his body that's that's so fucking funny the clothes were on the outside yeah so he let his clothes get wet but his body would be well he couldn't figure out how to put it all outside of him okay so his solution was just cover his skin and keep him from getting wet and cold which i guess would work it'd probably keep you sweaty

[1:06:40] And he would go there every night late at night and he would be like one of the last guys up at open mic night every week. Whoa. Yeah. And just was insane. Like you couldn't shake your hand. [1:06:50] Couldn't touch him. He was always nervous that everybody hated him, and so he'd be scared. And I became friends with him, so he was cool with me. [1:06:57] I'd talk to him. But, like, one time I tried to give him knuckles. I'm like, sorry, I forgot. He just wouldn't. Yeah. He would, like, mumble and look at the ground, like, sorry. Yeah. He was legitimately... [1:07:08] Cooked. Yeah, he was whacked. Whatever was going on. Ah, fuck. Yeah. But he was a lawyer. Yeah. [1:07:13] And he just... [1:07:14] Blew a fuse. Jesus Christ. It happens. Yeah, it does. Now, you forget, like, well, at least I did, because I... [1:07:21] You know, doing the open mics, it's like it is like a complete freak factory. A freak factory. But you're like steeped in that so much for years. And then I remember we're like... [1:07:30] When I finally stopped going to open mics all the time, I was still in Philly, and I just took a break from the open mics. I would go do shows, and I was like... [1:07:37] Let me go to the open mic. It had been like six months, and I was like, I'll go to one, try stuff out. [1:07:41] I, like, got in – you know, I'm sitting behind the area. I was in, like, Philly Helium. I'm just sitting there at the open mic, and I just got, like, right away, guys were like, dude, look at him. He fucking saw that. And it was just, like, all these people. I'm like, oh, this was, like, the worst environment you can possibly be in. Yeah. It was just – everyone was like, this guy's a fucking piece of shit. I hate this guy. And everyone was so fucking angry. And just – everyone was so charged on adrenaline all the time. They're also – [1:08:03] Like on the outside of this thing that they want to do, this dream, and they get to try it. Like a regular person with no training, no schooling, no nothing. Yeah. You get to stand on that stage with a microphone. I went down a rabbit hole the other night and I was watching open mic nights from Long Island. Oh, fuck, dude. Fuck.

[1:08:24] It was so crazy. That would be fun, though. It's so crazy watching someone that definitely shouldn't be doing comedy, that's trying comedy for the first time. [1:08:35] And I was, you know, it was one of those dumb things. It was like midnight. Like, well, let me see. And they have a film. It's all kinds of stuff. Basically, you find anything online. And I started watching. I can only watch for so long that I get anxiety. And I have to shut it off. That was like when you do open mics and you finally do like a showcase. You invite your friends or your family to watch. And they're just like, what the fuck are you doing? Who are these people? You're like, they're my friends. [1:09:05] went on stage. [1:09:06] I didn't want to do it by myself. That was the opposite. I didn't want anyone to see me for a long time. Yeah. And I did a show one time because I have a big family. So I did a show and there's this place, the Raven Lounge in Philly. It was like awesome. Like when we started, tiny little black box thing in the top of a bar. It fit maybe like 25 people. [1:09:23] And I have a big family, so I finally was like, all right, I'm going to invite my family out. Dude, I remember I was on stage, and I knew like 17 out of the 25 people. And I was like, dude, fucking kill me right now. This sucks. And they're staring at you like this? Yeah, I saw my aunt in the front, and it's like looking at me, and I was like, no. Watching you choke. Watching you bomb.

[1:09:44] For them. They were the audience. I'm like, fuck. [1:09:47] But that's the only way. [1:09:53] and then that has kind of got them into stand-up. Yeah, that's... There's just a function of comedy classes, and that function is, like, it gets you to try it. I don't... [1:10:05] think anybody, maybe there's a few people out there that are like legit comics that are teaching them. [1:10:10] But for the most part, not. So we had a comedy class at Helium. And the thing was, if you... [1:10:16] One, if you took the comedy class to let you in the comedy classes contest, then you can compete with the other people in the class. And if you won that, you got the hosting gig at Helium. And it was a sweet deal, but it was so hard to get into Helium. So I had done stand-up for a while. I took time off, and when I got back into it, I was like, fuck it, I'm taking that comedy class. I'm going to try to fast-track myself into host. [1:10:36] So I won the comedy class contest. [1:10:38] And then I got into Philly's Funniest. When I won Philly's Funniest, I got, you know, they were like, [1:10:43] The improv theater across the street was like, we'll let you host a comedy class and we'll give you like 35 bucks an hour. Dude, I had like no health care. I had nothing. I was like, absolutely, let's do it. So I had a comedy class and they showed up and I was like. [1:10:56] All right, never take a comedy class ever again. I was like, don't ever do this ever again. This is so dumb you guys did this. [1:11:02] We're just going to run this as an open mic. And I was like, get up there. And I had them all go up and just do like five. It was just an open mic. Well, that'll work. Yeah, that's what I try to tell them. Something, yeah. That's what I try to tell them. But the one I was at was like real sketchy, man. It was very much like, I'm about to blow up. I'm taking you guys with me. This is how it's done. And you get out of it and you go, this motherfucker, bro. I got deals in development, blah, blah, blah. It was fucking bullshit. There's so many of those guys. I got blacklisted from Helium because they found out I had a comedy class,

[1:11:32] fake comedy class. I just wanted the money for it. [1:11:34] Did you try to tell them? Yeah, I told the owner. I was like, bro, what are you doing? He's like, love, man, just chill. And I was like, can I do the open mic still? He's like, you can do the open mic. And the guy found out I was on the open mic, and they... [1:11:43] booted me off that for like a month oh my god he was out for blood i called him like what the fuck because i knew this guy i'm like what the fuck are you doing he's like well i didn't call them i'm like okay you know it's like it's a big thing but well there was talk when they were the same people own cap city here now there was talk that if you headline there you couldn't do my club for three months [1:12:02] It's crazy. And I was like, come on, guys. Why? I said to him, I'm like, if one of my friends is at your club, I'm like, I'll tweet about it. I don't want this to be competition. There's plenty of comedians and there's plenty of audience members for everybody. That's silly. Also, everyone's going to be fine. Yeah, that's insane. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't like that stuff. A young guy coming up, you're banning him from the club because he's hosting a comedy class for money? Yeah, it was nonsense. [1:12:32] That comedy class is probably going to lead more people to your club. It all feeds off of itself. I know. And it was literally like, well, maybe the word got out that I was like, never take a comedy class ever again. Why, did Philly have a class? Did Peelium have a class? That was the class I took. I took a class at Helium. Oh, that's right. Because I wanted to fast track myself to the host. Otherwise, you're going to do Philly's Funniest. You just said it. Yeah, so I was like, I completely gamed it. And I was like, fuck it. Because these were like people who had never done it before. I'd done it for years. So I just went and did the class so I could do the contest.

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[1:14:48] slash jre for 30 off terms apply yeah there's a couple people that i was like this guy's like a celebrity yeah like he's he's got it and it's just like i don't know what happened they just kind of like they're i guess i don't know it's weird it is weird there's a few people that i started out with i'm like damn this dude's talented like there's something there oh no yeah i know it's funny you said that i'm like i don't think so then i'm like oh yeah there was definitely at least one if not like [1:15:14] Two or three. Yeah. They would come. They would do this. This guy was always on his own time. [1:15:19] He would like show up late, just walk on. [1:15:21] I think there's some people you just can't keep into like a thing at all. But their personalities are like magnetic. Yeah. There's some people that for whatever reason, they never figure out how to make a living at it. Yeah. Yeah. [1:15:33] They never like, and then they get bored with it. [1:15:35] Or they get frustrated or something. Yeah, I couldn't imagine. [1:15:40] I'd see people go who would like – [1:15:42] You never want bombs when you're starting out at open mics, but there are people that bomb. [1:15:46] every time for like years and they keep doing it and you're like bro how are you how are you alive how are you doing this i would have one bad set i'm like i'm gonna kill myself dude i hate this some people just don't see it and that's also they don't address it and that's also where they don't get any better they don't have any self-awareness yeah that could be it and they're [1:16:06] perception of how people see them is distorted. Yeah. No, that's kind of scary, actually. You want to put blinders up. [1:16:13] It's pretty cut and dry, though, when people are silent in front of you. You're like, damn, I suck right now. I should change something.

[1:16:21] But in the beginning, it's such a weird – you're basically like running a marathon blindfolded through trees. [1:16:31] Well, I did it. Finally, when I did a special, I was like, oh, this is the point of it. You have to come up with an hour of stand-up. Before, I was just like, I need to have a good five minutes for tonight. And I would just go up and do it and be like, great. [1:16:43] Well, that's a lot of guys who live in cities where you do short sets all the time. Yeah. We were talking about that the other night in the green room. Like some guys who do a lot of New York City clubs, they have a really good 15 minutes. Yeah. A fucking crush for 15 minutes. But when they have to do an hour. [1:16:58] then things get weird. [1:16:59] Because they can't keep the same energy for an hour. It's not – you have to pace it. It has to be hills and valleys. You have to kind of like structure it. Yeah, yeah. And then they also don't really have the material because they're basically just doing their best 15 minutes all the time. Yeah, true. [1:17:14] I had the... [1:17:16] I wasn't even really doing stand-up. Me and Shane were doing the podcast, and I was like, I was going to do the podcast. I don't even want to do stand-up anymore. And then he... [1:17:24] It was pretty funny. Behind my back, went to the manager at Helium and was like, dude, have Matt Headline. And I was like, fucking dick. And the guy hit me up. So I started doing that. [1:17:32] So I had been not doing stand-up. - For how long? [1:17:34] For like months and months and months. Like maybe a year off. Wow. And I had like – you know, I went – you know, it was like I would go and try stuff. So then I started doing – when I first started headlining, I would – [1:17:44] Do an hour. [1:17:45] have off for like two months. [1:17:47] do an hour somewhere else it was the most insane it like really started fucking with me did you have recordings to listen to yeah i would record the audio and i would listen to it and then i would like jot down notes and like it was the most insane way to get back into it that was the thing that we experienced after covid

[1:18:02] There was a moment where I hadn't done stand-up in four or five months. It felt so weird. And then Houston... [1:18:09] had stand-up. They had clubs open. And they like space people out and put masks on them. Like, this is so ridiculous. Yeah. And we were doing shows inside. And I only did one weekend. And then I got super paranoid. I'm like, what if I give it to someone and they die? Yeah, I'm being so selfish. I don't want to do these shows. Yeah, I got to stop. So. [1:18:31] I had this old lady on the podcast, and my first thought was, what if I have it and I give it to her? Damn, that would suck. [1:18:40] I was so freaked out. Yeah. I didn't have, I wasn't even remotely sick. That was what was crazy. Like it was just a, it was a boogeyman. For sure. It wasn't like I'm coughing. Maybe I shouldn't come into work. No, it was like, I feel great, but what if I have it? I don't know. I know. I'm going to give it to this lady. Yeah. I did. I had my first kid, right? Like March, 2020. So it just, we got out of the hospital and like a week later I was like holding my face in a grocery store and being like, fuck, what the hell's going on? At least you could be with her when she gave birth then. [1:19:10] Yeah, that was cool. That was what was crazy. Yeah, I felt bad. People were dying alone because you couldn't visit them while they were dying. And it was insane, dude. It was like – and luckily – [1:19:20] When we went in for our second kid, that was like it was still kind of in the mix. [1:19:24] We were able to go in together, but, like, our nurse, you know, if we didn't have, like, our mask on, she was like, I don't know, whatever, I don't care. Because I heard people were getting, like, just, like, two weeks after we had our kid, people were in there, like, I got to stay home, my wife's in there by herself, blah, blah, blah. And it was, like, disaster. But even navigating that was crazy because it was, like, you know, I'd tell my wife, like, well, I want to go do this. She's like, well, what if you bring it all to all of us? And I remember just at one point being, like, then we're all going to fucking get it, dude. I don't know. Like, we, I, you know, I did the numbers. Like, I think this affects older people or, you know.

[1:19:52] What time was this? This would have been March. It was like March 2020, and then like the next six months – [1:19:58] Because I would, you know, I would like go try to do stuff. He's like, if you go outside, we're all going to get sick. I was worried about it. I wasn't really confident that people weren't going to get really fucked up by it until like a few of my friends got it and got over it. Yeah. And then my family got it and I didn't get it. [1:20:14] And I thought that was crazy because I tried to get it. Like I didn't. Yeah. I didn't. I hugged my kids. They were laughing. You're going to get COVID. I was like, I'm not going to get it. And part of my head was like, boy, I hope I don't get it. Yeah. I never got it. I worked out and I didn't feel so good. And I said, let me just go through the paces today. And then I worked out the next day. Same thing. I'm like, I don't feel so good. I feel like weak. [1:20:36] So I just let me do like my kettlebell routine with like 35 pounds. Just easy. Don't push it. Just a couple sets. And so I did that two days in a row. And then the third day I went to the gym. I'm like, how do I feel? And I'm like, I feel fucking good. Like I feel great. Like nothing feels wrong at all. And I had a full workout and I felt fine. So I'm like, all right, I guess I didn't get it. And I went and got tested to see if I had antibodies, like if I had recovered from it. Nope. Never got in there. Yeah. That's actually my wife. She was coughing and shit. That's awesome. That's such a fucking beast move. [1:21:06] She was like, you're going to get it. I'm like, let's find out. Let's find out. That is a beast move. I'm terrible at math, but I remember looking up like – [1:21:16] How likely is it to die from this? And it was like...

[1:21:19] 0.00001 something. I was like, "Pfff, fine man, 0.001." There was so much propaganda. And it was like, the thing was, we were in the middle of doing podcasts and we've tested everybody when they show up, make sure that nobody has it, tested all of the employees, security guys, everybody that works for me, everybody got tested every day. We'd show up, we'd be separated, nurse would come with a mask on, test everybody. And then once we have the results, then we would allow the show to go on. [1:21:47] I was like, I can't fuck this up because if I fuck this up, I fuck this up for everybody. Yeah, sure. I got to be careful. Yeah. And I just didn't want my guests. Like the guests were flying in. They were taking a chance. A lot of them were older. A lot of professors, they're flying in to do this podcast. And I had to make sure. And then someone ratted us out. [1:22:08] So the health department showed up. [1:22:10] at the studio and they wanted us to have a bag of masks, like right when you walk in. So we had to put a bag of masks right there. We had to put a hand sanitizer thing right there and then a sign that, [1:22:23] It says like what you're supposed to do, six foot distancing, all that shit. I was like, all right. But they were saying that we weren't socially distancing. We saw him hug people outside the front door. That's completely dystopian, man. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't know why. You know what it was? Because my parents were just like – because the first time we all hung outside – [1:22:42] Both my parents were like, bro, this sucks. We're just coming inside. We're not doing this. And that was like... Oh, my parents were terrified of it. My parents didn't give a fuck. They were like, this is bullshit. Yeah, my parents didn't want to hang out with anybody until they got vaccinated. Really? Yeah, they were real nervous about it. They're older, you know? Yeah. It's like, when you get older, you know, like, that's why a lot of these people, like the Neil Youngs and Howard Stearns and all those people that really freaked out about it, they're older people. Yeah. So to them, they're looking at, they might be that 1% that dies. Yeah.

[1:23:09] Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Whereas, like, you're young and healthy. You work out. You'll probably be fine. You'll be okay. Your wife's healthy. You'll be fine. When you're an old person and you smell death in the air already, every day you wake up, you're like, oh, my fucking back hurts. Oh, Jesus. You can barely get out of bed. Fucking your feet are swollen. Like, it could get you. Yeah, it's crazy. I'm surprised. My parents are like, you know, I think they're like going to be 70 soon. They were just kind of like. [1:23:39] We don't give a fuck, man. It depends on where you grew up. I think that's what it was, man. They're all just like, fuck that. It's bullshit. No matter what it was. It's fucking bullshit. Yeah, if you grow up hard, you're not worried about a cough. Yeah, they weren't. I remember I finally got it. I finally got it. Dude, it kind of like rocked me. The first day, I had talked so much shit, and I got it. I was like, bro, if I die, this is going to suck so bad. It's like, but we got it. My wife got it two days later, so then I had it. We had a little kid, so we just switched off. [1:24:09] Like... [1:24:09] recovered enough so we were our kid never got it. [1:24:12] Kids can go right through it. [1:24:16] Both of my kids got it, and they just burned through it. One of them had it more, but she's a little more sensitive. She was pretty sick for a couple days. Not scary, but she didn't feel good for a couple days. The other one barely had it. It went right through her. [1:24:31] Yeah, the one didn't get it all, the one with a runny nose. I was in bed for three straight days just like – [1:24:36] Hurt. Super fever hurting. Were you taking any vitamins at the time? No. At the time, I wasn't living very healthily. See, that's the thing. Yeah. I'm all over the vitamins. Yeah. And I was all over the vitamins then. And my wife back then, I don't think not so much. Yeah. I don't think she did as much. So when I was around everybody that got it, it just never got to me. Yeah. No, I was – we had like a relative newborn kind of situation going on. That's a hard one. Your immune system is going to be crushed anyway because you're getting zero sleep. Yeah.

[1:25:05] Everybody is like ready to fall asleep at any given time. Watching TV. I've never recovered. I'm still ready to pass out. Like I can fall asleep. I go home and I'm fried. I take naps. That was a big thing for coffee. Now I can take naps during the day. I can't take naps when I drink coffee. [1:25:19] Oh, I never take naps. Oh, I love them, man. A little siesta. The only time I ever take a nap is if I have to do something really early in the morning. So, like, if I do a set at night and I'm not home until, like, 1230 and, like, maybe I have to get up at 6 or something, I'll take a little nap. [1:25:35] Just because for me... [1:25:37] There's a balance of like what is – what's more important, getting things done, working out or not getting into a deficit. And for me, it's not getting into a deficit because when I – like if I do a podcast and I'm sleepy, I get so mad at myself. I'm like, what are you doing? Like this is your one job. I know. Be awake and talk to people. Sleep like a toddler. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's cool. So how long are we in Indonesia for? [1:26:03] It is embarrassing. Like what the fuck, man? [1:26:07] Coffee and energy drinks and taking nicotine pouches and just trying to fire the brain up. Yeah. When I do that, my face just gets hot and I'm just anxious. It's like – that's why – especially for shows, like I try to travel. I leave like on an early, early flight – [1:26:21] get where I'm going and just take a big nap. Yeah. And then I wake up and go do the show. One thing that I started doing when I was on the road a lot was I would go in on Thursday if I had a show on Friday. Yeah. So I would get in Thursday night, sleep.

[1:26:35] And then instead of flying in the day of the show, because you're always a little foggy. Yeah. You know, it's hard. And back then I wasn't on the nootropics as much. I wasn't like taking it with me on the road, you know, brain vitamins and shit like alpha brain. Yeah. [1:26:50] But now I don't fuck around. I don't travel without that stuff. Yeah. No, you do need – I do the day of. I can't help it. I just go early, nap. [1:26:58] I did a show in Vegas last weekend that, like, it didn't start until 10 p.m. Vegas time. [1:27:03] So I got there, it was... [1:27:05] brutal i got there took a nap woke up at like 9 p.m vegas time it was just like i felt like a bug you know what my uh trick for that is the moment you land [1:27:16] The moment you land, put your shit in your hotel room, go straight to the gym. Yeah. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You've got to get a workout in. Yeah. You've got to sweat, like really sweat. Yeah. Just really get it going. [1:27:29] Do some push-ups, whatever the fuck you want to do, but just really sweat. And then it feels like it resets your system. I can see that. That would wake you up and kind of calm you down. Yeah, it resets your system. [1:27:40] Like, whatever the fuck happens when you're on a plane, when you get off, you're just like... Dude, I feel like I've been microwaved. I get off the plane. Yeah. We have been, kind of. Yeah, pretty much. I feel... I smell weird. It's like an x-ray. You're getting an x-ray. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Try not to... The other day, I was like, maybe it's, like, good for me somehow. I'm up here and it's like... It's just, like, constricting my blood vessels and they, like... Turn you into a superhero. Well, I, like, was in Denver and I ran... You know, recently, I was, like, running and working out in Denver and I was like...

[1:28:06] probably altered now. I did like a 30 minute workout. I'm like, I'm probably totally different now. Well, I lived above Boulder for a while. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, I had a gig in Philly. So, uh, I was living up there for a couple of months. I was living at 8,500 feet above sea level and I'd work out up there. And then when I'd go down to Boulder at 5,500, I had all this endurance. I was like, this is crazy. Oh, in Denver. Yeah. From Boulder to Denver, you're saying? No, from where I was, I was in the mountains above Boulder. And so I'd go down [1:28:36] 55, 57, whatever it is. But I was at 85. Damn. Yeah, 8,500 feet above sea level. Yeah, that's a lot. So then I did a gig in Philly, and I went to the gym, and I remember I called my friend. I'm like, dude, I feel like I could run through a fucking wall. Damn, I want that so bad. That's why a lot of athletes train. They go to Big Bear in California. They train up there. Damn. I got to do it for just once, and I was like, dude, this is awesome. Yeah, if you can live at altitude and train at altitude [1:29:06] Superpower. Fuck, that's awesome. So a lot of endurance athletes, like that's why they put the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. That makes sense. Yeah. Like training at altitude is a legit hack. Yeah. I didn't realize, because I've always wondered, like, why is it so hard? And it's literally just the air thins and there's less oxygen. Yeah. It's that simple. And then your body has to adapt so you get more red blood cells. Yeah. That's why they take EPO. That's what EPO does for you. Oh, you don't have to go to altitude. Well, I think a lot of them do both. Damn. You know, they just go as hard as possible.

[1:29:36] Like, how much before I get a stroke? It's true. I'm trying to win a gold medal. I'm trying to win the Tour de France. [1:29:43] Dude, I just started sprinting again. Sprinting? Sprinting. Just all out, total sprints. And just to see where I was at. [1:29:51] I feel like if you just stop, you can feel that age creep in a little bit. I think there's a lot of mental stuff to be like, you know, man, it just fucking goes. But if you're not testing it, how do you know? You're just not letting yourself go anyway. So I haven't been running like that in forever. Yeah. [1:30:07] And dude, like my fingertips would be numb. I would do 100 meter sprints and I like can't feel my hands. [1:30:15] Now I can. Now I can. I fixed it. And now I, because you like grow new veins and shit. [1:30:21] I swear to God, it's true. Are you a doctor? I don't know. I just, I've crocked dude. We're all equal now. But yeah, I remember being like, let me see where I'm at. And I was like, bro, you really do. You use it or lose it, man. And I can run now. I did it this morning. I can sprint now and like, I don't get numb. [1:30:36] It's pretty awesome. How do you do it? Do you go to a track? I have a track, yeah. I have a track near my house, and I just fucking bolt early, super early in the morning. You feel amazing all day. And so you just pick a certain amount of distance you're going to run? Yeah. I'll do, like, someday. Like, today I did, like, two 300s, two 200s, and then, like, we're supposed to do four 150s. I got two, and I was like, I'm tapped. So you're done in, like, 15, 20 minutes. You're done. Yeah. You go there. I'm there at, like, 6 o'clock, and I'm done in 20 minutes. And you feel like, it's like you were talking about.

[1:31:06] run to a city and just get like an all out workout. Yeah. You feel like you're walking on air for the rest of the day. That makes sense. There was a study recently about explosive exercise. [1:31:17] And that's one of the things that's lacking in, like, older people. They get older, they stop doing any kind of explosive exercise, like sprinting. Yeah. And how beneficial that is for maintaining your health and your ability to move around. Dude, I'm telling you, like, that was, like, such a drastic thing. But I was like, damn, my circulation is, like, going. Like, I can't fucking run without my hands feeling all, like, pins and needly. That's so weird. And it just, they came back. Now I can do it. My fingers feel fine. You're getting in shape. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. Because that was the thing. Cardio is always, like, cardio is dumb. Who cares? [1:31:47] like I learned. [1:31:48] I think it's just like you secrete growth hormone and then your veins and capillaries start like – you get – literally, you get like new and wider veins. It makes sense. Yeah. [1:31:56] It's pretty cool. Makes sense. I mean, your heart is fucking pounding out of your chest. Yeah. You're hitting 180 beats per minute. It's like fucking forcing all that shit through. Just clearing it out. Like, all right, what are we holding on to right now? See, like, you never got fat or you never got, like, really badly out of shape. When you see a guy like Jelly Roll, like, I have so much respect for that man. Yeah. I have so much respect for that man. That dude lost 300 pounds. [1:32:25] Dude, how? He lost 300 pounds. No Ozempic. Just stopped eating sugar. That was no Ozempic? No Ozempic. He took testosterone replacement. That's it. That's fucking sick. Sick. I just assumed. I was like, he's got to be on Ozempic. He started off just walking, man. That's awesome. Just trying to walk. When he came here, last time we did a podcast, he ran, I forget, I think he ran 6.2 miles the day before. So they ran, like he was deer hunting down in South Texas.

[1:32:55] And he was with my friend Cam Haynes. And they went on a run. They did 6.2 miles. They ran. And hills and shit. Yeah. And then he came in here before the podcast. He ran 2.6 on the treadmill. So I was working out. And he was over there running and talking and laughing. [1:33:10] Look how good he looks. Yeah. How crazy is that? Fucking nuts. It's amazing. It's amazing. And we did the whole deal. We did the sauna afterwards. It was awesome. How long did he lose it? Three years. Three years. God damn, that's crazy. And he did it the right way. He did it the hard way. Just working out and eating right. No sugar, no bullshit, eating clean food. [1:33:32] and just slowly let his body... [1:33:35] drop [1:33:36] He's got to feel awesome. Yeah. [1:33:39] It's got to be amazing. Damn. [1:33:41] How would you say that's doing career-wise? If he has a persona and he knows this... [1:33:46] I guess his fans are not on. He's got an amazing voice. Yeah. I mean, the amazing voice is still amazing. Yeah. Well, your voice changes with fluctuation with weight a little bit. How does it change? I don't know. I've heard like if you're like an alto or something like that and you're at a certain weight, it can change if you kind of – because this is your diaphragms, I guess, in your stomach. I know some dudes who lost a lot of weight and they didn't like the way they look when they were thin because their head was too big. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Like your head gets big when you get heavier. Yeah. Oh, it just grows. Yeah, it makes sense. [1:34:16] with your fucking body. Significant weight loss can change a person's voice, often making it sound higher pitched, lighter, or clearer due to reduced fat accumulation around the larynx, throat, and chest. These physical changes decrease pressure on the vocal cords, improving breathing resonance, and reducing the effort required to produce sound. So it makes you a better singer. But does it, though? Because, like, opera singers, aren't they all fat?

[1:34:37] I think so. I wonder if you have to be. [1:34:40] I don't know. Are there any really thin, handsome opera singers? Yeah, I don't know about all fat. I like to just generalize. I think it's a cartoon. [1:34:50] I have the same thing. I'm like, yeah, I've seen that in cartoons as well. Oh, those are the big fat jolly guys. Fat lady with a Viking helmet. Yeah, it's always. But that sounds good, though. So your voice gets clearer, higher pitched. And it's not as much effort. Yeah. Sounds like that's R&B legend status then. You can do high notes. Also, cardio. You'll have way more cardio. [1:35:10] fast you'll be able to have more oxygen to sing yeah dude it's all good yeah yeah that's awesome i mean his voice is amazing and it's his songwriting too it's not just the voice it's like what he's singing about it's like that's not gonna get yeah and his his fans i have it like a weird thing in my head where like for comedy i'm like if i get too good of shape people are gonna be like fuck this guy [1:35:29] This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. There's also no long-term contracts and

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[1:37:49] Yeah, boss. Yeah. Character. Like Kid Rock style. I just saw you see the workout vid. No, what do you mean? You didn't see the Kid Rock, Robert Kennedy workout vid? Shut up. You didn't see this? No. Bro. You said you did it off social media, so you must have really got off social media. I'm off social media, dude. Yeah. It is. [1:38:08] It's very funny. I'm off social media, but apparently I'm not off the fucking news, which I think I have to be off now. Yeah. Because I haven't been gone on social media, but I'll read the Apple news feed and the Google news feed, and I'm like, fuck. That's basically scrolling, too. I tried the same thing. I was reading about B-52s headed to some Air Force Base, nuclear-equipped B-52s. I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah. So let me see this workout video. It's Kid Rock, and oh, Jesus Christ. Bro. Oh, this must be Kid Rock's house. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Rock out, work out. [1:38:38] RFK Jr. works out in jeans. Yeah, he's... Look, he always works out in jeans, which is so crazy. [1:38:47] Yeah, this is Kid Rock's house. Kid Rock has a fucking insane house that looks like the White House. He had, like, the outside of it looks like the White House. But the inside of it has two bedrooms. And it's, like, 25,000 square feet. It's an enormous house with two bedrooms. Yeah, it's all just party. He's got a huge, like, hot tub room. Look at R.F.K. Jr.'s fucking jacked, dude. He's awesome. For $70,000 on the airdyne. Look at him doing push-ups. These guys are doing the airdyne in the sauna. I know. [1:39:17] Wild. [1:39:18] Yeah, I think they go to his, like... Cold plunge with jeans on? Cold plunge jeans is crazy, bro. What the fuck are you doing? That is ridiculous. What's wrong with your legs? Now I need to know. Where's Kid?

[1:39:29] So this is his crazy room that looks like a mining cavern. I've heard of his secret grotto. He's got like this. It's really cool. He's really into pickleball, too. He plays pickleball every morning. That's what he's telling me. He goes, get up and play pickleball, 7 a.m. Everybody play pickleball. He's like, dude, I fucking love it. That's what it looks like. Look at how dope that is. His house is so dope. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. It's the fucking dopest house I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, that's awesome. And it's such a kid rock house. Like the outside of it looks exactly like the White House. [1:39:59] larger. I don't want you to be distracted from the whole milk they're drinking in the hot tub. Oh, they're drinking raw milk. That's raw, bro. Yeah. Can I... [1:40:08] Bringing your attention to something that's been happening on the internet since we've been live. Yes. President... [1:40:13] Trump was asked about Obama talking about the aliens. I got a video on the screen. Perfect. I want to hear it myself. Yeah. Barack Obama said that aliens are real. Have you seen any evidence of non-human visitors to Earth? Well, he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that. So aliens are real? Well, I don't know if they're real or not. I can tell you he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that. He made a big mistake. [1:40:43] No, I don't have an opinion on it. I never talk about it. A lot of people do. A lot of people believe it. Do you believe it, Peter? I do now.

[1:41:00] I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. That's hilarious. [1:41:04] That's it. What's going on around the Internet in those circles? I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. [1:41:11] Jeez, I... [1:41:12] I hope he does. Yeah, really? Yeah. [1:41:16] Imagine you can get in trouble as a president for saying aliens are real. I don't think so, man. I don't think he's going to get in trouble for that. [1:41:23] Well, what did he say then? What was that? They've been saying there's aliens. Right, but what did he just say? He just hates Obama. He's going to jail. I'm getting Hillary and I'm getting Obama for aliens. They all hate each other and they all hang out and shake hands. Yeah. [1:41:37] Yeah, whose funeral was that when George Bush and them were handing out candy to each other? It was like George Bush. Well, George Bush and Michelle Obama are apparently friends. Oh, they're buddies. Yeah. Okay. Which everybody thought. But George Bush never engaged in this insult kind of thing that Trump does. It's true. It's a different thing. Yeah. It's totally true. He was always very classy. Yeah. Yeah. [1:41:56] Yeah. And especially when you see the videos of him back in the day, like now you're like, man, this guy's like lovable. Oh, dude, in comparison to the politicians of today. That's what I'm saying, yeah. He was like, oh, when is he running again? The guy's a complete class act. And then you're like, oh, yeah, fuck the Middle East. Forgot about that. But it's like. Oh, yeah. Well, he had Satan on his side. Yeah, true. Dick Cheney was running around fucking shooting his friends in the face and hunting trips. That's true. I don't know. I mean, that thing is like, dude. [1:42:23] It wasn't classified. There's like now. But then if Trump's going to be like that, he gave out classified, then he's letting you know it's classified. He's telling you the cat's out of the bag. Well, he's saying I may declassify it.

[1:42:34] I hope he does. I hope this like gets him because that is a weird thing to say. He's not supposed to be saying that. Well, that means it's real. He gave out classified information. That means there's real data that aliens are real. That's the only thing you could draw as a conclusion from that statement. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You would think I think I don't think is it. I would try like try to come up with another reasonable way. He would say aliens are real. You shouldn't say that because it's classified. Yeah. That means it's real. [1:43:04] Yeah, it is. But that's like that's such a crazy if Trump was trying to keep it classified, you think he'd be like, I don't know what he's talking about. Well, I don't know, dude. Like, well, yeah, they are, but I can't say they are. And he's in trouble now. [1:43:13] I told you I've talked to Bob Lazar many times. [1:43:16] Oh, yeah, yeah, I had him on the podcast. I had dinner with him and Andrew Schultz. Schultz was in town in LA. I go, what are you doing tonight? And he goes, why? What's up? I go, you want to go have dinner with Bob Lazar? He's the guy that used to back engineer UFOs at Area 51. He goes, fuck, yes. Damn. All right. So we went to Fogo de Chau in LA. And we sat down with Bob Lazar and just got to ask him all these questions. [1:43:41] I've known him for years now. So I've known him for probably when I did the podcast with him. What year was that, Jamie? [1:43:47] Mm-hmm. [1:43:47] 20... [1:43:49] - '19? - 2019. So I've known him for [1:43:52] six seven years now okay whatever however it runs out time wise and and [1:43:58] He's always had the same story. [1:43:59] He's a very reasonable guy. You hang out with, I've had dinner with him a couple times. [1:44:03] Super normal guy. Doesn't seem like a big fat liar. Obviously a scientist. Like obviously a very brilliant guy.

[1:44:11] Like, I don't know what to think. [1:44:12] I keep searching for some bullshit. I keep searching for something. He never saw any aliens. He never saw anything. He just was back engineering these crafts that didn't make any sense. He's like he got there. He saw it. The moment he saw it, it looked like that thing. That's what it's based on. That thing on the desk, that's the sport model. [1:44:32] Jesus Christ. Yeah. There's a guy named Designs by Perry and the E in Perry is a three and he makes these. You can buy them on the internet. He makes it like a desk clock or a desk lamp rather. So he'd have to like examine the like motor or whatever the mechanisms of that and try to fix it. Well, they didn't even tell him what he was doing. [1:44:51] So this is what it was. So he worked at Los Alamos, Los Alamos Labs in New Mexico, and he was a propulsions expert. He had famously put a jet engine on the back of a Honda. He built a Honda with a jet engine on it just for funsies. He was just a genius. He just loved engineering and doing things. And he had contacted this guy about getting some work, some – [1:45:18] work in laboratories or whatever. And he said, I might have something for you that is more along the lines with your capabilities. I'm going to set up a meeting for you. So he sets up this meeting for him. He has no idea what the meeting is about. He has no idea what they're doing. They don't tell him. They just started asking him about his background, what he did at Los Alamos, what he's interested in. And he's like, it just tells his whole story of science and this and that. And so they had already heard about him. So they go, okay.

[1:45:45] Show up at this place. There's airplanes that are going to fly you out to where you're going. [1:45:51] So he's like, OK. So no one even knew about these airplanes back then. Now it's been confirmed that there's a bunch of airplanes right outside of Mandalay Bay. You could see these airplanes that they fly the employees that work in Area 51 and they live in Las Vegas. They just fly them out there. But nobody knew about this in 1989 when he was talking about it, when he blew the whistle on it. Yeah, yeah. And so they fly them out there. [1:46:14] They show him how everything works for a couple days in terms of how the base works and where you have access to, what you don't have access to. They bring him this guy that is his coworker that was there before, and then it was going to show him the ropes. And then a couple days in, they bring him into a hangar. [1:46:32] And there's that thing. [1:46:34] And it has an American flag sticker on it. [1:46:37] And so he goes... [1:46:38] "Oh, these are ours." He's like, "Oh my God, no wonder why people are seeing these things. This is something that we have." So then, [1:46:48] They tell him, [1:46:49] essentially tells how it works. [1:46:51] He's like, what is this, a test? Like, what? [1:46:53] Like they're very vague about everything. No one's telling him where it came from. No one's telling him anything. And then he realizes like the whole thing doesn't make sense because there's no welds. There's no seams. Yeah. [1:47:04] It's like it's 3D printed and you have to crawl in it because it's designed for people that are like three feet tall. Whoa. And there's no controls in it. It's like, what is this? [1:47:14] And there's this generator in the center of it that has this triangle piece of this element that doesn't even exist on Earth. This element 115. He's like, wait, what the fuck is going on? And they explained to him, you bombard this element with radiation. This is how this thing works. Put this dome on it, gets bombarded with radiation. And then that causes radiation.

[1:47:39] this field around this craft that allows you to move around. And so they do a demonstration for him. He goes outside, they fly this thing. [1:47:47] When he's under it, he can't see it. [1:47:51] He has to step away from where he is so he can see it again. He's like, what the fuck is this thing? It's not making any noise. It moves around. It gives off this, like, glowing light when whatever that – whatever this generator inside of it is operational. It gives off this blue glowing light. And this thing was, like, silently flying around. And occasionally it would go from one point to another very quickly. [1:48:21] the mountain and just appear there. And it would look like it just disappeared because it would move so fast. It would just appear in a new place. It seemed like what was steering the thing. [1:48:29] I don't understand it. And he didn't understand it either. [1:48:32] They don't exactly know. He knows how supposedly this generator, there's these gravity beam projectors that are on the bottom of it. And the way you get it to fly fast, it would turn sideways and then it would point these gravity projectors or whatever they called it into a certain direction. It would create this – [1:48:54] void around this craft and it would just instantaneously go to wherever it was supposed to go fuck that's crazy right and so he's working on this for you know months and months and then his wife starts having an affair on him because he doesn't tell her what he's doing it's like super top secret and so when you have this super top secret clearance you can't tell anybody what you're doing so he's like i gotta go to work she's like it's 11 o'clock at night where are you going

[1:49:24] and she was like, "Well, I'm gonna go." [1:49:26] Fuck my flight attendant or my flight instructor. [1:49:30] This is all recorded because they're tapping his phones. And so they – [1:49:36] They suspend him because they were wondering if he's going to be emotionally unstable. So while he's suspended, he takes his friends. He's like, I got to tell people about this. Like, I can't even work with something's going on. I got to tell these people like, hey, every Wednesday, I have the schedule every Wednesday, they fly these fucking things. And the reason why they do it on Wednesday is guess that's when there's the least amount of traffic on the roads. So he takes his wife and he takes a couple of friends and he takes them up to see this thing. [1:50:02] And they go once and then they go twice and then they get caught. Damn. And then when they get caught, then they grill him. They scare him. They're poking him in the chest with a gun and they're freaking him out. And then they tell him about his wife and the affair and all this shit. And so then he goes public. [1:50:17] And so he gets a hold of this guy, George Knapp, who's a news reporter in Las Vegas. And he tells him the story. And at first, initially, they black his face out so he could remain anonymous. He's like, look, the only way I could stay alive, you have to show my face. Because they're threatening him. They broke into his house. He goes outside. He goes to the gym, goes outside. His trunk is open. His hood is open. All his doors are open. The car was locked. No one broke into it. So he has no idea. They're fucking with him. Jesus Christ, man. And he's really worried. [1:50:47] on the highway. [1:50:48] Where is he now? He's just chilling. Well, he's, I don't know if I'm supposed to say where he lives. Oh, whatever. But he's like around. Yeah. No, he's around. I mean, this is a long time ago.

[1:50:58] It was a long time ago. And he was kind of discredited. They tried to discredit him. They said he'd never worked at Los Alamos Labs. But then someone got a hold of the employee roster from the time that he was working there. And his name's listed there. So someone who worked there at the time said, I have the employee roster from 1985 or whatever it was. And he says, like, here, right here. [1:51:18] And they go through the roster and it says right there, Robert Lazar. [1:51:21] And there's also a newspaper article that was printed about him being a physicist at Los Alamos Labs and that he had made this crazy jet engine powered Honda. And so there's him with the Honda and he's listed in this lab that he's a physicist at this lab. Dude, that shit's so weird. And then what that guy just said? Yeah. What Trump just said? He's not supposed to say that. It's classified. Yeah. [1:51:42] Yeah. What? Why don't you fucking tell us? Well, I always wonder if they're going to try to do, like, a Space Force thing where it's, like, WMD is the Middle East. We go to the Middle East. Now they're going, like, yeah, I think there are aliens. And it's, like, now we get to do, like, Space Force shit. I think if there are aliens, you can't do shit to them. I know. But it's also, like, if you want to erect some weird defense thing in outer space so we can spy on China, it's, like, yeah. I think there probably are aliens, by the way. It's, like, there's – I would imagine there's something. I would imagine there's something. [1:52:12] Floating out things. Like, I always – I assume there's, like, an agenda. I'm like, all right, what are they doing here? 100%. Because they just dropped aliens on us out of nowhere, and everyone was kind of like, okay. Well, it really started around 2017. Yeah. That's when it started to become legitimized because that was when the New York Times printed this article about it. And they talked about these pilots and their experiences and these videos that they couldn't explain because these crafts had no heat signature and they were flying at ridiculous speeds over the ocean. Yeah. I remember them just coming out with it.

[1:52:42] They start doing the UAP thing and all that stuff, and they're like, yeah, there's unidentified crafts and blah, blah, blah. So I'm always kind of like, what are they up to? Yeah, it's weird. What the hell are these guys up to right now? It's hard to know what's real and what's not real. But when you start talking to pilots and people that have experienced certain things, you just go, wow, what is this guy saying? [1:53:03] Yeah, and again, I don't deny it. I'm always kind of like, yeah, you probably did see that stuff, but it's like... [1:53:08] I don't know. You know, it's like... [1:53:10] Why is it classified? [1:53:12] It's got to be – I would imagine it's military stuff where they're like, we want to use it for – we want to reverse engineer and use it for our military if this gets into another military's hands, blah, blah, blah. But then they're all spying on each other, so I would imagine they would know too. Well, the people that I've talked to said that Russia and China both have retrieved crashes. Yeah. [1:53:29] Really? Yeah. It's not just America that has them. It's other countries that have them too. Damn. Supposedly, this is the big story. Supposedly. There's one that's so big that they can't move it, so they built a building around it. [1:53:41] That's supposed to be in Korea, supposedly. [1:53:45] That's why I heard it's in Korea. But yeah, this is the lore, that this thing is so big that they couldn't move it, that they had to put a building around it. [1:53:52] Thank you. [1:53:52] Dude, that's wild. That'll be the thing I always think about if they come out and say, yeah, there's definitely aliens. [1:53:59] What do people do? [1:54:01] Yeah. [1:54:01] This is the building, supposedly? Whoa. A giant building in South Korea is often been cited as a potential UFO storage. [1:54:08] facility [1:54:10] Can you imagine if they just built it the shape of a UFO? That kind of looks like it. That's so crazy. Dude, do a square building. What's in that fucking building?

[1:54:19] I don't know. Imagine if that's real. [1:54:22] Yeah, what is this? Why are they... [1:54:25] Why do they think this? Well, I would imagine that place would have to be heavily guarded. [1:54:31] Yeah. There's just a gate. Who's that guy? [1:54:34] Eric Burleson insisted on the existence of aliens but admitted he has no definitive proof. [1:54:54] So here it is. U.S. congressman has claimed classified facility housing a UFO is hiding in plain sight. Well, that's kind of hiding in plain sight. They literally made a little antenna on the top, just like this sport model. Look at this sport model. It has that antenna on the top. [1:55:08] I don't know what to believe, man, but I know I want to believe. 270 feet in diameter. Holy shit. Yeah, that's fucking insane. [1:55:17] Yeah, especially now with all the deep fake stuff that's going to come out. Like the next election, we'll be in like deep fake territory. Everyone will be like, you were on the Epstein list. You were on it. No, you were. [1:55:26] I'm like, I'm just, you know. You could have people saying all kinds of things that they've never said. Or being like, I didn't do that. Hanging out with people that never hung out. I mean, there was all these photos that were fake of Epstein with a bunch of different people. Oh, yeah. [1:55:37] No, there was a completely fake videos people were sharing. It's like – so I don't know. By that time, it's like I've been trying to just pull back completely from the news and I'm like – Hey, what is the official story of the Colbert show where they had to air that Tallarico interview on –

[1:55:55] YouTube.com. [1:55:57] Because... [1:55:58] I'm hearing two versions. I'm hearing one version that CBS wouldn't let them air it because like Trump, [1:56:05] was involved in the government, was involved somehow or another because they're worried about this Tallarico guy, this very charismatic guy in Texas that I really like. Very nice guy. I'm on the show. [1:56:15] And Brian Simpson told me about him. [1:56:17] And then the other... [1:56:18] The thing that I'm hearing is no, with FCC equal time rules, if he had Tallarico on, he would also have to have Tallarico's opponent, which is, I think, Jasmine Crockett. [1:56:29] Is that true? [1:56:31] I didn't even know whoever his opponent is. [1:56:34] So I think there's rules like that for the FCC that don't exist for podcasts. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. They have to balance it. Yeah. Like if you have this person on that's running for office, you also have to have someone that is opposing them. Okay. They have to have equal time. I didn't know they had that. Is that true? [1:56:50] So he was on Colbert's show. Who's show was he on? Yeah. Yeah. [1:56:54] Stephen Robert's show. Okay. And so they were framing it like it was – the government was censoring this guy because they're – and he was saying they're worried that they're going to flip Texas. Right. [1:57:05] That's what you're saying. I don't know if that's true, though. [1:57:10] Because I'm... [1:57:12] So it's the – honestly, this sounds like it's Colbert saying one thing. CBS lawyers are saying a different thing. Okay. What are CBS lawyers saying? They're saying that it's the FCC thing. Colbert says, quote, [1:57:24] here

[1:57:25] They know damn well every word of my script was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the record, approve every script that goes on. Yeah, but it's not about the script. It's about the humans, the people that are on. If the people are. Yeah, here it is. The show provided legal guidance that the broadcast could trigger the FCC equal time rule for two other candidates, including Rep. Jasmine Crockett, and presented options for how equal time for other candidates could be fulfilled. So you would have to have equal time. [1:57:55] scoffed at this statement during Tuesday's show. They know damn well every word of my script, but it doesn't have anything to do with the script. [1:58:03] Said they don't know damn well that every word of my script last night was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the record, approved every script that goes on the air. Well, that's just diverting because that's not what the subject is. Okay. I got called backstage to get more notes from these lawyers, something that had never, ever happened before. They told us the language they wanted me to use to describe that equal time exception, and I used that language, Colbert said, so I don't know what this is about. [1:58:30] He went on to say he wasn't mad at the network and does not want an adversarial relationship. Well, he's on his way out anyway. Yeah, I didn't know he still was doing a show. Yeah, he's doing it, I think, until like... [1:58:41] April or May or something. Come on, you're Paramount. No, no, no, you're more than that. You're Paramount Plus, he cracked. And for the lawyers to release this statement without even talking to me is really surprising. The host also noted there's been a long, very famous exception to the equal time rule, and that exception included talk shows, interviews with politicians. Oh, interesting.

[1:59:03] So that makes it interesting. [1:59:05] We looked. We couldn't find one example of this rule being enforced for any talk show interview, not only for my entire late night career, but for anyone's late night career going back to the 1960s, he said. Colbert said that Carr has not gotten rid of that exception for talk show hosts yet. [1:59:24] Maybe... [1:59:27] CBS was worried. [1:59:30] that this is a rule and that the government... [1:59:34] could crack down on them, although no one has ever done that in the past. So this is a different kind of government, right? Obviously, it's a very adversarial relationship, CBS, or at least the Colbert show. [1:59:47] has already with Trump. Yeah. What are they worried about? Who is who is teller? What party is Tallarico? He's a Democrat, Democrat. And Crockett. What's Crockett? She's a Democrat. Yeah. What is like? Oh, they're running against each other. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. OK. Tallarico is the white guy. [2:00:03] He's a guy – his story is very interesting. He was a schoolteacher. Okay. And his story was that he had this kid that was very troubled in his class, but the kid was receiving counseling and he was starting to get better. Then budgets got cut, and when budgets got cut, they cut off the counseling, and this kid started fucking off and acting out and really falling apart. And he wound up getting kicked out of school, and it really hurt him because he was like, this kid had real potential, and he is a teacher. Yeah. And so – [2:00:31] Then he decided to run for office and to try to remedy these problems. Gotcha. So didn't he just get like jammed up with something now or like they were someone claimed they were in his office and that he said something kind of like disparaging about like a black guy?

[2:00:44] Talarico? He's a very mild-mannered-looking guy, right? Yeah. Yeah. [2:00:48] There was – I don't know if I'm getting my politicians – See, man, when people are running against people, stories start a-flying. But there was – it was about another politician. All he said was like, I didn't know I was going up against – [2:01:00] You know, this like, I don't know, I guess like whatever word he used, like electrifying black. I thought it was going up against a mediocre black guy. [2:01:07] Some lady claimed that he called Colin Allred a mediocre black man. Faced allegations that he referred to his opponent Colin Allred as a mediocre black man during a private conversation with an influencer. [2:01:21] An influencer. Yeah. A comment Rep Tallarico has denied. [2:01:25] The allegation caused significant backlash with Allred calling for supporters to vote for another candidate, Jasmine Crockett. [2:01:48] And then the guy responded being like, nothing about me is mediocre. You know, they kind of had it. I'm looking into what the penalty is for the equal time rule. [2:01:55] And I don't really see one. Poor Tallarico. Tallarico's having a tough time. Especially if it sounds like he's a sweet guy who's trying to help kids out. His name's too close to the guy that killed Epstein. [2:02:07] I keep fucking him up. Taglione, Tallarico. [2:02:13] I keep confusing them. When I say the killer's name, that cop.

[2:02:19] I keep saying I think his name is Tagliato. No, Talarico. No, shit. [2:02:25] It's going to catch up to him. He's like, I think this guy killed Epstein, actually. [2:02:29] The thing is, like an influencer said, like, what does that mean? Yeah, I mean, look, yeah, it's pretty genius, though. If you want to do dirty politics, you can just be like. But what if he said, I thought I was going up against this mediocre guy, and now I'm going up against this powerful black lady? It's not a bad. But then he was like, you know, I'd be like, that makes sense. But he is a black man. [2:02:49] mediocre guy and it happens to be a black man. And then that person says, he said mediocre black man. Like, oh, yeah, it's not even that bad of a thing to say. All you'd have to do is just not say the black part and he'd be like, oh, he's just talking about a politician. I know. He's mediocre. I know. Happens to be black, but he's mediocre. But as soon as you describe him accurately. Yeah. You just, you're fried. You're fried. Especially if you're a damn man. If you're dead, you cannot be going. No. Yeah. [2:03:15] He's a religious guy too, which is interesting, but also opposes putting the Ten Commandments in schools. [2:03:22] Okay. Yeah, I said I think it's going to push people away from Christianity. He had a very – [2:03:26] well-thought-out point about it. [2:03:28] We had a really good conversation. Also, you don't need to be in school and be like, thou shall not commit adultery. It's like, yeah, dude, they're not going to fuck your wife. Well, it's not that. You're pushing these religious rules on people, and it's one religion. It's like, what about people that are Buddhists? What about people that are Muslims? What about people that are Mormons? You can go down the list forever and ever and ever. Hindus. Come on. Yeah, and it's also, you can kind of summarize it up and just be nice. I worked in high school for a while. I was a counselor.

[2:03:58] Really? Yeah. I went to school for social work for a while. [2:04:02] So like what kind of counseling would you do? Just like therapy. It was a really cool – the way they did it was like it was a charter school, and I was there as an intern. I was getting my master's in social work, so they would have interns there as therapists for the school kids basically so that the kids could get free therapy at school if they were exhibiting kind of problems or whatever. So it was like – I worked at – it was like an inner city school in Philly, and I would just go there and chill in an office, and they would just like – I'd have to get kids in class, and they would just come. We would like talk. [2:04:29] a couple times a week. [2:04:31] And then you could bring their family in if they had problems at home. You could be like, all right, let's call the mom and dad. This is what this guy was talking about. This is what Tallarico was talking about, what they cut funding for. Yeah, it's a shame because this school was like – they kind of like ran at them. I guess they were getting funded by the – [2:04:45] But the way they got around it was just using interns. So it wasn't like, you know, you're not getting like the most experienced people in the world. But you're getting some help. Getting something, man. Yeah. This kid that he was talking about, he has this very detailed story about this kid who's like a good kid, just came from a fucked up house. And he wanted – and these people around him were the only positive influences that he had ever had. And he was starting to get better. Yeah. And then he took it away and he starts falling apart. [2:05:11] Yeah, and dude, it's also like... [2:05:13] You forget, like, you know, because for kids, especially when you're in a city... [2:05:17] And kids are telling you, like, their lives. It's, like, it's fucking heartbreaking. It is. Like, their day-to-day setup, you'd be like, fucking Christ, man. Yeah. And then there's looking at you, like, what do I do? And I'm like, you've got to hang in there. There's nothing I – there's literally nothing I can tell you to do. You've got to hang in there. Right. It was sad, but it was one of, like, my favorite – if I didn't do stand-up, I would probably do that for a job.

[2:05:38] I loved it. It was fun. Well, it sounds very rewarding, right? You're actually helping people. [2:05:43] Yeah, and you have to – it's just, like, intense. You're just sitting there in a room with someone, and it's, like, everything they're saying, there's no, like, guidance. You have to just be like, all right, well, like, maybe this, maybe that, and it's like a – [2:05:52] I don't know. I felt really... I always liked it a lot. It was pretty cool. [2:05:54] But then you would like... [2:05:56] You go back to the school, and it's so funny. I went to social work school just because I was doing stand-up. I was kind of kicking around. I was like, yeah, I was doing the podcast, but it was like slow going. [2:06:05] And I remember watching Jordan Peterson be like, the schools are crazy right now. [2:06:09] Part of me like I always I wanted to be a therapist, but I remember being like I [2:06:12] Kind of curious, like, I wonder how bad they are. [2:06:14] I went to school. I went to my master's program in social work. [2:06:18] which was like ground zero for all the stuff he was talking about. And he was – dude, it was literally like worse than – [2:06:23] He made it out to be. What was it like? It was insane, dude. It was literally like, you know, I went to school again to be a therapist, but like social work, [2:06:31] you can be a therapist faster than if you go to school for psychology because you just like don't need any of the science really. You just study kind of like the theory and you know, whatever. So you can be a therapist quicker. It's like a shortcut kind of, [2:06:42] But it would be like... [2:06:43] It was just – you'd be in a room with like 13 other people, and they would like – you talk about whatever it be. Like let's talk about like clinical approaches here and there, and it would just right away turn into like race, gender. [2:06:55] Who's the most oppressed? Do this. And it was just like people would tell stories like one time this guy said this to me and everyone would be like, I can't believe that fucking guy said that. It was literally like nothing. [2:07:05] You paid 60 grand, it was like, I would be terrified if I was getting therapy.

[2:07:10] Again, it's like not everybody, but there's a lot of very unhitting. People will cry in class. [2:07:15] So you'd be like talking and like people would just start bursting out in tears like, I don't feel safe. It was insane. And I'm like, dude, you're going to be talking to people who are like homeless. How are you going to help them? Oh, my God. And it was all female. It was mostly female dominated. It was like me and three or four other guys. Yeah. [2:07:31] And then, like, people would come in because you'd bring your case files in and be like, here's something I'm dealing with. Let me get some, you know, what do you think about this? I remember this guy was dealing with this, like, Vietnam vet who, like, you know, had, like, lived in Philly his whole life. [2:07:42] And he was like, I was just shocked the way he talked about women. It's like, bro... [2:07:46] your dirty Mac and your client dude for these chicks. I'm like, come on, man. [2:07:49] It was just kind of weird. It was like, did you know? He's a fucking 70-year-old dude. He's lived in Philly his whole life. He probably stabbed Charlie in a tunnel somewhere. Yeah, and he was just very crude about women. It's like, come on, man. Of course this guy is. Don't throw him under the fucking bus. You're supposed to be helping. That was my whole point. It was like, if you're doing therapy with people, it's like... [2:08:06] You know, life is just so hard and so complex. And if you're going to be like... [2:08:11] This doesn't sit with my party politics. I was like, you guys got to drop the political shit, man, and just like meet these people where they're at. Well, there's so many guys out there that just want brownie points. [2:08:20] That's what I was. And dude, he's exactly what it was. I was like, dude, I know what you're doing right now. You're dirty macking this guy. So you can be like, personally, I was offended. I'm like, dude, I was the worst. I could I couldn't stand it at all. This guy's the worst. Then they try to kick me out of the school. Because when Shane got in trouble for SNL, my name popped up in the byline because I they had no clue. I had it was like a double life. I would do I would go to social work school because I just took out loans. I'm like, we'll just see what, you know, podcasts.

[2:08:50] So I'll just pay off the loans. If it doesn't, I'll have a degree. And, uh, so I had been, it had been pretty contentious because my plan was like, dude, just go keep it cool. Um, [2:08:59] Don't say anything. And then, dude, you'd be in these classrooms. And, like, I remember the one time this lady, and they're all, like, young. They'd be right out of college. They'd come out, and they'd be like, well – and I believe this was, like, unprompted. She was like, well, if – [2:09:11] She was like, I would never personally call the cops on a black person ever. [2:09:15] And I'm sitting in the back of the room and I'm like, no one's going to say this is the craziest thing. And I'm like, what if he was beating a woman? [2:09:21] And she was like, I mean, like, and like... [2:09:25] It was just that non-fucking-stop. And I couldn't help it, so I would start saying stuff. The room would go into chaos. So, like, I literally couldn't bite my tongue. And then eventually they found – they already kind of had it out for me. And once that news came out about the podcast, they were like, we got them dead to rights. [2:09:41] So then they... [2:09:43] They, like, the student council, like, they, all of them, they didn't like me at all. They all kind of did a motion to get me kicked out. And so the teacher came, or, like, you know, the dean or whatever, who actually was nice. I liked her a lot. She, like, I had a meeting with her, and she was like, yeah, these people feel unsafe, blah, blah, blah. So I had to do a, and it was, like, unsafe, or they just don't, you know, they don't like what they're doing. But, like... [2:10:03] I had a meeting with the board, basically. Did you ever fantasize about defending yourself in court? [2:10:10] Yeah, I got to do that. And I got to have like, you know, we got to like debate about whether or not I actually violated the code of ethics. And it was like kind of this gray area. So it was like, it was awesome. I recorded on my phone.

[2:10:21] Wow. It's like an hour long. I never listen to it again, but it was like, because I was like, just in case they jam me up, the lady was like... [2:10:27] you know, like, what would you do if we kicked you out? And I was like, dude, like, [2:10:31] I'll make the most of that for sure. I wouldn't want to do it, but I would just see you guys, man. You can't kick me out. I'm already invested. Blah, blah, blah. And then COVID happened, so they were just hushed at all. I just got to finish online class. Yeah, they tried to give me the boot, and I remember the day. Did they have a specific thing they were upset about? Was it your association with Shane? It was just that clip, that Chinatown clip came out. Oh, wow. And they just saw us. I'm sure they looked into other stuff, but they were like, he's making this place unsafe. We're not safe here. I was like, shut up. [2:11:00] Yeah, podcasters and academia. [2:11:03] It was too. It was. Academia does not go together. Also, dude, like I thought like having a master's, I was going to be around geniuses. It's like they're not that smart. You go to a place of master's and PhDs, half of them don't even like read anything. [2:11:15] You talk about a book, I've never heard of that. [2:11:17] And then they'd show you like Netflix. [2:11:19] Like, bro, I'm paying 60 grand for this. [2:11:21] You're hitting me with a Netflix doc. It's like, this is eight bucks a month. [2:11:25] They were showing you Netflix docs in class? Yeah. We watched a Netflix doc. One of the classes we watched, like, the 13th Amendment. [2:11:31] And I was like, I saw this already. What the fuck, man? Like, it's the, that, that, like, I mean, I remember thinking, like, damn, everyone's on Peterson's ass about this. He was totally right. [2:11:40] Liberal arts colleges were like... [2:11:43] I couldn't have thought of a bigger waste of money in terms of like bang for buck and like what did I actually learn? Well, I remember when we were talking about all the madness that was going on in schools and people like, why do you care about this? This is happening in college. I'm like, they're going to eventually graduate and they're going to have this ideology and they're going to get into corporations. They're going to get into business. They're going to carry this with them and try to enforce these crazy rules.

[2:12:13] Like there was – we were talking about modalities of therapy. One of them, someone floated and the teacher was like, oh, yeah, for sure. It was called like – I don't know what it was called. It was like activism therapy where you get people politically active in order to like motivate them and enrich their lives. And I was like – [2:12:27] You can't do that. [2:12:28] You can't think of like a confused, existentially adrift person and be like... [2:12:32] This is what you need to do. Get politically active? I swear to God, dude, it was... [2:12:36] There was really creepy stuff going on there, and it was all just complete groupthink. If you said anything outside of what was acceptable, you would just get punished. Some of them would try to scold you or be like, yeah, okay, dude. [2:12:51] And it's like, it's, it's a lot. It would, I could see it why it would just break people. Cause I would like, my heart would be beating. I don't really like conflict like that. Yeah. But it was also like, dude, some of the stuff you're like, I can't not say anything. This is insane, dude. Do you ever talk about this on stage? No, I've never really talked about being in social work. Oh my God. It's like, there's gold in them dar hills. It was fun. At that time of the podcast, I would leave school. I would, then I'd come back to the podcast. Like, bro, you won't believe what the fuck these people are saying. You say it on the podcast. Oh, that's awesome. [2:13:21] Seems like it's a great goldmine for stand-up. [2:13:24] Yeah. Like, because you have a very unique experience. True. As a window into how crazy people are in school. Yeah, no, it was, it was terrifying, man. And then the weirdest part is like, after years went by, they were like, [2:13:38] Do you want to get your PhD here? [2:13:40] I was like, no. [2:13:42] after covid after everything after it all they just wanted your money exactly that's what i saw that and i was like man get the hell out of here it would be nice to be calling yourself dr matt bro don't think i didn't think about it come on dog come on dog i know i've been talking to you how many kooky doctors are out there that really opened my eyes i thought doctors were like the smartest people in the world and i went to like higher education i'm like this is fucking insane yeah anyone can you can be a doctor dude

[2:14:06] Anyone can be a fucking doctor. Especially without some subjects, right? Exactly. That's the thing. Not hard sciences. Not hard sciences. Calculus. You want to be a doctor. You could go for anthropology, whatever. Yeah. No problem, dude. No. And they can't say shit. You can make your thesis on anything and be like, excuse me? This episode is brought to you by Blinds.com. Texas summers don't mess around with patio surfaces easily reaching 150 degrees. [2:14:36] like a punishment. And if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees. Get ahead of it with custom solar shades for your den and your patio from blinds.com. Whether you want to do it yourself or have a pro handle everything, they've got you covered. It's all online so you can shop whenever you want, but still have access to real design professionals. They'll even send free samples. Blinds.com has been doing this for 30 years and they back everything with a 100% [2:15:06] satisfaction guarantee so you can order with confidence. Right now, my listeners can get an exclusive 40% off when you spend $500 or more at blinds.com and use the promo code ROGAN40. Limited time offer, blinds.com, promo code ROGAN40. Rules and restrictions apply. This episode is brought to you by ShipStation. When your company's growing fast, order fulfillment can make or break your success. ShipStation's intelligence-driven platform brings order

[2:15:36] management, rate shopping, [2:15:39] inventory and returns, warehouse systems, and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week on fulfillment. ShipStation compares rates across all major global carriers, including USPS, UPS, and FedEx, plus your own discounted rates if you have them to find you the best shipping option on every order with discounts up to 90% off. There's a [2:16:09] Trust ShipStation. Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JRE for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code JRE. [2:16:39] and Ellen Pluckrose did. [2:16:41] You know what they did? No. They made these fake academic papers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. Like heteronormative something in dog parks. They were talking about like gay experiences with dogs. It was like a peer reviewed paper. Fat bodybuilding was one of them. Yeah. And they were like celebrated. These papers were celebrated. Dude, it would go 100%. The theory, like the critical race theory and all that stuff you cover, when you get into it, you're like...

[2:17:09] I remember saying this, I was very... [2:17:12] Like, it reminded me, because I'd been outside of Walmart, someone handed me like a pamphlet, and it was like white supremacy literature. Yeah. [2:17:18] When you read that stuff, you read the first two sentences, you go, okay, that sounds legit. And then it just – there's this, like, huge quantum leap in reasoning. You're like, whoa, how the fuck did we get here? A lot of that's very similar where it will make a thing, like, you just – no one can disagree with. Right. And then it jumps real quick and you're like – Just complete groupthink. Yeah. Yeah. But that was scary to be like, damn, dude, these people are going to be, like – [2:17:38] These people are therapists working with kids, older people, you know, this and that, you know, and it was just like – [2:17:44] I was like, how is the people supposedly guiding people through life or taking people who are lost or suffering? I don't know. It was kind of rough. Because the animus against a person who like... [2:17:56] thought differently. It was palpable and like very severe. [2:18:00] To where it was like, dude, and the funniest part was like, I was, again, I was in that high school in the inner city. The school was like 97% black, the rest Latino. And they were like, how would your students feel about your podcast material? I'm like, they don't give a fuck. [2:18:14] They would laugh. [2:18:16] Like they have bigger fish to fry than being like, what did you say on a podcast? It's like they're like high schoolers in Philly fighting for their lives. How would your students feel? That was the big disconnect. I'm like, you guys have like, I don't know, man. Like they would even teach you. This would crack me up. I was like thinking about this the other day where they would tell you if you had a client and, you know, say your client was black and, you know, I'm a white guy. I should lead by going like.

[2:18:40] how do you feel about the fact that I'm white and you're black? I was like, dude, you guys realize you're in a classroom studying how to talk to a black person. I'm like, that's fucking weird. [2:18:51] I was like, just talk to them. You can just talk to them, man. And if that comes up, you can tackle it. [2:18:55] But like you're uncomfortable and then you're going like, so black person, how do you feel that I'm white? It's like, dude, that is – and they would push back against me. I'm like, no, no, no, you guys can't do that. [2:19:04] That's crazy. Well, you were actually applying it in the real world. They were just exhibiting – they were just hanging out in these circle jerks. Exactly. And a lot of them would be like, you know, I'm social justice, blah, blah, blah. And they'd be like, all right, where's your field placement? That was like your internship. And they were like – [2:19:19] I'm out in the main line. It's a really nice area in Philly. It's like, I'm doing a high school in the main line. [2:19:24] Okay, dude, it's like, you know, it's like, take that act somewhere else. And it's like, those kids don't want to hear any of this shit, like, at all. And I would let you talk to them. Like, if race comes up, I would talk to them. But like, you... [2:19:34] That would have been so crazy to take a black eighth grader and being like, [2:19:38] I'm white. How do you feel about that? That would be so creepy and weird. Isn't it crazy that they think you're obligated to bring that up? [2:19:47] you have an obligation to discuss it? Also, it's like they fucking know. They can see me. I'm clearly white. They know I'm white. And it's like, exactly. It's like, and if that, talk, talk, talk, talk. [2:19:58] And then you can like bring it up because it's a thing, but it's like leading with that. I always feel like least of their problems. Exactly. They're just probably happy. Someone takes an interest in them and is kind to them. Dude. And that was a big thing, too, of like, you know, because you get them out of class and a lot of them, they'd be like, I'm fucking talking to this guy. It's like, whatever. And I would just chill and be like, you can just do your homework.

[2:20:17] And then you just start helping them with their homework. Like, what are you doing? And then you eventually build rapport. But it was just like, you know, I'm like, these are the teachers telling you this. And you're like, fuck, dude, you guys are guiding people into this? It was, dude, I walked away from that being like, god damn. Well, there's a lot of people that think that, like, a lot of psychology and a lot of therapy is just complete horseshit. Yeah. And the argument about therapy being complete horseshit in terms of, like, the academic study of it and applying it to people is that – [2:20:47] Very few people, you know, get better. [2:20:50] I think it does help a lot of people, though. Yeah. And I think it really helps a lot of people if they're in a really bad place. I think some people just want to talk to somebody. Yeah. And that can help, too. [2:20:59] But it's like... [2:21:01] What can you actually do for them in terms of like with – [2:21:06] the tools and the techniques of therapy, [2:21:10] Versus just being a human and talking to a human and seeing their side of things and trying to tell them your perspective and trying to give them a rational point of view and giving them maybe some things to work on. But it's like it's not a science. Not at all. And it varies so much between individuals. Well, yeah, there's the individuals. Then there's 40 million modalities of therapy.

[2:21:40] where it's like there's a system, it's a kind of rigorous [2:21:43] You can have like Jungian stuff where you're like, let's draw like a mandala based on your dreams. Or you can just be like, let me just be nice to this person who's never had anyone be nice to them. And then let them kind of open up. Yeah, I think they did a study one time where they took – [2:21:58] They let people who weren't trained therapists be therapists, and they didn't find a giant difference in terms of, like, who was getting what result. But then there's – it is a skill, though. That's the other thing. Like, it's a skill. It's a hard job. Yeah. Yeah. [2:22:10] But I think you're totally right where it's like it all depends on the person. Are they in touch with what's fucked the therapist? Do they know about what's fucked up with them? Right. Because you can like – I don't know, man. It's such a crapshoot and it's like – [2:22:22] I think it can be beneficial. I think being stuck in it your whole life, I don't know about that, because it just becomes a thing where you start performing and you're like, fuck, let me... Well, a lot of people feel like you have to be in therapy. [2:22:33] And everybody should be in therapy. Yeah. [2:22:35] Yeah, I don't know. I remember I didn't do it ever, and then when I went to school for therapy, they're like, you've got to go to therapy so that you can know what it's like and blah, blah, blah. I was like, fair enough. And I genuinely walked in there being like, I'm about to blow this lady's mind. She's going to be like, I've never met a guy, so put together. And then I went in there, and she kind of picked me apart, and I was like, fuck, I'm kind of fucked up. [2:22:57] That's funny. But I for real was like, this lady's about to be like, bro, let me just tell you about my life. I for real had so much joy. [2:23:05] I thought I was the chosen one.

[2:23:10] It was good, though, because the one thing they can do is if you're in a family system... [2:23:16] And you have no other, like, you know, available worldviews. You're locked in that. So a therapist can be somebody outside of a system you would otherwise ever have access to. [2:23:26] who can let you run things through your head in a way you would never think of, that I think is good. [2:23:31] But then it's like, you know, at a certain point, it's like, I feel like you should get in, get out. Kind of like, all right, here's some things. It's like, there's like acceptance commitment therapy. That's good. It's like they teach you how to be like mindful, how to like. [2:23:42] Monitor your thoughts without having them like completely attacked. There's like there are like skills you can learn. Yeah. [2:23:48] But it's like, dude, fucking the and the money of it's crazy. Like, that's the other thing. Like, it's so expensive. Right. And does insurance pay for it for most people? How does it ends? It like it'll cover it for some you have to be that you have to get a therapist in that network. And then they have to diagnose you if insurance wants if you want your insurance to cover you. [2:24:07] That therapist has to diagnose you with a mental disorder or some sort of mental thing. Oh, and do they have to prescribe something for you? They don't. I don't think they have to prescribe. No, but it's like interesting. Do they have to just give you a like, you know, your bipolar adjustment disorder is the one where it's like. But with psychiatrists, like I wonder how many of them are just like incentivized to put you on something. [2:24:26] Probably a ton. They're just like doctors. Right. So and then some of them just swear by it. They're like, just take this, take that, take this. Yeah, I have a friend who went to a psychiatrist and he said that like immediately, like first meeting, this guy's trying to put him on antidepressants. Yeah. And he's like, well, I don't think I need that. Like, yeah, I'm not that fucked up. Just not happy.

[2:24:48] Yeah. I'm sad. It's also, first meeting's crazy because it's like, let's see what your life's about. No, he's like, let's get you on this and it'll make you feel better. Yeah. And we'll work from there. [2:24:57] Well, some of those guys are like ruthless materialists where you're like, yeah, your brain's just fucked up, dude. Right. Have you ever seen the Sapolsky guy? Yeah, Robert Sapolsky. Yeah, I think he's great. I love his lectures. But his last book... [2:25:08] And again, this was like from him promoting it. I didn't read it, but his argument was like, yeah, we just all have different brains. And if you're like, you know, if you're like a fucking home invader or burglar, it's just your genes suck. And like, we shouldn't ever punish anybody. We should just kind of like keep people aside and just rehabilitate. Basically saying like you have no choice over what you do at all. Free will is complete illusion. Yeah, that's the determinism argument. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that argument. [2:25:38] circumstances, your past behavior, all the experiences that you've had. There's a lot of factors. To say that will doesn't mean anything, well then why is inspiration so important? Why do people love inspiration? Why do people love a good pep talk? Why do people love a good motivational video that gets you out of the house? Obviously there's will involved. [2:25:58] And will is the thing that turns you into a jelly roll at 500 pounds to jelly roll at 200 pounds. Like that's what will does. Yeah. Like that is – that's a real thing, man. That's not a fake thing, this idea of free will. It's no determinism that led jelly roll to decide to start walking. It was hardcore will. Yeah. No, I agree. I don't – that argument always – because I like Sapalski. I liked a lot of his stuff.

[2:26:28] Okay, you're taking the idea of will and just switching it with like this nebulous, like what, there's like an isotope in your brain that gets switched on and then you're able to, it's just, to me, it's such a, like a, just a weird point to kind of like try to push across. Like there's no free will, it's just your gene activates and then you do the thing and it's like, I guess, man. But then you can like change your genes apparently. [2:26:48] by like acting a certain way. So it's like, you know, I just never liked that stuff, man. It's a weird argument, but there's validity to both perspectives. [2:26:58] There's validity to the perspective that free will is a real thing, but also determinism is a giant factor in how many people live their lives the way they live them. Yeah. Especially if you're in a shit circumstance. You're in a terrible gang-ridden community. You get beaten in your house. Your mom's on crack. There's chaos everywhere. The idea that you're going to come out of this writing vegan poetry is insane. It's true. It's insane. That's true. That's insane. [2:27:28] to a certain extent. And usually someone finds something that they love that gives them an outlet and then they get out of there. The problem with the determinism stuff for me is like, because I do get that. It's like, you know, yeah, if you have a horrible upbringing and you do a you know, you kill people. [2:27:44] It is like, yeah, I get it. Like, if that had been me, maybe I can do that. And, like, he's like, maybe we should treat everyone a lot more kindly and not punish people. And it's like... [2:27:51] I'm all on board with that. For me, it all stops at pedophiles. And it's like, so what? We're supposed to just like – [2:27:57] Poo poo a pedophile. It's like part of me is like we should probably fucking fry those guys where it's like well, that's one of the craziest things about this whole what's going on the woke shit in academia is they're starting to call the minor attracted persons. Yeah, so there's like legitimate academics are describing pedophiles as minor attracted persons and that it doesn't mean that they're evil. It's like what?

[2:28:20] Yeah. I know. And that's the problem. It's like, okay. Especially if you have kids. Like, I don't know anybody who has kids who has that perspective. No. [2:28:27] If you did, you have to be like a sick fuck, like to think that it's, oh, it's just a minor attractive person that fucked my kid. Like what? Yeah. Well, and that's the whole thing, too. It's like you were all just bags, you know, of like jeans and we're this material goo that just does something. Sometimes it's like, all right, well, let me fucking squash this pedophile. And let me just bags of goo. Let me crush this guy. But it's like it's OK to abort a child, but it's not OK to kill a pedophile. I know. Explain. Help me. Yeah. That's where it gets for me all that like determinism. [2:28:57] justice. [2:28:59] For sure. And then it's like, ah, fuck pedophiles. It's like, yeah, you can't. [2:29:03] So pedophiles, serial killers. Yeah. There's a lot of rapists. There's a lot of different people you could throw into that. One of the interesting things about Sapolsky is he did some crazy work on toxoplasmosis. That's how I really got into him. Really? Yeah. He was the guy that we first started reading about that was saying that a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims, [2:29:33] for toxoplasmosis. And he said a giant percentage of them have this cat parasite. Yeah. [2:29:39] Oh, yeah, I've heard about this cat parasite alters behavior. It makes you more reckless. It makes you more prone to erratic mood swings and it makes you more aggressive. Interesting. Yeah. Disproportioned amount of successful soccer teams have high levels of toxoplasmosis and countries with higher toxoplasmosis. It could also be higher countries of higher toxoplasmosis.

[2:30:02] So toxoplasmosis don't have any money. It's easier to get a soccer ball. People get good at soccer. It's the way out of the game. I mean, way out of bad neighborhoods. But this the motorcycle victim thing is nuts because we know it affects human behavior. And we also know that it affects animal behavior. [2:30:19] It makes cats... [2:30:21] It grows inside cats' guts. It's the only way that it reproduces. So what it does is it rewires a sexual reward system of rodents. And, like, mice and rats get turned on by the smell of cat piss. So they go to seek out cat piss with, like, a boner, like, literally. And they lose all their fear of cats so that the cats devour them. And so when the cats devour them, then that parasite is now inside the cat's gut, which is where it reproduces. So that's why they tell pregnant women you should never touch cat litter. [2:30:51] Thank you. [2:30:51] Really? Yeah. It's toxoplasmosis. And they think it does the same thing in humans, where it just makes you, like, kind of amps up your drives. Yeah. Damn. You know what else is nuts, too? Because you were saying that's more in, like, certain countries that are, like, developing. Well, it's in rural areas and in places where people have, like, outdoor cats. Yeah. But there was one point where in France it was, like, 50% of the people had toxo. Jesus Christ. Yeah, because there was wild cats everywhere. Yeah. And you got to think, cats are on your countertop. [2:31:21] shit is on their paws. That's the one thing. I have dogs. Cats are fine. If I see a cat, I'll pet it. But when I see people's cats on their countertop, and I don't get squeamish easily, I'm just kind of like, ew, dude. It is gross. It's kind of gross. Well, they shit in a box. They paw around in that box of shit and piss. And then they hop on your couch.

[2:31:39] Yeah. With shit and piss on their paws. Yeah. Dogs go outside. They take a shit. They come inside. They're good. Yeah. As long as your dog doesn't rub his asshole on your dinner plates, you're probably okay. But I've had cats that walk on your plates. They don't give a shit. They'll take a seat on your plate. Yeah. You're like, I have to get a new plate now, you fuck. What are you doing? Get off of that. And they're funny. But every time I see them get out of the litter box and walk across people's countertops, I'm like, dude. It's funny. I've always had them, though. Well, I don't have them now because my kids are allergic. [2:32:09] They are fun. I like them. They're fun pets. They're cute. They come over you and purr. Yeah, but it is weird that you have a box of shit in your house. And there's a lot of people like they're lazy and you go over their house. They have a cat. They're not cleaning that litter box. And as soon as you walk in, though, fucking waft of piss and shit hits you. And like, bro, you're just smelling this all day. I need I would need an outdoor. I used to let stray cats come in my house when I was after college. I live in a house by myself in Philly. It's like a small house. And, uh, [2:32:38] A lot of the houses on the street have been knocked down. So there's only like – there were row homes, but I had a standalone row home. There's a lady across the street that had a standalone row home. They just knocked all the houses next to us down and like two other people. And I would let the stray cat into my house. Like, you can come stay in here. But I'd be like, you can't. Like, this thing can't get in my bed. [2:32:55] By like three days, that thing was like curled up next to my face. I got a fucked up eye infection. [2:33:00] It was called epidemic keratoconjunctivitis. It's called shit in your eye. It literally was. But the eye doctor was like, the eye doctor goes, I only see this. This is like in third world countries. And dude, for six months afterwards, after it got cleared up, they had to shut the thing down and clean the whole eye practice.

[2:33:18] Afterwards, my eye at 10 o'clock would start to droop. [2:33:21] Whoa. Because the white blood cells would rush to my eye. So I would be out, dude, for six months after this thing finally cleared up. [2:33:27] It was viral. They're like, there's nothing you can do for it. [2:33:30] I would go out, my eye would just start drooping, and I'd be like, I gotta go home. I gotta go home. It's your alarm. I would feel like I had fucking... This is what you said? Yes, I feel like I had fucking sand in my eye. Highly contagious, severe eye infection caused by adenovirus, typically types A8, A1937, cause rapid onset of red, painful, watery eyes, often with light sensitivity, blurred vision, and swollen eyelids. [2:33:53] Dude, I would wake up in the morning, my eyelid was stuck together and I'd have to pull it open. [2:33:58] And then I saw the movie Ray. Remember the beginning of Ray when his eyes get all globbed up? I was like, dude, am I going blind? This would suck. That would suck if you got blind from a cat's asshole. It would fucking suck, dude. Bro. Yeah. [2:34:08] But a friend of mine has shingles. [2:34:10] on his face it's crazy his whole face is all swollen up and he's worried he might go blind he has it now yeah he just got it he's an older guy and he just got it what is shingles like when you don't get chicken pox and it like comes and gets you afterwards i don't think so i think it's a form of the herpes virus that uh affects older people in particular older people are terrified of it they get shingles vaccinations and shit [2:34:37] Is that what it is? I thought chicken pox was herpes, too. [2:34:40] Oh, really? I always heard that. If you don't get chickenpox as a kid, you might get shingles as an adult. My uncle got shingles, and he said it sucked. Oh.

[2:34:48] Known as herpes zoster, a viral infection that causes a painful rash. It stems from the reactivation of the varicella zooster virus, the same one responsible for chicken pox, which lies dormant in nerve tissues after the initial infection. So after you get the infection, then you can get shingles. Oh, no. After chicken pox resolves, the virus remains inactive in the body's nerve cells. Factors like aging, weakened immunity, or stress can trigger reactivation, leading to shingles. [2:35:17] Most commonly in adults over 50, yeah. [2:35:20] Yeah, my friend is like in his 60s. That sucks, dude. Yeah. [2:35:23] That's rough. [2:35:25] A lot of older people are scared of shingles. Yeah. My uncle got it. Like he was. Is the shingles vaccine effective? Does it prevent shingles? No. [2:35:34] Is that one of the legit ones? [2:35:36] This says vaccines like Shingrix reduce... [2:35:40] risk significantly. [2:35:43] antiviral drug-shortened outbreaks. [2:35:47] if started early. [2:35:48] Oh, you got to get on it right when you see the first bump. Please suck it. Somebody knows kids got MRSA from swimming in one of those. Oh, that's scary. We got the pictures. It was just like bubble. It looked crazy. MRSA is terrifying. Yeah. That's all from people taking antibiotics. Or it was staph. Staph and MRSA. Yeah, it was staph. Staph is the more dangerous one. Oh, excuse me. MRSA is the more dangerous one because MRSA is medically, medical resistant. Oh, okay. Medicine resistant. So this was just staph.

[2:36:18] bubble on their hand. It looked, it looked crazy. I've had stuff. Did you really? I've had it a couple of times. Oh yeah. I got it from jujitsu. A lot of people get it. Yeah. It's real common. Like, um, [2:36:29] A lot of people get it and they don't even realize they have it until it's too late. Like Ari had it and he didn't even know he had it. We were playing pool once and he was limping. He was walking around. I go, why are you limping? And he goes, oh, I got a spider bite. And he was doing jujitsu. I bought him a year of jujitsu for Christmas. Yeah. I forced him to celebrate Christmas. [2:36:47] I didn't say it's Hanukkah. I got him a Christmas present. [2:36:51] I go, let me say, and he rolls his pants up. [2:36:54] And I see this bubble. [2:36:56] on his knee with like a pus center of it. And I go, we're going to the hospital right now. He goes, are you serious? I unscrewed my cue. I go, you have to go to the hospital right now. I go right now. I go, that's staph infection. And he was like, why don't they fucking tell us about why aren't there signs at the gym warning you about them? Like, that's a good point. Like you kind of have to hear about it from somebody. Yeah. I found out about it from my friend Tate. Shout out to Tate Fletcher, my homie. We were at the airport once. [2:37:23] And I had shorts on and, you know, I had just like my foot sitting up like this. He goes, what's on your calf? [2:37:28] I had like little pimples on my calf. I'm like, I don't know. [2:37:31] Nothing. [2:37:32] And he goes, dude, I think that's staph. I'm like, what? Like, are these little zits? You think that's staph? And he goes, yeah, you should go get that checked out. And I went to the doctor. And he said, yeah, that looks like staph. He goes, I'm going to put you on antibiotics right away. And we're just going to swab it and send it in. But I don't want to wait. [2:37:46] And I got on it right away, and so I killed it quick. But I remember the antibiotics –

[2:37:53] Dude, you feel so weird when you're on the air. You're just like so tired. I hate taking them, man. Some guys fight on them. I know guys that have got staph infections in the UFC, fought off the staph infection with antibiotics and then fought on the antibiotics, which is crazy. Yeah, that's insane. I don't know how you'd have any endurance. [2:38:14] No. I always feel weird. I also like, they mess my stomach up so bad. Oh, yeah. My stomach's just fried. Well, my friend Gordon Ryan, that's his belt up there, greatest jujitsu grappler of all time. He has to retire because he got staph so many times that he was taking antibiotics so often that it fucking nuked his gut bacteria. And like he can't hold food down. He throws up all the time. It sucks. Yeah, it's crazy. He's been dealing with it for years. [2:38:44] that he has to retire. [2:38:45] Dude, I got it. He can't train. That fucking blows. And he's the greatest of all time. And he's done. And he's 30. Ugh. Yeah. That sucks. Like, unanimously regarded as the greatest grappler of all time. And that's it? Yeah. He's gone like 10 years undefeated, beating the best fighters in the world. [2:39:03] Can he take time off? Can he just take five years off? He's trying. He's done that. He hasn't competed in a couple of years. He can't do it. He can't train. That sucks. It's like it keeps coming back. [2:39:14] Dude, I had eczema one time. [2:39:16] And it like it came up on my it was like on my legs and it was on my dick. [2:39:22] And I thought it was ringworm because it was like a perfect circle.

[2:39:25] So I go to the, you know, I go to the, whatever, urgent care, and I'm like, yeah, I got fucking ringworm. [2:39:30] And they're like, that's weird, usually it doesn't go on there. [2:39:32] But they're like, just put fucking, you know, Lothramine. Or I think what I... Remusel? Yeah, like Lothramine, that shit. So I put Lothramine on my dick, and it just dried. Like, the whole thing. It was like, it was disgusting. So then I had to go back to another urgent care. [2:39:48] And it would be like the second or third time I just show like a fucking shriveled, flaccid, like chapped red penis. I showed this one nurse who goes like, I don't know, calls in another nurse. And I'm like, fuck. All right. She comes in. I don't know what that is. They call in someone else. I'm like, oh, third nurse. [2:40:04] Giant black guy comes in. I'm like, no. No. [2:40:11] You know he's going to laugh as soon as he leaves. Bro, he was probably, I can't believe. Yeah, it was bad. [2:40:18] Finally, I went to a dermatologist. And, dude, you can look it up, Center City Dermatology. [2:40:24] run by just like a babe. It's on the website. Everyone knows this who has ever gone there. I was talking about it one time. My friend was like, bro, I know exactly who you're talking about. [2:40:32] She comes in, checks it out, and she's like, dude, you had, you know, that wasn't even ringworm. And then she gave me this cream, and it, like, cleared it right up. So I just show, like, my, like, chap. It was like a leprosy. Bro. [2:40:45] whoa yeah dude that's just for us [2:40:48] She saw me at my worst, dude. Hilarious. So I just showed it to like four people. It was like a leprosy penis. And then eventually she was like, oh, no, dude, take like – it was like a corticosteroid. Cleared it right up. I know people that have had eczema that went on a carnivore diet and it went away. I can't have gluten. That's the thing. I've been allergic to gluten for a while, and if I kind of backslide on that, it's like I'll get little eczema flare-ups. A lot of people are allergic to it. And a lot of people don't think it's actually the gluten.

[2:41:18] the crops with glyphosate. I've heard about that. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of makes sense because like, why are all these gluten? [2:41:25] intolerant. Nobody heard about those in the 70s. No. There was no one gluten intolerant. No. Dude, the weird thing is my mom, she's always been a health person. [2:41:36] She got this book because she had health problems and like it was in the 80s. My aunt was a nurse, gave her this book. My mom self-diagnosed gluten allergy in like the 80s. [2:41:46] And everyone's like, you're out of your fucking mind. Like, nobody has this, blah, blah, blah. And, yeah, then, like, when I was in college, I was like, dude, like, I feel like my, every time I swallow food, it feels stuck in my throat. I have, like, gas. I'm burping. My stomach's fucked up. I'm not sleeping. I was having, like, racing thoughts and shit. And she was like, oh, try not eating gluten for a while. Dude, it cleared it up. That's crazy. It was insane. I wonder if that's the same with, like, gluten that you get in Europe where they're not using any glyphosate. No, that's what I heard. [2:42:16] It's fine. [2:42:17] I remember I took a test finally, and it was like one of those internet blood test things. And I came up. [2:42:23] Like allergic to not even the gluten. It's like glidian, which is like another protein inside of wheat, which I don't know if it's the same thing or what. It's just like an allergy to it. [2:42:33] I showed it to Shane. It was moderate. And he goes, moderate, you're a pussy. Have a pizza. I was like, fuck. Why did I show you? He was always like, everyone's like, it's fake. It's in your head. You're full of shit. [2:42:45] So I finally have proof. I'm like, what are you going to do about it now? He goes, moderate? Pussy. I'm like, fuck, man. It's one of the worst intolerances to have because the food is so delicious. Like, think about it. Spaghetti, lasagna, bread, sandwiches. I don't. And eating the gluten-free bread is like not. At that point, you just go like, I'm not eating bread. It's not really good.

[2:43:07] In order to make it good, you have to put so much shit in it that you're like, I might as well not eat it. I've been off the gluten since I was like 21. Wow. And then anytime I would like backslide at a restaurant where they cook with it and stuff, it would, you know. [2:43:18] Fuck me up. Weirdly enough, though, if I get enough sunlight... [2:43:21] I can tolerate a lot more stuff. [2:43:25] I guarantee that's a vitamin D thing. I think, I don't know. It's weird, man. Every time I go to a doctor, they're just like, bro, I don't know what to tell you. Well, vitamin D is good for your immune system, and these are autoimmune issues. It makes sense that they would kind of be connected somehow or another. Yeah, because I couldn't eat, after the gluten, it was like, then I couldn't eat dairy, and then every time I'd get sunlight, I could eat the dairy. It's fucking weird. How are nuts is the sunlight thing? Like, for so long, people are saying, stay out of the sun. [2:43:49] Sun's going to kill you. It's crazy. And now they're going, no, no, no. You need to get in the sun or you're going to die. I know. I know. What's the new? We got the new food pyramid now. I know. Well, a lot of people are so angry. [2:44:01] They're so angry at RFK Jr. for flipping the food pyramid. But there's so much evidence that this is the accurate way to eat. This is the way people are supposed to be eating. It's like whole foods, like actual food, like vegetables, meat, fish, like – [2:44:13] That's what you're supposed to eat. Like actual food that people have been eating for thousands of years. That's how you're supposed to eat. Dude, that's the stuff that backlash against them that I'm like, I don't get it, man. It's like getting the weird shit out of foods that they don't have in Europe for schools and stuff. That was always the left wing's position. I do. There's like no preservatives, no additives, natural foods. I know. And that's the thing, too. I love – because I have all these food allergies, so I got to go to a hipstery –

[2:44:39] Kind of like rainbow flag restaurant. That's the only place I can eat from. So I'm like, I know you guys like this. Why are you pretending to not like getting rid of like Red 40 and all that shit? Because it's connected with Trump. Because RFK Jr. is a part of this party. Well, part of this administration. And so it became a political thing. People are just so silly. They'd rather commit suicide. They'd rather poison themselves than admit that he's right. It's insane. Just be like, dude, just give him one. Be like, all right, that's actually a good one. [2:45:09] this person that I don't agree with because he's connected to this other person I don't agree with. Maybe he's got some good points. Maybe if a person that was like, [2:45:18] someone that I aligned with ideologically had the same points, I would be like, yes, thank you. Yes, these preservatives are terrible. Yes, these dyes are terrible. Yes, this is bad for you. Yes, you should have warning labels. Yes, other countries have banned these products. Why do we have them? Yes. [2:45:35] Dude, and especially like if you have kids, it's like, dude, you worry more about that than like your kids not eating a bunch of crazy bullshit. Yeah. It's like, dude, just let it go. You can be like, all right, like I don't like this, but that's fucking right. I like that. Let's let them cook on that. And it's like. So many people that aren't religion, don't have religion in their life, they worship science. Like science. [2:45:56] They treat it as if this is like a doctrine and a dogma, and if you don't support it, you're a heretic. There's something wrong with you. It's like, well, do you know those people, these scientists? Like a lot of them are fucking severely compromised. They're compromised by financial incentives. They're compromised by academic incentives. They're trapped in these systems where you're forced to have groupthink. You have this top-down control. The people that are at the top are controlled and connected to these pharmaceutical drug companies.

[2:46:26] I was like, this isn't all clean. Yeah, they're hanging with Epstein, too. I know. Isn't that crazy? He loves scientists, man. He did. Thank God I wasn't a scientist. Isn't that weird? Yeah. That's so weird. That's so fucking creepy. Yeah, it's – and the science – dude, the science shit is like – because I do know this from going to a master's. I know you need to understand statistics. You need like a very serious understanding of statistics to actually make sense of those studies. And I never was able to do that. But it's like you can read those studies and like, oh, look at this. It's a graph. Everything's going up. [2:46:56] What was like the percentage of the what this and it's like statistics is for real like magic to me where it's like it's so slippery and weird and like you can make one thing look this way and it's you can arrange the data in a different way. You're like, oh, shit, the fucking thing went up and now this is better. It's like, well, that's what pharmaceutical drug companies do for sure. They'll they'll run multiple studies and then throw out all the ones that show no efficacy and even hide dangerous side effects. They hide them. Yeah, I think they're allowed to do as many. [2:47:26] since like years and years ago, and I think they were allowed to do as many studies as it needed. [2:47:31] To like show basically what they wanted to say, which wasn't even good. It was like 50%. [2:47:36] We had a lawyer in here that he had worked on cases with pharmaceutical drug companies, and one of the things that he said that was really crazy was he found out that the pharmaceutical drug companies don't – when they get peer-reviewed, when their papers get peer-reviewed, they don't have to give the data to the scientists. They give their review – [2:47:55] of the data to the scientists and then it gets peer review.

[2:47:59] Damn. [2:48:00] Yeah, that's like rigged. Yeah, that's crazy. It's so rigged. Remember the study that was like if you drink one glass of wine, you're going to be healthy? Yeah. That was complete bullshit. That was made by a body of science that was like promoted by the big alcohol companies. It was completely false. I know so many people who are like, dude, it's good for me. I need alcohol every day. They were also saying resveratrol. That was one. Yeah, grape shit. And it's also just like eat a fucking grape then. Well, also take resveratrol. It's a good supplement. [2:48:30] seeds a glass of wine you have to drink the whole bottle yeah and then you're hammered yeah that shit always threw me off and i remember i remember at the time being like there's no fucking way [2:48:43] That's true. Yeah. But no, you hang out more and you're less lonely. I think there's something to the relaxation of alcohol that like at least it makes you feel better. And I think feeling better is a part of like having a better life and having a better, a healthier mind. Because there's something about people that are just riddled with anxiety and thinking about things all the time. There's a lot of people out there that are just, they don't have the tools to navigate this fucked up world. [2:49:13] and then, maybe not bad for them. Maybe a little just fuck it juice, like, yeah, true, if you drop the cortisol at night. Yeah, true. A little bit, a little relaxation. There's a lot of people that, like, [2:49:24] One of the only things keeping them hanging on is a drink at night, you know, just a little drink, just nothing crazy. Yeah. You're not killing yourself.

[2:49:32] Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that from somebody either. Yeah, I don't want to take that from people. Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't want to take that. But it's just nuts to be like, this is actually really good for you. It's like, well, it's lesser of two evils for sure. Or were they trying to say that, like, Froot Loops were healthier for you than ground beef? Wasn't that one of the studies? Was it really? No, like, they had comparisons. Like, they had a chart, like, where things fit on the healthy versus not healthy. That's fucking insane. Well, the old food pyramid was the best. [2:50:02] And cost it. That was what you're supposed to eat. That's the base. That's most of your food. You're supposed to be charged on just fucking elbow macaroni. That was for real. Growing up, that's what it was. Meanwhile, people in France, they're eating loaves of bread, and they don't get fat. I know. And they're healthy. I know. That is fucking weird, man. We're getting poisoned. Yeah. Everyone who comes here from another country is like, I feel horrible. I know. They have a hot dog, and they're fucking vomiting in a trash can. [2:50:30] All right, dog, let's wrap this up. Can I have one more thing? Yeah, please. This is going around Wexner's deposition from the oversight committee. It came out like the full video did today. [2:50:43] And there's this clip going around that I don't know what the context is. I'll show you. It's on the screen right now, Joe. Okay. I just want to play it and see. It says, I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words, okay? I'm literally dead. Excuse me.

[2:51:01] It's OK. [2:51:02] Answer me. [2:51:06] Okay. He seems like he's joking. Yeah. He seems like it, but. He wants him to answer questions, very short answers. I keep seeing people saying you're not allowed to be coached in a deposition. Oh, that makes sense. I don't know if this is a good deposition. I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words, okay? That's hilarious that he thought he could whisper that. That's crazy. [2:51:28] That's so fucked up. But what is their relationship? Like, do they fuck around like that? Yeah, yeah. I can't tell. [2:51:35] It's hard to say what that is. That almost was kind of charming. I'm like, that was kind of like sweet, actually, in some weird way. [2:51:40] fucking kill you his answers in this are pretty tough already I can see he's like I had no idea they're like you're stealing money from me ABC reported this five years ago I was like fucking crazy that's news to me [2:51:51] He didn't know that Epstein was stealing money from him? That's what he's saying in some of these clips here. [2:51:56] We'll see where this goes. Yeah, true. If nothing ever happens, people are going to lose all faith in everything. [2:52:03] If nothing happens from all this, if Prince Andrew's the only one who goes down, what if he just gets a slap on the wrist? He's completely going to get a slap on the wrist. He's not going to, like, fucking maximum security. He's not going to, like, Oz. He's not going to be in there, like, doing burpees and shit. He's going to be in protective custody. I never thought he... He's only in jail for 11 hours. He's technically out now. Right, but he's going to be tried, right? Yeah, we'll see. Well, see, the thing is, like, I never thought he'd be arrested. I never thought that would happen.

[2:52:33] that's it banishing him to a cat and then they kicked him out of the estate I was like whoa things are getting serious yeah I think they saw I think they got to see the stuff they must [2:52:45] yeah [2:52:46] All right. Let's wrap this up. Thank you, man. It's been a lot of fun hanging at the club. It's been good times, dude. It's been awesome. It's fun watching your act grow, too. It's really funny, man. Thank you, bro. It's really great. And you're where this weekend? Salt Lake. Salt Lake City in Boise, Idaho. Go get some tickets, folks. Go see them. Matt McCusker, fucking hilarious. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Great funding. Bye, everybody. [2:53:16] Bye. [2:53:22] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist and trust me, I know. [2:53:48] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time with our four-legged

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